by Kent, Julia
I want to give you everything, but I’ll start with my heart.
I lift my head to look at him, and Arion holds out his hand. When I walk over and take it, he puts something in my palm. Slowly, I uncurl my fingers and find a keyring with three keys.
“I’m following up my heart with your freedom. One key goes to the bar below, the main door so you can get inside no matter what. The second goes to this door. And the third goes to your own car. I know you aren’t ready for more, and we can move at whatever pace you like. Of course, there is a ring that goes in that box, and I hope to put it on your finger someday. I gave you the box because I want you to know my intentions.”
His gift to me is beyond precious and perfect. My heart is overflowing with love as Arion takes me in his arms, and I know I won’t ever ask him to let me go again.
THE END
EXCLUSIVE CONTENT from Kelly
SPECIAL BONUS SCENE – NO ONE'S ANGEL
Kelly Walker
**
The ring box is on my pillow when I wake up, greeting me like the old friend it’s become. Stifling a yawn, I reach over and prop open the lid with my thumb.
Sure enough, there’s a tiny folded note inside, and my heart beats faster with anticipation. Even though Axel’s made this routine, constantly leaving me little notes in the box I know once held the ring that he’ll give me when he thinks I’m ready, it’s not gotten boring. Each time I open the box I can’t help but wonder if this is the time it will be a ring instead of a note. And I think that’s his plan. He wants me to always know that he’s always thinking about our future, even as he bides his time. Waiting for me, always. The notes are usually pretty exciting too.
Unfortunately, this one is a rather mundane.
Had to run to the bar, I’ll be back by six. Wear a dress.
Oh well, it’s not like every moment can be filled with sex and sweet words. He and I, we’re in it for the long haul, and we’re more than that. And I sort of like that he makes even the mundane romantic. Who am I kidding? I like everything about him.
Especially the fact that he left me coffee on the nightstand, because he knows if I can’t have him when I first wake up, then I damn sure better have coffee. A girl’s got to have her vices.
The room is bright, and I resist the urge to pull the covers over my head. First thing in the morning with the birds chirping and sunlight infiltrating the window, I can’t help missing our little apartment over the bar with its dark classy walls and lack of sunlight. At night though, cradled in Arion’s arms, I am grateful for the privacy. And switching apartments with Chelsea worked out well for her too. As an added bonus, she’s got way more stuff than us, so even though she’s staying above the bar, she’s still got a full closet of clothes here. I’m sure I can find a dress in there for tonight. The only hard part will be choosing one from the many.
So what to do with my unexpected day to myself?
It takes me less than half a second to head for my laptop. While I don’t play WarQuest as often as I used to when it was my only way to see Arion, I’ve definitely fallen right back into the swing of things, and playing has become pretty regular for me again. But today I’m thinking of doing something a little different to surprise Arion. There’s a special event going on in-game that only lasts for a few more days, and one of the encounters has a chance to drop a really cool mount. He wants it. Bad. Like “It’s black friday and there’s only one Elsa doll left on the shelves and a little girl has to have it” kind of bad. So of course it hasn’t dropped for him, and he hasn’t exactly had a ton of time to play.
If I can get that drop for him, I’ll win the cool girlfriend title for life.
I could just log in on his desktop to play, but I’m so much more comfortable curled up in Chelsea’s overstuffed living room chair, my feet tucked under me and my laptop that Arion got me in my lap. Once I’m settled, I momentarily pause with the realization that I don’t have his character set up on my laptop. It’s not a huge deal to set it up, but once I log into the game I’ll have to spend a while trying to set up and configure the UI for his character before I can even begin to try to get him his item.
Unless…
The character files are local to each computer, but my laptop and his desktop are networked and I know where the file is that controls the in game UI for each character. If I just copy his folder to my folder, it will be all set and I won’t have to waste the time. Feeling brilliant, I navigate to the right folder with a click of the mouse. I’m just about to hit “copy” when the title of another folder in the sub-menu catches my eye. “Logs.”
Curiosity burns in my chest. Arion isn’t a very private person at all, especially when it comes to me. He’s an open book. But I can’t help but wondering how far his logs go back. Typically, the logs record all data that goes across the chat screen if they’re turned on. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and pause. Should I do this?
Okay, forget that. The real question is, am I going to do this?
Apparently so, because I already am. If I come across anything that it seems like he wouldn’t want me to see, I’ll just look away. And no! It’s not that I don’t trust him. To be honest, I’m not even sure why I’m looking, or what I’m looking for.
The log file is gigantic, like he’s never split it, ever. So it seems like it goes back to when he first started playing, and continues through yesterday when he last logged in.
So where do I even begin?
Rather than opening it in Word, I open it up in a parser program made specifically for filtering game logs. It was made to help data crunch fight numbers, so you can improve, but I had the same program on my own computer at home before Nick smashed it, and I know it can be used to filter out conversations as well, anything you want really.
The question is, what do I want?
Maybe I should just close the file. There’s nothing I need to see. I trust him, and I don’t say that easily. After Nick, trust is something I’ve found in very short supply. In fact, Arion may be the only person aside from my Mom that I trust completely and without reservation. But it’s exactly that level of trust that makes me willing to look. Generally, I subscribe to the theory that you shouldn’t look unless you’re willing to see things that will shatter your world because nine times out of ten, you won’t like what you find. But I know Arion is devoted to me, and I have no doubts, just curiosity that now isn’t going to leave me alone until I look.
Suddenly I know exactly what I’m looking for. I hit Control + F to bring up a search box, and type in “Angel.” And there it is. All of the messages between us. From forever. Granted, yes, there are also messages that aren’t relevant to what I want, like others saying hello to me in guild chat, or Arion mentioning me when speaking to others, but the majority of it seems—at least from first glance— seems to be messages between the two of us.
I scroll through the file and stop at a random spot toward the end.
You tell LeeroyJenks: Have U seen Angel, or heard from her at all?
LeeroyJenks: Arion, look. Angel’s gone. That’s the end of it. Maybe she’ll come back, but more than likely she won’t. We’ll find someone to take her spot on the raid team and move on. But you’ll prolly never know what happened, or why. If she wanted you to know, she would have told you. Maybe she’s moved on. You should too.
Tears well behind my eyes, knowing how painful that was for him. He’s forgiven me, and I’ve mostly forgiven myself, but I still regret that I hurt him. I scroll back up toward the top, looking for earlier messages, wanting to immerse myself in the happier memories. It’s kind of comforting to know that so much of what Arion and I began in these words. It’s like the beginning of us. When I was little, I had a friend who lived next door, and she and her Mom loved to curl up on the couch together and watch her parent’s wedding tape over and over, just to see the smiles on their faces. I think this is sort of like that. Reliving some of the best times of my life.
You tell Angel: Want to
go do a dungeon or something?
Angel tells you: I guess, if you want to.
You tell Angel: I don’t really care, I just though maybe you’d want to do something other than just sit around and chat =)
Angel tells you: You’d think that, but I don’t know… Just not really in the mood to do anything specific.
You tell Angel: Why’d you log in then?
The timestamp for the message below that one makes it clear that I stayed quiet for a bit, delaying, but even now, almost two years later, I remember why.
You tell Angel: You afk or just ignoring me?
Angel tells you: thinking.
You tell Angel: About?
Angel tells you: How honest I want to be.
You tell Angel: Didn’t I make you a rule about that? Something like, ‘Always tell Arion the truth.’
Angel tells you: *laughs* something like that.
You tell Angel: It’s settled then. Why’d you log in?
Angel tells you: Because I wanted to see you.
You tell Angel: Angel…
Angel tells you: See, this is why I didn’t want to say anything. You’re about to get all weird. Or worse, you’re going to make fun of me.
You tell Angel: nope.
Angel tells you: Really?
You tell Angel: Really. I think logging in to see me might be the best reason to log in. Ever. Like ever, ever.
Angel tells you: LOL. Don’t get a big head.
You tell Angel: I’ve got something big for you.
Angel tells you: *groan*
You tell Angel: Moan is more of what I was going for.
Angel tells you: I don’t think you could make me moan.
I can’t help laughing at myself now, in retrospect. Of course, I didn’t have any doubts about it when I taunted him either.
You tell Angel: Oh, I know I could. Want me to demonstrate?
Angel tells you: You’re going to make me moan through game?
You tell Angel: Unless you’re inviting me over… in which case, I’ll be there in like, um, 8 hours?
Angel tells you: Sounds like a waste of a perfectly good plane ticket.
You tell Angel: Seeing you would never be a waste.
Angel tells you: Yeah, uhuh. Whatever.
You tell Angel: I’m serious. I want to someday.
Angel tells you: Want to what, see me?
You tell Angel: See all of you.
I huff out a little breath as I’m instantly flushed with thoughts of stripping for Arion last night, his eyes lighting up as he devoured the sight of me.
Angel tells you: How would you know if I was moaning?
You tell Angel: I’m pretty sure I’d know if you were moaning in my bed.
Angel tells you: I meant through game.
You tell Angel: Well, you could give me your phone number, and I could make you moan through the phone.
Angel tells you: Give me your number instead. My mom needs me to run down to the store for her to pick something up so she can make enchiladas for dinner.
You tell Angel: Must be nice.
Angel tells you: What? Enchiladas?
You tell Angel: Having your Mom cook for you.
My heart hurts, knowing Arion still misses his mother. I know he and his dad have had a few good conversations about her lately, and I think it’s helping him, but he still holds the anger of her leaving inside. I wonder if she knows how much she hurt him. Hell, I wonder if she thinks about him at all.
She must, right? I mean she’s his mom. Surely if she knew how much it effected him, she’d try to make things right. I want to believe she must have had a good reason for not coming back, for disappearing without a word.
But of course Arion is a man about it, and doesn’t openly say how much it hurts him. And he’d never ask for help getting in touch with her.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t.
Kevin’s number is programed into my phone, thanks to Arion. He wanted me to have it, just in case. If something ever has me afraid and I can’t reach Arion, I’m supposed to call Kevin.
Kevin answers on the second ring. “What can I do for you, Tess?” he says, his voice courteous but wary.
I suck in a sharp breath, then let it out slowly. “I need you to do me a favor.”
“A favor, or a job?”
“What’s the difference?”
“A favor I can tell you if I think it’s not a good idea, and I can say no. A job, I do what I’m paid to do.”
“Why don’t I tell you what I want then, and you can tell me whether it’s a favor or a job.”
“Fair enough.”
“I want you to find Arion’s mom.”
Kevin let’s out a low whistle. “Have you talked this over with him?”
“No. And I don’t want you to, either. If you can’t find her, or… or if she’s not the person he remembers… if time has changed her, then I don’t want him to know. It’s better if we just find out what we can first, and go from there.”
“There’s a very good chance he won’t be happy. Not with us meddling, and not with what we find.”
“That’s why I’m trusting you to be discreet. He’s not happy now—not truly. Until he settles things with her, there’s always going to be something that he feels like he’s missing.”
The phone is quiet for a moment and I have to glance down at the screen to make sure I didn’t loose the connection.
“So will you do it?”
When Kevin responds, his voice is different. I know that I’m no longer talking to Arion’s employee, but Arion’s friend, who cares about him almost as much as I do. “Yeah, I’ll do it. God help us all.”
There simply aren’t words enough to thank everyone I should. No One’s Angel touches on some very important topics, and I hope that I have done them justice.
There are far too many girls and women who have found themselves in Angel’s position, and my heart breaks over the reality of it. If you take one thing from this book, let it be that there is no wrong way to survive. There are many ways to cope, and there are many ways to fight. Know that if you need help, you don’t have to fight alone.
RAINN can be reached at 1.800.656.HOPE.
You can learn more about RAINN here: http://www.rainn.org
I want to say a huge thank you to the people who made this book possible: my crit partners, my very special beta readers (Navasha and Lisa—Thank you!), and my editor Alexis Arendt.
Last but most certainly not least, thank you to my husband for being exactly what I need, even when I don’t know what I need myself.
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Upcoming Books:
Jaded Stone – A Souls of the Stones Prequel (November 2013)
No One’s Fool – (Early 2014)
Lexi’s story will pick up after No One’s Angel as she ventures off to college determined not to let Nick’s upcoming trial (or her pesky but oh-so-hot bodyguard) overshadow her pursuit of her dreams.
Thank you for reading our books!
You can find lots more of our romances everywhere ebooks are sold.
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