by Sarwah Creed
I wondered if I was developing a crush on him. I’d never been into the teacher/student thing, but I felt an urge to flirt with the handsome man who stood in front of me. But I would be kidding myself, apart from a few recent kisses I’d had no experience with flirting or passion. I wasn’t the kind of girl that knew how to flirt with someone my own age, let alone a lot older.
I started to get nervous about the idea of sitting in his office or maybe it was the idea of the confrontation that would await me once I was out of his office. I’d have to meet the other students, with Sarah there to…guide me. Whatever that meant when it was obvious she didn’t like me.
I had been in the academy for less than an hour and so far, I’d found the academy bully and been put in the principal’s office. My first minutes here had been memorable and preferably forgettable. It couldn’t get any worse, could it?
“Sit,” he said pointing at the chair which faced his desk.
A lone chair, and I wondered if he’d prepared his office for my arrival. Normally, in a principal’s office there were two chairs. One for each parent. His only had one.
I was thinking too much, something that often got me in trouble and resulted in a migraine. One that was already pulsing around in my brain, so I didn’t hesitate to sit down in the chair that he’d pointed out to me.
He slowly shut the door and a shiver went down my spine. What now? Was I supposed to talk now, explain my life to him? I didn’t know and my ears tuned in to any sound that might be heard in the room.
Silence. Well, he didn’t speak or make any sound at all. All I could hear was my own heartbeat rapidly beating as time stood still and that was the only movement in the room as far as I could hear. That heartbeat was the sound of survival. That sensation of being in a prison returned, and I was surprised by how familiar it felt now. I’d never been near a prison or even near a military base, but I had a feeling that this was what it would feel like, caught in the middle of trying to do the best I could to get to the next day and wanting to go home.
Only I didn’t have a home to go back to. The bank had foreclosed on it and Stuart had killed my mom. My friends were too far away to help me, and my aunt so devastated she could barely function, so she dumped me here. Yeah, this was prison, but I had to find a way to survive it. I’d survived so much already, this should be a piece of cake.
“So…” he said it so slowly that I didn’t know whether I was supposed to stand up for him to finish his sentence or keep sitting facing the wall of a painting that was so abstract that it had no meaning. I mean this thing looked like someone had just splashed some paint on it and put it in a gold frame and, like everything else in this room, looked old, but undoubtedly cost more than my whole closet and then some.
“I know that this is all new, but you have to understand that there are rules to be followed.”
Now, that he was in full-view I felt brave. I wondered if maybe he was the one who would answer some of my questions. I mainly had one that had been rolling around in my mind ever since I found out that I’d been enrolled in Hawk Academy.
“Did you know my mom?” I asked it softly but raised an eyebrow as I looked at him.
“Sorry?” he asked and hesitated before sitting down.
I repeated the question, knowing that he heard me, and understood, but was shocked by the question. Was it my audacity that shocked him, or simply the question? I wondered.
“Did you know my mom?”
He shook and then nodded his head. “I did a long time ago.”
Is that all he was going to say, that he knew her a long time ago? How? When? I couldn’t imagine Mom knowing someone like him. She never dated him, for sure. He was too sophisticated for her and probably charming in his own way, but for me he was just some hot guy, who was years older than me about to give me the low-down on the school’s rule book.
“And?” I prompted with a question in my eyes, hoping he’d elaborate.
“Miss Harris. What is it that you would like to know?” His face was impassive, but I could see there was tension around his eyes and a tightness at the corners of his lips that hadn’t been there before.
At last, I thought, I might get some answers. “I would like to know how, if my mom was broke and had no money for my maintenance, she could get me enrolled in this fancy academy? No one in my family could afford it. The only thing I could think of was that maybe you knew my mom or knew the person who enrolled me in this academy. I’d also like to ask why?”
By person I meant my dad. I didn’t know anything about him. Maybe it was his family that paid for this? A theory that Teresa came up with, the other day. God knew how much I missed her already.
Instead of answering my question he stayed on his own course and ignored what I’d said. I hated that and glared over at him as he stated, “The rules. I need you to understand them and to tell you that my door is always open. Any issues. Problems. You come to me. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.” I frowned at him now, my eyes narrowed, and my lips pursed because he’d just told me to come to him with any problems I had, yet he’d ignored the main burning question in my mind.
I looked away from him as I realized that I wasn’t going to get the answer to my question and I just wanted to leave the room as quickly as I entered it. I felt utterly defeated, tired and deflated.
I nodded my head slowly and said again, “Yes, sir.”
Every single rule that he threw at me after that I just answered in the same way. I didn’t hear any of the rules, I wasn’t interested and bored by that point, I’d find them out at some point. A pang of emptiness from my stomach made me frown again and I started to get frustrated at him. He could have printed out these stupid rules and information about all the things that I could and couldn’t do in the academy.
Then he went on about how I’d been privileged to get entry to the academy at such late notice and how I would reap the benefits of going to such a school. If I only paid attention and let the staff guide me into the excellence he expected from all of his students.
I knew one thing for sure, I didn’t know Mr. Hawk until now, but I hated him. That vague interest I’d had in him when he first came up to me was now replaced with intense dislike. He’d just ignored my questions, then told me to come to him with my problems. It had been very hard not to roll my eyes at him.
Not like the principal at my old school. He’d been kind and caring. This guy clearly didn’t care and just wanted us all to behave. I think the thing that made it all worse was that he knew I was alone in the world, that I’d only just lost my mom and that I was now an orphan. I knew he knew that because he said it in his long diatribe about how fortunate I was.
Fortunate? Hardly.
The way he said orphan made it sound like I had a disease. One that required me to have some kind of sign on me to make sure people knew I was alone in the world.
´Don’t touch her, she’s an orphan!´
Warning, warning!
My head was spinning as he said, “Do you understand everything and are you ready to join the academy?”
As if I was stuck in quicksand and the only way to be set free was repeating the same safe words over and over again, I repeated, “Yes, sir.”
He smiled and stood up. I followed and left his office. At last I could breath and finally eat.
He stood in front of me as I was ready to leave the office and gave me one last reminder. “Remember if there’s anything that you need then don’t hesitate to come and see me.”
This time, I didn’t say a thing, I just left. I couldn’t be bothered. His door may have always been open, but it didn’t have the answers that I needed or, rather, that I wanted.
Chapter Thirteen
“So, you’re Vicki,” said a voice as I swiftly walked out of the principal’s office. I felt singled out, as everyone knew I was the new girl. But then, I guess they would all know each other and would be aware that I was a stranger. It was a little unbalancing though,
when everyone knew who I was, but I didn’t know their names. After my brief encounter with Sarah, I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.
I nodded. Too tired, hungry, and scared to speak.
“No need to be nervous. Mr. Hawk called and said that I should show you your room and class. My name’s Claire Willis and like you, last year I was new too. So, I think that’s the reason he asked me to come and help you find your way around here. But, I bet you’re hungry, right?”
What gave it away? I wondered.
The big roaring sound that my stomach was making as she spoke?
“Good. Let’s grab a quick lunch before we head to your room. Don’t worry, your things are there.”
Her emerald eyes shone as she spoke and part of me was curious to ask what happened to Sarah. The other part didn’t care. I had been with her long enough to know that I had to stay as far away from her as possible.
“Sarah…”
Before I could even explain she laughed. “I know. That’s why Mr. Hawk called me.”
“How come you don’t call him Principal Hawk?”
“Ah, cause his doors always open.”
We both giggled at her revelation. It wasn’t so bad, after all. I’d been here a couple of hours and I managed to alienate the academy bully, irritate the principal and make a friend. I would say that I hadn’t done as badly as I’d thought I would do.
My eyes glanced up and down the antique hallway. One minute we would see students like Sarah and the next nothing. I was about to ask if the teachers wore uniforms too, but before I could ask, we reached the one place that I’d been wanting to get to.
The cafeteria.
It was filled with kids busy chatting and eating their food. I could smell macaroni and cheese, chicken, pie and that was enough for my stomach to start roaring and for my legs to pick up the pace.
“What’s your poison?”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I stared at her, surprised at the question. “Food!”
“Ok.” She laughed as she started to head to the front of the empty line.
I wondered for a split second if the food would be as good as it smelled but as my eyes fixated on it, I wondered if it would be as good as it looked in front of me.
It looked really good.
No, good wasn’t a way to describe what was in front of me. Good was probably a McDonalds, even though Teresa disagrees and constantly says that it’s all about the food at her favorite Chinese restaurant. Maybe she was right, but I would never let her know to her face. The burgers in front of me, made any burgers I’d seen before look as if they were part of the Weight Watchers menu, which I’d tried once and lasted three days.
“Is this an academy or heaven?” I smiled at Claire.
“You’re my type of girl. Not afraid to say what’s on your mind.”
With her permission, my hand extended to take a burger and fries along with some macaroni and cheese. The rest of what happened next was a blur until we sat opposite each other with a glass of water and my plate full, ready to be consumed. Then I smiled before I decided that the burger would be the first item I tackled. I had a bite, closed my eyes as the flavors of the cheese, pickles, onions and even the lettuce filled my senses. Damn, I hate salad — but not today! I didn’t know what was happening around me, but I also didn’t care.
Claire could have gone to the moon and back as I ate. It almost felt like this was my first meal in weeks. Well, it was in a few hours and I ate regularly, a bit too regularly according to Aunt Rose. But right now, it felt as if this meal tasted heavenly. I’d been told that was what hunger did, it made food taste even better because you hadn’t eaten for so long.
I was tired, but as I took another bite, the hunger started to ease. Yeah, I’d slept on the plane, but I hadn’t slept good last night. I’d been too busy worrying about this place and all my fears so far had come true, but as the hamburger disappeared before my eyes, one of my current needs had been satisfied. I wondered if the great food was enough to make me change my mind about this place.
“Girl, slow down. You’re going to give yourself indigestion. We’ve got around an hour for you to finish eating, for me to show you to your room, put on your uniform and get to your first class.”
“So how much eating time, do I have?” I noticed at that precise moment that her plate was empty and that she was watching me. This was the first time that I’d taken more than a second to study her. She was pretty. Not the ‘oh she has long dark hair and green eyes pretty, she’s the girl next door’ kind of pretty either. Nope, she was the cover of Vogue magazine pretty and for a split second, I remembered thinking the same thing about Sarah. If the girls were all this good looking, then what the heck about the guys? I avoided the ones that stared at me as I headed to Mr. Hawk’s office, but now, I wished that I’d had a peek. All of a sudden, I felt like the ugly duckling, not only on the outside for my looks but inside too, because I was an orphan.
“A penny for your thoughts.” She smiled and for a second, I thought that Ava was speaking. She had a way of making me feel better with a smile. The same way that Claire was doing right now.
“Is this a Vogue school?”
She crossed her legs and arms as she swung her hair to the side and asked, “What’s a Vogue school?”
“Like everyone here looks as if they belong on the cover of Vogue. And I just don’t belong in a joint like this.”
“Joint?”
Yeah, I needed to think about what I was saying and the way that I was saying it.
“Yeah, as if you’re all part of some club. That people like me don’t belong in.”
“Normal people?” She raised an eyebrow as she asked her question.
I was just about to agree, when I realized that wasn’t what I meant. The smart girl was all of a sudden feeling kind of stupid. Something that I’d experienced once with Teresa’s brother and vowed to never feel ever again.
Just that this time, it was with a stranger and it should have made me feel even less embarrassed, but I was in an academy and every step I took for a while would be watched. Judged. Knowing that my first words and actions would have a lasting effect on her, just made me feel even worse.
“I’m just playing with you.” She spoke with a soft laugh that made me breathe a huge sigh of relief.
“You gonna eat up or do you want to see more of the Vogue people?” She quirked her head to one side, that dark hair and those perfectly green eyes shining in the sunlight that seemed to bounce from one perfectly groomed head to the next, that is, until it got to mine.
I laughed at the idea of seeing both more beautiful people and eating even more. It wasn’t possible! I wanted to finish my glass of water, but I needed to get to the bathroom as soon as possible, before I exploded and embarrassed myself even more. I wondered if that was possible, but I didn’t want to find out if it was true or not.
Chapter Fourteen
“You ready to go out and face the big Vogue world?”
My nerves started to kick in as I’d finished up in the bathroom and walked out of a cubicle to look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t look anything like Claire. I’d thought the uniforms would put us on a level playing field, but they didn’t. I sprayed a spritz of the perfume Mom bought me for my last birthday and dropped it in my pocket.
I might not look like a Vogue model, but I could smell like one. I’d put on the uniform left for me in my room and frowned a little. The uniform clearly didn’t fit. The buttons of my shirt were about to pop open, my butt could probably be seen if I bent down at a 45 degree angle, and as for the blazer? Well, it was on, but I didn’t know how much longer that would last. I felt as if I was about to turn into the Incredible Hulk and the last thing I wanted to do was face anyone, let alone Vogue people.
“Are you sure that this is my uniform? I mean it’s not even my size. I can’t even breathe.”
She reassured me, “You’re just being paranoid, of course it’s your size. Besides it
had your name in it.”
That it did, but there was something wrong with me. My stomach was killing me, I was sweating like crazy and the parts of the shirt that did fit were just glued to me. I didn’t want to go out there, because I just didn’t feel well and everything about the uniform was wrong. The only thing that did fit were my shoes, and I had a feeling that was because I brought those with me. Oh the knee-high socks fit too. Unfortunately, I couldn’t pull them up high enough to cover my whole body.
Oh, how I felt like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. I wanted to click my heels and just go home. But this was home for one year. I repeated that thought over and over again in my head and it helped me take Claire’s hand and walk out of the door. I could only take baby steps.
Any steps bigger than that and someone would have seen more than my butt. They would see the Mickey Mouse underwear that I was wearing. They looked cute and reminded me of that time I’d been to Disney World with Mom and for some crazy reason it was the only thing that I could find to kind of remind me that she was still around even if she was glued to my butt.
I avoided a couple of eyes as I walked through the hallway. Everyone had finished lunch and their class. Yes, I was in the bathroom for that long. I didn’t want to have an accident. And we were on our way to the second to last class of the day. It seemed that Claire and I were in the same classes.
Coincidence?
Maybe.
Or just the start of a good friendship.
I hoped.
No, I prayed. Something I’d done once, and Gran still died. Well, I was giving God the benefit of the doubt and hoping that he wouldn’t let me down again. I was a good student. Had my first kiss at eighteen and was still a virgin. That had to count for something.