by Natalie Ann
“I’d like that.”
“I’ll keep paddling home and then run to the store. How does five sound?”
“It sounds good. I’ll see you then.”
He watched her pick up speed and leave him to slowly paddle his way back to his grandmother’s house. It was better this way; he wouldn’t have to keep up with her and he could glide home slowly while he made plans in his head.
Extremely Cautious
Mallory knew she’d left Nick in her dust on the lake. She’d been paddling slower than normal as it was and didn’t realize it was still too fast. She wanted to laugh about it, but didn’t. She didn’t know if he’d get offended or not.
But honestly, he never did really seem to get offended or angry at anything. Not since he calmed down after he discovered her living here. And as a teen, he was always so happy-go-lucky.
She ran into the house, grabbed her purse, slipped on shoes and then drove to town, trying to figure out what to cook. Keeping it simple, she decided to grab a large steak and some salmon. Surf and turf on the grill.
With grilling in mind, she ran back and got some asparagus along with the makings for a salad. There was no time to really make a dessert, but she knew he had a sweet tooth so she ran to the bakery and bought an apple pie that she could warm up at home with some vanilla ice cream.
Once back at home, she put her food away, then went up to shower and change. She wasn’t sure how the night was going to turn out, but she was pretty sure she knew how she wanted it to.
It was time now. She was sick of hiding, she was sick of being someone she wasn’t for everyone around her.
Before she knew it, Nick appeared in the backyard. “Hey, I heard the music so I decided to check back here.”
“It’s normally where I am. I’m just lighting the grill. Come on up.”
He held a bag up in his hand. “Wine. My grandmother told me what you liked to drink.”
“That was nice.” She reached for it and took it out of the bag. Pinot Grigio—it’d go perfect with dinner. “Would you like a glass? I haven’t seen you drink anything alcoholic other than that shot, so I didn’t know if you did or not.”
“I have the occasional beer or glass of wine now and again. I’ll have a glass with you, though.”
“Have a seat and I’ll go pour us each a glass.”
She walked into the kitchen and opened the bottle, then filled two glasses. She used her hip to open the door and saw him sitting at her table.
“The table looks nice.”
She looked it over one more time. She wasn’t used to having company for dinner and didn’t have very nice china, or even special plates for that matter. Just everyday dishes, but they were bright and cheerful, so she’d set the table with that in mind. Even putting his flowers from a few days ago on the table. They were still looking nice and healthy.
“Thanks. I hope you like salmon and steak. I figured I’d grill a variety.”
“Sounds great. Anything I can do to help you?”
“I’ve got it covered. Especially since you already admitted you weren’t good in the kitchen.”
So he sat back and relaxed while she went into the house and got the rest of the meal she’d prepared on plates.
They were both pretty quiet while she cooked and she started to wonder if maybe this meal was a bad idea. Even though he was the one to suggest dinner tonight, maybe having him over was too intimate to do this early on.
Placing the cooked food on the table, she sat down opposite him and said, “Help yourself.”
“You seem like you’re on edge tonight,” he said.
“That’s funny. I was thinking the same thing about you.”
He smiled and dished up some salad in his bowl, then filled his plate with a little bit of everything else. “I’m not on edge. Just wondering if we’re on the same page or not.”
“What page is that?”
“I don’t know. You tell me what page you’re on and we can find out.”
She wasn’t sure, but didn’t want to admit that. “Why don’t we just talk and see where it takes us.”
“Sounds good. You start.”
“Tell me about Kendra.” For the life of her, she had no idea where that came from.
He forced a laugh, she could see. “Even I know talking about your ex on a date doesn’t make the best impression.”
“Are you trying to impress me?”
“Of course I am. Why would you think otherwise?”
That warmed her to hear. “Well, you’ve impressed me already, so don’t worry there.”
He started to eat, then said, “What do you want to know about her?”
“You’re okay talking about it?”
“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll talk about, but you asked, so I’ll answer the best I can.”
“Just tell me how you met her. Let’s start there.”
“My grandmother never told you?”
She’d wanted to ask about Nick and his relationship with Kendra so many times, but never did. When Trixie brought it up she’d listened intently and stored everything away, but never gave any indication she was more interested than just a casual conversation.
“Not much. Just her name and that you dated and were engaged, then the wedding was off.”
“I’ve brought her here a few times.”
Mallory knew that, but didn’t say anything. She wasn’t about to admit that she’d paddled by trying to catch glimpses of Nick and his family throughout the years. Especially a peek at Kendra, but she’d never saw them. Not once. Of course she was extremely cautious too.
“Trixie told me.”
“Kendra worked for me. Works for me,” he corrected.
“Still?” She thought that was odd, considering how things ended.
“As far as I know.”
“You haven’t talked to her?”
“Nope. She won’t return my calls or messages.”
“Yet she is showing up at your office for work every day?” Stranger and stranger.
“That’s what I’m being told. Anyway, I’m sure you can tell it’s an odd situation. I won’t bore you too much. I hired her as my executive assistant about four years ago. Somewhere a few years ago I noticed she wanted to be more than my assistant. I pretended I didn’t notice, but we spent a lot of time together working. Late nights and long days. Business trips and so on. Little by little she wore me down, you could say.”
“You had no interest in her?”
“I didn’t say that. It’s just I was focused on work and she was my employee. Anyway, we started dating and then got engaged, then I realized she really wasn’t the person I wanted to be with so I called off the wedding.”
“Just like that? She had no clue or no forewarning?”
“There were plenty of clues and signs, but she didn’t see them, or chose not to. We were engaged for almost a year before I’d commit to a date. I’m still not sure I ever committed to a date. It just seemed she did everything and like a puppet I went along with it.”
“I would have never expected that of you. To just go along with someone if you didn’t want to.”
“That’s probably what the comment my grandmother made earlier about having awareness meant. The clues and signs were there for me too, but I ignored them.”
That definitely wasn’t how he was with Mallory or how she remembered him. Just because he was easygoing back then, didn’t mean he ever got walked all over.
“I was busy with work, busy with my company, and things just happened. I blinked and time flew by. The closer we got to the wedding the more I started to have second thoughts and regrets about things. I didn’t want to hurt her, she didn’t deserve that, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t feel right marrying someone that I didn’t love the way I should.”
It hurt her to hear that he loved Kendra at all, but he obviously did if he was going to marry her. Then again, he called it off. She shouldn’t be jealous over hearing those things, but it was hard
not to be.
“And so you came here to get away from everything. To give her time to come to terms with things. She must have been devastated.”
“You’d think, wouldn’t you?” he said, lifting his glass and draining his wine. “I’m going to get another glass, can I get you one?”
“Sure,” she said as he leaned over and grabbed her glass and walked into her kitchen.
She figured he said all he was going to say, which was more than she thought he would.
What did he mean by that last statement? She’d been devastated when Nick told her that he only thought of her as a friend, and all they’d done was share one kiss when she was seventeen. She couldn’t imagine being engaged to him and having him call it off.
She knew he was done talking about Kendra though when he stood up. His expression just shut down; he emptied his glass and stood up abruptly. She wouldn’t push any more.
He came back out and placed her glass in front of her and sat back down. Then he reached across and covered her hand with his own. “I’m sorry if I ever hurt you, Mallory. It was never my intention.”
She wasn’t sure where this was coming from and was shocked. “You did hurt me, but I got over it.”
It took a while, but she did. She’d had other things to focus on than the hurt she’d felt from his rejection. They were nothing more than kids themselves back then, she knew that.
“It doesn’t make me feel any better about doing it. I’m guessing there have been times in my life I’ve been too self-absorbed. It’s not an excuse, but rather an observation now.”
“Why did you do it? Who was the bet with?”
She didn’t know why she asked that, why she was even bringing it up. It was old news, but part of her felt she needed to know.
“There wasn’t a bet with anyone,” he admitted.
“What?”
“It’s a long story and it doesn’t matter now. Let’s say that I did what I did for you. It might not have seemed it back then, but I made a decision based on other things that were going on.”
“That makes no sense. And why lie about it?”
“I don’t know. I was young and stupid. All I can say is I did what I thought was best back then. I was going back to college; you just graduated from high school and were starting your own life in college. It wasn’t fair to start anything with you.”
It made sense what he was saying, but she still wished she’d known back then. “I would have understood if you’d said that to me.”
“I know. It’s a big regret I have. I should have been more honest. I hope you’ll forgive me and not hold it against me now.”
He looked sincere. He’d given her no reason to doubt anything in the last few weeks. They were both young back then, and it was time to start fresh. She’d already told herself she would.
“I’ll give you a second chance.”
“Thanks. I don’t deserve it. I don’t think I even deserve you, but I’m not going to blow it this time. I just want you to know that.”
She believed him. And to show she did, she said, “I write young adult mystery novels. A long series of them.”
He didn’t look surprised by her admission, just happy. “So that’s how you figured out the killer so easily yesterday.”
“Yeah. Not that I’ve got much killing going on in my books. At least for the age group I write for, which is around twelve to fifteen.”
“So you’re going to write mysteries or thrillers for adults now.”
“I’m going to try.”
“Still won’t tell me your pen name though?”
“Does it really matter?”
She didn’t know why she was keeping it a secret. Well, she did. He’d laugh and then kick himself once he heard the name.
“I guess not. And thank you for telling me as much as you have.”
“You told me something tonight about your past that was difficult, it was only fair I did the same. Trust, right?”
“Yeah. Trust.”
Just You
Nick looked at Mallory as he’d said that and tried to fight a cringe. He still wasn’t being completely truthful with her about why he said what he did so many years ago.
But he didn’t feel right telling her the whole truth. It really didn’t matter now, he knew that. He did it for her, and at the time he felt it was best.
And now he was doing what was best for him…and he hoped it was her. He hoped she was what was best for him and that she felt the same way. That he was best for her.
“Let me help you clean up,” he said, standing up and grabbing his plate.
“Sure. I’ve got an apple pie warming in the oven.”
“You made me dessert?” he asked, looking thrilled over the news.
“I cheated. I stopped at the bakery, but I’m warming it up right now. Or,” she said, walking closer to him and leaning in, playing her lips over his, “we can push that dessert off until later and try for another kind.”
All he heard was ringing in his ears. She wasn’t asking him to take her to bed, was she? He figured he better clarify.
“What kind of dessert is that?”
“You aren’t this slow. I know you aren’t,” she whispered and kissed him again.
Okay, that was clear enough. But then a thought popped into his head and he almost groaned out loud. “I’d love to, but I wasn’t prepared for this to happen tonight.”
“No worries. I am.” He leaned back and looked at her, deep into those pools of blue staring at him. The arousal was evident, probably as much as she could feel his against her right now. “I know what I’m asking of you.”
He didn’t realize he was that transparent, that she knew he doubted what she was saying, what she was telling him she wanted. “Then yes, if you’re sure.”
She walked over to the oven, shut it off, then turned back to grab his hand.
“I’m sure. I wouldn’t have brought it up if I wasn’t.”
He followed her up the stairs to her room, not really paying attention to his surroundings, even though part of him wanted to. His mind just couldn’t focus on more than one thing right now, and the one thing he was thinking about was her. Getting her naked and doing what he’d spent too many nights dreaming of. He wanted to pinch himself to see if he was still dreaming, but didn’t dare.
Once in her room, she shut the door and led him to the bed, then reached her arms up and wrapped them around his neck.
“I’ve been thinking about this for weeks,” she confessed.
I’ve been thinking about this for twelve years. He didn’t say that, though. “Me too. So let’s take it slow. Let’s savor it.”
He had every intention of treating her like she was a virgin. Like he was going to be her first lover that he’d dreamed about all those years ago.
She didn’t answer him, and he didn’t care. She stepped back and started to lift her shirt over her head, but he stopped her. “No, let me. Let me do this for you.”
So she dropped her hands down and stepped back. “Wait.”
He thought she was telling him no, that she changed her mind, but all she did was open a drawer in the nightstand and pull out a condom.
“Come here,” he said, reaching for her and holding her tight. He just wanted to hug her for a minute. To tell his mind this was real, that this was really happening.
He inhaled the scent of her hair deeply, lavender filling his senses, almost relaxing him.
He’d always thought she was tall for a woman, but she was still close to nine inches shorter than his six-foot-three-inch frame. And though she was thin, there was strength to her. He didn’t feel like he’d break her if he held her too hard, which he suspected he was doing now as she squeezed him back a little tighter.
“I just wanted to hold you,” he said. “Just feel you against me for the moment.”
“I had hoped you’d want to do more than that.”
“I do. I will. I’m going to now.”
He reached down and
lifted the bottom of her shirt up and over her head. She wasn’t wearing anything fancy, just a plain cotton and lace bra, but it looked better on her than any model walking the runaway in black lace.
He trailed his knuckles down between her breasts, over her ribs and around the waist of her shorts. Her skin felt like silk, so soft and smooth. She was tanned, but not overly. All that time on the lake, he supposed.
Lowering his head, he started to kiss her cheek, then her neck and down to her collarbone. His hands moved around her back and undid the clasp of her bra, then pushed it aside and off her shoulders, letting it drop to the ground.
With his mouth, he worked his way to her breasts, kissing her softness around the top, squeezing her with his hands, his thumbs brushing against her hardened nipples. There was so much he wanted to do and taste and he just didn’t know where to start or move next.
He felt her hands go to his waist and lift his shirt up. “I want to see you,” she said.
So he stepped back and allowed her to lift the shirt over his head and drop it to the floor. Her eyes roamed over him, over his chest and arms, then back up to his face.
If he thought there was arousal in her eyes before, he had no idea what he was seeing now. Her eyes were almost glowing, they were so bright.
“I thought you looked thin when you got here, but you aren’t. You’ve got plenty of muscle under your shirt, and it looks good on you.”
He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that. “Thanks. You look pretty good under your shirt, too.”
She laughed softly. “Bet we both look better with our shorts off.”
“Most definitely.”
He never remembered her being so outspoken or bold before, but he liked this side of her. He liked it a lot and wanted to discover more. Starting with her shorts.
He released the button and lowered the zipper, then watched as her shorts dropped to the floor and she kicked them away. She was left standing in simple pink cotton panties. And that sight of her standing there was sexier than anything he could have imagined. His teenage fantasies had nothing on Mallory as a woman.
She reached out for his shorts, but he brushed her hands aside. “Not yet. Just you. I want to focus on you.”