by Emma Hamm
“Doctor?”
“I believe every ship should have one, although most aren’t willing to pay them. Now why do you say a merrow curses a ship?”
“Faeries are bad luck. Besides, merrows make deals with men and then drown them.”
“I don’t know about that,” Manus replied. He leaned against the railing and looked the boy up and down. “Merrows have always been kind in my experience.”
“You’ve met one?”
“Several. I was one of the unlucky men to meet their husbands too.” He made a face. “They were the ugliest creatures known to mankind. So, if the merrows are dragging men to the bottom of the ocean, I suspect they wish to marry them instead of their own kind.”
The boy stuck out a hand. “Alroy. That’s my name.”
“Manus.” They shook hands as men did, firm and strong. Manus ignored the boy’s wince and nodded to the merrow. “Faeries aren’t good or bad. They’re a little a bit of both. Merrows keep watch over the seas, to make certain no unsuspecting human stumbles into the Otherworld.”
“What if we want to?”
“Why would you? The Otherworld is a dangerous place for humans. Faeries aren’t particularly kind to us.”
Alroy brandished his fists. “I could take ‘em. They wouldn’t know what hit ‘em!”
He mimed punching, throwing out his arms in wild directions. The boy wouldn’t stand a chance if a faerie decided he was worth their attentions. Manus suspected it was more likely they would ignore the boy entirely.
“Have you ever heard of the man who married a merrow?”
Alroy frowned. “No. Why would anyone do that?”
“Well, merrows can find gold wherever they are. Shipwrecks, lost jewels, even ancient tombs all buried underneath the ocean. They bring it up for their husbands and let them live a life of happiness.”
“Gold ain’t worth all that.”
“No?”
“People should marry who they want. They shouldn’t be forced into it because they want money.” Alroy scuffed his bare feet on the deck. “Besides, who would want to be married to a fish anyways?”
“They aren’t always fish,” Manus said with a chuckle. “But I see your point. In the old stories, the man was always in love with the merrow. She promised to live on land with him as long as he was faithful, and in return, she would give him a son.
“He was good and true. There came a day when he had to travel to market. When he returned, his merrow wife was gone. The boy remained but there was no sign she ever existed.”
“Why?” Alroy asked. “Why would she leave without letting him know why?”
“Legend has it the sea calls to them. They desire it so badly, they have to go.” Manus stared out at the sea, a troubled worry settling in the pit of his stomach.
Would she leave? He doubted it. Saoirse loved him more than life itself, so it seemed. She wouldn’t leave him because he had followed his dreams. Of anyone, she would understand the call of the sea.
Alroy tugged his sleeve. “What happened then?”
“Hm?”
“In the story, captain. What happened to the man and the merrow? Did she ever come back?”
“Oh.” He squinted his eyes, trying to remember the story his mother had whispered to him at night. “Aye, they found each other. Ten years later, when their boy was all grown up, they rowed out towards their ship. The merrow woman appeared. She said she had come for her husband now that their son could take care of himself.”
Alroy shivered. “What did she do?”
“Nothing. Her husband reached into the water and let her drag him down into the deep.”
Alroy raced away. He shouted the story for others to hear, exclaiming that the merrows would certainly find them and drag them into the depths.
It was a fanciful tale. Manus hadn’t believed it when he was a boy, and he wasn’t about to believe it now.
Still… It had merit.
He reached into the breast pocket of his jacket and pulled out a tiny glass merrow. The likeness to his wife was uncanny. Light reflected on her smiling face, catching the sadness of her eyes. She clutched a seashell in her hands and stared at him as if he had placed her in a cage.
Carefully, Manus folded her in his grasp as he stared at the rolling waves.
Saoirse knelt on an embroidered pillow in the small grotto where they had hidden the glass merrow. Vines framed the cave wall and the quiet rush of the sea echoed throughout. Light reflected the waves on the ceiling, creating a pattern that eased her mind and terrified her at the same time.
She pressed her hands to her chest and breathed out a quiet sigh. “What am I to do?”
Memories faded every day. Important memories that made her who she was. Memories that created the woman Saoirse knew. As they faded, she became confused, complicit, quiet. No one knew what was happening to their mistress.
Declan remained to take care of her. He carried her to bed and pressed cold compresses to her forehead each night. He was tireless in his desire to keep her alive.
But they both knew each day Manus was gone, the more dire her situation grew.
Why hadn’t she thought of this? She might have told him, explained to him all that could happen if he didn’t bring her with him.
It hadn’t felt right. She would have ruined all the good they had built between the two of them. And he would feel trapped. Saoirse could already see the disappointed expression on his face when she told him they could never go to sea again.
No, it was better this way. She would survive until he returned. Only a few more months.
She pressed a hand to the bulge of her belly. Even Declan didn’t know this small secret growing inside her.
“We’re going to be okay,” she whispered. “You and I will survive this.”
“Are you so certain of that?” Declan asked from behind her.
“You are supposed to be in the main house. The servants will gossip about where we are.”
“They already think you’re having an affair. You’ve heard their whispers just as I have.” He settled next to her on the stone floor. “It’s not the end of the world if they talk.”
“It would be if Manus hears tell of it.”
“In the Indies?” He snorted. “He isn’t going to hear anything on the other side of the world.”
“Don’t be cruel.”
“You’re killing yourself staying here, Saoirse. You know if you return to the sea that you’ll have a little more time.”
“I can do this.”
“For me.” Declan reached forward and took her hands. “Do it for me, Saoirse. I’ll stay behind, make your excuses, even let your husband know what happened. I cannot stay here and watch you die.”
A tentative smile spread across her lips and a bubble of familiar mirth burst in her chest. “Why Declan, that almost sounds as if you like me.”
“I’m fond of you. We’re in the same situation, you and I, cursed to live on human lands.” He squeezed her fingers. “But you can go home. You can live out the rest of your life with your own people, in your own skin, without hiding who you truly are.”
“And what will I give up by doing that?” she whispered. “I want to see him one last time.”
“He took that from you the moment he set sail from these shores. He won’t be back in time, Saoirse. I want to see that babe grow into a beautiful young woman like yourself.” He winked. “Maybe she’ll be interested in a handsome leprechaun.”
Saoirse snorted. “She’ll be interested in whomever she wishes. Thousands of men will desire her hand, and she will pick whichever one she desires the most.”
“I hope, for your sake, that you are correct.”
She stared at the glass merrow and weighed her options.
Manus would return, eventually. There was no way for them to guess how long that might take. Ships traveled as fast as the wind and sea would let them. But it was unlikely he would return for at least another few months, or worse, a year if the
y were held up in the city where they would trade.
She would drift away until there was nothing left of her at all. Her mind would fracture, her body weaken, and eventually she would answer the pulsating call of the sea. It wanted her to return. It sang for her, the guardians calling for her day and night.
One way or another, she would go home.
Saoirse shook her head, a small sobbing breath puffing between her lips. “I want to be here for him. I want to stay until he returns.”
Her eyes burned with the pressure of trying to keep tears from rolling down her cheeks. Declan’s expression crumpled in pity.
“I know,” he replied. “I know you want to stay here for him, but is there really any other choice?”
There wasn’t. He knew that, just as Saoirse knew she was fighting a losing battle. It didn’t make it any easier to admit defeat.
She dropped her head and slowly nodded. “What will you tell the servants?”
“That it looked like a rogue wave crashed through the grotto, taking you out to sea before I could grab you. It’s close enough to the truth that it’s not quite a lie. The waves took you out to sea before I could drag you back.” He flashed a grin. “I’m not a faerie who likes to swim.”
“Will they believe that?”
“I’ve enough magic left in me. They won’t have a choice.” A gold coin flashed between his thumb and forefinger. “It’s a believable story. They’ve never seen you in water before, and with all those skirts it’s unlikely even a strong swimmer would survive.”
“And Manus?”
The coin disappeared under a clenched fist. “He’ll know what happened.”
“You’ll tell him the truth?” When Declan didn’t respond, she pressed with a firm tone, “Declan, you’ll tell him the truth.”
“He doesn’t deserve the whole truth. It would be less painful for everyone if you let him believe the same story as everyone else.”
“I won’t go knowing he thinks I willingly left.”
“You’re making the choice.”
“I know, Declan. I’m doing my best to keep myself together, but I will not allow him to think I don’t still love him.” She shook her head. “Please, Declan. Please don’t take that away from us.”
He growled, his glamour slipping to reveal golden skin that glittered in the dim light. Sharp teeth gnashed, but he gave in. “Understood. He’ll know the truth. But you understand he’ll come after you?”
“It’s the only hope I have left. Manus wouldn’t let me go without a fight. And if, by some chance, I’m still alive? Then I hope with all my heart he finds me.”
She stood, her bones creaking and her head spinning with the effort. Even her physical form hurt now that he had been gone for so many months.
Was this what the bean sídhe had warned her about? That tying herself to a human would slowly eat away at her until there was nothing left?
Saoirse hoped she never had to find out.
Piece by piece, she unwove the layers of clothing her maids had placed on her this morning. Even living with humans this long had not made her self-conscious about her body. Nudity was a normal part of life for faeries. It was humans who were wrong in their shame.
Declan solemnly held each article of clothing until she stood bare as the day she was born. A small pool of water stood behind the glass merrow. It led to the sea through small caverns Manus said he’d played in as a boy. Dangerous pastimes for a human, but he’d had many stories to tell.
A shiver trailed down her spine. Another sign she was weakening by the moment. She had never felt cold in her life.
Until now.
Saoirse reached up and untangled her hair from the winding braids. Pins dropped to the stone floor and echoed in tiny pricks of sound.
“Promise me. Promise me you’ll tell him the truth.”
“I vow it.” Declan’s words rang in her ears and bounced off the walls. It was a binding oath, one he would have to fulfil, or he would follow her to the grave.
Giving him one final nod, she stepped into the water and disappeared beneath the surface.
Declan waited until the final ripple subsided. Only then did he stand and return to the main house to give them ill news.
The Return
The sun rose over the horizon and illuminated the port town of Uí Néill. Manus held onto the mast of the ship, far above his crew. It did not befit a man of his station to be up in the sails, but he couldn’t care less.
He was finally home.
Tilting his head back, he inhaled deeply. The wind brought with it the fresh scent of salt, the acrid sting of fish, and the burn of smoke rising from the chimneys. It was the scent of his people, and he had missed it.
“Captain!” A voice shouted from below.
“Set down the anchors, boys!” A cheer drowned out his next words. “We’re home.”
All he wanted to do was get off this ship and back into the arms of the woman he loved. Time away from Saoirse had put so many things in perspective. She could be safe on the waters with him. The waves never crested a height where he might have worried her brethren could be find her location. And if he dressed her like a man, not even the biggest gossips of the faerie world could tell it was her.
His plan wasn’t ironclad, but it was enough for him to be comfortable bringing her with him on the ship. There were so many plans to be made. She would want to see the world, and he wanted to show it to her.
Manus had never dreamed of having a wife who would share his love of travel. He had thought it would be hours of arguing, angry fights, lashing words as he went off to sea. It was why he hadn’t told her in the first place.
But now he was certain she could come with him. And she would, because Saoirse would do anything for him.
They settled the ship to her bed, laid to rest until the next journey. The men were happy with their share. Manus was generous with their cut. He already had a fortune and knew where to find more if need be. They could keep most of the spoils.
They laughed as they set the boats to the water and tightened the last ropes on the Freedom. Manus patted the railing one last time, in thanks for the safe travels and in hopes for many more journeys to come.
His first mate waited for him in the last of the boats. Together, they watched the line of sailors laughing as they made it to the docks.
“It was a successful maiden voyage,” Manus mused.
“To many more.”
“Aye.”
They stepped into the boat. Manus held himself still. It wouldn’t do to show how excited he was to return. Too many sailors believed in superstitions, and a captain who preferred land to sea was a bad omen.
But he very much wanted to see his wife.
“Do you have anyone waiting for you?” he asked the first mate.
“Not particularly, captain. A few ladies in a brothel nearby, and I haven't given much thought to settling down. Do you?”
“I have the prettiest wife in the lands. My personal good luck charm.”
“Your fortunes are great then. Few captains have a happy wife waiting for them upon their return.”
He chuckled. “I can’t say she’ll be happy. I slipped out without telling her.”
“She might not even recognize you.” His first mate pointed to his beard. “You look more beast than man.”
Their laughter echoed over the open waters and neither stopped until they reached the docks. Manus stepped out last, taking his first mate’s offered hand and leaping onto the worn wood.
“It was an incredible journey, captain. I look forward to many more with you.”
“Rest assured, I’ll want you by my side on the next adventure.”
They parted ways, and Manus made his way through the streets of his childhood. Dirty children raced by, screaming fishwives shook their fists, the tang of fish blood filled the air, and it was all endearing in a strange way.
It had been far too long since he’d wandered these streets. Although a part of him
wanted to continue wandering, he also knew someone had likely seen the ship on the horizon. He’d need to rent a horse and get back to the house as soon as possible.
“My lord?” A small voice asked.
He looked down to see a boy, no older than ten, holding out his hand for a coin. “My pa said someone would need a horse from that ship. Be you willing to take this one?”
It was an ancient animal, but it would do. Nodding, he dropped a few gold coins into the child’s palm and savored the look of awe.
“I’ll take the horse for good. Tell your pa to buy a much better one for his plow.”
“Aye, my lord. That’ll do.”
The boy ran off, little legs pumping to bring the good news to his father. Or to spend the money. Either way, it wasn’t Manus’s duty to figure out what the child would do.
He mounted the horse and set off at a decent canter. The old nag wouldn’t survive a full gallop towards the manor. He didn’t mind though; the surrounding landscape was beautiful and the land solid beneath his feet. What more could a man ask for?
Manus thought of his wife and couldn’t stop the smile drifting across his face. Saoirse would be so pleased to see him. Even though he had been gone for a long time, there was a part of him that never stopped thinking about her.
Surely she would have felt that? He laid awake at night, staring up at the stars, knowing she was out there looking at the sky as well. He could almost feel her love from leagues away.
The manor appeared ahead of him, the path worn by the feet of thousands who had ridden past it. As a child, he’d marveled at the people who lived within those four walls. Now, those people were Manus and Saoirse. He intended to fill the house with many more family members soon.
The thought spurred him on. Children, he wanted children. Like the child on the ship, a boy who would ride the seas with him. A daughter, whose dark hair and eyes would solemnly watch the waves for faeries.
He rode into the courtyard like a bean sídhe on the wind. The horse foamed at the mouth but galloped upon the stone right to the front door. The butler rushed out and waved his hand.
“My lord! You’ve returned!”