by Liz Crowe
She frowned, snapping back to herself, still waiting for her current intolerable buyers to finish wasting her time. She realized that Craig had been ignoring her for the bulk of the week, avoiding her eyes when they passed each other in the hall, asking for advice from other agents instead of her. She was conflicted, aggravated at them both and herself for even caring what Craig did or thought about her.
A final message appeared around six p.m.:
“Hey, you going to this thing your brother is hosting out on Strawberry Lake or wherever?”
She reddened, but was not that surprised he knew about it. She would have given anything to stroll into the party on Jack’s arm, his attention only for her, and have her brother accept it.
Fat chance on both counts.
After the email exchange, he hadn’t ignored her exactly, but seemed unwilling to revisit the conversation. It made her nuts, this not knowing, but she reminded herself she should take what she could get from him, and what she wanted more than anything right now was his hands on her body.
“Of course. He invited you? Really?”
“Sure. I’m the life of any party”
“Whatever. I’ll be there.”
“Wanna ride? I can show you my new wheels.”
“I guess – not sure I’m safe with you though.”
“You’re as safe as you want to be, Sara.”
“Pick me up in half an hour, my place.”
He showed up in an amazing 1962 Lincoln Continental convertible, red with a white leather interior. It was all she could do not to laugh out loud.
“Jesus, Jack, seriously,” she said as she walked toward the passenger side to let herself in. Her every nerve ending was zinging in anticipation of being near him again, much less…
The little homey, domestic scenarios that had played through her waking thoughts kept intruding. Would it be possible for them to ever take things a step further? She didn’t know after her extreme reaction to that girl’s text messages. She didn’t know if her psyche could take it. Did she even want it? Her brother had been pressing her to go out with Craig – an officially Blake-approved mate. How he even knew the guy escaped her.
The curse of living in a town where you grew up and everyone knew everyone else’s business, she guessed.
She slid into her seat, leaned her head back and sighed. The decision suddenly appeared, bright and clear. She’d tell him again. Open up and be honest with him about how she felt. Give him a chance to accept or retreat. The word “trust” had to play a big part in the conversation whether he liked it or not.
“Nice car,” she said, not looking at him. The radio had been replaced at some astronomical expense with a modern, satellite version, and eighties college rock poured from the speakers as he held his arm over the bench seat back and grinned at her.
“Thanks. I like it.” He grabbed a beer for her and a bottle of water for himself from a cooler in the back seat.
Sara had managed to persuade two different buyers to meet her tomorrow to write offers, and strong-armed a couple of sellers into price reductions. She felt powerful, determined to take back the reins of this thing with Jack, if he would meet her halfway. She accepted the beer he offered and took a sip.
It was a two-hour drive out to her parents’ property, which consisted of one small house with three bedrooms right on a lake and one smaller house with a room plus a bathroom they had always used for overflow guests in the summers she spent out here. Jack had great music on, the weather was perfect, and his arm stayed casually draped around her shoulders as they sang along with the Smithereens, the Clash, the Ramones, and the Stones.
When they exited the freeway and began the final forty-five minute drive to the lake, she began to squirm, nervous at the thought of strolling into Blake’s party with this man. The one he’d warned her about, had rescued her from. Jack distracted her when he started stroking her neck and then transferred to her thigh, moving her dress skirt up to allow him better access.
It set off a small fire in her belly but also tipped the scales in favor of what she planned to say to him today. She smiled but her throat clenched at the sight of his grin. She picked up his hand and put back onto the steering wheel.
“Pull over at the first left.” She held her hands together, fighting the urge to touch him. She had to have her say. Whenever she was this near Jack something in her knew they were a great fit. Her heart lifted at the thought of their night together, after the attack. She let it give her strength. He did as she said, and made his way into a small open space about a quarter of a mile from the road, private and surrounded by tall trees.
“Hey,” he said, turning to her. “Did you lose your virginity here?”
“Maybe.” She shifted in her seat and turned to face him as he shut off the engine. “Wait.” She dodged the hand he extended to pull her close.
“Okay.” He sat back, his eyes darkening. There was a palpable change in the air and Sara gulped once, trying like hell not to lose her nerve.
“I, um, want to talk. Really talk just a minute. I mean, I think that we have potential. I’m not averse to, um, seeing where it might take us. I am afraid, still, but I’m willing to take a chance on…you. On us, I guess.”
His eyes narrowed, pondering her words. His finger tapped against the back of the leather seat, distracting her.
“The thing you have to know about me is…well, I’m too great at the trust thing. I’m something about you tells me that you’re not ready for me to trust you yet either. It’s like you want me to but you don’t even know if your worthy of it. Or something.” She sucked in a breath.
He opened his mouth to speak. “No.” She held up a hand. “I have more. It’s okay. I mean, I have to be honest with myself and engage in a little self-protection here, you know?”
He blew out a breath and looked up at the dark green canopy that covered them, then faced her and spoke. “What if I say I’m willing to try? That you make me want to be the most trustworthy man in the universe? More than any human being I’ve ever met?” Sara blinked fast. This wasn’t what she’d expected. Something along the lines of, “You’re right, babe. Now let’s fuck some more,” or something like that would have been more in keeping with the mental conversations she’d had with him in the last few days.
“I’d say that is admirable.” She simply couldn’t resist resting her palm against his darkened cheek. “But is it realistic? Are you just saying it so I’ll let you…you know.”
He wouldn’t meet her eyes. She leaned back, hands clenched tight in her lap. “I have a hard time coming to terms with this but the fact of the matter is you make me happy, content, turned on, all the stuff I’m supposed to want. You know?” She gasped when he gripped her arms, hauled her up and onto his lap. She straddled him as his lips covered hers, his fingers twined in her hair. He finally broke the lip lock.
“I have a different proposal for you,” he said, as if they had not just been on the verge of a make-out session. She raised an eyebrow at him, her body on fire, her mind equally ablaze.
“How about you let me prove it? Give me as much as you can, let me have small increments of your trust. I need to show you I can do it. I swear.” He broke away. She put her hands on either side of his face and swore, for a minute, she saw deep sadness in his eyes. Her stomach fluttered.
He reached for her then, cupped a hand behind her neck and covered her protests with a kiss that made her doubt anything and everything she had said to him. She ended the kiss with some effort, put her hands on his shoulders, and glared at him.
“A trial period, eh? For how long? I’m a busy girl. Gotta schedule things.”
He grinned and cupped a breast under her dress. “Control freak.” He moved her strap aside and leaned in to suck a nipple into his mouth. She threaded her fingers in his hair, her heart singing with happiness.
“Yeah, give it a deadline. You know, in case I need to keep my options open,” she said, her voice losing its conviction.
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br /> He released her nipple and gripped her hair harder, making her gasp with the pleasure/pain sensation that was so much a part of her relationship with Jack so far. His normally low, growly voice went down an octave, making her shiver all over. “You don’t need any other option, baby. I’ve got everything you need.” She nodded, speechless. This was going to work.
“I need you,” she heard New Sara tell him. He reached for her, but she forced his hands back. Readjusting herself on her knees, she pulled his face to hers, demanding a kiss. He gave her what she wanted, while she yanked her dress up, eager, breathless, and hornier than she’d felt in years. Without another word, she unzipped his shorts and gripped him, making him sigh with pleasure. “Hang on, I brought protection.” She smiled and showed him the condom she’d retrieved from her purse.
“Mmmm, all this and a girl scout too,” he muttered, closing his eyes as she rolled the sheath down his shaft.
“Yeah, a girl learns how to take care of herself.” His cock was so hard it pressed up tight against his lower belly. She straddled him, allowing herself only minimal penetration.
“Wait.” He gripped her hips, not letting her envelop him fully. “You have to understand something. This is your choice. Something you can take away anytime. But…” He sighed, releasing her so she could drop down further, making them both groan. He tugged her chin down, forcing her to meet his eyes. “You scare me, Sara. The way I feel about you terrifies me. And when I get scared I sometimes act stupid. Fair warning.”
Every inch of her skin was sensitized, responding to him in way that made her nearly mad with need. She wanted him – all of him, all of the time, but if this was all he would give, well, she’d take it for now. She responded by sitting down slowly, taking his thickness deep, gasping from the newly familiar stretching sensation.
His put his hands on her hips and forced her back up, then looked at her a moment, his gaze puzzled. But New Sara ignored his confusion and lowered herself back down, taking him into her fully, again and again. She closed her eyes and let it happen, felt her orgasm roaring up with every penetration. She shoved his shirt up and ran her hands across his incredibly sculpted upper body. Consciously tightening her vaginal muscles, she watched his eyes, aware of the response she would get.
“Don’t be silly, Jack,” she whispered, breathless. “You can trust me, too.”
When he reached around and grabbed her ass with both hands, and brought his lips back to her nipple she tipped over the edge, moaning and crying out his name as the orgasm embraced her. She brought his face up to hers, wanting to kiss him, to share it with him. She continued to flex her inner muscles and raise herself up and down, until he reached his own climax, groaning into her mouth.
She remained in place a few minutes, trying to restore her normal breathing pattern. He sighed into her neck. “Okay,” he muttered, “I think I’ve been used and abused, but I liked it.” He shifted as she lifted herself off him.
She laughed. “Let’s go. The party’s started. Might as well face Blake now. That’s part of my deal. He has to know that we’re together.”
Jack groaned. “Okay, but try to keep him from throttling me, will ya?” She leaned over to kiss him, her body sated, her mind clear, her thoughts chock full of her life ahead with Jack, of all people.
By the time they reached the cabin, its lights were ablaze and music poured out of all windows. There were people inside and on the expansive deck. Jack started out with his arm around her shoulders but released her once they climbed the steps. She figured he was going to grab drinks for them and started across the deck to talk with a friend.
When she caught sight of an extremely tall and exotic looking woman making a beeline for Jack, she blinked, still in a slight stupor from her recent orgasm. Her eyes narrowed as the woman whispered something in Jack’s ear, making him frown.
Heather.
It had to be. She swallowed hard.
Trust him, Sara. You have to give him a chance. He’s probably telling her to back off.
She walked up to Blake who stood at the grill turning hamburgers.
“Hey, sister.” He glared over at Jack then leaned in to whisper into her ear, “You smell like sex. What the hell is he doing here?”
“Hey, Blake.” She put her arm around his shoulders. “He’s, ah, my date.” The sudden feel of something cold against her arm made her squeal. She jumped and turned, fully expecting Jack to be standing there with a cold one for her. When she looked straight into Craig’s deep chocolate eyes she smiled.
He smiled in return and held out the sweating brown bottle. She tried to tamp out the distinct sound of Jack’s laughter drifting across the room as she took the bottle, emptying half in one drink.
Blake shook Craig’s hand, and Sara looked around the room pretending not to notice Jack and the woman he claimed was a stalker. As if sensing her glare, Jack turned his head, winked at her, and then turned the full force of his attention to the woman practically panting in front of him. She kept touching his arm, his chest, but to his credit, he would remove her hand whenever it reached him. Sara clutched the bottle tighter, finished it off, and put the empty down before stomping away.
God damn it. Why was he making this so difficult? She’d told him she was afraid of being hurt, of this very thing—that one of his past sex partners would get grabby or weird.
Sara greeted some friends on her way to the beer coolers, grabbed another one, stood, and opened it as she turned. Craig was at the other end of the long table filled with food, laughing with Jen, the admin girl he’d been linked with through company gossip. Sara’s face flushed.
She attempted to locate Jack without looking around too obviously. Her second beer went down quickly, and she made her way over to Rob, ignoring Craig as she passed him.
“Hey,” her brother’s handsome lover said as he turned the shrimp and chicken kabobs on the massive grill.
“Don’t,” she demanded. “Just… don’t, okay?”
“You said yourself it was only physical,” he muttered to her. “Why do you expect him to act any different?”
“You know what,” she hissed at him, “You don’t know the whole story. We are officially…together for your information and he just has to tell her that.” She nodded over to where Jack and Heather had been standing. They were nowhere in sight. She gulped and clenched her fists. Rob put a hand on her shoulder.
Needing space from him and his unspoken “I told you so,” she made her wobbly way across the large deck. Passing by an open door, she heard Jack’s low laughter – the sound of him in full-on seduction mode was hard to miss since she’d been on the receiving end of it so frequently.
While her brain screeched at her to keep walking, to ignore what she heard, her feet led so she found herself in the gloom of the one main rooms of the cabin. She kept walking until she was in the doorway out to the back deck. The overgrown wisteria vines provided dim corners perfect for secret trysts as Sara well knew from years of experience. The sound of a woman’s giggle and the distinct and recognizable noise of a kiss froze her in place. She sucked in a deep breath and stepped out onto the deck.
“Jack.” A woman’s high-pitched voice stretched his name out to several syllables. “I thought you had forgotten about me.” The woman giggled again, an annoying nails-on-a-chalkboard sound to Sara’s rattled brain.
“No, no. Now, now hang on. I’m here with someone. Cool your jets.” Sara stood and listened, willing to hear his side of the conversation. “Listen, Heather, I’m not… I mean, I think I’m,,, whoa, hands off, sweetheart.”
Sara heard the woman whimper.
“Hang on, aren’t you gonna finish what you started?” Heather’s voice got breathier. “I mean, you found me at this thing even though you came with…” Jack cut her off.
“Actually, you found me. Look, I gotta get back. Sorry but you can’t, oh hell, seriously, stop it.” He groaned, making the hairs on the back of Sara’s neck stand up.
Mine.
The woman made a disappointed, whiny sound. Sara finished off the beer and set the bottle down with a clunk, alerting the asshole and the slut with him to her presence.
There was more rustling and a feminine squeal. She took another step out into the sunlight and saw Jack sitting with Heather half draped over his lap. She turned her head and glared at Sara, putting a blatant hand on Jack’s crotch. He removed it without a word, watching Sara the entire time.
Some combination of post Jack-induced orgasm stupor and extreme anger at his bullshit attitude since they hit the party made her body thrum with fury but she forced herself to get real.
God, she should know better by now. The guy was nothing but a walking hard-on, apparently, without any scruples or emotion whatsoever. His stupid email bullshit, and her own willingness to believe it these past days collided in her brain. She would never, ever trust him, no matter how badly she wanted to. It invited heartbreak and disaster, two things she had no room in her life for anymore.
“Sorry to interrupt.” Sara put a hand on the wall to steady herself. “Don’t stop on my account, Jack,” she hissed at him, ignoring the woman as she sat back on the bench and tugged at Jack’s hand. His eyes narrowed. “Since we came together I thought you might want to know I’m leaving,” she said. “You know, so you won’t wonder where I am or anything.” Sara whirled around before she let tears drop then turned back to him and ground out. “By the way, your time is up.”
“Wait, Sara. Christ, Heather, would you please stop.”
She picked up her pace, able to sidestep the furniture through her veil of tears since Blake hadn’t changed anything from the time they used to hang here as kids. Her brother stood in the small kitchen and caught her arm as she passed by.