His Bundle of Love / the Color of Courage

by Patricia Davids

  “They’ll be closed because of the holidays, but I did promise my friend that I would be there next Saturday. I should stay home and work on my lecture, but I really hate to disappoint any of the kids. Do you remember Mark, the boy in the wheelchair from your tour group?”

  “Of course.”

  “My friend told me his mother enrolled him as a Christmas present.”

  “That’s great. I know he’s going to love it.”

  Shane came back into the barn followed by a dozen unit members. “I brought the cheering section, Doc.”

  “Then let’s get started.”

  With the help of Shane and another soldier, Brian soon had his X-ray machine in place. That left Lindsey free to watch him work. He didn’t allow his stiff leg to hamper his job. Instead, he seemed to accomplish things with a minimum of motion, as if he had learned to make every move count.

  “It will take a few minutes to print these,” he said as he exited the stall and headed for his truck. More of the men from the unit had gathered in the barn.

  When Brian walked back in, Captain Watson was with him. As they stopped in front of the group, Brian held the black-and-white film aloft. “The cast can come off.”

  A cheer went up and everyone began pounding each other on the back, shaking hands with Brian and giving Lindsey heartfelt hugs.

  The Captain was the one who asked the question they all were wondering about. “Does this mean Dakota can travel to Washington, D.C.?”

  “No, it means he can begin his rehabilitation. He’ll need to be hand walked for short periods only. I’ll give you a schedule of times to start with and then we’ll see how he progresses. I want to be notified at the first sign of any lameness.”

  Lindsey clasped her hands together in front of her. “But there’s still hope that he’ll be able to make the trip, isn’t there?”

  “A slim hope, I’m afraid.”

  “That’s good enough for us, isn’t it?” Lindsey asked the men around her. They responded with resounding affirmatives.

  “We have faith in you and in Dakota, Dr. Cutter,” Lindsey said. “He’s going.”

  Brian studied the determined and hopeful faces around him and decided not to press the issue. No one here would endanger the horse by insisting he make the long trip if he wasn’t ready when the time came.

  “Before I remove his cast, he’ll need new shoes put on. The ones he has on now will be too tall and I don’t want him to experience an uneven gait.”

  “We have our farrier standing by, Doctor,” Captain Watson assured him. “It shouldn’t take long to change them.”

  Once the new shoes were in place, Dakota stood quiet and calm as his cast was removed. Brian stepped back and asked Lindsey to lead him around the stall. At first, Dakota balked, but with some easy coaxing, he finally took his first steps. Without the weight of the cast, he raised his newly freed leg higher than the others several times but soon seemed to realize he didn’t need to.

  “He has a slight limp, but I think he’s going to do fine,” Brian said to Captain Watson as both men watched the horse closely.

  “You’ve done great work and the army is grateful.”

  “I’m the one who is grateful, Captain. You allowed me to enroll him as my first patient in my clinical trials. His success will certainly add weight to my upcoming conference presentation. He may even make more funding available for the study. I can’t tell you how important that is to me.”

  “We wish you all the best.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  The Captain crossed his arms over his chest. “I wonder if we might ask one more favor of you?”

  “Certainly, if I can.”

  “Sergeant Mandel mentioned you know of a riding stable for handicapped children that might be interested in Tiger. He’s extremely well trained, as are all our horses, but I’d like your opinion on his suitability before I officially ask for his release from service.”

  “I’ll be happy to look him over and make sure he’s sound, but the only way to tell how he’ll do is to expose him to the new environment. We’ll need to see how he reacts to wheelchairs, noisy children, unsteady riders, any number of unexpected occurrences. Hearts and Horses has an evaluation program and I know they would welcome the opportunity to see if Tiger would be right for them.”

  “We can do that. Sergeant Mandel, assign a detail to arrange transport for Tiger to the Hearts and Horses facility. At the facility’s convenience, of course. We’ll go ahead with his evaluation, but make sure they know that he won’t be available until our return from Washington, D.C. I don’t want our senior member to miss this Inaugural parade. Fifteen years of service has earned him the right to participate.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Brian felt the sensation of his beeper vibrating on his belt. He pulled it from his clip and read the message. He was wanted back at the hospital, but he still hadn’t had a chance to speak to Lindsey in private. He looked around and saw she was talking to Shane and Avery. It seemed that he wasn’t going to get a chance today.

  Maybe it was for the best. Now that they wouldn’t be seeing each other so often they could simply allow the relationship to fade. Besides, what if he had read more into her kiss than she meant?

  No, he decided, not speaking to her was taking the coward’s way out. He walked up beside her. “Lindsey, I’ve got to go.”

  “Now?” She couldn’t have looked more disappointed if she had tried.

  “I’m needed back at the clinic. Is there any way I could see you later this afternoon? I need to talk to you.”

  “Sure. I have to go into Manhattan tonight. Why don’t I stop by the clinic later.”

  “That would be fine. If I’m not in surgery, we can get a cup of coffee or something.” He wasn’t happy with the way that sounded. It was too much like asking her for a date, but he had no way to change his words. Why couldn’t a guy buy a verbal eraser?

  “I’d like that. I’ll drop by about five-thirty. Is that too late?”

  “Five-thirty will be fine. See you then.”

  His emergency turned out to be a horse with a severe cut to its left hind leg. It took less than an hour to supervise while his fourth-year student stitched up the patient and another twenty minutes to update the owners and outline a plan of care. He had just finished his paperwork and was handing it to Jennifer to be filed at the front desk when he saw Lindsey coming in the front doors. His breath froze in his chest.

  She paused inside the doorway and slipped off her tan coat, then draped it over her arm. It was then that he noticed she wasn’t wearing her sling. Smiling, she waved when she saw him.

  She wore a dark green blouse with tiny flowers embroidered around the gathered neckline and on the short puff sleeves. A full black-and-green print skirt flared about her slim legs as she walked toward him. Dainty, high-heeled black shoes made those legs look even longer.

  Jennifer pulled the file folder from his slack hand. “Wow. That is a big improvement over combat boots.”

  He couldn’t have agreed more.

  Lindsey stopped in front of him. Her bright smile turned his insides to pudding.

  She said, “Hi. Am I too early? I can wait if you aren’t finished with your work.”

  He found his voice and tried for a professional tone. “Ah, no, your timing is good. Why don’t we just step into my office?”

  “Okay.”

  He turned to his secretary. “Jennifer, hold my calls please.”

  “With pleasure.” She winked.

  He wanted to strangle her. Instead, he said, “Sergeant Mandel and I won’t be long.”

  He allowed Lindsey to precede him down the hall. As he opened the door for her, he spied his rabbit in the middle of his desk engaged in her forbidden activity.

  “Isabella,
put down that pencil!” Brian strode to the desk and pulled the prize from between her paws. He picked her up and sent Lindsey a defeated look.

  “I’ve tried everything and I can’t break her of getting into these.”

  He raised Isabella to eye level and scowled at her. “You are a bad bunny. Do not chew on my pencils.”

  Then, as if regretting his harsh words, he tucked her under his arm and stroked her head. Walking to the door, he opened it and called for Jennifer. She arrived and took one look at Isabella and the yellow paint flakes on her face and feet.

  “Pencils again?”

  “Will you put her in her outside kennel for me, please?”

  “Of course. Come here, you naughty little girl,” she cooed as she took the bunny from him. Ruffling the rabbit’s fur, Jennifer continued to talk baby talk as she carried the offender away.

  Lindsey watched the whole exchange, then raised one eyebrow. “Do you treat her that harshly each time she chews up a pencil?”

  “I didn’t think I was too harsh.”

  “You picked her up, petted her, gave her to Jennifer so that she could pet her and then sent her to the place she most likes to go—outside. In spite of all that she won’t stop chewing your pencils. Will wonders never cease?”

  Walking to the desk, she picked up his pencil cup, opened the deep drawer on the right-hand side of his desk and set the cup in it.

  “Have you tried this?” She stared at him as she closed the drawer.

  Brian pursed his lips searching for a good reply. None came to him. Feeling sheepish, he stepped closer. “Is your advice to simply remove the temptation?”

  Oh, what a temptation this woman presented. Her bright eyes were brimming with mirth. The subtle scent of her perfume filled him with a desire to hold her close and breathe in the freshness she brought to his life just by being near.

  “You’re the animal specialist.” Her sassy tone was almost too much. Calling on every ounce of self-control that he possessed, he resisted the urge to take her in his arms and kiss her. He didn’t deserve to love another woman, but somehow Lindsey had a way of making him forget that fact.

  Could that be the reason their paths had crossed? Was it time for him to move past the grief that had controlled his life until now?

  He pulled open the drawer and set his cup back in its place in the center of his desk. “I like my pencils where they’re easy to reach.”

  She grabbed a new one out of his cup and tapped it gently against her cheek. “I see.”

  He knew he was in trouble the moment he saw the mischievous glint in her eyes.

  “So, is this what a girl has to do to get some attention from you?” She grinned and placed the pencil between her teeth.

  Her playfulness melted the last of the icy barrier that enclosed his heart. Reaching up, he took the pencil from her and dropped it onto his desk, then he took her by the shoulders and drew her into his arms. She stepped into his embrace and lifted her face. Lowering his mouth to hers, he tasted again the poignant sweetness that was so uniquely her.

  After a long second, he pulled away. Tucking her head under his chin, he drew a ragged breath. “I’ve been thinking about doing that all day.”

  “If I had known, I would have come sooner. Just don’t start apologizing again.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Good. You could give a girl a complex that way.”

  “Somehow, I don’t see that happening to you. You’re much too sure of yourself and your place in the world.”

  Resting in the comfort of his arms, Lindsey knew Brian was mistaken about that. She might sound sure of her plans, but more and more she had begun to question what she really wanted out of life. She had dismissed the idea of having a husband and children because she had seen how badly her parents had mismanaged their marriage. She never wanted to subject a child to that kind of pain. Only now, being held by Brian, she wondered if she had been wrong.

  She drew back, determined to regroup her scattered wits. “I believe you asked me here for a reason. We seemed to have gotten sidetracked.”

  “It wasn’t anything important, but I do owe you a cup of coffee.”

  “Yes, you do.” She reluctantly stepped out of his embrace.

  “We can make some here or we can go out to one of those trendy coffee shops that have sprung up all over town.”

  “Yours will be fine. It can’t be worse than what Shane makes for us at the office.”

  “Don’t be too sure about that. But you’re all dressed up. Are you certain you don’t want to go out?”

  “I’m dressed up because I have a Bible-study class in about half an hour.”

  “Is it on post?” He busied himself with filling the coffeemaker and adding heaping scoops of grounds to the filter.

  “No, it’s at Grayson Community Christian Church.” She sat down on the sofa, remembering the gentle way he had cared for her the first time she had been in his office. So much about Brian Cutter was a contradiction. He often sounded gruff and uncaring, but the more she came to know him, the more certain she was that he was a man with a tender heart.

  “I know that church. It’s on the road that leads to my house.”

  “Is that where you worship?”

  He paused in the act of pouring water into the coffeemaker. “I haven’t been to church since my wife died.”

  “Did the two of you attend before that?”

  “Emily was really involved with our church back home. She sang in the choir and helped out in the nursery. She even edited the newsletter for the pastor. She had such boundless energy. I attended when I could, but animals get sick and injured as much on Sunday as any other day. At least, that was the excuse I used.”

  “Why haven’t you been back?”

  “I blamed God for her death. I blamed myself. I can’t get past the anger.”

  “Forgiveness is such a large part of our faith, Brian. You can’t truly love someone else unless you first love yourself. And you can’t truly forgive someone else unless you first forgive yourself.”

  He didn’t answer her. He finished pouring in the water and pressed the on switch. She rose from the sofa and crossed to his side. Linking her arm through his, she laid her head on his shoulder. “Come with me tonight.”

  “To Bible-study class?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Brian, we all struggle to find where we fit into God’s plan, but if you aren’t looking, you’ll never find the answer.”

  “How can you be so sure that God is the answer?”

  She straightened and cupped his cheek with her hand. “We use our head to make a lot of decisions in life, but some decisions have to be made with the heart. This is one of them. Do what your heart tells you is right.”

  He covered her hand with his own. “My heart is telling me that kissing you again is the right thing to do.”

  “See, your heart knows best,” she whispered as she leaned toward him. Their lips met and the kiss was everything she had dreamed it would be. After a long moment, she pulled away and placed her palm over his lips.

  “Okay, my head is telling me that I’m going to be late for class.”

  He kissed her palm, then drew her hand away from his mouth. “Smart, as well as beautiful. I never thought I could feel this way about someone again. I’m not sure this is real.”

  “It’s real enough for me. I care for you deeply, Brian.”

  “And I care for you, so where exactly does this leave us?”

  “I’m not sure.” There were so many things to consider, but with happiness zinging through her veins, she couldn’t think of anything but how wonderful it felt to be in his arms.

  “Lindsey, I want to keep seeing you.”

  Smiling softly, she
said, “That sounds like an excellent start.”

  “I want to know everything there is to know about you.”

  “Everything?”

  He pulled her close and kissed the tip of her nose. “Everything,” he whispered.

  “I’m just an ordinary girl.”

  “Who happens to be a sergeant in the U.S. Army.”

  “Is that a problem?” She held her breath, hoping he didn’t see her career as a roadblock to this budding relationship.

  “I don’t know. Have you thought about leaving the service?”

  She frowned and leaned back to study his face. “Are you asking me to do that?”

  “I’m asking if you have considered it.”

  “I will admit that I’ve been toying with the idea, but it’s something I would have to give a lot of thought.”

  “Of course. I don’t want to rush you or pressure you into making a decision you’ll regret.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I know that I want to see more of you. I want to be a part of your life.”

  “My life includes church, Brian. Can you accept that?”

  “I’ll try. I can’t promise anything more than that.”

  A small voice in the back of her mind pointed out that he hadn’t mentioned the word love. She ignored it by telling herself that things were happening too fast, for both of them.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lindsey let herself into her apartment a little after ten-thirty that night. She tried to be quiet, but Karen was a light sleeper.

  “Lindsey, is that you?” she asked from the sofa.

  “Yes, I’m home. Go back to sleep.”

  “I will, but I’m supposed to give you a message. Dad wants you to call him.”

  “Tonight?”

  Karen sat up and stretched. “He said whenever you got home. You know how he likes to watch the late shows. He’ll be up.”

  “Did he say what he wanted? Is something wrong?”

  “I don’t think so. I got the feeling he wanted to discuss your next duty station.”

  “Great. After years of ignoring me, he suddenly wants to pick my career moves.” She tossed her purse on the overstuffed chair in the corner and hung her coat in the closet.