by Sarwah Creed
“For fuck’s sake. Right.” I sighed. It wasn’t likely that I’d win anything, much less a ritual I was too afraid to ask about. Did they sacrifice bunnies and make us drink their blood or something? Nope, I didn’t want to know just yet.
My shoulders sank down as Goldie took out her phone to answer a text and Ruby tapped her fingers like she was antsy and ready to go. I watched them both and wondered if they were really becoming my friends. I’d had so many people turn on me lately that I just couldn’t believe it.
We left the cafeteria and separated a little while later, so I headed back to the house and to my room. I’d showered and changed into my pajamas when my phone rang. I smiled when I saw it was Aunt Rose.
“Hi, Aunt Rose,” I said as I sat down on the bed. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, sweetie, how are you?” Her voice filled the silent room with a cheerful tone that changed as she continued. “Learn any big secrets about the big bad academy yet?”
I laughed at her conspiratorial whisper and groaned. “You wouldn’t believe this place, Aunt Rose! So much has happened, I wouldn’t know where to start.”
Then it hit me, Aunt Rose was a journalist, maybe she was just hunting for a scoop?
I told myself not to be so stupid, she was my aunt. She wouldn’t use me for information, would she?
After the time I’ve had of it lately, I wouldn’t put it past anyone to be out to do me harm or use me in some way. I decided it was best not to tell her a whole lot about anything, at least not until I knew what her intentions were.
“Well?” she asked when I hesitated too long. “Are you going to tell me how it’s going?”
“It’s fine, Aunt Rose, really,” I blatantly lied, as my brain turned to wondering about her intentions. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, honey, it’s normal, isn’t it? Besides, I’d be curious to know how your mom paid for you to go there. Any answers on that yet?” Her voice was silky smooth, as if she wasn’t implying my mom was a bad person that earned her money in indecent ways.
“Really, Aunt Rose?” I said in a tight tone, anger a flood of hot blood in my veins. I was so angry suddenly, angry at everything and everyone. How dare she insinuate my mom was a bad person? The one person I should have been able to count on was Aunt Rose and then she gave me this?
“What Vicki? What’s wrong? I can hear you’re upset, but why?” Aunt Rose answered as if she hadn’t done anything wrong at all. “I didn’t mean to upset you. But, well, I think I have a right to know if she had a bank account we don’t know about. Or something like that.”
“You only called me to find out if Mom had some hidden stash of money you could somehow get ahold of, didn’t you? You dumped me in this hellhole to get me off your hands and now you want to get your hands on the money you think Mom had stashed away. Well, I can tell you right now, I’m done with people using me. You don’t give a fuck if I’m being tortured here or not, that’s why you haven’t called, isn’t it? Well, fuck you, and have a nice life, Aunt Rose.” I pushed the end call button just as my hands began to shake from the force of my anger.
I felt kind of stupid now, at the way I’d exploded, but I was seriously done with life right now, and with anyone that wanted anything from me. I turned the bedside lamp off and plunged myself into darkness. My phone began to vibrate then, so I turned off the notifications in the settings. I knew she’d keep calling, but my phone would stay on the nightstand, silent and unmoving.
I brushed a tear away as it slid down my cheek in the now-quiet darkness. How had my life become so topsy-turvy? What had I done to deserve all of this? I couldn’t figure it out and cried myself to sleep, lost, alone, and even a little afraid.
Chapter Twenty Six
Wednesday morning dawned cold and rainy, much like the day I arrived. I thought back to that day as I dressed and braided my hair. I’d been so full of hope that day. I’d been afraid I wouldn’t fit in, and boy how right had I been about that!
Too fucking right, I thought, as I picked up the bag that held my books and slung it over my shoulder. I didn’t fit in and my only friends were a girl that only talked to me because her daddy’s money couldn’t buy her popularity like it had at her old school, and a girl that turned into a robot at the merest hint of the word Friday. Not the most likely of people that I’d choose to hang around in my old life.
I paused on my way out of the door as I thought of Ava and Teresa, back in Utah without me. They’d be meeting at the lockers, talking about what they’d missed in the fifteen minutes it took them to get to school, happy together. Without me.
That thought stung me deeply, even though I knew it wasn’t their fault. My two best friends would move on without me. That was the way of life, right?
I walked into the academy with a bland face, my eyes busy taking in what everyone was doing, scanning for threats as I weaved in and out of clusters of bodies. Students lined the hallways, all talking quietly, but loud enough I felt the buzz of their voices in the air. I scanned for a friendly face, and for a moment, I caught sight of one of the Hawk twins. I wasn’t sure which one, but I nearly tripped when his full lips tilted up into a smile.
I looked away, terrified of some new assault by Sarah or Claire, or even the twin himself. I wondered where the other one was, they were so rarely apart. I ducked my head down and moved my feet faster to get away from whatever might be headed my way. I’d learned my lesson with that bunch. I’d been chosen as the whipping girl, and the only way to stop it was to be chosen as the winner of this ritual thing I kept hearing about.
I saw Goldie and Ruby wave at me but ignored them as I scooted into my first classroom and sat down. I almost felt like there were snarling dogs on my trail, eager to tear me apart, I was so afraid of the twins and those girls. I slid into my seat and held onto the top of the desk like I was about to be torn away from it while I caught my breath.
Students started to filter into the class and I finally felt my pulse slow down. The teacher came in to take the seat at their desk at the front of class and my eyes closed in relief. That meant the students had all come in without incident. I’d kept my head down so I hadn’t seen who had come in and who hadn’t, but they must all be here, if the teacher came in and sat down.
I leaned down to get my book out of my bag so I could take out the pages of notebook paper covered in my homework that I’d stuck into the book. My fingers brushed against something soft, furry, and I yelped as I pulled my hands out. Everyone turned to look at me and I stared around the room. I hadn’t opened the bag since Ruby and Goldie found me in the cafeteria last night. I’d finished my homework and had been sitting there, playing a game on my phone, when they came in. I hadn’t opened it since then, and now, there was something…in it.
I held my hand up, my heart busy thudding away at my ribs again, as I waited for the teacher to acknowledge me. He was busy checking our names off a list and didn’t notice my hand up right away.
“Miss Harris, you’ve only just arrived in class. Can anything be so urgent that you need to go out before class even begins?” His droll voice irritated me, and I couldn’t think of what to say that wouldn’t make everyone laugh at me.
“Um, no sir,” I answered weakly, and glanced down at my bag. Don’t look, Vicki, just wait until after class, go to Mr. Hawk’s office, and let him find out what’s in it.
Everyone still tittered as I pulled my hand down and turned as far away from my bag as I could get. Whatever was in there didn’t matter, not until class was finished. Honestly, I didn’t really want to know because I knew it would just horrify me.
I couldn’t concentrate as the minutes slowly ticked by. All I could think about was what might be in my bag. It could be anything, it might even be something nice, but I had a feeling it wasn’t. Not with the way my life had turned into a train wreck.
It was going to be something nasty and grisly. I just knew it was.
The teacher droned on as if he was going to win some kind of
contest in how to bore his students to tears but, at last, the bell rang, and we were free to go to our next class. I bent down, gingerly picked up my bag, and held it out in front of me. I heard a few titters of laughter behind me but ignored them as I walked to the principal’s office.
I told his secretary that I needed to see him, and she told me to take a seat. I saw the way she looked at me over her glasses, like I was a bug that needed to be inspected. It sent my confidence that much lower. Even the secretary didn’t like me. Fucking hell.
I had started to tap my foot by the time My. Hawk came out to invite me into his office. I took a deep breath and walked into his office.
“Miss Harris, what can I do for you today?” He asked it in a way that said he wanted to add more to it. Such as ‘as if I haven’t already done enough’. His bored expression said much the same.
I was nervous now and felt rather silly. It was just something in my bag, no need to panic, right? He’d think I was even more stupid than he already thought I was, no doubt. But, he was the only person I really had to talk to here, the only person that could offer me protection. I had to do this in front of him.
“It’s like this, I went to class right away this morning, I didn’t even have breakfast. I just wanted to get here and get the day over with.” I knew I was blathering on, but I had to explain myself, didn’t I? “So yeah, anyway, I went, opened my bag, and reached in to take my book out. Only I felt something…”
“Something?” he asked, that dark eyebrow of his lifted over his left eye quizzically.
“Yes. Something. Something…furry.” I felt a shudder run through me and stared at my shoes on the floor. How do I make myself heard without making an even bigger fool out of myself?
“Let’s find out what it is then. Perhaps it’s only a sweater or a scarf you forgot. I can’t open the bag, so you’ll have to, I’m afraid, Miss Harris.” He was still in his seat, leaned back in the leather executive chair, like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Like I wasn’t about to lose my mind in this horrific world I’d found myself living in. I sighed, walked to his desk, and put my bag down. After a moment to breath deep, I pulled the zipper across the black bag and opened it. With one more deep breath to steady myself, I upended the bag on his immaculate desk.
Three books fell out, the rest were still in my locker, as well as my notebooks, pens and pencils, and something wrapped hastily in toilet paper. Something black and furry with a long, pink…tail.
A squeak of frightened shock escaped from my throat as I slapped my hand over my mouth.
“Oh dear.” I heard Mr. Harris say and looked up at him. “I do believe that’s a rat.”
“Oh no!” I felt nausea rise in my stomach. How long had it been in there?
“Have you left your bag unattended at all?” he asked me, as if it was my fault someone had stuffed a dead rat in my bag.
“No!” I spit out, reacting to his tone. “It’s always with me.”
But…someone might have put the rat in during class, when I wasn’t paying attention. Or while I was asleep. I hadn’t seen one of the Hawk’s boys this morning, maybe he’d been hiding out, waiting on me to leave my room so he could crawl out of my closet.
But that was just crazy. Why would he do that?
Or maybe, just maybe it was Ruby or Goldie. I’d left my bag with them last night, when I’d slipped off to the bathroom for five minutes. I didn’t like to think it was them. They were my friends, I thought. Besides, I couldn’t see prissy little Goldie touching anything dead, even poorly wrapped in toilet paper. And Ruby was too timid to do anything that mean.
“I’ll dispose of it, Miss Harris. Please go back to class now.” He stared down at the rat with his lip curled in distaste.
“What? That’s it? Just,” I flapped my arms around angrily, lost as to why he wanted to just dismiss the whole thing, “like there wasn’t a dead rat taking up residence in my bag? Like someone didn’t put that fucking thing in there?”
I blanched as I realized I’d sworn in front of the principal, but he just shook his head and held out a hand to calm me, his palm down. “Calm down, Miss Harris. You need to get back to class so whoever did this doesn’t realize that you know. So that they won’t know they got to you. You have to act like it’s a normal day.”
“What, but why?” I stared at him, aghast. I was so done with all of this shit, so very fucking done. “Do you not understand that I’ve had enough?”
“I do, but Miss Harris, you’d be giving up an opportunity unlike any you’ll ever get again. I hate to say it, but any college you apply to will want you if you apply from this academy. Scholarships are not unheard of either. If you let some hazing get to you, you’ll throw that chance away.”
“I don’t care.” I breathed through my nose in an attempt to contain my anger. “I want to be out of here, on a plane back to Utah, tonight.”
“Miss Harris, please.” He quickly grabbed the rat, threw it in the small trash can at the side of his desk, and sat back down, his hand already on a bottle of alcohol gel. He pushed down the pump twice and rubbed his hands together vigorously. “Now, please, listen to me.”
“I don’t have to. I’m eighteen, I can leave if I want to.” That part was almost petulant, and I felt like a child in the midst of a temper tantrum.
“Yes, you’re right. You can leave if you wish, that’s always the option, but I didn’t take you for a quitter.”
My shoulders slumped and anger drained out of me as he continued.
“You have been through a lot, I understand that, Vicki, but you can’t just give up. Your mom wouldn’t want that for you.”
Guilt gnawed at my guts so hard I didn’t even realize he’d used my first name. I stared at my shoes again, lost for words. He was right, and even though I was angry at my mom for leaving me to fend for myself, I knew he was right. Mom would have wanted me to stay here, to fight it out, and make something of myself.
Or I could run away. I sniffled up my tears and straightened up. “Fine. But, I can’t deal with this kind of shit anymore. You have to get these people under control. Do you understand me?”
“I understand.” He met my eyes with a look that I thought might be contrition, but I wasn’t sure.
“Fine.” I didn’t say anything else, I just packed my bag once again and left his office.
I hate this place, I thought as I stomped through the halls and to my next class. I hated the kids, the teachers, the building, all of it. And maybe Mr. Hawk was right, maybe I did have to go through hell to get to something better in the end. That didn’t mean I had to like it. Or them.
Chapter Twenty Seven
“You have to be in it to win it.” That’s what Goldie said as she held up her hand, a white envelope flashed in the light, her name engraved in gold letters on the front a prism of golden sparks.
It matched the one I’d received, only mine had my name on it, of course.
“This isn’t a game, Goldie,” I admonished her as I looked down at Ruby, sad for her that she hadn’t received an invitation as she’d wanted so desperately. She’d been sitting on the floor for an hour now and she moved over a little to let Goldie walk in after her grand entrance.
“I haven’t got one yet,” Ruby said from the floor, her gaze accusatory.
“What? You think we had something to do with that?” Goldie smirked at Ruby and flipped her golden hair behind her golden shoulders. I knew they were golden because she had on a light blue sweater with a wide collar that meant the shoulders slipped down constantly to reveal bare flesh.
We’d agreed to meet in my room later that evening on the pretext of studying. The envelope left on my pillow and the one that Goldie had brought in with her changed that. Ruby had showed up early, and I could tell something was wrong with her. She hadn’t said what, but I understood it now, as she pulled her dark red hoodie up over her head.
Goldie jumped up and paced around in the small room. “I hate to say it girls
, but you’re in for a fight.”
“I’m sorry?” I said to her, my eyes pulled down with amusement. “You think I give a fuck?”
“Of course, you do! If you win this competition the nightmare ends for you. For us, it’s just the beginning.” She shrugged and pursed her lips prettily. “Not that I’m worried that you will win. I’d be more worried about Ruby.”
“And is that why she hadn’t received an envelope,” I asked pointedly, my eyes glaring at her shrewdly. “It seems odd. We were all supposed to get one, all three of us, but Ruby hasn’t received one?”
I tapped at my chin in a smartass way, as if thinking about it, but I wasn’t, I was fairly certain that she’d taken the invitation. It seemed suspicious to me.
I’d finally seen Goldie for what she truly was when she came prancing in like she owned the world and started to lord it over us that she was going to win…the ritual. Did you really ‘win’ something like that? It would seem to me that you’d be chosen at a ritual, not win it.
“I wouldn’t know,” Goldie said and tried to look innocent, but I wasn’t buying it. I decided to let it go, that was a battle I couldn’t win right now, not without some kind of proof.
“Right. I’m sure you’ll get one, Ruby, it was probably just misplaced.” I looked down at the girl with long, dark hair and smiled awkwardly at her.
“Thanks,” she moaned like she’d lost her puppy and I almost rolled my eyes.
Was this so-called ritual really this fucking important? If we kept our heads down and stayed out of their way, they’d leave us alone. Maybe.
“I’m going back to our room,” Ruby stood up and spoke to Goldie specifically. “I’ll look and see if I can find out why I didn’t get an invite. Or maybe it fell behind the bed or something.”
She picked up her bag and put her book away. I could tell by the way she looked at her feet that she was really upset about this. I should probably be kinder to her, I thought, but I couldn’t do it. Something told me to hold myself back, some part of me, was afraid to trust anyone.