by Harmon, AJ
Katy didn't move.
"So why don't you tell me about what happened."
It had been almost three weeks, and with the exception of having to answer Sarah's questions at the DA's office, she had tried to put the ordeal out of her mind. And now that there were no more yellow rooms in her house, she felt much more comfortable there. She was almost able to pretend she was the old Katy. She slowly lifted her head to see the doctor watching her.
"Janie had moved a couple of months before. She’s my best friend. We've known each other since we were teenagers and are more like sisters I guess. I don't have any sisters so she is my family. I met Danny a few years ago at Janie and Robert's. Danny lived next door to them. Robert was her husband but he died," Katy explained.
Dr. LaVaughn nodded and Katy continued.
"So Janie sold the house a couple of months ago and she’d met Matt and they got married a few days ago. But she was going back and forth to New York, because that's where Matt lives, and Danny called me to say the new owners of Janie's house had found a box of Robert's stuff in the garage."
There was a pained expression on Katy's face as she recalled the phone call from Danny.
"I don’t even know how he got my number. Although I didn’t even think about that ‘til, well, until after. I figured Janie would want the box, at least so she could go through it to make sure there wasn't anything in there that she’d want to keep, so I said I’d go pick it up on my way to work."
Katy recalled the conversation as best as she could, giving the doctor what she wanted to hear, but there was no emotion in her voice.
"So you pulled up at his house and went to the door?"
"Yep." Katy stood up and stepped to the window, her arms wrapping around her body.
"And he used pepper spray on you?"
"Yeah, but you know what?" Katy turned back to the doctor, anger on her face. "I have taken a dozen self-defense courses. I stopped a kid from grabbing my purse at the mall. I work out five days a week. I am not a wuss. I am not a victim. But he sprays pepper spray in my face and the next thing I know I'm gagged and tied to a bed?" She was seething; her teeth gritted and fire in her eyes. "I should have done something," she whispered.
"Katy, this is NOT your fault. You are alive and that's the most important thing. You did what you did in order to stay alive, Katy. You are incredibly brave and courageous. And Danny is going to go to prison for a long time."
Katy relaxed the grip she had on her arms and looked back out the window.
"I don't see how re-hashing it is going to help me," she said.
"You need to work through the feelings and emotions and get them out. Keeping them buried is only going to hurt you. It might feel better right now, but in the long-term, it won't be."
*****
Katy thought about the doctor's words on her drive home. She didn't want to think about those thirty hours, but she also knew that drinking it away every night wasn't going to help either. If only she could go back to work and back to her old life. Her co-workers had donated their sick time to her benefits bank and she had received several weeks of paid time off. She appreciated the gesture, she really did, but was it helping her? Being alone with her thoughts day after day?
She pulled into her driveway and turned off the car. Maybe I should paint the outside of the house too.
Walking to the front door she looked at the dismal state of the flower beds. Janie's flowers would never look like this, she thought. No, Janie's would be lush and beautiful.
Her friend had lost her husband to cancer a couple of years ago and it had been devastating for her, but Katy couldn't help but be a tiny bit envious of her. Janie had met a delicious guy on the way to New York and had ended up marrying him just a couple of weeks ago. Honeymooning in Hawaii and a spacious apartment in lower Manhattan with the dreamy Matt Lathem was her future. Janie deserved it all. NO doubt there. She was the best person Katy knew, but Katy had wondered on more than one occasion when it would be her turn to deserve the happy ending. Maybe I don't.
*****
Mark parked his rental car in Katy's driveway behind her Subaru. Feeling hesitant about his impromptu trip to Portland, he walked to the door and rang the doorbell. After a minute or so he rang it again. And after another minute he walked around the side of the house to the gate and into the backyard.
He saw her on the deck, dressed in lycra shorts and a sports bra doing yoga. Her long blonde hair was in a ponytail and her body was contorted into something Mark thought was impossible. He sighed with relief knowing she was safe. He took a few steps towards her and said hello. Katy's head whipped up and she fell with a hard thump on the wood.
"Shit! You scared the crap out of me!" she growled as she looked up and recognized the man stepping up the steps towards her.
"Sorry," he grimaced. "I tried the doorbell but you didn't answer."
Katy crossed her legs and remained seated on the deck.
"I was in Portland so I thought I would stop in and...and say hi."
"That's nice of you. But I'm fine Mark. You don't have to worry about me." Katy sort of smiled.
"Well you didn't return any of my calls."
"Mark, I'm gonna let you off the hook, okay?"
"I'm not on any hook," he said.
"I'm sure Janie begged you to keep an eye on me, but I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."
Mark didn't know what to say. She was a grown woman…that was true. But every time he thought of her he saw her tied to a bed, needing to be rescued, and grateful they had found her in time.
"Actually, nobody begged me to keep an eye on you. But I figured if I was in Portland anyway, I could at least take you to dinner or something." Mark tried to lighten the mood.
"Dinner, huh?" Katy was suspicious.
"Just dinner," Mark smiled.
"Okay, I could eat. Let me get changed." Katy jumped up and opened the sliding glass door into the dining room. Mark followed her into the house and immediately noticed the changes.
"You've been painting!"
"Yep, getting rid of the old color." Katy headed down the hall to her bedroom and Mark heard the door shut behind her.
He stepped through to the living room and liked the new pale blue on the walls. It had been yellow and made the room very light and bright. But the blue was good too. He sat on the couch and looked around. She's been busy, he thought. Very busy.
In just a few minutes, Katy emerged ready for dinner. She was a beautiful woman; long blonde hair, big brown eyes, and a body men would love to have underneath them. That thought unnerved him. Danny had wanted her and look what he’d done to get her. Mark looked at the floor and blinked, trying to get rid of the vision of Katy all tied up and totally helpless.
"Ah," he said.
"What?" Katy asked.
"You painted," Mark said, a heaviness in his voice.
"Yeah, I did." Katy tried to hide the pain but Mark could see it.
"His bedroom was yellow," Mark whispered.
"Yeah, it was." Katy's chin quivered and Mark could see her eyes glistening but in that very same instant she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. "So, where are you taking me? Somewhere expensive I hope."
Mark smiled and told her they could go anywhere she wanted.
*****
Mark returned to his hotel room after dropping off Katy at her house. Dinner had been interesting. Katy had talked about her son, Derek. She was obviously very proud of him. Mark had told her about his recent adventure in Arizona. He had gone there on business and an associate had told him about this great bungee jumping place, so he had gone and jumped off a bridge over a massive gorge and enjoyed the thrill of a lifetime.
Katy had told him he was nuts. Working in the ER, she had seen her fair share of preventable injuries and fatalities due to idiot decisions like his. Mark had laughed and kept his other idiotic exploits to himself.
They had enjoyed a nice dinner together and then Mark had driven her hom
e. As he drove back to the hotel he thought about how he would feel about her had they met under different circumstances, had they met when she’d arrived in New York with Janie for the wedding. She was a gorgeous woman and had a great sense of humor. He wished he could see more of it. She was intelligent and opinionated and that made for great conversation in Mark's book. Yes, under different circumstances he may very well have considered dating her. But now it was just too uncomfortable, too much baggage to get through.
Shame, he thought. She might have been the one.
*****
Katy stood in her bathroom getting ready for bed. Only one glass of wine at dinner was a risk. She didn't think it was enough to hold off the visions of Danny from invading her dreams. But she needed to try.
Her dinner with Mark had her thinking about what Dr. LaVaughn had said about dealing with her emotions now so that she could move forward. Mark was a great guy. In fact he was a dream guy; tall, good looking, sexy, smart, articulate, funny, rich, and a gentlemen. Yes, he would be considered her dream guy. She hadn't dated many of those in the seventeen years since her divorce. And here was one right under her nose and it would never ever work.
Just as well I'm not interested, she thought. It will be a long, long time before I even consider thinking about dating again. Men certainly aren’t on my priority list right now.
Katy brushed her teeth and flicked off the bathroom light. She made sure all the windows and doors were locked and the curtains were closed. Climbing into bed she said a little prayer to keep the dreams at bay.
3.
Janie insisted on changing their flight home from their honeymoon in Hawaii to make a stop in Portland. She wanted to see her sons, Adam and Tyler who were back at school and to see her mom, but most of all, she needed to see Katy.
While Matt was at the rental car counter, Janie called Katy to let her know they had arrived safely and they could meet for dinner. Katy said she could meet them at their hotel downtown in a couple of hours.
Mark had phoned Janie after he had seen Katy just a couple of days before. He had told her Katy was doing okay but he was still worried.
“I think she should come back to New York with us,” Janie told Matt on the ride to the hotel.
Matt sighed and shook his head. “I know that I don’t know Katy like you do, but I can assure you that she isn’t going to come back with us. No matter how hard you insist, Katy is not going to agree to that.”
“Well I’m going to ask her. Do you mind?”
Matt took his wife’s hand and kissed her palm. “Of course I don’t mind. But you need to be prepared for her to say no.”
After what was supposed to be a quick shower to freshen up, but turned into something quite the opposite when Matt snuck in behind her, Janie paced the floor of the hotel room waiting to meet Katy.
Finally the clock struck six o’clock and Matt took Janie by the hand and they headed down to the lobby. By 6:15pm, Janie was getting worried and sent a text to Katy, only to have her walk in five minutes later.
Janie ran to her friend and threw her arms around her neck and they hugged each other tightly.
“It’s so good to see you,” Janie smiled.
Katy was equally happy to see her friend.
“You’re late,” Janie said. “I was worried.”
“I’m fine,” Katy said. “Stop worrying about me!”
“I can’t just stop,” Janie replied. “You’re my family. I love you. I worry about you.”
”I’m a big girl, Janie.”
Matt escorted the two women to the restaurant, The Red Star Tavern, located in the hotel.
Katy changed the subject and begged to hear about the three-week honeymoon and Janie offered all the details for her friend. They laughed and looked at pictures on Janie’s phone. By the time the entrée plates were cleared, Matt had said about four words the entire evening. He smiled and drank his glass of wine, totally amused by the two of them.
Finally, as they were eating dessert, Janie broached the subject again and asked Katy how she was really doing. Katy bristled a little, questioning why everyone kept asking how she was doing. Matt told her it was because they all cared about her. Katy apologized.
“I feel like if everyone would stop talking about it, I could move on,” she explained.
“Well maybe you need a change of scenery,” Janie suggested. “I know! Why don’t you come to New York for a little while, with me, with us?”
“Hell, no!” she scoffed. “You two can’t keep your hands off each other here in the restaurant! I do NOT want to be in your apartment where you feel free to grope each other openly!” she laughed.
Janie was shocked until she realized Matt’s arm was around her and his fingers were caressing her arm and her hand was planted firmly on his thigh.
Matt chuckled and Janie smiled.
“I know you’re looking out for me,” Katy said. “I know you want to help and I appreciate that. I really do. But I need to be here and I need to keep seeing my therapist, even though I don’t know if it’s really going to help. But I should at least try. And at some point I want to go back to work. But thank you.”
Katy hugged Janie and hopefully put the idea to rest. Matt paid the bill and Katy said goodbye and left the two newlyweds to go back to their room and do what newlyweds do best.
*****
With Janie satisfied that Katy was doing as well as could be expected under the circumstances, she and Matt flew home two days later after a whirlwind trip to see both her sons and her mother. Once back in New York, she called her new brother-in-law to ask a favor.
“I know you were just there, but isn’t there a reason you need to be back on the west coast again?”
Mark sighed and said he would try to come up with something. He hung up with Janie and then sent a quick text to Katy. ‘Back in Portland next week. Let’s do dinner again.’
“And now we wait,” he frowned.
*****
Katy had finally returned to work! She was thrilled to get back into a daily routine; one that filled most of her day with non-stop activity. After the initial sad glances and pained expressions from her co-workers, everything seemed to just go back to the way it had been before. Katy was still in Same Day Surgery and was thrilled to be doing what she did best.
Her mother had been a nurse. After her dad had walked out on them, Katy’s mom had worked two jobs and went to nursing school. When Katy started high school her mom finally graduated and became a nurse and worked the rest of her life doing what she loved. A car accident had cut her life short but Katy knew that she had really found her calling in the medical profession. So when Katy found herself as a newly divorced single mom, she followed in her mother’s footsteps. She worked two jobs and went back to school with the help of student loans and Janie watching Derek after school. Now, fifteen years later, Katy could say she loved her job and really mean it. It not only paid the bills, but also fulfilled her. She was glad she was one of the few people she knew that actually enjoyed getting up and going to work each day. And when Katy had asked her supervisor for extra shifts to help out with Derek’s tuition at college, she was only too happy to give her what she needed.
As Katy checked on her patients and completed her charts, she felt very lucky to be back. And apparently her joy was obvious.
“What are you grinning at?” Ted asked her as he was grabbing a new saline bag.
“Am I grinning?” asked Katy.
“Yeah, you are.”
“I’m just glad to finally be working again. I didn’t think they were ever going to let me come back.”
Ted tilted his head and looked at his friend. He had known Katy ever since he started working as a nurse a couple of years ago. He had bought Janie’s truck when she had decided to sell it, and he’d had a crush on Katy since the day he met her.
“Oh shucks,” he smiled. “I was hoping you were thinking about me!”
Katy laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “
If only you were ten years older.”
“I don’t mind older women,” he grinned. “I’m sure there are a few things you could teach me.”
Katy laughed and headed back to check on her patients. Yes, it’s good to be back at work.
*****
Dr. LaVaughn looked over the file in her hand. Katy was talking about her son and it was obvious that he was her pride and joy.
“I may not have done many things in my life right, but Derek I can be proud of.”
“What do you think you haven’t done right?”
“Well my marriage for one!” Katy sneered. “That was a HUGE mistake. But, I got Derek out of it so I guess it was all worth it.”
“Why was it a mistake?”
“Where do I start?” Katy laughed. “Everything was wrong from day one. And my mom tried to tell me but I wouldn’t listen to her. I thought I knew better.”
She walked to the window and looked out over the river. “Brett was a nice enough guy to start with, I guess. I wasn’t in love with him or anything, but I wanted to get married. Actually, I wanted the wedding, not the marriage and I just wanted someone to take care of me. But I didn’t figure that out ‘til later. And he didn’t love me either, but he knew I wouldn’t keep sleeping with him if he didn’t propose. So we got married. We were way too young and we were just stupid. And it wasn’t too bad at first. We did our own thing most of the time and just kind of hooked up at night. It wasn’t until after we were divorced that I realized it was doomed from the beginning. He didn’t want to get an education. He thought working in the produce department of the grocery store was fine. And the thought of having a baby terrified him and when I got pregnant he blamed me for being ‘careless’. Derek wasn’t a year old before Brett starting having affairs and so I threw him out and it’s been just me and Derek ever since.”