Unable to stand it any longer, he excused himself from the group and escaped to his bedchamber. The problem was, once inside, he gained no relief. Restless energy flowed through his body. Would Grace show up as she did the previous night?
If she did, what would he do? He couldn’t exactly make her change her mind, considering he couldn’t marry her. Nor could he toss her on the bed and slake his lust. Not only would she be scandalized, but after that, she would understandably never want to share a bed with any man.
His wedding night had been filled with such excitement and anticipation until he’d joined Tabitha in her room. She had bundled herself up and wouldn’t allow him to remove one article of clothing or the blanket from her body. He’d also been barred from touching her. Confused and unsure, he’d tried to move slow and ease her passage only to discover she wasn’t a virgin.
To further humiliate him, she took the time afterward to inform him she’d had much better, and his ineptness encouraged her to never allow him in her room again. He’d been heartbroken.
Roughly running his hands down his face, Braiden tried to rip the memory from his thoughts. That had been the last time he’d shared anyone’s bed. Prior to that experience, he’d never heard one word of complaint, but Tabitha had been the first woman of the peerage he’d been with.
In an attempt to get some sleep, he threw himself down on the bed, deciding if Grace came, she’d have to wake him up. But she never came, nor did he sleep. Finally in the early hours, his mind gave him the reprieve he sought.
The next morning he opted to forgo breakfast since he felt as though he’d died. Recalling Tabitha had never produced a positive effect on him, and when combined with Grace’s insult, he shouldn’t have expected to sleep well.
“Braiden,” Brianna caught his attention as he aimlessly walked through the hall. “Would you mind escorting my sister through the gardens? I don’t understand why she insists on seeing to the plants herself, but I can’t bear the thought of her out there alone.”
“I thought Thomas had been doing an excellent job of aiding her,” he muttered dryly before he could stop himself.
She raised an eyebrow. “If you don’t wish to, I’ll be happy to ask—”
“No. I’m honored. My intention was only to remark upon how close they’ve become.”
The smile crossing Brianna’s face made him feel guilty for wanting the relationship to end. Obviously Thomas had gained favor in their house. What would Brianna think if Grace chose him? Would he be as readily accepted as his cousin?
“They have, and I daresay Grace is happy about it.” Her face fell a little. “Don’t you approve?”
Realizing his face didn’t betray the correct emotion, he forced himself to appear pleased. “I would be overjoyed with the opportunity to have Grace in my family in any capacity.”
Brianna’s eyes widened slightly. The woman missed nothing. He would have to take more care with his words when she was around. The last thing he needed would be a matchmaker attempting to set him up with Grace. He couldn’t handle that.
“Well, she’s preparing to go out, so you should get there before she leaves without you.”
He inclined his head then set off toward the door. This was a perfect opportunity. He fully intended to find out why Grace discounted him so easily.
Grace finished fastening her coat, then opened the door. The rushing cold filled the room, but she ducked down and exited regardless. Since Brianna had warned her not to spend too much time with Thomas, she decided to make her rounds alone.
What he told her last night still confused and disturbed her. How could Braiden be jealous when he didn’t want her? In the event his cousin had the right of it, she’d done her best to flirt and appear to enjoy herself, although she’d been too focused on the man glaring behind her. He’d clearly been angry, but Grace did not believe Braiden was jealous.
Brianna’s efforts were useless. She would have to tell her sister to stop arranging meetings for her. After all, no good would come from her spending time with either man.
When she reached back to close the door, Braiden stood behind her. His eyes were guarded, and he didn’t look pleased to be there.
“What are you doing here?” she asked as he stepped out of the house.
“It’s a perfect day to take a walk outside.” He shrugged. “I’m just seizing the opportunity. Care to join me?”
She examined him from the corner of her eye. He appeared to be sincere. Although she didn’t relish the upcoming conversation, she knew she couldn’t avoid it either.
“That sounds lovely.” She took his arm, and they descended into the garden.
Neither one of them spoke while she checked on her plants. Considering how cold the weather was, the plants didn’t need tending to, but she enjoyed the daily escape from the manor and all the people.
“Is that the last one?” Braiden asked as she recovered another plant.
“Yes. We can turn back now.”
“If you like. Or we can continue on simply to enjoy the day.”
Nodding, she again wondered if he’d been jealous of her and Thomas. If it was to be believed, mentioning his cousin couldn’t hurt.
“I was surprised to see you out here,” she began. “Lately Thomas has taken to accompanying me on my daily walks.”
Braiden stiffened beside her. Her heart lightened as a smile emerged on her face. He was jealous. Hope filled her. Perhaps he did want to marry her.
“Then I hope you don’t find me lacking in his stead. Besides, Thomas has other matters to attend to.”
“More important than me?” She looked up at him and fluttered her eyelashes.
“Never. How could anyone hold anything as more important than you?”
His voice emerged gravelly, and as they stood there, gazing at each other, she noticed his eyes fell to her lips more than once. Seizing the opportunity, she pressed her side closer to his body.
“Your warmth helps cut the cold,” she explained.
“Then let’s go back.”
“No. I like it here.” She gripped his arm a little tighter, but he turned and she released him.
He held his arms out to her. “Will you allow me to warm you?”
Prickles of awareness shot through her skin. His eyes beckoned her with promises of more than a reprieve from the cold. Should she accept him? After telling him she didn’t want to marry him, she wasn’t sure she should. But how could she refuse something she wanted so badly?
Without another thought, she stepped into his embrace and melted into him. The bulky clothing didn’t allow her to feel his body like before, but it didn’t matter. She was in his arms.
“Better?” he asked.
“Quite. I like it right here.”
“Is that so? Now you’ve made me wonder why. Are you enjoying the heat of my body, or is it something else entirely you crave?”
His lips neared her as he spoke and breathing became difficult. She wanted to tell him exactly what she craved but couldn’t. Would he kiss her anyway? Her knees felt weak, making her clutch on to him.
“Tell me.” Another few inches closer.
How could she speak while on the verge of death? Desperation clawed at her while she fought to remain motionless. Then his lips were gone as he turned his head.
Drained from the anticipation of her racing heart, she laid her head against his shoulder. Why didn’t he kiss her? Should she have said something? Was it too late?
“Now that we are alone, I have to ask you something.” His tone was strained as if he, too, wasn’t pleased they hadn’t kissed. The thought gave her some comfort.
“Yes?” she whispered, watching the steam from his breath surround his face.
“Why did you change your mind about marriage?”
/> “Oh, I haven’t changed my mind. I intend to marry.”
She heard his sharp intake of breath within his body. Being so close to him and able to feel and hear his reactions brought a new level of intimacy she’d never imagined.
“I mean in regard to me.”
Having to play her part, she reluctantly pulled back from him to look into his face. The loss of his body pressed against hers made her feel depressed.
“I was under the impression you had no desire to marry me. You practically said so in your bedchamber.”
“I don’t recall that part of the conversation.”
“You didn’t say it with words. Your panic was enough. Why are you asking? Have you changed your mind?”
“There is nothing to change. You would be better off not marrying me, and that is the end of it.”
She wanted to ask why. He apparently didn’t see himself as having much value. Did he believe his love for Tabitha ruined him for all women? She didn’t want to take Tabitha’s place in his heart. She would settle for a much lesser amount.
“I don’t understand you at all,” she admitted.
He laughed mirthlessly. “Isn’t that the way for everyone? I feel much the same about you.”
As a chilling breeze seeped into her skin, she wiggled back into his arms. “I don’t see why. I’m fairly open about myself. What could possibly confound you about me?”
“Too much, but if you’d like an example, I’ll supply one. A few moments ago I got the feeling you wanted to kiss me, but you didn’t.”
“Perhaps you were mistaken when you assumed I had the desire.”
This conversation was dangerous. Telling him exactly how much she wanted him wouldn’t serve her purpose while he believed himself to be unattainable.
“Never.” He drew her head up to face his and leaned so close she could feel his breath. “I can prove exactly how much you want this.”
His lips moved against hers with his every word. The almost-kiss drove her mad. How could she refuse him now? Unable to resist, she gave in, pressing her mouth firmly against his.
The sensation of returning home after an extended holiday enveloped her. Desire overwhelmed as a sense of freedom twisted through her. Braiden must have felt it too. He relaxed his body and pulled her tighter.
She loved kissing him. Unlike the sweet seduction of the last time, his mouth moved urgently as he demanded. Never one to back down, she met him eagerly and made demands of her own. Together they waged a war where both were victorious.
Her body hummed, instinctively seeking out more. With her gloves and thick clothing, she felt the distance between them acutely. Remembering how he looked without a shirt made her yearn to gaze upon him again. As if in agreement, her hands slid down his chest.
Braiden pulled back. She shivered at the loss of his body and his mouth. Why did anyone ever willingly stop kissing? Given the opportunity, she’d spend an entire day in Braiden’s arms with his mouth sealed upon hers.
“Does it always feel like this?” she asked.
“Like what?” His intense eyes captured her as if willing her to say something incriminating.
Instantly guarded, she shrugged her shoulders. “You should know what I mean. I wasn’t doing that alone.”
“You mean like the whole world has stopped and time only exists in that one moment? Like your hands itch as your mind gives the order to clasp the other person to you and never let go? Like you couldn’t imagine living forever without experiencing something so powerful again?”
She couldn’t breathe. His words fanned the fire raging within her body. Was he describing his experience just now? Or was he teasing her? She swallowed.
“I suppose you could say that,” she choked out.
“Then, no. It isn’t always like that.”
“Oh.” Disappointment rushed in like the chilling fingers of the wind tugging on her skirt.
“Unless you are kissing the right person.”
Her eyes met his again and his expression made her shiver. Too intense. Too much.
“Braiden, I—”
“You kiss with your whole self. Not like a woman who wants to marry my cousin.”
There it was. She’d given herself away. No point in denying it. But she couldn’t let it go. Not until he realized who she should marry.
“It appears you don’t know me as well as you thought. I’m getting cold. Let’s return to the manor.”
Without waiting for him to react, she spun around and headed back. Braiden may believe he’d won, but she would prove him wrong. He thought this game was about making her want to marry him, but he had it backwards. It was about making him want to marry her. With any luck, by the end of the holidays, she’d be betrothed. To him.
Chapter 6
Braiden gazed up at the portraits of the past Marquis of Stonemede as he and Abigail walked through the portrait hall. Similar places existed in his estates and at his townhouse, but after his father’s downfall, he hadn’t entered those rooms.
“You seem different,” Abigail remarked.
“How so?”
“I don’t know exactly, but you aren’t the same man I saw in London last month.” She stopped walking and faced him. “I’ve heard many stories about you living inside a brandy bottle, but I never believed them. Now I’m beginning to think they were true, but perhaps not any longer.”
Wincing, Braiden allowed the guilt to touch him for a second. He hadn’t wanted his sister to hear about his drinking habits. Most of the time a bottle of brandy was the only thing that helped him through the day.
“I hope your observations are seeing me for the better.”
“Without question. I also have a theory as to the cause of the change.”
Discomforted with his sister’s intuition, he forced a laugh and took her arm to resume walking. “Yes. Richard doesn’t have enough brandy. Or at least he keeps it under the watchful gaze of his butler.”
She rolled her eyes. “As a duke who is not getting any younger, you do realize everyone expects you to remarry and produce an heir, don’t you?”
“People tend to center their attention on matters that don’t concern them.”
“Does it make a difference to say I agree with them?”
Keeping his lips clamped together, Braiden focused his attention ahead. Of course it mattered. Abigail was his family, and he owed her much for his blindness to what she had endured with their father. But how could she ask so much from him?
“At this time, I don’t see how adding a wife could possibly improve my quality of life. I’ve done it before and it didn’t . . .” He stopped on the verge of admitting his unhappiness with Tabitha. “. . . end well.”
“But do you believe Tabitha would have wanted you to remain alone and suffer?”
Yes, he answered silently. The woman had taken pleasure in his misery. The title of duchess and his wealth were the only things his wife had wanted from him. Once she obtained those, he became useless to her.
Abigail ignored his silence and continued. “I don’t think so. And I believe there is a woman out there who can make you happy again.”
“But what would she get out of the arrangement?” His bitterness seeped into his words.
With a laugh, his sister hugged his arm. “I don’t believe you have ever seen your own worth. Although an endearing quality, it’s also irritating.”
“And as my sister, I suppose it remains your duty to point that out.”
“Speaking of my duty, could I ask you to do me a favor? When the snow began to fall, Grace took Joseph and Amber out to play. Would you mind checking on them?”
Looking into Abigail’s eyes, he couldn’t see any ulterior motive for sending him out with Grace. He shook off the thought. His sister was pu
re, and she had no reason to take up deception, at least not with him.
“Certainly.”
After he left Abigail with the other ladies, he went outside. As he rounded the corner, the sound of playfulness and laughter greeted him. The melody of it brought out the essence of Grace. She gave of herself willingly and never appeared with a shortage of smiles. He couldn’t imagine anyone leaving her presence without feeling lighter from the experience.
“Braiden!” Joseph yelled, bringing all attention to him. “Come play with us.”
“I don’t know. It looks dangerous,” he admitted after spying Grace with snow covering her hair and his niece, Amber, whom she held in her arms.
“Come on, Braiden. Play with us.” Grace’s breathless voice brought out many connotations in her words, none of them related to the snowball fight they’d been having.
So absorbed in his thoughts and the uncomfortable effect it had on his body, he didn’t notice Grace’s intentions until a wad of snow exploded against his chest. Her face portrayed innocence, but he knew exactly who had attacked him.
“Joseph,” she laughingly scolded. “How could you?”
“It wasn’t me, Aunt Grace. You—”
The boy’s voice cut off as Grace lobbed a snowball at him.
“I suppose this means war,” Braiden declared as he bent over to collect ammunition.
As they tossed snow and playful insults at each other, Braiden found laughter came easier to him than ever before. He’d not participated in a fight like this since Eton, and the joy of it made him wonder why he ever stopped. It came as no surprise that Grace reintroduced him to the carefree activity.
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