Once the door was shut, Breanne gestured for them all to take a seat around the small table near the laptop. Laura slid easily into her chair. King carefully perched on his with Faith still huddled on his lap. The bright orange plastic chair groaned under his weight.
Laura scooted to the edge of her seat, ready to sweep in if the chair gave way, but after a few seconds it held firm and she relaxed. King gently rubbed his hand in small circles on Faith’s tiny back. Laura’s heart squeezed for the second time that night.
Breanne got down to business, picking up a small bright yellow processor off the table. It was connected by a tiny wire to her laptop. “Faith, are you ready to put this on?”
Breanne spoke slowly, very clearly enunciating her words and lip movements. Faith stayed tucked in close to King and nodded.
Breanne glanced up at King with a small smile. “You might have to scoot her my way just a little bit.”
“All right.” King pulled Faith’s arm from behind his neck and picked her up, turning her so that she faced Breanne.
Unable to sit quietly, Laura said, “Faith, pull your hair back so she can put it on.”
Faith shifted Kitty underneath her other arm and lifted her long hair out of the way, watching Breanne cautiously.
“Okay, good job.” Breanne scooted forward, and held up the brightly colored processor that looked like a behind-the-ear hearing aid with a small disk attached to it by wire. “I’m going to put this on you now.”
Faith had turned her head, giving Breanne easier access. She carefully settled the microphone behind Faith’s little ear and then attached the magnetic processor to its spot on her head behind her ear. “Melissa said you would be familiar with the basics. So, you know this is held on magnetically to the matching disk beneath her skin where the implant is.”
Laura nodded. “Yes, her first audiologist explained everything to us.”
“Good, I won’t bore you with going into too much detail, the care and the maintenance will be the same. The only thing different is this processor is slightly more advanced, so the sound quality will be better and it’s rechargeable. There’s still the battery light indicator on the back so you will know when it’s on or off.” Breanne pointed to the flashing green light on the back. “So, the main difference will be that when she takes it off at night, she will put it in the charging dock.”
“That’s great. I was always worried we might run out of batteries.” She’d quickly learn to keep them in stock. She’d kept a package in her purse, her car, her house… everywhere.
“There.” Breanne scooted back and shifted her chair to face the laptop where she would program the processor. She turned and gave Faith a thumbs up, and Faith dropped her hair and sat up straight, watching every move Breanne made.
The first time they turned on Faith’s processor several months ago, she’d been shocked and delighted and scared. Laura had cried like a baby. At the time she thought John was dead, and she thought that Faith would never get to hear her father’s voice.
“Are you ready?”
Faith nodded eagerly, leaning in even closer. King wrapped a thick arm around the child’s waist to keep her from falling off his lap. Laura found herself leaning in too, eager to catch every nuance of Faith’s expression when they turned the sound processor on again.
Breanne turned to her laptop, moved the mouse around and clicked some buttons, and then silently she nodded to Laura to go ahead and speak.
“Faith, can you hear me?” Laura sucked in a breath and held it as soon as the last word was out, gripping her knees with excitement.
Faith’s blue eyes widened and her mouth parted.
A huge grin split Laura’s lips; she couldn’t help but glance at King, hoping he could see her open appreciation for this wonderful gift. He returned her gaze with a smile.
“Faith, can you understand me?” Laura repeated slowly.
Faith nodded. The same expression on her face.
“Faith, is she too loud?” Breanne pointed her finger upward. “Or too soft?” Breanne pointed her finger downward, indicating if the volume needed to go up or down.
Faith just shook her head no.
“Am I too loud?” Breanne asked in a normal tone of voice.
Faith shook her head no again, squeezing her stuffed cat even tighter.
Breanne glanced past Faith to King. “Dad, why don’t you say something? Let her hear your voice.”
The smile playing about King’s mouth disappeared. He stiffened and Laura stopped breathing. A flash of pain bolted across his gaze and was just as instantly shuttered. If Laura hadn’t been watching him so closely, she would’ve missed it. What was he thinking? What must he be feeling?
She reached for him, her soul crying out to comfort him, but he shifted slightly away, and the rejection stabbed her in the gut.
King seemed to make a recovery and cleared his throat. “Faith, can you hear me?”
Faith jumped out of his lap and squealed all at once. And then she slapped her hands over her ears, shocked at how loud her own voice had been. Then she pointed at King, suddenly asking him to talk again. When he smiled this time, it was more of a grimace, but he obliged. “Faith, how do I sound?”
Then she pointed at Laura, indicating for her to talk. Laura swallowed past the knot in her voice and said, “Sweetie, do you like it?”
Faith squealed and clapped her hands, jumping up and down as she pointed at King to go again. Laura’s eyes watered and her lips trembled. She pressed her fingers to her lips.
King said, “Hey, Faith.” His voice was gruffer than normal.
Faith was however completely unaware of the tension and jumped up into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck in a fierce hug. King shot Laura a panicked expression and Laura swooped from her seat, scooping Faith up high in her arms. She planted a quick kiss on her forehead. “I love you.”
There were so many emotions riding through her right now, Laura could barely remember how to speak. She wanted to squeeze Faith and enjoy, while at the same time she wanted to take King in her arms and offer him comfort. The memories this must be dredging up had to be incredibly hard and painful.
“Well, that answers the question of whether she can hear the difference in the tones of your voices. I’m going to make a few more adjustments, and give her two more programs, each one a little bit louder so that you can slowly increase the volume as her brain and auditory nerve tree learn how to accept the sounds around her.” Breanne stayed focused on her computer, selecting and shifting various items on the screen.
Laura palmed Faith’s head against her shoulder.
King sat pale and silent in his chair, staring right through them.
Breanne continued, unaware of the attention he paid. “I also went ahead and ordered you a new at-home care kit since Melissa told me yours was destroyed in your house fire. So you’ll start out fresh with everything you could possibly need for the next several months.”
King and Laura both jerked at the word fire. King shot to his feet, and then crossed to the door. “I’ll let you two finish up.”
“King—” but he cut her off by shutting the door, effectively separating them.
Faith wiggled out of Laura’s arms and darted after him, forcing Laura to snag her and pull her back. Assuming the seat King had evacuated, she settled Faith on her lap and held her tight.
Breanne shot her a questioning look. Laura shrugged casually, all the while feeling her world shifting out from under her feet. “You were saying you’d gotten a new kit? Does it have the new instruction booklet?”
Chapter 18
Unable to face his past or his present, King called in Diggs and Hicks to catch a ride with the women and took their SUV, leading the caravan back to the mansion. There was no way he’d survive the ride home feeling Laura’s gaze plastered to his back all the way.
As they made their way down the highway, King could feel the empty seat next to him, the empty seat where in his truck Trinity u
sed to sit. The back of his right hand tingled and he curled his fingers into a tight fist. She always slid her hand across the console to hold his. Only now he couldn’t really remember what Trinity’s fingers must have felt like. Instead all he could feel was the blazing heat of Laura.
He punched the steering wheel, and then he punched again. Why now? He’d been fine just the way he was before, he’d been content. He’d been able to block out the pain. Dammit, he couldn’t do this, not again.
What right did he have to unconditional love again? He didn’t. He didn’t even have the right to long for it after failing his family.
The thought drew his eye to the rearview mirror and the empty backseat. A cold sweat broke out across his chest and chills raced down his neck. Before tonight, the last time he’d driven a child in this car had been Hope, her pudgy little legs swinging in her car seat squealing for Daddy to go faster.
King jerked his gaze to the road, staring blindly out the windshield, not seeing the road in front of him, not seeing anything but Hope racing to him with her little arms wide when he’d come home. She’d been so trusting for him to catch her. They both trusted him to take care of them.
Waves crashed in his ears and he ground his fists around the steering wheel. Just like Faith and Laura trusted him. He hadn’t been able to protect them and he’d lost them.
He couldn’t do it again.
He wouldn’t survive losing them all over again.
* * *
“King!” Laura bolted from the car as soon as the men put it in park. King was already halfway up the front staircase. He didn’t turn or even pause, just blasted through the front door like she didn’t exist.
Every cell in her body cried out for her to run after him. Her plans to talk to him on the way home from the hospital went up in smoke the moment she realized he’d taken the other vehicle to avoid her. To avoid them.
And how could she blame him? He’d told her about his daughter, Hope, being killed, and the audiologist at the hospital calling him Dad had to have opened up those old wounds.
Logically she knew she shouldn’t, but his rejection still hurt like hell. She had to talk to him. She had to get him to open up. Keeping those emotions so tightly wound would destroy him and it would destroy any connection she’d made with him. And Lord help her, she loved him too much to let that happen without a fight.
“Laura.” Faith jumped down from the vehicle. She’d said her name out loud for the first time in several days. Her speech may have been slow and clumsy, but it was still music to her ears.
Laura squatted down and held out her arms, catching Faith as she jumped in midair. “That was so good. You’re already catching up.”
Faith leaned back and lifted her stuffed cat up, pointing to him. “Kitty.”
“Good job.” Diggs passed Laura the small care kit. She took it and said, “Thank you.”
Diggs offered her a small sideways smile, his eyes full of compassion and understanding. “Give him some time. He’s opened up more to you than he has to any of us all the years we’ve known him. It’s got to be hard.”
Laura blew out a sigh, clutching Faith to her. “I know, I think I should talk to him though.”
“Why don’t you give him some space for a little while? I think he may need some time to decompress.”
The exhaustion hit her hard and fast. Suddenly her feet weighed a thousand pounds each and her eyelids felt equally as heavy. She was tired, and so was Faith. The roller coaster of emotions King was putting her through would wear out anyone. If she got some sleep, she’d be better prepared to face him.
She felt vulnerable, like she could cry at any moment, and she could only imagine how King must be feeling. “I think me and Faith are going to take a nap.”
“I don’t think you would call it a nap this time in the morning.”
“You’re right, we’re going to bed.”
Faith waved goodbye over Laura’s shoulder. “Diggs.”
Laura stroked a hand down her hair. “Good job. Very good.” She’d needed to occupy her mind as much as Faith’s on the way home, so they practiced saying everyone’s names in the car. Faith’s speech was picking back up at a rate of speed that left her amazed. She was so smart, so open and enthusiastic.
Climbing the stairs drained what remaining energy Laura had. She got Faith ready for bed and then slipped in right behind her, allowing sleep to take her. When she woke around noon, she felt refreshed. Faith was still asleep, Laura woke her too. Her sleep schedule had already been thrown off by last night’s visit to the hospital; she wanted to get her back on track. “Hungry?”
Faith rubbed her eyes and sat up, then pointed at her cochlear implant processor on the night stand. “Hear.”
Laura grabbed the small device and quickly put it on Faith’s ear, checking to make sure everything was on and functioning and then said, “Can you hear me?”
Faith simultaneously signed and said, “Yes.”
Laura sat on the edge of the bed. “Are you hungry?” She made sure to speak slowly and clearly, allowing Faith’s brain time to process her words. She also made sure Faith could clearly see her face so that she could read the movement of her lips.
“Yes, I’m hungry,” Faith said her words, not perfect but understandable. Her first speech pathologist had said Faith’s speech would take some time to normalize since she’d been fully without her hearing through those crucial speech development years at the beginning of her life. But through those months of intensive speech therapy and with Laura working with her at home, they’d made quick improvements. Being without her implant for the past couple of weeks seemed to have had very little impact. Thank goodness.
“Brush your teeth and change clothes and we’ll go downstairs,” Laura said.
As Faith got herself ready, Laura quickly dressed, trying to pick out something that looked decent on her.
If she ran into King she wanted to be looking her best. She smoothed a hand down her blouse and then slid on some sandals with her jeans. She did a quick check in the mirror, confirmed the shirt and jeans accentuated her curves enough and then took Faith down to the kitchen.
Diggs and Audra were in there eating lunch together, and Reaper was digging through the cabinets. He pulled out an armful then, chips and a can of…formula?
“Hi,” Laura offered, shying away from the very large Reaper and moving in the direction of Diggs and Audra.
Diggs patted the seat next to him and Faith hopped onto it without hesitating. “How’s our patient this afternoon?”
“I’m good,” Faith said.
Audra beamed at her. “How wonderful. Can I see?”
Faith exuberantly yanked back her hair and pointed to her new processor. “I can hear.”
“Faith, what do you want to eat?” Laura asked.
“Does she like chicken nuggets?” Reaper said, his gravelly tone drawing everyone’s attention. He sat the chips and formula on the counter.
Laura forced herself not to worry about him, it was not his fault that he was so scarred that his voice was so deep and rough.
“Yes! With ketchup.” Faith turned around and now clutched the back of her chair, watching Reaper expectantly without a hint of fear on her face.
The microwave behind him dinged and he reached in and pulled out a huge plate of steaming nuggets. He crossed to the refrigerator, extracted the ketchup and an extra plate and set both on the table in front of Faith. “Dig in.”
Faith looked up at Laura. “All of it?”
Laura smiled and shook her head. “Let’s start with three or four, okay? Mr. Reaper needs to eat too.”
She moved to stand behind Faith, putting a little bit more distance between her and Reaper, hoping he would take his portion of food back to the other side of the kitchen. Reaper grabbed the formula and exited the kitchen. Laura sucked in some air. “Was that baby formula?”
Audra nodded, “Yep. It’s about time for Charlotte’s – “
Diggs placed h
is hand on her arm and shook his head. Audra slowly closed her mouth and then gave him a brief nod in return. Then she looked back at Laura. “I heard Faith likes gymnastics?”
“She loves it,” Laura allowed, giving Audra a pass on the formula thing. She could ask King later.
“I used to teach gymnastics. I could work with Faith some, if she wants?”
“Yes!” Faith had been avidly following the conversation.
“If you’re okay with it?” Audra asked.
Why not? She had no idea how long they’d be here and the more people she got to know here, the better for her. “Sure. She’d love it.”
Reaper strode back into the kitchen then, arms empty but his gaze determined. “Audra, do you mind keeping an eye on Faith for a minute? I want to talk to Laura.”
Laura shot Audra a pleading look, which was completely ignored. “Sure, I’d love to.”
Reaper gestured to the door, “Laura, come with me.”
His tone brooked no defiance, still, she hesitated. “For how long? I don’t want to leave Faith alone too long.”
Her pulse throbbed in her ears, at the thought of being alone with him.
“Just a few minutes.”
He held the door open expectantly.
“Okay,” she said and bent to Faith. “I’ll be back in just a minute.”
Faith gave her a thumbs up and shoved a whole chicken nugget in her mouth.
“Laura, I’ve got her. You go on,” Audra said.
Trying not to drag her feet, Laura followed Reaper out of the kitchen and down a short hallway. He pushed open the large wooden door on his right and they entered what appeared to be a massive library. Tall windows graced the far wall, flanked by heavy burgundy velvet curtains. Books stretched from floor to ceiling, and low leather lounge chairs were placed artfully around the room. “This is nice,” she said, feeling like she needed to fill the silence.
Reaper crossed to one of the chairs and sat down, gesturing for Laura to take the seat across from him. “You don’t have to be nervous around me. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Laura gave herself an internal shake and crossed to the chair, sinking into its depths gratefully. It was so intimidating when he stood, at least now they were on semi eye-level. “I know you won’t, just like I know no one else here would.”
Mayhem’s King: Operation Mayhem Page 13