healthier have better
breath and time and rhyme with each
other when they speak
some of them pretend to be wealthy
if they pretend then
why does she want a new house bigger
than theirs frost still
covers her old windows winter still
comes with its lows
even the snow is the same color each
year never worse never
better sometimes powder sometimes
wetter sometimes earlier
but always still in power no elections
to topple the leaders snow
does not fall it is thrown down at the
people for protesting used
to punish the people by making us
dig ourselves out
MR. DARCY GROWS
Mr. Darcy grows in Barbie Chang
like a deficit she
requires a radioactive suit three
thousand thistles
come down thoughts of him attack
her like a shower
once Sylvia ran outside to chase a boy
who didn’t stop to
visit her all the faces in the street
looked rigid except
for his what if we throw a rope up to
Heaven and nothing
pulls back we are always on one side
or the other a balloon
is waiting to be shaped into a dog or
it has just fallen out
of shape there’s always a vibrating
diving board that
means we can’t tell if he is coming
or has just left
BARBIE CHANG’S DAUGHTER
Barbie Chang’s daughter befriends the
new girl at school but
before they can form a bond the new girl’s
mom tells Barbie Chang
that her own daughter should not tie
herself down too fast and
in one week the new girl walks past
Barbie Chang’s daughter
no longer talks to her the mother works
hard to send cards to
the Circle one by one she stars their names
because they are free
to star names free to have stars next to
their names Barbie Chang
can no longer play dead because she
must be seen to play dead
she realizes she is not what others name
her would we name a
deer something else if it could see the
ocean would the deer
even name itself a deer if we’ve never
seen a deer does it mean
it doesn’t exist if Barbie Chang perches
on a hill with binoculars
waiting for deer and sees someone else
looking for deer but
watching her instead does that mean she
exists or that she’s a deer
THEN BARBIE CHANG
Then Barbie Chang and Mr. Darcy
are in the backseat
of a car kissing not the light kind
but one where their
hands are on each other’s cheeks
holding each other’s
heads as if they will fall off why does
so much love come at
the beginning then disappear then
once again at the
moment before death why can’t the
same kind exist in
between in the breaths in the afternoon
in the sitting room
little girls dress like princesses one pink
one blue one yellow they
wear plastic heels because they still think
they will never fall
BARBIE CHANG KEEPS WATCHING
Barbie Chang keeps watching
the Ellen Pao trial
wants her to win thinks she is right
thinks she should fight
thinks she is wrong thinks she should
step down Barbie Chang
remembers her own long days in a
cubicle with Rob Meyer
mitering his edges talking about his
dates with Asian women
the ones who made it like Eileen never
complained smart ones
didn’t want to work at Walmart switched
off the office lights each
night Barbie Chang like Ellen Pao kept
good records never wore
corduroys to work pretended she hated
recreation with other
Asians she can’t help but think that
Ellen Pao is not pretty
is petty is not good to powwow with
probably doesn’t own
UGG boots if Barbie Chang were her boss
she might have also booted
her out of the office full of lies because
of her small fisted eyes
BARBIE CHANG WANTS TO BE SOMEONE
Barbie Chang wants to be someone
special to no longer
have wet hair to no longer be spectral
to be a spectacle Barbie
Chang wants to befriend the Academy
which is the Circle
wants to eat meat with the Academy
wants to share with the
cads who think there is a door to the
Academy wants the key to
the Academy door wants to give grants
and awards for words
but she never knew that life was about
unraveling not raveling
that a tear is only a tear after it has
fallen her parents never
called in favors never knew there was an
Academy never learned
alchemy Barbie Chang wants to forgive
the Academy for its
cattiness wants to hate the Academy
and its Circle and their
certainty each year she buys climbing
shoes to go up the tree
she tries but can’t climb then sells them
on Craigslist she gets a
new pair each year on her wish list but
can’t get past the first five
feet she stays on the street rolls herself
flat so she can become
the street feel the bare feet of people
pressing her deeper into
the earth there are aspirations of worth
everywhere a stipple of
ants around the cement crack frozen
from bug spray as if
they had meant to take the shape
of an iris
IN THE END ELIZABETH
In the end Elizabeth just wanted the
house and a horse not
much more what if Mr. Darcy didn’t
own the house or
worse not even a horse how do we
separate the things
from a man the man from the things
is a man still the same
without his reins here it rains every
fifteen minutes it
would be foolish to marry a man
without an umbrella
did Cinderella really love the prince or
just the prints on the
curtains in the ballroom once Barbie
Chang went window
shopping but didn’t want a window
when do you know it’s
time to get a new man one who can win
more things at the fair
Barbie Chang already has four stuffed
pandas from the fair she
won fair and square is it time to be less
square to wear something
more revealing in North and South she
does the dealing gives him
the money but she falls in love with him
when he has the money
when he is still ruling
if the water is
running in the other
room is it wrong for her to not want
to chase it because she
wants to taste it when she waves to
a man she loves what
happens when another man with a lot
more bags waves back
IS IT RUDE FOR BARBIE CHANG
Is it rude for Barbie Chang to tell men
she doesn’t love them
just the idea of them what if we don’t
even love living but just
the idea of it pictures always look
lovely but it was an
ugly day if women were actually paid
the same as men would
we all just pass on the highest bidder
who says it’s a privilege
to be romantic romance with its antics
and its time limits like the
nut that never tells us or other nuts
when it will let go
we stand under the tree ready to
collect them with our
arms wide open as in waltzing who
authored the word love
does anyone know the author’s original
intent does it matter
that no one knows exactly what it means
does it matter that it
might signify everything what if we never
needed a word for it
what if it is shapeless and composed
of gestures if we name
the thing love it doesn’t mean it
will last a nut does its
best to last but at some point just falls
like all the others before it
BARBIE CHANG’S MOTHER CALLS
Barbie Chang’s mother calls her to
tell her about the
oxygen machine that outfoxes her
father he can’t figure
out how to turn it on there’s a whole
generation of people
who care about deer porn not form her
dog only cares about the
deer horn she gave him yesterday Barbie
Chang’s father who bothers
with everyone’s business doesn’t know
what Bisquick is someone
wrote a book of poems about Kanye
West there are still
old poets looking for the best new young
poets who are all hornets
around the same old nest Barbie Chang
knows she lives in an
America that most people don’t care
about on most days
she can’t distinguish between being a
token and racism she
either feels like a token or is experiencing
racism a token needs to be
acted upon by a subject but the same is
true of racism does that
mean her whole life is an object as a
shadow of someone
else on some days she has feeling in
her lungs tries her
mother’s oxygen machine the O2 owes
her nothing it goes
through her body breathing for a
shadow is just a hobby
ONCE A MAN SAID EVERYTHING
Once a man said everything Barbie
Chang wanted to hear
except she is deaf sometimes she
wonders about the
depth of her love for others or is she
simply diving to eat
better although she is deaf she hears
there are oysters at the
bottom she can’t get them because
once she has applied
sunscreen on her children her hands
are greasy her palms
are pale from trying to wipe out desire
what if everything on
the bottom is really rotten and our ends
are already written
what if there are no verbs just nouns
what if saying something
makes it true what if becoming a
witness instead of a
victim were as simple as words a wrist
can’t hold much
weight the man hanging out of the tower
was forced out by the
smoke or made a choice to exit the
window he held on to
a rope until his hands slipped if he could
orient himself headfirst
we could say he wasn’t falling but
actually diving
BARBIE CHANG REFUSES
Barbie Chang refuses to start her
own Circle refuses
to wear a girdle would she think
about the Circle in
the last eight minutes before the
plane crashed into
the mountains there are thousands
of miles between the
land and the sky between the words
to love and loved there are
little boats in the brain that can row
nowhere Barbie Chang
should not mind about all her kind
whether she is pretty or
skinny enough loved enough once in
Yosemite she stared for
hours at two giant sequoias fused
together at the base but
separate high above the plaque said they
must be in love she knew it
wasn’t true that they were really two
trees trying to leave
IN AND OUT THESE MEN GO
In and out these men go in Barbie
Chang’s life and run
her life too many run ins and starings
how do they see her
lies so clearly then they disappear it
might be months before
she sees them again once she saw one
every day from afar
but then he moved now she is only
moved by movies the
in and out the losing under the frozen
river there are still things
moving when did her footprints stack up
Barbie Chang Page 4