But it was his awareness of Savannah that had him staring at the open doorway for so long. It had started in New York and wouldn’t let go.
He wished she’d gone with them today. She would have made the excursion even more fun and given him time with her—precious minutes that he’d never expected to have.
* * *
“So riding the cable cars was fun,” Savannah said as she folded her shirts and then rolled them to stuff in the backpack.
“I had a good time,” Jacey said, sitting yoga-fashion on her bed watching. “Did you ride them?”
“I did.”
“Maybe the trip won’t be so bad,” Jacey said thoughtfully.
“Your dad just wants to make you happy,” Savannah said. If only Jacey knew how much the man had tried to make her happy would her attitude soften a little?
“I guess. Did your dad want to make you happy?”
“He died before I could remember him.”
“Oh.” The teenager was silent for a moment. “That must have been tough.”
“Both my parents died before I was four. My sister and I went to stay with our grandmother.”
“What was that like?”
“We didn’t have much. Grams was old when Stacey and I went to live with her. She had arthritis pretty bad, too. But she did her best for us. And I had my sister. While we lacked material things, we never lacked love. Grams died shortly after I left for college. Stacey and I often think she held on until we were out of the nest.”
“Oh.”
“Cherish your parents, Jacey. You don’t know how long you’ll have them,” Savannah said lightly. She didn’t want to scare the child, but maybe she needed a nudge to begin to appreciate what she did have.
“Dad said we’ll get the rest of the supplies and pick up the car in the morning. We’ll leave around nine. It’ll take several hours to get to the trailhead where we’re leaving the car,” Jacey said. “I called Mom again, but she didn’t answer.”
“What were her plans for the summer?” Savannah asked.
“Spend it with friends,” Jacey mumbled, pulling out her phone and looking at it.
“Nice for her to have a break, don’t you think?”
“From me?” Jacey looked up sharply at that.
“From watching out for you, making sure you’re safe, growing, learning. Being a parent isn’t an easy job. Working as a nanny, I know exactly what parents have to do to raise children. Everyone needs a carefree break now and then.”
“Normally she doesn’t,” Jacey said slowly. “I wanted her and my dad to get married again. I don’t think Dad will. They fought a lot before they got divorced.”
Savannah had seen this hope with other children she’d watched who were living with one or the other divorced parent. “I understand. Truly I do. However, did you ever have any indication your dad wanted to marry your mother again?”
Jacey shook her head. “But Mom says she never should have divorced him. They struggled all the time and then when she was gone, he became a millionaire. She wants to get married again.”
“Money’s not the best reason to marry someone,” Savannah said, hoping she could say the right words. “Love, respect, enjoying being with the other person, those count more. Not everyone’s a millionaire. If people only married millionaires, there wouldn’t be many people left on the earth.”
“I think he loves her,” Jacey said. “She told me he doesn’t date much. Doesn’t that sound like he wishes he was with her?”
“No. You’ll only keep yourself unhappy if you think like that. What they had sounds like it was over a long time ago.”
“I wish we were back in New York,” the girl said, but less vehemently than before.
“We will be soon enough. There, I’ve squeezed everything in, including my mousse.” Savannah lifted the backpack and was surprised at the weight.
Jacey giggled. “They’re heavy, aren’t they? I don’t know how I’m going to manage and I’m used to heavy schoolbooks.”
“We’ll get used to it, I’m sure.” Savannah shrugged into her backpack, fastened the strap in front and walked around a little. “Not too bad.”
She took it off and looked at Jacey. “Dibs on the first use of the bathroom.”
Jacey nodded and leaned back on her pillows.
* * *
It was a long time before Savannah fell asleep. She had only hours left to decide to stay or go. So far she’d not rocked the boat by even mentioning she was still considering letting the two of them go on their trek together. If Declan really wanted to bond with his daughter, it would easier if it were the two of them.
Yet she could already see the change in Jacey. Maybe his plan was working. And if she could help, she wanted to. When she’d first left Declan’s office after that initial interview, she’d expected to resent Jacey. She was the reason Declan had broken off their relationship. At first she didn’t warm to the child, but the past day or two had shown her how delightful the girl could be.
Or was it that she was still aware of Declan and didn’t know how she would keep from falling in love with him again if they stuck close? He hadn’t changed that much. Yet she refused to let herself be caught up in some silly daydreams. He’d proven once that she took second place to his daughter. If she let herself go for even a second, she would likely bring only more heartache on herself.
Being around him was like slow torture. She remembered ever touch, caress, special look. Savannah hoped she wouldn’t fool herself into thinking he’d changed. That he’d ever put anyone ahead of Jacey.
She was never going to get to sleep thinking about him. She threw on her robe and went to the lounge.
They were leaving their city clothes in the car when they parked at the trailhead. If she went with them, it would be jeans and T-shirts and sleeping in sleeping bags. No amenities, no comforts. Just roughing it on the trail, man against nature.
“Like the pioneers,” she said softly as she switched on a lamp and lifted the phone receiver to call room service for some warm milk. She’d do okay. She’d been raised without much comfort or modern conveniences. They’d made do. She could do it again if needed.
She stood at the window overlooking the city while she waited for the milk to be delivered. The lights sparkled. Tendrils of fog drifted by, hiding then revealing the buildings in front of her. Few cars traveled the street. She saw no pedestrians. Glancing at the clock on the shelf she saw it was almost three o’clock. No wonder it looked almost deserted outside. Everyone was asleep. Was she the only person awake at this hour?
When the discreet knock came at the door, she answered it, signing the chit and taking the tray with a solitary glass of warmed milk. Taking off the cover they’d placed on it, she saw it had a sprinkling of cinnamon.
Declan’s door opened and he stepped into the lounge as she was taking her first sip.
“I thought I heard something,” he said. He wore only pajama bottoms, no top. And Savannah let her gaze feast on his strong solid chest, the glass poised halfway to her mouth. He looked amazing. She remembered running her hands all over that chest, feeling the warmth of his skin, the strength of his muscles. Being held against him as they danced. Crushed against him in passion. Snuggling against him as
they watched favorite television shows.
Dragging her gaze away was an effort she almost couldn’t handle.
“I, um, couldn’t sleep, so I thought warm milk might help,” she said, moving back toward the window.
“Is Jacey giving you trouble?” he asked, standing by the open door to his bedroom. When Savannah glanced over at him, she could see the rumpled bed behind him. She quickly looked back out the window. It was safer than letting her mind go down memory lane.
“No. In fact, I’m a bit surprised at how cordial she was when I got in this evening.”
“I haven’t said anything, nor have you. Will you be continuing on the trip?”
Decision time. She hesitated a moment, trying to find some reason to leave, wanting just a little more time with him before saying goodbye.
“I guess I’ll go,” she said, taking another sip of milk.
“Good.”
She didn’t hear anything and thought maybe he’d returned to his room. She turned and almost spilled the milk. He was only inches away, his dark eyes gazing down at her.
“Remember when—”
“No, don’t. The past is past. Let’s not drag it up,” she said quickly. If he only knew. Since seeing him last week she’d done nothing but drag up the past. “If I go, same rules apply. No talking about the past.”
“Will you ever forgive me?” he asked slowly, reaching out to feather his fingertips over her short hair. After her shower, she had not moussed it.
“It doesn’t matter if I do or don’t,” she said, gripping her glass so tightly she was afraid it might break.
“I was wrong, you know. It didn’t work. I should have made other arrangements. Margo and I married too young and it didn’t work then. I don’t know why I thought it would a second time around,” he said, his eyes beseeching.
She stepped back before she could drop the glass and throw herself into his arms, begging him to kiss her the way he used to.
“I understand why you went back to her. But you had to have known before you told me…you had been seeing her, right?”
He nodded. “But only with Jacey. She seemed to dote on our daughter. And she seemed older and wiser. It wasn’t until after we remarried that she showed more of her true colors. I wanted to believe her so she and I could provide a good home life for Jacey. Only Margo’s agenda wasn’t the same as mine.”
“Some things are only discovered when proven.” She turned and walked back to her bedroom. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you the way you wanted,” she said softly, and closed the door. Leaning against it she let her eyes adjust to the lack of light. Once the ambient light from the street filtered through the drapes, she made her way to her bed. Sitting on the side, she sipped the milk, wishing with all her heart that things had been different. As her grandmother had often said, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Wishing never changed a thing.
Life moved on. She was sadder than that happy young college girl, but wiser and more prudent. Declan Murdock was nothing but heartache, and she had learned to avoid that state.
* * *
The drive from San Francisco to where they’d leave the car at Yosemite National Park took several hours. Declan had Jacey sit in the front to navigate. For several hours Savannah watched as they talked. Gradually she was seeing the Jacey Declan wanted back. It had not been a vain dream to make a family with his daughter. With another mother, they might have succeeded. But then, if Margo had been a different woman, he might not have divorced the first time and he never would have found Savannah.
She’d never had a long-term boy friend after Declan. First she was focused on her studies in school, and she nursed her heartache. Once Vacation Nannies took off, she was gone more than she was home. Which definitely didn’t help in the relationship department.
So to be cherished as Declan had once seemed to cherish her was a pipe dream. It had been fun to be part of a couple. They’d planned activities together, spent their free time doing things both enjoyed, and, she’d thought, built a stronger relationship for the future.
All the more devastating when he’d told her goodbye.
She refused to look too far into the future. She enjoyed her life. She loved children and appreciated the opportunity to explore the world. She’d seen some places others only dream about. There were still a myriad of other exotic vacation spots she’d like to visit.
Was it odd she’d never thought about getting married and having a family? Had Declan derailed that dream? Or was it just natural hesitancy because of her parents? She knew her parents hadn’t planned to die so young. Life was uncertain. If something happened to her today, at least there’d be no one whose life she’d alter. Stacey would grieve but move on. She’d not leave some child or children behind bewildered by the change in the family, raised in an environment totally different from their early years.
Savannah realized they’d been traveling in silence for a while when Jacey said,
“I’m bored.” As if it were the worst of fates.
“So listen to your radio,” her father suggested.
“There’s no reception here. No phone reception either or I could call Mom.”
Declan glanced at Savannah in the rearview mirror. He had not told Jacey yet that there would be no phone service where they were going. Savannah shrugged. Time would let the teen know. No point in saying anything. She’d support his decision. For the next couple of weeks she was his employee. And she believed in absolute loyalty.
“Want to play a game?” Savannah asked. As a seasoned nanny, she knew kids of all ages got bored on long car trips. She had several car games in her tote.
“Like what?”
“There are tons of games for car play. We can play car bingo—I have some cards with things like signs or state license plates and the first one to get all in a row wins. Or we can spot license plates and the first one to read all fifty wins.”
“Like all cars from all fifty states are going to be around here,” Jacey said.
“You never know. California is a very popular state. I have some Mad-Lib cards. Or how about Truth or Dare?”
“What’s that?”
“Whoever goes first asks the next person a question. That person then has to say truth or dare. If truth, he or she has to answer whatever question you ask. If they say dare, you have to dare them to do something.”
“Like what?”
“Like crow like a rooster.”
Jacey giggled and turned to look at her. Savannah smiled back. “Want to try?”
“Okay, if I get to go first.”
“Go for it.”
“Dad, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Why did we come on this dumb trip?”
“Truth—I wanted to reconnect with my little girl.”
“Oh, brother,” Jacey said.
“Okay, my turn,” Declan said. “Savannah, truth or dare?”
She looked at him consideringly. “Okay, truth.”
“What’s your favorite memory?”
“Easy, lying on the bank of the river near home watching the stars at night with my sister and Grams. She knew all the constellations and told us God knows the name of every star. I
couldn’t fully understand at the time, but I remember I thought that was awesome.”
“Okay, your turn,” Declan said.
“Jacey, truth or dare.”
“Truth.”
“What’s your favorite memory?” Savannah asked.
There was silence for a moment.
Declan glanced at his daughter. She stared out the window.
“My daddy tucking me into bed,” she said in a low voice, looking away.
He felt the clutch of emotion grab hold and threaten to strangle him.
“Dad, what’s yours?”
“Like Savannah said, easy. The day you and I went to the zoo for the first time. Actually I have a bunch of favorite memories all centering around you but that’s my very favorite. I had a daughter I’d just found out about. Nothing is more special than that.”
“This is a mushy game,” Jacey said. “Can we play bingo?”
Savannah pulled out the cards and soon she and Jacey were deep into trying to outdo the other. Declan had to drive, so he was excused from the game. When Jacey gave a shout of triumph, he smiled. She was as excited as if she’d won something big.
The games were a hit and Jacey didn’t complain about being bored the rest of the trip.
It was midafternoon when they reached the ranger station where they’d get their permit and leave their car. From now on, it was backpacking the High Sierras.
When they were loaded up and ready to go, Jacey complained her backpack was heavy.
“Each of us brings our own stuff. In addition, I’m carrying the tent and the cookstove, so I have the heavier load,” Declan said, anxious to get started. He hoped to reach one of the recommended camping sites before it got too dark to set up.
“I bet Savannah’s is lighter.”
The Nanny Who Kissed Her Boss Page 7