Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3)

by Laura Jo Phillips

  “I suppose we missed it,” Landor said.

  “Don’t feel bad,” Rayne said to Landor. “I didn’t know about this either and it’s my body.”

  “I’m sorry, Rayne,” Garen said. “It never occurred to us to tell you since your health was never at issue.”

  “It’s all right, Ata,” Rayne whispered tiredly. “I’m just happy to know about it now since seeing my own skeleton when I look in the mirror really freaks me out.”

  “I would imagine so,” Lariah said softly.

  “I’ll go get the Tigrens,” Trey said, standing up and walking to the side of the bed. He bent down and wrapped his arms around Rayne, taking care not to hug her too tightly. “I love you so much, Rayne, and I could not be more proud of you.”

  “Thank you, Dede, I love you, too,” Rayne replied, tears stinging her eyes. Trey kissed her forehead, released her and straightened up. Then he stepped sideways, and vanished before his own tears could fall.

  ***

  “Now that all the men are gone, how do you feel, really?” Lariah asked while she helped Rayne rearrange the pillows behind her so she could sit up after the Tigrens left.

  “Tired, but otherwise much better than I did before the healing,” Rayne said. “It’s really nice to have a voice again.”

  Lariah smiled and reached for the hair wand. “It’ll only take a few more minutes to finish this. When I’m done, I’ll leave this with you so you can use it again if you decide to restore your hair to what it was.”

  “How do I return my hair its natural color?”

  “Just set the dials to Natural,” Lariah said. “Now, tell me about the Bearen-Hirus, please.”

  Rayne’s eyebrows rose. “What do you want to know?”

  “Let’s start with how long you’ve known that you’re their berezi?”

  “A couple of hours.”

  Lariah bent to look into her daughter’s eyes, then frowned. “What have they done to upset you?”

  “Nothing,” Rayne replied. “Why do you ask that?”

  “Because you, my lovely daughter, have dreamed of finding your Rami since you were old enough to know what the word meant,” Lariah said, returning to her task. “That, and having lots of children of your own. I’d have thought it would make you the happiest young woman in the Thousand Worlds to find them, no matter the circumstances. But you’re not happy at all, and that worries me a great deal.”

  “I don’t know, Mom,” Rayne said. “It’s just…when I finally realized they were treating me a little like the Dads treat you, I asked them if I was their berezi. When they admitted that they were it made me sad, and I can’t figure out why.”

  “They didn’t tell you until after you asked them?” Lariah asked, hiding her displeasure.

  “They said that with everything else I was dealing with, they didn’t want to add to it.”

  “Well, that makes sense,” Lariah conceded. She ran the hair wand slowly over Rayne’s scalp twice before giving in to the urge to ask the question burning in her mind. “You said they admitted that you were their berezi. Does that mean they aren’t happy about it?”

  “We haven’t really talked about it yet,” Rayne hedged.

  “And you don’t know why you’re sad?”

  “No,” she replied, then looked up at her mother with hope in her eyes. “Do you know if something happened between me and them?”

  “I thought you had all of your memories up to the night before Tani’s wedding,” Lariah said, frowning.

  “I think I do,” Rayne said, “but how would I know if I don’t?”

  “Good point,” Lariah replied.

  “So, is there anything you can think of? Any incident at all?”

  Lariah took a few moments to think about her answer, knowing how important it was. “I’m sorry, honey, but I can’t think of anything. What do you remember about them?”

  “Not very much,” Rayne said. “The last time I remember seeing them I was about fourteen years old. They were always quiet and reserved, but they were also kind and seemed to really enjoy being around kids. We never knew them all that well, but I don’t remember anything negative about them.”

  “You don’t remember being at Tani’s wedding, or anything else about yesterday at all?”

  “No, nothing.”

  “Maybe something happened yesterday that you haven’t remembered yet.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Rayne,” Lariah said, sitting down again so she could look into her daughter’s face. “Everything else aside, the Bearen-Hirus are your Rami, and they are good men. If I didn’t believe that, if your fathers didn’t believe that, and if we didn’t know that this is your destiny, not ours, we would never stand aside and let you make this journey without us. But, if you want us to remain with you, then all you have to do is say so and we will.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” Rayne said. “I appreciate that more than I can say. But no, I don’t want you to come. For one thing, your absence would raise too much curiosity and suspicion. For another, I don’t know where this is going to lead me, but as you said, it’s my destiny. Mine, and the Bearen-Hirus’.”

  Lariah nodded, then leaned forward to hug Rayne tightly. After releasing her she turned the hair wand off and set it on the bedside table. “I think you need to ask the Bearen-Hirus if something happened yesterday that could account for your feelings.”

  “Yes, I think you’re right,” Rayne said with a sigh. “But maybe not today.”

  “I agree, today has been busy enough for you. I think the best thing you can do right now is lay down and rest.”

  “That sounds really good,” Rayne said. “Thank you Mom, for everything. I wish we could spend more time together.”

  Lariah heard Rayne’s unspoken words, and understood her fears. She sat back and, ignoring her daughter’s too thin body, the scars, and the pale complexion, she stared into her eyes. After a few moments she smiled. “You are so strong, Rayne. Far stronger than you know. Whatever it is you have yet to face, you’ll face it with courage and dignity. I know this.”

  “How?” Rayne asked curiously.

  “I see it in your soul,” Lariah said, brushing back a lock of straight brown hair. “All you have to do is continue to believe in yourself. It’s gotten you this far.”

  “I suppose,” Rayne said doubtfully. “I just wish I could remember it.”

  “You don’t remember learning to walk, but what difference does that make? You can still do it.”

  Lariah’s heart lightened when Rayne grinned at her. “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you too, so very much,” Lariah said, hugging her again. “Rest now, and try not to worry. All will be well.”

  ***

  “How is she, Kyerion?” Landor asked when the Tigrens joined them in an empty guest room a few doors down from the master suite.

  “She’s better,” Kyerion said, his calm voice belying the signs of strain around his mouth and eyes. Kirk and Cade bore the same marks of stress and exhaustion, which immediately cranked up the Bearen-Hirus’ worry.

  “Relax, please,” Kyerion said, holding up one hand when he sensed their distress. “Rayne truly is better.”

  “Is she alone?” Con asked, already moving toward the door.

  “No. Princess Lariah is with her.” Con nodded and sat back down. “I apologize for allowing our own feelings to show so clearly, but it was a difficult session for us,” Kyerion continued.” I cannot imagine what it must be like for the three of you to see your berezi in such a state, but Rayne Dracon is much tougher than she appears.”

  “So we are learning,” Landor said. “Can you tell us what you found?”

  “Yes, but it would be wise for you to prepare yourselves first.”

  “We’ve been taking turns running off our anger and frustration in the Roar Room since last night,” Landor said. “We’ll be fine.”

  Kyerion studied the Bearen-Hirus for a long moment, then nodded his agreement. “The wounds on her body r
ange from healed scars about a year old, to those that appear to be a week old, at most, with the exception of a fresh wound on her forearm. Those you know about.” The Bearen-Hirus nodded. “What you don’t know is that beneath the external scars are corresponding internal scars on her organs, muscles, even her bones in a few places. In several places we found the beginnings of organ death, which we were able to heal completely. Her ovaries are also scarred, which is troubling, but they are fully functional.” Kyerion paused to evaluate the Bearen-Hirus’ emotional state, impressed with how well they were holding up.

  “In addition, her entire body is weak, and all of her muscles are atrophied, indicating a long period of time with very little exercise. We healed and strengthened them as much as possible, and we did the same with her bones, organs, and digestive system. Everywhere we found weakness or damage, we corrected it to the best of our ability. The nose bleeds were caused by a vitamin deficiency combined with episodes of distress and unstable blood pressure, which is easily corrected. Now that she’s fully healed, her biggest problem is her weight, which is severely below her baseline.”

  “Yes, Prince Garen explained that to us,” Landor said in response to Kyerion’s questioning brow.

  “Excellent,” he said. “We’ll return to the Triskele and make some sasuna for her, a drink specifically designed to return her to full strength and health as quickly as possible. We’ll bring over enough to see her back to normal, which should take no more than five to ten days provided our instructions are followed. She’ll need to consume the drink several times a day at regular intervals, and it won’t hurt her to eat as much food as she can also. Do not be alarmed to find that when she’s not eating, she’s sleeping. That’s perfectly normal.”

  “The sasuna will contain whatever she needs to prevent further nosebleeds?” Con asked.

  “Yes, it will,” Kyerion replied. “You shouldn’t have any trouble getting her to drink it. Once her body gets the first or second dose of nutrients, it’ll set up a craving for more. When her craving begins to slow, then stop, you’ll know she no longer needs it. She indicated that she enjoyed chocolate, so we’ll use that to flavor the sasuna to make it more palatable for her.”

  “Thank you, Kyerion,” Landor said. “Is there anything else we should know?”

  “I’m afraid so, yes,” Kyerion said. “It concerns her reaction to pain.”

  Landor frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Have you seen her react to pain?”

  “No, we haven’t,” Landor replied after thinking about it carefully. He looked at Con and Ari, who both nodded their agreement. “However, just between us, she has the ability to shield herself, something we’ve just discovered, but haven’t spoken to her about yet. When her shield is up we cannot feel her true emotions, nor can we scent her.”

  “Don’t worry, Rayne’s secret is safe with us, as is yours,” Kyerion said. “I’m quite glad to know about the shield since it explains why we didn’t sense any pain from her, either.”

  “I don’t understand,” Landor said.

  “We found damage that should have had her in constant pain ranging from mild to severe in several different areas of her body, and yet she displayed very little sign of it. When we asked her about it, she said that she had some discomfort and weakness in certain areas, but no real pain. Even so, we should have sensed, or smelled some level of pain coming from her, but we didn’t. Her shield seems to explain that.”

  “Did they do something to her so that she no longer feels pain as she should?”

  “If they did, we could find no sign of it, and we looked very carefully.”

  “What do you think the problem is, then?”

  “We think she’s become dissociated from pain to what may be a high degree, which isn’t good. Pain tells us when something is wrong with our bodies. Without it, she could become seriously ill or injured and she wouldn’t know until the pain became excruciating, which could be too late. You’re going to need to keep a close eye on her and pay attention to what she says. For example, if she complains of discomfort, or weakness, or dizziness, take it very seriously.”

  “You can’t heal whatever is wrong?” Ari asked.

  “No, I’m afraid not,” Kyerion replied.

  “This isn’t a physical problem,” Kirk said. “There’s no point in trying to talk to her about it, either, since she has no memories yet. When she does remember, you can try discussing it, but go slowly and don’t push too hard.”

  “You believe something traumatic caused this,” Landor guessed.

  “Absolutely,” Kirk nodded. “Try to imagine what it would take for your mind to switch off your ability to see, even though your eyes are perfectly healthy. What horrors must you witness in order to force a self-preservation response that drastic?”

  “I don’t think I want to imagine anything that horrific,” Ari said quietly. “I especially don’t want to imagine Rayne suffering to that degree.”

  “I don’t blame you in the slightest,” Kyerion said. “But for Rayne’s sake, you can’t afford the luxury of hiding from it. She needs you to keep tabs on whatever her body can no longer tell her.”

  “We understand, and we’ll keep a close eye on her,” Landor promised.

  “What about her voice?” Ari asked.

  “To be honest, that also baffles us,” Kyerion admitted.

  “Why?” Landor asked in surprise.

  “Despite all of the physical damage she suffered, we saw plenty of evidence that whoever had her made every effort to keep her alive. And yet her throat, including her vocal cords, has been cut.”

  “Were you able to correct the damage?” Landor asked tightly, trying hard not to put images to Kyerion’s words.

  “Yes, to some extent,” he replied. “It’s an old wound so there’s scarring, which made it impossible for us to restore her voice fully, but she can speak above a whisper now.”

  “I don’t understand any of this,” Con said, appalled by all they’d just heard. Seeing the scars on Rayne’s skin was one thing, but they’d had no idea of what lay beneath them. He almost wished he still didn’t know.

  “Neither do we,” Cade said, speaking for the first time. “Rayne suffered a very great deal, that’s obvious. But the scars on her skin do not represent the worst of her wounds. When her memories come back, she’s going to need you three to be very strong. She won’t have the physical or emotional resources necessary to deal with three mature Klanaren males going into blood rages every time she remembers a bit more of what happened to her.”

  “We can’t promise to never go into a blood rage,” Landor said. “But we can, and do, promise to make every effort not to. Rayne is our berezi, and she comes first in all things.”

  “No more could be asked of any male-set,” Cade said, nodding.

  “If…when…we soul-link with Rayne, it should erase all of the damage done to her body, correct?” Ari asked.

  “Hopefully, yes, though you know as well as we do that there are no guarantees,” Kyerion replied.

  “Of course,” Landor said. Each time a male-set converted their berezi they kept a record of the process so that others might know what to expect. There wasn’t a single unmated male-set who didn’t read each and every report submitted to the ever-growing database. “Kyerion, why do you think there are scars on Rayne’s ovaries?”

  “I believe they’ve harvested her eggs,” Kyerion replied, relieved that Landor had gone back to that subject rather than hide his head in the sand. “Not just once or twice, but many times. As often as they could, is my guess.”

  “This grows worse and worse,” Con growled. “Who are these Doftles, and what were they trying to do?”

  “Two questions that we’d all like answers to,” Kirk replied. “We searched for a way to speed up the return of her memories, but like her pain response, we could find no physical cause for it.”

  “How is she right now?” Ari asked.

  “She’s healed, but tired a
nd weak. She needs time to recover from the healing itself, though we bore as much of the burden as we could. She should sleep for a few hours. By the time she awakens, you will have the sasuna we promised.”

  “Thank you,” Landor said. “We appreciate your efforts to heal Rayne more than we can say.”

  “We’re glad we were able to help her,” Kyerion said as they all stood up. “We understand that you must go alone on this mission to Buhell, and that stealth is vital. We would have you know that, while you’re gone, the Klanaren will not be sitting idle. We will seek out and neutralize whatever spies we can find, and we will do so quietly and carefully so as not to endanger your mission. We’ll also begin preparations for whatever is to come.” Then Kyerion, Cade, and Kirk raised their fists to their hearts in a warrior’s salute. “Silent stalking, Brother Warriors,” Kyerion said as they bowed.

  Landor, Con and Ari returned the salute solemnly. “Silent hunting, Brother Warriors,” Landor replied.

  ***

  Rayne woke up to the sound of her name. She checked her shield almost without thought, relieved to know that it remained in place even while she slept. She knew it was Landor who’d spoken her name by his scent and his voice, and she was not disappointed when she opened her eyes to find him kneeling at the side of the bed.

  “Hi,” she said, her voice soft, but no longer a whisper.

  “Nice voice,” Landor said, smiling.

  She returned his smile before she could stop herself. “What’s going on?”

  “We’ve got your new room ready for you.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “What time is it?”

  “It’s dinner time,” he replied. “The plan is for me to take you to your room where we’ll all have dinner, and then let you sleep for the rest of the night.”

  “Sounds good to me,” she said, pushing the covers back. “I’m starving.”

  “That happens when you sleep through lunch,” he said, sliding his hands beneath her.

  “Maybe I should walk,” she said just as Con entered the room.

  “Not yet,” Landor said, lifting her into his arms. “Tomorrow is soon enough for that, after you’ve had some real food, one or two of the Tigrens’ special drinks, the sasuna, and a good night’s sleep.”