by Sarwah Creed
“Eat?” she offered and then shrugged as if she was running out of ideas. As the word left her mouth, I realized that it’d been a while since I ate, and I wanted something to eat.
Anything.
“Sure.”
She jumped up with joy as if I’d given her some hope of doing something rather than us both just sitting in her room and facing each other.
“What do you want?”
I smiled. “Your famous ham sandwich.”
She made a mean sandwich with pickles, ham and just enough mayonnaise and mustard to always make me want more.
I followed her like a stray to the kitchen and with both of her parents at work, we could do as we pleased. Her parents were both nurses who did crazy shifts or so it felt like it most of the time. They were hardly home, and she would either be home alone or with her brother who seemed to be part of every social activity under the sun. They were only a year apart, but her brother was the smart one in the family and he loved everyone knowing that, including Teresa.
“Coming right up!”
I sat as I watched her hover between the refrigerator and the table. She put so much effort and care into it, that I knew that it was going to taste good. I wanted to say something, anything just so that the atmosphere wasn’t so damn thick when the one person that annoyed me more than anyone in the world walked in.
“Hey Vicki.”
I turned to look at him. Normally, he would say something that was funny in his eyes and mean in ours. This time, nothing, no hi Vicki what you girls up to? Nothing.
It would be something stupid, but right now my mind turned a complete blank as I tried to think of something he would say.
“Hey,” I said, because it seemed like I should say something. Even if he was an asshole.
“So, how you holding up?” he asked as he adjusted his glasses and drew closer to me.
I noticed that his hair was clean shaven unlike the usual square Afro that he usually had his hair in. We used to laugh and tell him that the 90s were over. His dad made a mistake and showed him the movie, House Party. Henry thought that he could be Kid’s younger brother. They did look alike. Henry’s a lot lighter in complexion than Teresa, but the 90s were well and truly over. His dad regretted the day that he let him watch the movie.
Maybe he got over his phase.
“So, what happened to your hair?”
He laughed. “It’s gone, just like the 90s.”
“Ha! Dad told you that the moment you said that you would grow it like that, but you made it even worse when you did.”
We all laughed. “Remember when it got to the full length and then you went to school.”
“Oh, the good old days,” Henry said.
And between eating my sandwich and talking about Henry’s hair, I soon forgot, for just a moment, about the last couple of days. I was happy that I came over and even more so about eating Teresa’s sandwich. For some reason it tasted better than I’d ever remembered as if she’d made it that extra special, just for me and I felt at home. Even if I didn’t really have one.
Chapter Seven
It didn’t take long until I called Aunt Rose and told her that I was at Teresa’s house. She came to pick me up the next day and I knew that we’d have to have the talk. The one about the next steps, but Ava came over and we had a sleep over, and I didn’t want the night to end. We talked and even Abe came up in the conversation. I’d sent him a couple of texts and he seemed to be eager to be there for me. It was kind of sweet the way that he was concerned about me.
But our conversation didn’t get far. I didn’t know what was next. Aunt Rose spent most of her time traveling, which meant she didn’t have a permanent home. I just knew that we couldn’t stay in the hotel she rented much longer. Not only had Mom lost most of her money, but Aunt Rose had too. No one knew how.
I frowned as she started the car and pulled away from Teresa’s house. What were we going to do?
“Graham has good news,” she said as she leaned into a curve.
As much as I loved the idea of staying in a hotel before, knowing that I had nowhere to go made it even worse.
She didn’t want for me to respond. “He’s got a contract and maybe a record deal so he’s leaving in the morning. Good news, right?”
Really?
Was this good news? I didn't know whether to laugh or cry? Uncle G was talking about feeling guilty about not being there for Mom. We still hadn’t set a date for the funeral and he’s running off for his record label. I didn’t know what to think of anything at the moment. I was angry at the dead, but now I was just as furious with the living.
Did no one care?
My last two living relatives didn’t seem to give a damn.
Then she blurted out of nowhere, “I have no money Vicki. I’m not going to lie. I sold the house, so I could travel and try and further my career. Besides, I was in a bad way when Dad died and not feeling great after Mom’s death.”
I wanted to point out that she only came to the funeral for Gran. Mom packed up and so did I to spend some time with her, Aunt Rose didn’t even bother.
"I thought that I at least had money in Graham's trust fund account, but that’s gone, and I need to pay for your mom’s funeral. This is just killing us. At least if Graham signs his contract and gets an advance, then we can figure out how to pay for the funeral and then take things from there.”
Again, I nodded waiting for her to catch her breath and tell me my fate.
“And it seems that your mom made plans in case something happened, you know, something like this. So, with at least sorting out the funeral, you don’t have to worry about going to school. You can go to Hawk Academy in the next couple of weeks.”
Again, I nodded not knowing where the hell this academy was or what else she had to tell me.
“I’m supposed to be in my final year. Going to college, and now…”
She turned to face me for the first time since she picked me up. I thought that she was feeling bad about the fact that I ran out of Ned’s office, but now I could tell that there was something else on her mind.
“I travel a lot. I can’t leave you alone or move you all the way to New York. It makes no sense. You belong here, but I don’t think that’s possible.”
I remembered Teresa’s dad offered for me to stay with them. Just to finish the final year.
“I could stay with Teresa and her parents. Yes, you are my legal guardian, right? So, we could talk to her parents and then you could send some money or something…”
She shook her head. “No. I couldn’t give them money for your keep. That just wouldn’t be right. And it seems that your mom made plans for you to go to Hawk Academy. It would just be easier for everyone.”
Her blue eyes started to fill with tears and then I knew that that this was just as difficult for her as it was for me. Even if I was having doubts about her motives. She seemed to be sad, but sure the hell didn’t act like it. If I really thought about it, I remembered Mom calling and telling her about Gran. She said that she would arrive soon and always found an excuse not to come. Until the day of the funeral. Apparently, she dropped everything to come then, and as soon as it was all over, she was gone again.
Did Mom really call her?
I mean they were twins, but they were so different in not only looks but the way they acted too. Mom would help anyone in need, whereas Aunt Rose would think twice about it.
“I don’t want to do this,” she said as she held my hand, “But, it’s in the will. If anything should happen to her, then you should go there.”
“Why? Mom didn't have enough money to send me to a private school, when she was alive. Why would she send me to one when she was dead?”
She shrugged as she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. She pulled me in closer and started to sob. I wanted to see her face, to figure out if they were real tears or just crocodile ones.
“If it all goes bad. Sour and you’re not happy then I’ll find a way. Bu
t can you give it a try? It would be better for all of us in the long run.”
I nodded my head, I didn’t want to, but things were hard enough as it was at the moment and I didn’t want to make it even more difficult. I didn’t have a choice. I had a chance to finish school and by the sound of things, I’d have to find a way to get help to go on to a university. Maybe get financial aid, or scholarships, but I had to figure that out in the coming months, not right now.
There was light at the end of the tunnel, and I should have been happy, but it just made me feel even worse. I was leaving Utah again, but not for a little while this time. This time it was for good.
Chapter Eight
The last few weeks had been a whirlwind, Aunt Rose left for New York, Graham left to get his name in lights and my mom was laid to rest. I didn’t feel the hatred that I’d had a couple of weeks ago. I’d found peace even though Stuart was still out there. The police came to the hotel and I thought that it was with good news, but it was the same old story.
If we could think of anything to help them with their investigation. If they thought that a journalist and a teenager could do better than law enforcement, then I struggled to find their purpose in life. My life anyway.
I took a deep breath as I packed what little I had in a small suitcase, getting ready for a car to take me to the airport and on a flight to Boston. It was as if every little detail had been thought about and it made me even more nervous. But I said that I would give it a chance and that’s exactly what I intended to do.
I hated the idea of not saying bye to Abe. He asked when I was leaving, and I told him that I would be here when he came back from visiting his dad. I knew that I wouldn’t be, but I’d said bye so many times lately that I was a coward and chickened out of doing it once again. Totally selfish, but I didn’t know where I was going or what I was going to do next.
Sure, I could get to this academy and everything would work out. Or I could end up going to New York. One thing that was for sure, I was never coming back here. Abe and I were over before we even began and the heartache of missing my neighborhood and my two best friends were bad enough without having to add potential boyfriend to the list.
“You sure, you don’t want to call him?” Ava asked me one more time as I stood at the door like a lost lamb.
Was I really doing this?
Just going to Boston, a place that I’d never been to before and never thought about going to? Fuck, everything about this felt wrong and then right at the same time.
I was leaving my friends, and memories of my mom. Someone who would have comforted me in the past and now all I had to feel near to her was a headstone. I’d buried two women that I loved most in the world in the last few weeks and it just felt too much.
I had to get the hell away from here. But I didn’t want to be away from them.
“Ava, I don’t know what I’m going to do without you guys being there.”
She cried, “I know, and we hate you going there.”
Teresa squeezed me. “I wish that you would just stay here. I hate the idea of you going so far, girl. Alone. We love you. You know that, right? We do love you.”
I nodded my head or tried to as my two best friends in the whole world squeezed me. The idea of not seeing them again started to dawn on me. Sure, we could chat on WhatsApp, Video at times, but as for the small hug that we were doing right now? I had no idea when or if we would ever do that again.
Holidays.
What was going to happen then?
Would I stay in the academy?
I’d be the only girl that didn’t have parents to stay with.
Fuck! I was an orphan. Something that I’d read about in Oliver Twist and someone that I’d never met. I’d never met someone that was an orphan and yet I was one right now.
My heart started to beat out of control as I hugged them even tighter.
I confessed, “I don’t want to go.”
I shook my head, as I repeated it over and over again.
Both of their dark eyes looked at mine as they said in unison, “Don’t!”
I felt as if I’d had a grand plan in the space of two seconds. “I could stay here with you?” I said to Teresa and she nodded her head like a bobbing doll.
“Yes. Yes!”
The driver walked up to me, and, as if he’d brought me back to reality the fact that I’d made a promise to Aunt Rose came back like a flash of lightening.
“Ms. Harris we need to get going. Otherwise, you’ll miss your flight,” the driver said, the one that turned up at the house to pick me up to drive me to the airport. I didn’t get it. I was going to the academy, one that I’d never heard off and Mom had no money when she died, yet she’d managed to arrange for a driver, the academy and my flight to Boston?
I should have asked more questions, but I was scared about what I’d find out.
Did I have some secret relative that no one knew about?
Maybe?
Secrets and lies, that seemed to be the theme of our family. I used to think that we were an open book that I knew everything that was going on in my little family’s lives. But it seemed that I knew nothing and that was why I had to say bye to my friends and get on that flight.
I had to find out about the academy and the mystery behind it. Some part of me felt that Mom had faked her death and maybe she was alive and taking care of me somehow. But I’d seen her body in the coffin, she was dead for real and I’d been watching too many movies and reading too many romance suspense novels.
Mom was dead and this was her last gift for me. I just had to figure out why?
Chapter Nine
I’d practically slept the whole flight. I hadn’t slept yesterday with the girls as we talked about old times and tried to act as if nothing was going to change. It was nice to think that we would always be friends.
But how was that possible if we didn’t see each other anymore? What would we be? Long distance friends? Sure, I knew that people had long distance relationships but long distance friends, was that even a thing?
I knew that as soon as I got off the plane, there would be another driver waiting for me. Anyone else would have loved the idea of having drivers picking them up and taking them places.
Mom would have loved it, for sure.
God, she loved the idea of being rich. I remember one time we got on a flight and were upgraded. She said that she would rather drive back home than get on a flight and go economy. Once you go up, it’s so hard to come back down. I never understood Mom’s motto, not until now. She said it and we laughed, but it meant nothing to me. I’d never been up or never really realized that I’d been until now.
I mean my life before now was Mom, Gran and spending weekends with my friends and then holidays with my Gran. My life was so perfect, and I didn’t even know it. I used to sit and wonder about my dad. Wonder what kind of man he was, because Mom said that he died and that I never got to know him. She had no photos of him, she said that it was too painful, and I respected that, but always thought that there was more to the story. And one day when she was ready she would share it.
But knowing that both my parents were dead, and I was an orphan? That stung. My aunt had the burden of making me come to this academy and now I had no friends. I had friends, but not near-by.
I hoped that I would have friends at the academy, but there was a 99% chance they were all friends there and I’d be the new girl. The new girl that desperately needed to fit in, because if I didn’t then I would be going to New York or maybe Aunt Rose just said that to me.
She could have done it just to make herself feel better.
So many emotions were running through my head that as I grabbed my bags, instead of going out to the arrival area with my head held high to look out for the sign with my name, I sank lower. My shoulders slumped and I wore a frown on my face, as excited arrivals rushed out to meet their loved ones. Family, friends, lovers and then there was me, I had nothing to look forward to. Just a driver with m
y name on a sign.
“One year,” Teresa said as I left, and I knew that she wanted me to keep that in my mind. One year and that was all I had to do, to get to my dream of going on to a university. I had to look out for me and stop wallowing in my sadness.
Her words and voice of encouragement made me lift my head up high. As I did, an elderly man who looked as if he was an Alfred in one of the Batman movies stood in front of me and asked, “Ms. Vicki can I take your bag? I’m Albert and I’ll be driving you to Hawk Academy."
I handed him my bag and followed him, curious about how he knew it was me and why he wasn’t carrying a sign. This was freaking me out at the same time, I wanted answers and once we got in the car, I hoped that he could answer a few of them.
****
“Have you ever been to Boston?” Albert asked.
I shook my head as I admired his British accent. I wanted to ask him if he was British, but then felt silly for doing so. And if he said yes, then so what? I wanted to start the conversation light and then move it on a bit. The art of polite conversation, something that teenagers had lost a long time ago, so Teresa’s dad would say whenever we would be talking on WhatsApp, Snapchat or even Twitter while we sat in the same room.
It was as if I was in this robotic frame of mind as he opened the car door and I stepped into the Range Rover. He opened the back door to stow my luggage, and I nervously began to feel tense. Back home when the other driver picked me up, that was ok. I was in my town, but now I was in a place so damn unfamiliar it just made me feel even more alone.
“Do you do this often?” I asked as he started the car and we started to leave the airport parking lot.
He laughed. “Ms. Vicki, this is my job.”
“Of course, I was just trying to think of something to say. Conversation. Interaction… I’ve never been driven anywhere before.”
“Never?”
I shrugged as I thought about what he was asking, “Of course, my mom drove me places and my aunt too, and my Gran when I went to visit her and my best friend Ava. The only one of us three to have a car.”