“I certainly see your problem,” Wolef said. “But how will you manage to kill one when, as you just pointed out, you’re weak and they’re strong?”
“I’m going to need a weapon. I’ve got an idea or two about that.”
“Have you ever killed before?”
“No, never.”
“Are you certain that, when the time comes, you’ll be able to do it?”
Even though Rayne had given this question serious consideration already, she took a moment to consider it again because it was a question worthy of careful thought. “Yes, Wolef, I can kill a Doftle without hesitation.”
“If you fail, they’ll hook you up to those machines again, and we’ll lose our chance at freedom.”
“I know, but I don’t see what choice I have. Tomorrow is the last day, right?”
“Yes, that’s right,” Wolef said. “After tomorrow sending you back in time will only land you in the Doftle’s custody.”
“Then it’s this, or nothing,” she said. “I’d rather try and fail than give up.”
“I’d prefer that you try and succeed, but I do see your point.”
“Is there a particular time we should do this?”
“The closer to the time you were abducted, the better.”
“It was at night,” Rayne said, closing her eyes as she tried to remember the image of her wrist device when she sent her transport beacon to the Ugaztun. After a few moments she smiled. “A couple of minutes short of midnight.”
“Very good,” Wolef said. “That means you can wait until after the nightshift begins, when there are far fewer Doftle on duty.”
“Wait, Wolef,” she said, frowning. “It’s highly unlikely that midnight here, on the Facility, is the same as midnight on Garza.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Wolef said. “It’s matching the time in your own mind and body that matters.”
“So if it’s midnight for me here, now, then it’ll be midnight where I end up?”
“Yes, something like that,” Wolef replied. “It’s the same reason I’m sending you back exactly one year in your calendar, a length of time of no particular significance to the galaxy as a whole. How do you feel?”
“I’ve been practicing with my shield so I can keep it up without much effort, and I’ve been walking my cell to build up my stamina. I’m probably going to need a little help from you with that, though.”
“Don’t worry. I’m prepared for that.”
“I suppose the time has come for me to ask you a couple of questions about time-travel.”
“I’d wondered when you’d get around to that.”
“It’s easier for me to take one new scary thing at a time. It helps me to focus on what I need to be doing instead of worrying about whatever’s coming later.”
“I’m sure that in some cultures, to some people, that’s a perfectly sensible way of looking at things.” Rayne sent him an image of her rolling her eyes, which made him chuckle. “What question do you wish to begin with?”
“Since I’m going back in time, there will be two of me in existence at once, correct?”
“Of course.”
“Won’t that cause some sort of…anomaly?”
“You have two identical sisters,” Wolef said dryly. “Does that cause an anomaly?”
“It’s not the same thing and you know it. We’re different people with different minds, souls, and personalities.”
“You got to the crux of the matter even more quickly than I expected,” Wolef said. “Good for you.”
“Thanks, but what do you mean?”
“I mean that, in this case, the number of bodies you have doesn’t matter. Bodies are simple. Aren’t the Nomen clones you spoke of identical to one another?”
“Yes,” Rayne said slowly. “But this is different, isn’t it?”
“Indeed it is. Each body is allotted its own individual soul, even clones. But I’m not going to duplicate you. I’m going to send you back in time which will cause there to be two Rayne Dracons in existence at once. Not you and a copy of you, but two of you.”
“That’s not an easy concept, but I think I understand. What’s the downside?”
“Downside?”
“What’s the thing you haven’t told me yet?”
“Ah, yes, I see what you mean,” Wolef said. “You were granted one soul, Rayne. To my knowledge a soul cannot be duplicated, and there is nothing in the Thousand Worlds or beyond that would ever entice me to try.”
“I’ve got no argument with that,” Rayne said with a shudder. “So what does this mean for me?”
“It means that even though two of you will exist, there will still only be one soul. If I don’t send you back with that soul, an empty shell will arrive in the past and that won’t do at all.”
Rayne took one full turn around her cell while she turned Wolef’s words over in her mind. “You’re telling me that there will be another version of me that remains a prisoner of the Doftle, but it will have no soul.”
“No soul, and no conscious or subconscious mind,” Wolef said. “The very instant that you arrive in the past, the body that the Doftles have in their possession will become an empty shell.”
“When I come back here and destroy the Facility, that body, the empty shell, will be destroyed too, obviously. When that happens, will I die, too?”
“If it did there’d be little point in any of this for you.”
“That’s not an answer, Wolef,” she said. Wolef did not respond, so she took another few minutes to think over everything he’d said. “I know that the future isn’t set. If it was, then sending me to the past wouldn’t change anything. And, even though I’ll try to change what happened the first time, I won’t know what the results will be until they occur, and that includes the question of whether or not I’ll survive.”
“Precisely,” Wolef replied.
“I get it, Wolef. I take this risk with a clear understanding that there are no promises. If I die as a result, then that’s my fate, but at least I’ll have a chance to warn people about the Doftle. That’s enough for me.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that, Solin, because the truth is that I don’t know the answer to your question. The power to fold time is one rarely granted, and even more rarely used. When it is used, a traveler is sent back only to a time before their birth so that there can be no overlapping.”
“Then you don’t really know if this will work, do you?”
“On the contrary,” Wolef said. “I know with certainty that it will work. What I do not know is what will happen to you when the body of your past self is destroyed.”
“How do you know…,” she trailed off as the answer to her question came to her. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”
“Yes, I have,” Wolef admitted. “On three different occasions. I made the same deal with them that I’ve made with you.”
“And yet, you’re still here,” she said slowly. “Did they all break their promises to you?”
“Perhaps,” Wolef said. “It’s possible that they didn’t survive long enough to return and keep their end of our deal, or even that they tried, but failed to find their way back. Who can say?”
Rayne shook her head, not buying that for a moment. “You know,” she said.
“Yes, I do,” Wolef agreed with a chuckle. “One intended to return, but the Doftle’s experiments had caused too much damage to his body, and he perished before he was able to fulfill his end of our bargain. The other two never tried.”
“It’s a wonder you’d trust anyone again.”
“For a couple of hundred years I didn’t,” Wolef said. “But I trust you, Rayne Dracon. You will not break your word. If I never see you again, I will know that it’s because you didn’t live to find your way back, or that you couldn’t find the Facility.”
“Thank you, Wolef. It means a lot to me that you trust me that much. I won’t let you down, either. If I have to spend whatever remains of my life searching for you
, that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
“I know that you will,” Wolef said. “I also know that I should tell you to quit looking if you don’t find me within a reasonable period of time. Apparently I’m more selfish than I thought because I can’t bring myself to do it.”
“It wouldn’t matter if you did,” Rayne said. “As I said before, I will keep my promise, or die trying. I’m curious though.”
“About?”
“About why you haven’t used your ability to fold time to send yourself back so that you can escape the Doftle.”
“One who holds the power to fold time cannot perform that magic upon themselves,” Wolef said.
“Why not?”
“It would be like standing in two places at once,” Wolef said. “If I’m the one being sent back, how can I perform the magic at the same time?”
“I wouldn’t know since I can’t do magic,” Rayne said. “If I could, I would take you away from this place with me.”
“I appreciate your desire to see me free, Solin,” Wolef said after a short silence. “It touches me.”
“But?”
“But freedom has a different meaning for me than it does for you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“My soul is trapped, Rayne. Trapped in a body that exists only because the Doftle will not allow it to do otherwise. A machine makes my heart beat and my blood flow. Air is forced into my lungs. Nutrients are pumped into my stomach. My body exists, but it does not live, and it never will again, but I cannot escape it. I will be free only when it’s destroyed.”
Chapter 11
The next couple of days passed uneventfully on the Armadura. The only time Rayne used her shield was when she left her room alone to use the treadmill in the mornings, and that only because she’d promised her men that she would. She had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the Bearen-Hirus, during which they enjoyed long, comfortable conversations about whatever came to mind. She discovered that they had a dry sense of humor that, surprisingly, complimented her own quirky humor perfectly, and that their dreams of family and children were the same as her own.
After dinner each evening they took her for long slow walks through the ship, showing her everything from the bridge to the flight decks. She discovered more about who the Bearen-Hirus were as individuals, and the more she got to know them, the happier she became. The rest of the time she slept.
There were several light kisses, usually before she went to bed, but they were careful to keep things from growing hot and passionate again. She understood that it was important to them to wait until she got stronger, and she accepted that since when she wasn’t with them or eating, she was sleeping anyway. She also understood how much more difficult it would be for all of them if they didn’t keep a little distance between each other. What mattered most to her was that she’d begun to think of them as her men, and she had no doubt that they wanted her as much as she wanted them. It was enough.
She drank the sasuna every day as prescribed and was stunned by the results after just a few days. She was still too thin, but her body was filling out, her muscle tone was improved, and her color was returning. She had a little way to go yet before she was back to normal, but she no longer doubted that she’d get there.
She’d been sad when Landor and Con had told her that Pip had a Controller, but at the same time it relieved her worry on that subject. It was unfortunate that they hadn’t been able to learn much from it, but at least they’d been able to order it to deactivate the suicide protocols.
As she’d expected, Pip had been devastated to learn he had a Controller. Since he didn’t completely trust that it would remain inactive, he’d confined himself to his quarters and asked that guards be posted outside his door, just to be safe. He communicated with his medical staff through Blake and the vid-terminal, and refused to let anyone visit him except for Landor, Con, and Ari for fear that the Controller might use him to harm someone.
The bulk of her memories seemed to be returning in chronological order which was beginning to frustrate her since her newly surfaced recollections were of experiment after experiment being performed on her while she was helpless to do anything but scream in silence. She saw no reason to upset Landor, Con, and Ari with the details, so she glossed over them, saying only that the Doftle had done a lot of experiments. She was relieved that they didn’t try to press her, and happy that they trusted her to tell them anything they needed to know. She just hoped that she’d get past this phase of her captivity soon so she could remember something helpful.
On the day they reached Onddo she woke up feeling completely rested for the first time since her return. She also had a new memory that did not include an experiment, but she wanted time to think about it before she shared it because it made so little sense to her. She drank her morning sasuna, took her walk on the treadmill, then showered and dressed before meeting the guys for breakfast, following their newly established routine. Seeing that she was preoccupied, they spoke quietly among themselves throughout the meal.
“Thanks, guys,” she said when they got up to leave.
“You’re welcome,” Landor said. “What are you thanking us for?”
“For being so patient,” she said. “I love how you always give me time to think about things without pushing or rushing me, even though I know your curiosity must be about killing you.”
“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it’s killing us,” Landor said, opening the cafeteria door and waiting for her to step through.
“I would,” Con said with a deep scowl. Rayne laughed at him, then went up on her toes to give him a quick kiss. He had to bend down so she could reach him, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“That’s not fair,” Landor grumbled. “Why does he get a kiss when I was clearly much nicer?” Rayne rolled her eyes, then kissed Landor and Ari.
“Now, if everyone’s happy for the moment, I have a question,” she said.
“Certainly,” Landor said. “What is it?”
“I seem to remember you telling me that you had a piano onboard. Was that a dream, or do you really have one?”
“It wasn’t a dream, and we do really have one,” Landor replied, turning to walk up the corridor with her at his side and Con and Ari behind them. “Would you like to play?”
“Yes, I would,” she replied. “I’ve had this bit of music playing over and over in my mind since I woke up, but I couldn’t remember at first where it came from. It was familiar, but not. Do you know what I mean?”
“Sort of,” Ari said, pressing the elevator call button. “Did you remember where it was from?”
“Yes,” she said quietly as they entered the elevator. Landor felt her worry even though she did a good job of hiding it even without her shield.
“We’re all right, Kisu,” he reassured her.
She looked into his eyes for a long moment, then nodded. “I kept thinking that I’d get past the memories of the experiments and remember more important things. Well, I did remember more, at least. But what I remembered is that I was kept immobile and connected to those machines for eleven months.”
“Eleven months,” Con said softly, shaking his head as they all stepped out of the elevator, then paused in a small group to continue their conversation. “Were you conscious the entire time?”
“Yes,” she said simply, and left it at that.
“How did you keep your sanity?” Ari asked.
“That’s where the music comes in,” she said. “I wrote a full concerto.”
“You wrote music in your mind and memorized it?” Ari asked. “An entire concerto?”
“That was part of the challenge I set for myself. To write it, and remember every note. Unfortunately, I only remember a small bit right now, but I’m hoping that if I play it, that the rest will come back to me.”
“If it doesn’t, it still served its purpose in keeping you sane,” Con said.
“Yes, it did,” she agreed. “I recall thinking it was pretty go
od though, so I’d really like to remember it. Do you have something I can use to record what I play? Just so I don’t forget again before I get a chance to write it down.”
“Knowing that you enjoy composing, we’ve had a full recording system installed, including a program that will convert whatever you play into written format,” Landor said.
“You guys really went all out,” she said, smiling up at him. “Thank you so much.”
“It was our pleasure, Kisu,” Landor said, turning her gently with a light touch of his fingers, then guiding her up the corridor. He stopped just a couple of doors away from the master suite to let Ari unlock the door and open it.
“Oh my,” she whispered as she entered the room. The history of keyboard instruments, particularly the piano, had been a hobby of hers since she was a child, and she knew immediately that the full sized grand piano in the center of the room was something special. The deep blue lacquer finish gleamed in the soft overhead lights as she walked all the way around it, inspecting each detail, shocked by the slow realization of what she was looking at. When she returned to the front of the piano and raised the fall to confirm her suspicion, she gasped aloud and stepped back, almost afraid to touch it further.
“This isn’t a copy,” she said. “This is an original Steinway Starshine circa 2200, Earth. If I remember correctly, there were only twenty five of this particular design made, and fewer than half of those are still in existence today. The inlaid stars are rhodium with diamond accents and the keys are hand carved…where did you find this?”
“You like it?” Ari asked, grinning at the expression of wonder on her face.
“Like it?” she asked. “I’m in awe of it. I’m not sure I’d have the nerve to play it though. This instrument deserves a gifted pianist, which I’m not. I only play well enough to write music for gifted pianists.”
“It would be a shame if you didn’t play it since it belongs to you,” Landor said.
“Me?” she squeaked.
“Of course,” he replied, smiling down at her as Ari and Con chuckled. Her reaction was all they’d hoped for, and more. “We certainly don’t know how to play.”
Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) Page 17