The view of the ocean and the rocks around it was beautiful. As I captured the image on my canvas, I found a calm I didn’t know I could still achieve. It had been a long time since I’d felt anything even close to it.
I was glad to be so far away from everything.
My phone rang, and I carefully set down my paints to answer it. I smiled when I saw my best friend’s name across the screen.
“Hey, Samantha,” I said.
“How was your first day?” she asked.
“It was really great. I like the people I work with a lot, and the customers were super welcoming.”
“That’s awesome. I told you it would be good,” she said.
“How about you? How’s the family?”
“Well, Owen is walking on his own now.”
“Already?” I asked, surprised. “He just turned one! I can’t believe he’s growing up so fast.”
I was thrilled to hear about the little boy, the youngest of Samantha’s two children, hitting his milestones. I loved children and missed being around them.
“You’re telling me,” Samantha said. “So, tell me more. How is it going out there in Oregon? I still for the life of me can’t figure out why you would decide to move all the way out there.”
I laughed. “Because it’s all the way out here. It’s going really well. It’s beautiful out here, and I am really going to like working at The Hollow. I even have a boss that is not bad to look at.”
That was the understatement of the century, but I didn’t want to gush too much.
“Oh, really?” Samantha said, latching on to even the vague description. “What’s he like?”
I told her about Jordan and how he’d shown me around when I first got to the bar. “And I caught him staring at me just about all night.”
She let out a little bit of a squeal. At nearly thirty years old, she could still manage a schoolgirl squeal with the best of them. It always made me laugh.
“You should go for it!” she said.
“Go for what?” I asked, picking up my brush to start painting again.
“For him. You should just jump into it with him. Rip the bandage off.”
I scoffed. “That is not going to happen.”
“Why not?”
“I am definitely not ready for that, Samantha. Especially not with someone I work with, or I should say work for,” I said.
“You should think about it. You can’t wait around forever,” she said, sounding a little disappointed.
Samantha loved her husband, a successful New York City banker, and she adored being a mother to their two children. But there were times when it seemed like she was missing the carefree days of youth and singlehood and wanted to live vicariously through me.
Only that meant she was also trying to turn my life into a Choose Your Own Adventure, with her at the helm of all the choices. It was all with my best interests in mind, but I wasn’t ready to throw myself in quite the way she wanted me to.
After getting off the phone, I spent a while longer at the beach working on the painting. As it got later in the morning, more people started to arrive, and soon the sense of quiet and peace wasn’t quite the same. Even then, it was good to see the families coming out to enjoy picnics and the little children running around on the sand.
I liked seeing them happy. It gave me a boost of optimism that one day I might be able to find that for myself.
I packed everything up and headed back to the little house I’d picked out almost as soon as I arrived in Astoria. It wasn’t big or luxurious, but it was comfortable, and it was mine. And at that point, that meant more to me than I could put into words.
There was enough time for me to take a short nap and have lunch before I needed to get ready for work. I didn’t actually have to be at the bar until later, but I was still getting the hang of the place, and I wanted to make a good impression.
It wasn’t one of the theme nights, so it was already open for late lunch and early dinner by the time I got there. It wasn’t busy, with only a handful of people scattered around at the various tables positioned throughout the space. I was amazed to see that there were no visible signs of the event the night before still there. It was like it had all magically disappeared in between the time I had left and the time I showed back up.
Ava was behind the bar when I walked in, and she waved me over.
“Hey,” she said. “How are you doing today?”
“Doing great,” I said. “Should I go check on any of these tables?”
She shook her head and smiled. “Don’t worry about them. They’re regulars. They pretty much take care of themselves. When they need something, one of the guys will take care of them. I wanted you to meet my best friend, Stephanie.”
Ava gestured across the bar at a woman sitting on one of the stools with a beer between her hands. She smiled at me, and I smiled back.
“Hi,” I said. “I’m Hannah. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
I gave a slightly questioning look to Ava. “You have?”
Ava laughed. “All good things, I promise. Stephanie has been listening to all my complaints about this place since I showed back up in town and went to work for the guys. She hears all the dirt about this place. Not that you’re dirt.”
I laughed. “I’ve been called worse. Trust me. You said you showed back up in town? You haven’t always lived here?”
I sat down on the stool beside Stephanie and listened to Ava tell me about how she had grown up in Astoria and been with Mason through most of her teenage years. When they broke up, she left and went to college, then settled in a different state. It wasn’t until her father was seriously injured and needed her help that she came back. That was when she started working at The Hollow, leading to her reuniting with Mason.
I enjoyed sitting there talking with the women. I like how laid-back they were, and it felt like they didn’t have any ulterior motives like most people did back home. Just before I got up to start my shift, another woman swept into the bar and went around to hug Ava.
“Hannah, this is Becca, Tyler’s wife,” she said.
“Nice to meet you,” I offered.
Becca smiled at me, and we chatted for a few moments while Ava went into the back to get the bundle of hand-me-down baby clothes she was sending to Becca’s son. When she left, I headed over to the table of customers that had just come in and sat down.
I had a feeling I was really going to like it here.
3
Jordan
All around me, there was sound. Explosions. Gunshots. Screams and shouts, both to terrify and out of fear and pain. Engines roared, and metal ground against metal. It was all so loud and intense it felt like it was seeping down into my skin and rattling in my bones. Like I would never be able to get away from it. It was the sound that was becoming a part of me.
I ran. I didn’t even know where I was running. Everything was so chaotic, and the dust was so thick in my eyes I didn’t know which direction was which. If I looked down, I could barely even see my boots in the sand. But I knew I had to keep running. If I stopped, I’d be dead. Blood ran down my face, stinging my eyes and tasting metallic on my tongue.
I didn’t know where the blood was coming from. I didn’t even know if it was mine.
I was aware of pain, something burning and deep on my leg, but I didn’t pause to find out what happened. There would be enough time for that later. I needed the adrenaline right now. As long as I didn’t look, as long as I didn’t know what was going on, I could run on sheer will.
Somewhere in the glowing dust and darkness around me, I could hear my name being called. The voice was so distant and muffled by the other sounds closing in around me, I couldn’t tell who it was. But there was desperation in it. Terror and agony.
Straining through everything else for the sound, I continued to push myself forward, searching for whoever it was who needed me, whoever it was trying so desperately to
get my attention.
Something exploded so close to me I could feel the heat and debris rake across my face. I dropped to the ground and shielded my head. The sand dug into my skin and got into my mouth as I tried to breathe. Finally, I tried to stand, but my feet wouldn’t get under me. I couldn’t force my legs to support me.
That wouldn’t stop me. I could still hear the sound, still hear the screaming. It wasn’t as far away now. I knew who it was. The best friend I had out here. The guy I’d been serving alongside for years and had shared experiences with no one but those of us who were out there would ever understand.
Reaching ahead of me, I clawed through the sand to drag myself forward. The heat stung on my skin, and grit mixed with the blood running down my face. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t just give up. Another explosion lifted me up, throwing me forward so I crashed into the ground.
More pain surged through me, and for a moment, I lay there, stunned. When my senses came back to me and I knew I wasn’t dead, I forced myself to keep going. I hadn’t dragged myself far when I realized I no longer heard my friend screaming. The voice was completely gone.
But ahead of me in the sand was a broken, crumpled body. Seeing it gave me the adrenaline I needed to push harder. I was able to get onto my knees and move forward faster. Dropping down onto the ground beside him, I turned my buddy over onto his back and saw the massive wound down his face and the side of his neck and across his chest.
I tore a bandage out of my pack to try to cover as much of the wound as I could, but there was nothing I could do to stop the bleeding.
I woke up covered in sweat, gasping for breath. They didn’t happen very often, but that wasn’t the first time I’d had that nightmare. I did my best not to spend a lot of time dwelling on that horrific day or anything else I saw during my time in the military. But sometimes I couldn’t help it. Sometimes the nightmares plagued me, and there was nothing I could do to escape reliving the horror and pain I’d experienced.
But I had learned that running right after suffering one of them took away the shaky feeling and made me feel more in the moment again. It was like it cleared my mind and brought me back into the present, rather than those difficult days. Those days were years ago now, but so often, they felt like they had just happened.
Putting on my running gear and tying my shoes, I headed out of the house without any idea how long I was going to run. I would just keep going until I felt like I was finished. That ended up being at a diner across town. It had always been one of my favorite restaurants, serving the best all-day breakfast around. I was a sucker for breakfast food. Always had been.
I convinced myself having a couple of plates full of my favorite breakfast foods would be the best way to fuel up after my long run and headed inside. At first, I walked up to the podium to talk to the young hostess standing there, but then something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I looked to the side and saw my brother Matt sitting in a booth by himself.
I pointed him out. “Is he here with anyone?”
She glanced over and shook her head. “No. He came in alone and only got one menu. He’s only been here for a few minutes. Just barely got his coffee.”
“Great,” I said. “I’m just going to join him.”
“Perfect,” she said, reaching down to the chair beside her to grab a menu from the stack sitting on the seat.
“Thanks.”
I took the menu and walked over to the table where Matt sat. He was staring at the mug in his hands like the coffee was going to give him the answers to all the questions of the Universe. The sound of me smacking my menu on the edge of the table made him jump, and his eyes snapped up at me.
“Hey,” I said, smiling.
“What the hell, Jordan?” Matt asked.
I laughed and sat down across from him. “Just waking you back up. Looks like last night got the most of you.”
“Not really. I’m alright. I was just craving some hash browns with onions and a couple of over-easy eggs, so I came up here. What are you doing here? You look like hell.”
“Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I just took a run. But I decided I didn’t have the energy to get all the way back because I didn’t eat anything before I left, so I’m here to get powered up for the run back home,” I said.
“Are you fellas ready to order?” the waitress asked as she set down my cup of coffee. “Or do you need a little more time?”
Each of us ordered our favorite breakfasts and a few extra dishes and handed the menus back to the woman. She smiled and headed off toward the kitchen. I reached for the tiny pitcher of cream near the edge of the table and swirled some into my coffee, then followed up with a couple of packets of sugar.
Matt grimaced. “How do you drink it like that?”
“Because I like it like that,” I responded.
“It’s supposed to be coffee, not dessert.”
“What happened to you? You used to be fun.” I looked down in my mug. “I had my fill of terrible instant black coffee when I was in the service. Maybe my taste for drinking it black will come back someday, but for now, I’ll have it as sweet and creamy as possible.”
Matt shrugged and drank another sip of his own coffee.
“What’s on your mind? Anything I can help with?”
Matt tended to be the most dramatic of us brothers, but I never wanted to discount him. There could actually be something bothering him, and I didn’t want him to feel like nobody cared. If there was one thing I carried with me out of that desert it was to never turn your back on someone or leave an opportunity to show that they matter to you.
“Not really,” he said. “I was just thinking about how everything’s changing. Do you realize three of our brothers are married with kids now? Three of them. The grandchildren are catching up with us.”
“I know,” I said. “It’s kind of hard to wrap my head around.”
Our food came while Matt and I talked about feeling a little bit left in the dust and bonding over the shared feeling of everything moving forward without us. I left the restaurant feeling better, but also thinking even more about the future and the family I wanted so much.
That night I was training Hannah behind the bar. She was a fantastic cocktail waitress, but it was good to have the people who worked for us be able to do as many things as possible so we could fill in as we needed to depending on how nights went and if there were gaps in the schedule on any given day.
“So, you were saying you just moved to Astoria,” I said, picking up a piece of the conversation we’d had on the first day I trained her a couple of weeks before.
“Yep,” she said, nodding. “I just moved from New York.”
“Wow,” I said. “You think you could have made a bigger move? Go a little bit further, maybe?”
Hannah laughed. “It was a little extreme, I guess. But I just can’t escape living on the coast. The whole idea of middle America has never appealed to me. Here and New York are about as different as I could possibly imagine, but at least I can still get to the ocean in both of them.”
“Fair enough,” I said. “Why did you move? Just time for an adventure?”
“I guess you can say that. I wanted to start a new life.”
“Nothing left for you in New York?” I asked.
“Other than my best friend, no. And she has a family of her own. A husband and two children. It wasn’t like it used to be. I needed to get away and find out where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing.”
“I can definitely understand that,” I said. “That’s part of why I joined the military.”
We talked a little bit more, but I quickly found the conversation drifting away from the more personal details of our lives to things like her asking for recommendations for good restaurants around town and what we did for fun. She was trying to settle in and find her way, and I was happy to guide her along.
4
Hannah
A few weeks after arriving in
Astoria, I felt like I had made one of the best decisions of my life. I didn’t know exactly what to expect when I’d decided to move to Oregon. As a matter of fact, the most important thing on my mind at the time was just getting out of New York and away from just about everybody who was there. Like I told Jordan, the only people who I really missed were Samantha and her family.
But now that I was here and really starting to settle in, I was enjoying it more than I even could have imagined. It was my night off from the bar, so I decided to walk around the town a bit and get more familiar with it. One of the things I loved about Astoria was how similar it was to New York in that I could walk around and visit shop to shop and restaurant to restaurant.
Of course, that was pretty much where the similarities ended. Astoria was tiny and slumbering compared to New York, but I was also finding that I loved that about it, too. As I was walking down the main street in the village, checking out the shop windows and making note of where things were so I could find them later, I heard someone calling my name.
I stopped and looked around, finally seeing Becca coming toward me. She had a big smile on her face and several shopping bags in each hand. I grinned at her as she approached.
“Hey, Hannah,” she said. “How are you doing today?”
“I’m doing great. I see you’re doing some shopping.”
She looked down at the bags in her hands. “Maybe just a little bit.”
We both laughed.
“What are you after today?” I asked.
“Just doing some shopping for my little boy. He’s getting so big so fast I feel like I’m always buying him new clothes, and now that he’s walking, I’m constantly getting him new shoes. Not that I’m complaining. I have the best time buying him things and dressing him up.”
“Where is he? I’d love to meet him,” I said.
Boss Daddy: A Secret Baby Romance Page 2