But to my surprise, Adrian just glances up at the sky, his eyes calculating the angle of the sun’s position in the clouds, then says, “Probably about six-thirty. Sorry to wake you so early, but it doesn’t seem like that nightmare was doing you much good anyway.”
I reach into my duffel bag lying nearby and pull out a stretchy black hair tie, then sweep my hair back into a messy, high ponytail. I know I must look a mess, but at least with my hair out of my face I feel a lot more put together and comfortable. Especially since today is likely to be long and arduous.
“So, are we still heading toward my parents’ house?” I ask, brushing the tiny fragments of leaves off of my shirt. Adrian gives me a somewhat pained expression, his jaw tightening. Uh oh.
“Actually,” he begins slowly, “I think it might be best if we stay away from your family for the time being, Bex. I hate to say it, but I don’t want to risk being tailed by more of those Russians and have them follow us to your parents’ home.”
“Oh,” I say, my stomach churning with anxiety. I can feel my heart sinking in my chest. I was so eager to go home and see my family, check on my baby girl. My parents have got to be so worried by now, since I haven’t called in a few days and they knew I was due home the day before yesterday. I can’t imagine how confused and scared Maya must be, missing her mother all this time. It was bad enough having to be away from her for a week while I was working for Mr. Green, but now the thought of being apart from my daughter even longer is almost more than I can bear. I miss her terribly, like a piece of my soul is gone when we’re not together.
Adrian stops packing up and rolling the bed pack to walk over and take me by the hands, lifting them both up to his lips to kiss. His piercing green eyes are steadily trained on my face.
“I’m sorry, Bex,” he says softly. “I never wanted to drag you back down with me. This isn’t your battle to fight, and if I had known my past would follow me, I never would have brought them here to you. I understand if you resent me for ruining the peace and happiness you’ve found here.”
Tears burn in my eyes at the prospect of Adrian thinking I would blame him for the trouble we’re both in. It hurts to think that he assumes that. “Of course I don’t blame you, Adrian. No matter what happens, I will never regret being reunited with you. I’ve missed you for so long — it’s still surreal to see you standing here in front of me. And it’s not your fault, any of this. You had no idea these guys would come after you. I don’t blame you in the least. And we’ll figure out how to deal with it together. You and me. I promise,” I tell him firmly. And god, I hope I’m right.
Adrian smiles down at me and pulls me into a hug, stroking my hair. “You’re just as strong and amazing as I remember,” he says fondly. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better by my side.”
We finish packing up and start walking again, following the sun in lieu of a clear pathway through the trees. This is pure wilderness, mostly untouched and totally intimidating, even for a girl who grew up around this area. The trees here are ancient, with gigantic trunks and far-reaching branches, casting enormous shadows on the ground below them. There is the constant background symphony of forest sounds — various bird calls, crickets and cicadas singing, the crunch of leaves and twigs underfoot, and the rustling of the brush all around us as small animals roam the forest unafraid of us. They are in their perfect element, but we are strangers here. For once, we are not the obvious top of the food chain. Out here, we are not superior animals — we are simply passers-through, and it is in our very best interest to be careful and respectful of the wildlife around us.
Even with the dangers of the woods lurking in the shadows, this place is undeniably beautiful, in a rugged, raw kind of way. It’s amazing how gorgeous and awe-inspiring nature can be when it isn’t muzzled and reined in by human intrusion. Adrian and I walk quietly for a couple miles, with me falling in rank behind him. My NATO armed-forces training, which has lain long undisturbed and dormant, is now making its presence known again in the back of my mind. I remember how to follow orders, how to remain quiet and dutiful even under pressure. I force myself not to dwell too heavily on my painful thoughts of Maya and my parents, willing my mind to focus on the task at-hand. My senses are on fire, keen to the noises and smells and sights of the forest as I scan the scenery for potential dangers. I know Adrian is doing the same exact thing, his moss-green eyes narrowed as he watches out in front of us.
“I’m glad I decided to wear tennis shoes,” I say aloud, more to myself than to Adrian.
“Me too,” he replies, glancing back at me over his shoulder. “How are you feeling? I assume you probably haven’t had to do much of this lately, since you left service a few years ago. If you need me to slow down or take a break, don’t be afraid to speak up. I don’t want to run you ragged.”
“Oh, I’m fine,” I assure him, waving my hand flippantly. And physically, that was true. In fact, even though I left my military position when I was pregnant with Maya, I continued to do strenuous exercises in order to maintain my shape and strength. One thing I loved most about my time with the armed forces was the feeling of pride I got when I looked in the mirror or engaged in high-stress, vigorous workouts. I loved being strong and powerful, and my sense of endurance has definitely aided me in my time as a single mother. Caring for an infant is much less stressful and physically demanding when you’re used to arduous athletic training. So I have kept my body in tip-top shape, hoping that I would be able to be both a kickass mother and a kickass athlete in my own right.
“I’ve actually kept up a lot of my training,” I tell him, a little proudly. Whereas most of the moms in my “new mommy” classes in the town closest to my parents’ home complain of back-aches and sleepless nights, I have been lucky enough to claw my way through Maya’s tempestuous first year relatively unscathed. I’m sure it helps that Maya herself has some fantastic genetics, courtesy of her unbelievably strong, handsome father. Even though she has my dark, silky hair, she inherited her father’s beautiful green eyes and even his natural athleticism. She was sitting up on her own and crawling around a full two months before the baby books predicted she would.
“You know, our daughter is probably going to be one hell of an athlete,” Adrian remarks, almost as though he can read my mind. “Between your graceful legs and my brute strength, I doubt we’ll have to worry about having to fight off boys for her. She won’t even need our help to defend herself, I bet,” he adds, laughing. He looks back at me and I grin, nodding my agreement.
“That’s true. And if she’s anything like me, she’ll do a great job of scaring them off with her awkwardness anyway. I wasn’t exactly a boy-magnet growing up,” I confess, rolling my eyes at the memory of being the only girl without a homecoming date, the only girl who dared to play sports with the boys.
“Awkward? No. I’m sure you just intimidated them with your beauty, brawn, and brains combination!” Adrian counters, slowing down to walk next to me instead of in front. I laugh and shake my head emphatically.
“Ohh no. Not the case at all. I was definitely not a popular girl in school,” I tell him, shuddering as I think back to how much trouble I had with bullies growing up. “It was definitely a kind of me-against-the-world sort of thing. Kind of lonely, really.”
Adrian gives me a sympathetic look, his eyebrows raised.
“That’s a huge surprise,” he admits. “I always assumed you just came out of the womb all sparkly and perfect.”
“Oh, god no,” I laugh, jabbing him gently with my elbow. “I was a loner. And a loser.”
“Didn’t you at least have a brother or sister to beat the bullies up for you?” he asks.
Sighing, I answer, “Nope. Only child.”
“Damn, that does sound lonely,” he says, shaking his head.
“What about you?” I pipe up, wanting to change the subject away from my pathetic adolescent struggles. “I’m one-hundred-percent certain you were a cool jock in school, right?”
He s
hrugs. “Well, yeah. Kind of.”
“I knew it!” I giggle. “Let me guess, you were homecoming king?”
“Prom king, actually,” Adrian corrects, with a wink.
“Oh my god. Of course you were,” I groan, leaning into him. He puts an arm around my shoulder and pulls me in for a kiss.
“But you have to know that my school was very small. I grew up in a tiny little town in Idaho, Bex, and there weren’t that many options to choose from for prom king. I just got lucky. I mean, hell, at least five percent of the student population was related to me. I had three brothers and two sisters,” he tells me, and my jaw drops.
“Jeez! That’s a huge family. I can’t even imagine…” I trail off, in shock.
“Yep. And I was smack dab in the middle, too. Lots of competition. My three older brothers were all incredible athletes, and my little sisters were both musical geniuses. They won all kinds of choir awards and stuff. So naturally I had to do my very best to compete with all that,” he explains, and I feel closer to him than ever. We’ve never discussed our childhoods or our pasts beyond our time together in the desert. We chat like this for hours, just walking through the woods and reminiscing, comparing our vastly different experiences growing up.
I have this warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach as Adrian tells me all about his family, as it’s clear he adores them all dearly. I can’t wait for the day his family meets mine. It gives me a glowing sense of pride to think that my little girl has three uncles and two aunts she’s never even met! Thinking about my family expanding so broadly is a welcome distraction from the situation at hand, and I find myself daydreaming about Maya growing up surrounded by all kinds of people who love her. Our daughter will be so deeply entrenched in love, and I just know that will shape her into a well-rounded, stable, compassionate person. That is all I want for her — to be loved and give love freely, without fear or hesitation.
Finally, we return to the topic of Maya’s conception, and it turns out that we both have a confession to make. Adrian takes my hand and turns to me with wide, luminous eyes. Almost apologetic, but I don’t know why until he starts explaining.
“Bex, I feel like I need to apologize for how rough I was with you the first night we slept together. I am usually more careful than that. More… gentle. I know I probably acted like an asshole, being so forceful with you,” he says.
I shake my head and squeeze his hand, confused. To me, he hadn’t come across as forceful, just powerful and passionate. “No, no. You weren’t like that at all to me. I wanted it just as badly as you did. And it was nice to feel so wanted. Really.”
He sighs, a burden clearly lifting from his broad shoulders. “The truth is, shortly before we met up in that bar, I got the news that my mother had passed away,” he confesses, hanging his head. “My mom was one of my best friends, even though we didn’t always see eye to eye. She was my heart and soul, and for years she fought off the cancer. It kept going away and coming back, and she was a warrior through it all. But that day, the mail truck came through and I got the letter from my older brother telling me Mom had died. That’s why I was in the bar. I was still trying to work through my grief, and you know what it’s like… being a soldier. Everyone expects you to be strong. All the time. No matter what you’re really feeling. So I did what every other heartbroken soldier did in the desert — I distracted myself with booze and sex.”
“Oh my god,” I gasp, totally taken aback. “I-I had no idea. I’m so sorry, Adrian.”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. I let my emotions take over me. I was just so angry at myself for not being there for my mom in the end, when she needed me the most. I should have been home in Idaho. I should have been there for her. I know now that I wouldn’t have been able to do anything to help her, but still. I felt responsible, in some twisted way, for her death. That’s why I acted like such a callous womanizer when I was with you, Becca. I was grieving, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’m sorry.”
I lean forward and stand on tiptoes to kiss him softly, reassuringly. “You have nothing to apologize for. I never once felt like you were taking advantage of me. I wanted you, too. And that night… well, it changed my life. For the better.”
I pause for a moment, nervously considering whether or not to offer my own confession. But after he was so perfectly honest with me, I couldn’t exactly justify hiding my own secret from him.
“Adrian, I have to admit something,” I begin, looking up at him and biting my lip. He cocks his head to one side as though encouraging me to go on. “I-I… well, when I realized that the condom must have broken when we slept together… I was secretly overjoyed. That night with you was so magical, and I was so enraptured by you, that the thought of bearing your child sent me over the moon. Even if I never saw you again, I knew that any child of yours would be more than worth a lifetime of being a single mother. When I found out I was pregnant, it felt like I was carrying a piece of you with me, still, and that comforted me more than you could ever know.”
Adrian beams down at me, then sweeps me into a passionate kiss. My entire body tingles at his insistent touch, and I feel myself melting into his arms, a willing victim.
“I know I have never met her, but I know that I love Maya already,” he tells me softly, resting his forehead against mine. “I understand why you kept her secret from me at first. I wish you hadn’t, but I can’t hold it against you. You’re a great mother for trying to look out for her, and I couldn’t ask for a better partner in raising my little girl. I can’t wait to meet her, and I promise the second we get through this mess, we’ll be reunited and everything will be wonderful. As it should be.”
“I know,” I tell him quietly, resting my head on his chest. “I know.”
“And soon we’ll get to a town where we can use a phone to call some of my, uh, contacts to help us out. We’re getting there, Bex. I swear,” he adds, kissing the top of my head. Hand in hand, we continue walking, taking a break around noon to drink some water from a canteen in his duffel bag. To my relief, his soldier training has also taught him to never travel without some kind of sustenance on hand, so we eat some beef jerky and dried fruit for lunch.
We journey onward for a few more hours, and my feet are starting to ache by the time we stumble upon what looks like a partially-abandoned farm, just through a clearing. My heart flutters with anticipation, thinking that we have finally found our oasis, our saving grace. We’re free!
“Do you know who lives here?” Adrian asks in an undertone as we slowly approach the perimeter of the cleared land. I shake my head and shrug.
“No, but this land doesn’t belong to my family anymore. It’s privately owned, and I don’t know the owners. I didn’t even realize there was a farm out here,” I admit, a little confused. The last I knew, our house was one of the few in this particular area. But then again, we’ve been walking in the opposite direction of my parents’ home. So I don’t think we are even in my usual stomping grounds anymore.
“I’ll go to the main house and see if there’s anyone home. Hopefully they will let us use their phone or at least point us in the direction of the nearest town center,” Adrian tells me, urging me to stay behind just in case it isn’t safe. I reluctantly agree, even though I think he might be acting a little over-cautiously. This is the country, and generally people are pretty friendly out here, even if they are a little standoffish at first. They just respect their own privacy, is all.
Just then, there is an air-splitting crack and a bullet comes hurtling over our heads, Adrian just barely ducking out of the way in time. He tackles me to the ground with a shout of “Get down!” and we both look around in frantic horror. What is going on?
Did someone really just fire a shot at us?!
Adrian
Becca shrieks, but my arm is already around her, and as if she were weightless, I haul her with me toward a large rock outcropping nearby, taking cover under it. Within moments, I’ve pushed her down into proper cover and draw
my pistol.
I hear the sound of a shotgun reloading, but the click it makes tips me off to what must be going on, and I feel my muscles ease up just a hint.
Becca looks at me with utter fear in her eyes, terrified of what I suspected just a moment ago, but I reach over and put a large hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze and shaking my head.
A moment later, a voice from the shack confirms my suspicions.
“Damn police think you can come traipsing over my property without warning?” yells the scratchy voice of an older man, bearing the kind of hoarseness that comes from a voice that’s not used very much. “I’m within my rights! I’ve got another couple rounds in this chamber, and I want to see a warrant or your backsides on your way back to the city, hear that? Damn suits!”
I have to suppress a laugh at the completely baffled look Becca gives me. “It’s alright,” I assure her, “out deep in the woods like this, every now and then you run into these guys who like to live off the grid. They’re more than a little suspicious of outsiders, but they’re usually not dangerous unless you sneak up on them or look like cops.”
“And I’m guessing we’re doing both?” she hisses back, and I give her a playful wink before turning my head and shouting back at the house’s owner.
“We thought this place was abandoned!”
“Well, it’s not!” he barks. “Who are you, and how did you find this place? Are you now or have you ever been affiliated with the Ontario Provincial Police, Royal Canadian Mounted Police, or other government entities?” he recites, a line I’m sure he’s rehearsed numerous times.
“No,” I say, holding my hands up and letting my gun show — pointed to the air — as I slowly start to stand up to my full height. “My name is Adrian O’Connor, former Navy SEAL. The woman with me is Rebecca Summers, former NATO and love of my life. Our car broke down a few miles east of here, and we ran into some trouble on the road. We’re trying to get to the nearest town.”
Sights on the SEAL: A Secret Baby Romance Page 12