“Why are you back in Alabama?” I asked him, trying to focus on anything but the recent turn of events.
He tore open the package and stalked to the fridge to get a bottle of water. “I don't have a job anymore.”
The bite of food in my mouth was suddenly dry and too sweet. I grabbed the bottle of water from his hands and took a swig as he looked on. The cold water washed down my surprise and gave me time to gather my incoherent thoughts.
“What happened to the band?”
“We broke up. It wasn't the direction I wanted to go anymore.”
I nodded in understanding, realizing the rumors I read a few weeks ago were actually true.
“What are you going to do now?”
He shrugged and popped another piece of Pop Tart in his mouth. “Get a real job, I guess. I'm just not sure what I'm good at.” He grabbed another bottled water from the fridge.
I knew of a few things, but I kept my mouth shut since I was still ticked.
“Anyway,” he said as he rounded the corner of the couch and plopped down. “Doesn't look like I'm going to be going anywhere any time soon. It's not supposed to get above freezing until Saturday.”
I did a mental calculation. Today was Tuesday. Four more days...I could do that, couldn't I? I glanced at his careless grin and his teasing eyes.
“Looks like you’re stuck with me.”
I shrugged. “Don't worry, you'll be pulling your weight. If the roads don't open up before then, you'll have to trek through the snow to find us some food. I barely have enough food for me.”
Nicholas flexed his hands and shot me a grin. “Don't worry, I can kill a deer with my bare hands.”
I laughed, a little of the tension slipping from my shoulders.
“You don't believe me?”
I shook my head slowly, a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. “Not really.”
“Well, I guess you'll have to wait and see.”
“If it comes to that,” I reminded him.
I walked over to the front window of my apartment and opened the blinds to look out. My hand flew to my mouth and I gasped at the white world beyond the glass. Nicholas was beside me immediately wanting to know what was wrong.
“Look how beautiful it is outside!” A bubble of excitement settled in my chest. The sun glistened on the snow, making a glittery show of white drifts and icicles. I hadn't seen snow since I was a kid.
“Oooh, let's go outside and build a snowman!” I said, turning to Nicholas and grabbing his arm.
His eyebrows rose and the corner of his mouth kicked up. “Are you serious?”
I nodded my head emphatically.
He didn't say anything immediately, so I gave up on him. “Oh never mind, I'll go out and do it myself.”
He chuckled and turned back to the couch, grabbing his jeans. “I'm from Syracuse, Sophie. I'm not used to snow being such a big deal.”
“It's been fifteen years since we've had snow like this!” I bounded into my room, ignoring the frigid temperature, and pulled on some sweats on top of my pajamas, two pair of socks, boots, and a hat. I ran back into the kitchen and he chuckled at my appearance, but I didn't care.
Nicholas pointed to the counter. “You can wear my gloves if you need some.”
“Oh, wait, I have some!” I ran back into my room and got them. Nicholas had apparently dressed while I had and stood with the door open when I came back into the room. His indulgent grin was one he might have reserved for a child, but I didn't care. Regardless if he was here or not, I would have done this.
“You look...”
“Don't tell me,” I interrupted. “I know it's bad, but I don't care.”
I was about to walk out the front door when his gloved hand caught my arm. His lips kissed the tip of my nose and he smiled. “That's why it's so sexy.”
Ignoring him, I bounded outside into the snow.
Chapter 7
All I registered at first was a cold thunk against the back of my head. It didn't hurt but it was enough to cause me to step forward. I turned just as another snowball careened and hit me square in the gut. I had sense enough to get out of the way after that. I dove behind a parked car, knowing Nicholas wouldn't risk vandalizing it.
Several of the neighborhood kids were out and Nicholas obviously wanted to be the first to start a snowball fight before they could. It wasn't long before I heard the kids squealing and yelling for revenge and forming teams. Still I hid, a slew of balls tucked in the snow securely next to me. Occasionally, I peeped around the edge of the car to make sure Nicholas was still engaged with the kids as I made more.
Finally, Nicholas gained on the car as the other kids drove him away from the main action. There were too many of them. When he was too close, I stood up with one arm loaded and called his name. Out of instinct, he turned just as I put a well-aimed snowball between his eyes. He staggered backward, then burst into hearty laughter. I almost called out for him to watch his step because I knew there was a curb there, but he slipped and his butt found the ground as he sprawled out in the snow, laughing so hard his face turned red.
I was laughing, too, but waited behind the car with my ammunition. He finally sat up and swiped at the corners of his eyes with his thumbs. He glanced around, his gaze narrowing in on me before very long.
“Ahh, you're going to be a chicken and hide out over there, huh?”
I nodded.
“I have to give it to you, Sophie.” He stood up and brushed the snow from his pants. “You're pretty sneaky, biding your time while I was busy.” He prowled toward me like a cat and my heart rate accelerated. This kind of adrenaline, I found, was sort of fun, especially when I knew I had the upper hand.
“I wouldn't come any closer,” I warned. The parking lot was full of children and adults alike, all participating in a huge snowball fight. One sailed through the air and hit the hood of the car I stood behind.
“Oh, I'm coming closer.” The glint of revenge sparkled in his eyes. He continued to stalk my position slowly, crouching, ready to run or duck whichever he had the opportunity to do first.
I bent and picked up a snowball, took aim.
“I'm willing to bet that first one was a lucky shot.”
My lips curled in an I-know-something-you-don't-know smile and my hand rose higher. “Oh yeah?”
“Oh yeah.”
“I was the pitcher for my high school softball team!” I yelled out and hurtled it toward him, hitting him in the middle of the forehead again.
Again, he lost control and started laughing, but not before he lunged at me, sliding across the hood of the car and tackling me in the snow behind us. I was laughing by then, too. So hard in fact, I couldn't breathe.
“Softball pitcher, huh?”
I nodded and tried to catch my breath. I brushed the snow from his forehead and laughed some more.
Nicholas laughed with me and that made it even harder to sober up.
“Why don't we join everyone else in the fight then go back in and grab some lunch. I've got a feeling that snowman you want to build is going to have to wait until tomorrow.”
I sighed dramatically. “Fine,” I conceded. “But tomorrow I fight back if anyone gets between me and my snowman.”
He shook his head at me and stood up, offering his hands. I took them and he tugged me up, planting a simple, chaste kiss on my mouth. I cleared my throat but that didn't distract him from grabbing some of my snowballs and pelting them across the parking lot, hitting a few of the kids and getting giggles out of them.
I couldn't remember the last time I had so much fun.
***
Lunch consisted of grilled cheese and tomato soup, one of my winter favorites. Nicholas and I sat across from each other at my tiny bistro table, eating like it was our first meal in weeks.
“Man, I think I got rid of a lot of stress with that snowball fight.” Nicholas rolled his shoulders.
“What are you stressed about?” I cringed and then shrugged. “So
rry I guess that’s a stupid question.”
“Well, the band for starters. I mean, I didn't give them much of a notice." He took a sip from his glass. "We were in the middle of recording a new CD when I decided I had to get out. There was no way I could tour again so soon after Emily.”
“Why did you want out?”
“Because it lost its appeal for me, ya know?”
I thought a moment about how to help him as I chewed on my sandwich. The sharp cheddar cheese made my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth, giving me ample opportunity to think about what I should say. “Well...why did you go into the business to start with?”
He shot me a cocky I'm-a-rock-star smile. “Do you want the truth or what everybody wants to hear?”
I took a bite of bread. “Both.”
He shoved the last of his sandwich in his mouth and sat back in his seat with a deep breath. He looked down at his plate and fiddled with the edge. His eyes met mine after he swallowed. “Well, I suppose everyone wants to hear that I went into because of how much I loved music and how I wanted to change lives through my songs. The whole bit on how I couldn't imagine ever doing anything else with my life.”
“And the truth?” I sat riveted, watching him talk. His lips moved with grace and I was just now noticing a tiny quirk he did with his bottom lip when he was in between sentences.
“I wanted hot women falling all over me.” He shot me a look that was a cross between chagrin and amusement. “I was in it for the girls. I mean, all that other stuff is true enough. I do love music. I did want to change lives through my songs, but in the beginning it was all about the girls. Before the music, I wanted to be a doctor.”
I studied him. He watched me, obviously waiting for my judgment. “I could see you as a doctor.”
He shook his head and tried to hide his embarrassment with a grin. “Shut up.”
“No,” I protested and placed my elbows on the table. “I really could. But I think you'd have groupies no matter what profession you chose.”
“Is that so?” He placed his arms across his chest and leaned against the table.
I studied him through a narrowed gaze and decided he was mocking me. “Forget it.”
“No, no, no. I want to hear more of this theory.” His eyes twinkled and his mouth moved playfully in that habit of his I just noticed.
“I don't think so. I'm not digging myself into that hole.”
“Fair enough,” he conceded.
I pushed my chair back and gathered our plates, taking them to the sink. He watched me. I’d learned it was a habit of his to simply observe. I wanted to ask him what he thought when he looked like that, but I was too afraid.
“A softball pitcher.” I heard him musing with a smile in his voice.
I laughed and nodded at the trash can as I emptied the crumbs off the plates. So we had circled back to me. “Yeah. Junior and senior year.”
“You've still got an amazing arm. You hit that kid square on the back of the head.”
I knew he referred to the teenager picking on the smaller kids earlier. The last snowball I had made was especially for him and not little like the others were. Raring back, I threw the ball as hard as I could and it landed right on the back of the kid's head. He'd spun around, glaring at me but he couldn't hide the falter in his steps or the involuntary roll of his eyes when he first turned.
I giggled. “I think I got lucky with that one. But as far as I know, I still hold the record for the most strikes thrown.”
I could tell Nicholas was impressed when his eyes rounded. “Wow. I guess I just don't see you as the athletic type.”
I glanced down at my belly and wondered if I had gained a few pounds since I last cared then looked away because I didn't want to care.
“No...Sophie,” he said softly, standing up and walking over to me. “You're beautiful. I just see you more as...”
Disappointed, I supplied, “A band nerd?”
He threw his head back and barked a laugh. “I don't know about your school, but there were some good looking band nerds at mine!”
“Whatever.” I looked away. I hated feeling so inadequate. I found myself wondering exactly what kind of man I would be good enough for. I didn't like the answer my brain gave me.
No one.
“I could use a bath,” he suddenly said and pulled me into his arms. I felt awkward there, and I couldn't help but remember the night we met and how strong he'd felt under my hands. I placed my palms against his arms, unsure whether I was feeling his strength or trying to push him away.
“How do you propose we do that? The power is out and my hot water heater isn't working.”
“You know, people didn't always have hot water heaters or electricity.”
I looked into his blue eyes and got tongue-tied. “How...” I swallowed past the dryness in my throat. “Are we going to boil water?”
“Ahhh.” He touched my face and leaned in near me, closing his eyes and looking as though he were savoring a fine wine. “We're going to boil water and enjoy a hot bath together. Things got interrupted last time we were going to do that.”
I smiled wanly. “Yeah, I guess they did.”
“Whaddya say?” He backed us up to the counter and pinned me against it. His eyes glinted with mischief, but I looked away.
I couldn't very well ask him to behave after my wanton actions earlier in the day. But now that I had my wits about me, even as he held me in his arms and waited for my answer, I wanted to throw away my reserve. I wanted to experience what Nicholas could offer. I longed to feel like a person again – like a woman.
“Sure,” I whispered and gazed up at him.
Gently, his fingers came up and tilted my chin upward. “Good,” he smiled. His lips pressed against mine. I felt the restraint in his simple kiss and it empowered me, but not enough to deepen it. No, I learned the hard way about that this morning.
His soft groan as he pulled away fueled my desire. Nicholas was a complicated man and there was nothing about him that didn't leave me confused. Every lingering touch, every whispered word, I held on to, searching for meaning. But I found nothing unwound the knot in my mind about him.
I dressed in my bathing suit and robe as Nicholas boiled water over the fire. “The bathroom is freezing cold,” I said as I emerged from my bedroom.
He pulled two boiling pots of water out of the small fireplace with hand mitts and shot a look over his shoulder with a wink. “We'll heat it up.”
I wasn't sure what that meant, and I wasn't positive I wanted to find out. A thrill of excitement shot through me, regardless.
“Look out,” he warned, holding two pans, and went into my bathroom. I could hear the water splashing into the tub from the two boiling pots. When he re-entered the kitchen, he carefully handed them to me and asked me to refill them as he took the other two and did the same thing.
After about thirty minutes of this, we finally had a half full bathtub of steaming water and were sitting across from each other sipping bottled water, eyeing one another carefully. Nicholas had taken my lead and pulled on his swim trunks although I never asked him to. I was slowly discovering that Nicholas was an honorable man, despite my earlier opinions of him. I was still confused about what we were doing and where it all would lead. I felt like I was just riding an uncontrollable wave, waiting to see where it took me.
I was starting to sweat, from the water or nerves I wasn't sure. Nicholas's bare chest was playing hide and seek in the water and it was difficult for me not to stare. His chest was lined with silky dark hair that I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through.
I saw Nicholas watched me, too. I wore a simple one piece navy blue suit that wasn't at all revealing, but I was getting the impression it turned him on more than if I were completely naked.
I shifted in the water and leaned my head back, forcing my gaze away from him. It would be easier if we were talking. Anything would have made it easier if I had a distraction. As it was, my thoughts were he
aded south and it was making me feel bold. A feeling I didn't like having around Nicholas. I proved on more than one occasion that making moves on him was detrimental to my mental health.
He cleared his throat and sank down in the water. I raised my head just enough to glance at him but returned to the original position, trying desperately to clear my thoughts. I rolled my head over and gazed past the bar of soap next to me and stared at the wall. I saw a small tear in the dated wallpaper I hadn't noticed before. My floors needed mopping and the toilet probably needed to be cleaned. I needed to dwell on these things, and even more so when Nicholas's hand sank into the water and rested harmlessly on my knee.
Then, my gaze focused on the bar of soap I laid on the tub to freshen up with later. I thought about what it would feel like to run it over Nicholas's body – to feel the slickness of his skin underneath my fingertips. Even attempting to act out my fantasy was pointless. I wasn't going there again. Nicholas made it clear he didn't intend to sleep with me and once upon a time that was what I wanted. I wasn't sure what changed between then and now but suddenly our roles were reversed.
“I wonder how Jessica is fairing in this weather,” I said, focusing on an unpleasant subject to distract me from Nicholas's caressing thumb against my knee.
“She's probably fine. She's got nine lives, that one. She probably isn't enjoying a nice hot bath like us, though.”
I swallowed. Was enjoying the right word? Because right now, I felt a little tortured. I mumbled a sound of acknowledgment and leaned my head back again. Since that subject tanked, I tried to think of something else.
“Do you think you're going to regret leaving the band?” I asked, focusing again on yet another sore subject. I looked at him, but he kept his head reclined and his eyes focused on the ceiling. Now, if his fingers would stop tracing those lazy circles around my knee.
“I hope not. I'll probably always wonder what if, but in the long run it's better for me to end it the way I want it to end than spend the rest of my life chasing after it. Everyone moves on eventually.”
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