I had to let her go.
“I just want this done and her safe. That’s all,” I told Dec.
With a lift of his chin and disbelief in his eyes, he stood. “If you say so. I’m gonna go walk the perimeter again. After we hear back from Zane, we’ll figure out the rest of our day.”
I sat back into the couch and pressed the heels of my palms against my brow trying to relieve some of the pressure building.
What the hell was I thinking, forcing Anaya to something she didn’t want to do? She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. And the truth was, going to Cambodia with us would put her in more danger.
“You okay?” Anaya asked.
I opened my eyes and she was leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room.
Smart woman. It was best she stayed far away from me.
“Sure. What’s up?”
“I talked to Camilla.” Anaya held her cellphone up so I could see it. “She said they’re catching an earlier flight. And good news, one orphanage in Tutuala has room for ten girls. If there are more than ten, they’ll take them to West Timor. Either way, they’re ready to go.”
“After this is over, where’s your next assignment?”
“Assignment?”
“With the Peace Corps? Where do you go next?”
I held my breath hoping she’d tell me she was going back to the US for good. I might not be in a place where I could keep her, but maybe there would be a possibility in the future. Maybe after we took out Omni, I could seek her out and see if there was more to these crazy feelings I had.
“Oh. I’m not sure yet. South America, I think. Maybe Guyana or Peru. The volunteers who were pulled from Timor-Leste are being sent wherever they’re needed.”
Hearing the possibility of her going to Guyana had my gut clenching. The team had just come back from there. I’d seen firsthand what a corrupt government could do to good people. The country was beautiful and should’ve been thriving. Instead, greed and criminals had a stranglehold.
“How long will you be gone?”
“Every assignment is a two-year commitment. But I don’t know what the Peace Corps will do in a case like this. Why?”
Two years? Fuck. I had no business even entertaining the idea of getting involved with Anaya. Declan was right—yet again, he’d warned me I could get burned. What he didn’t know was, that burn was now hearing she’d be gone for years and all thoughts of a possible future had gone up in smoke.
“You wanna stay with the Riveras and help transport the girls?”
My question had my stomach churning.
“I thought we already worked that out.” Her brows pulled together in confusion.
Yeah, sweetheart, I’m confused, too.
“No. I worked it out. I didn’t leave much room for your opinion.”
She continued to study me and something that looked a lot like hurt crossed her face before she stiffened her spine and pushed off the wall.
“Then, yes, I want to stay.”
Fuck, that hurt—more than I thought it would. Everything I’d thought I’d been feeling toward her was one-sided. She had no interest in staying with us—with me.
“Then you should stay and help.” My chest ached at the thought of leaving her behind. “But you need to be careful. It’s dangerous here. The rebels are still a problem. Tonight when we go in to get the girls you have to stay hidden. We can’t take the chance someone sees you.”
“Tonight is so soon.” Disappointment flashed before she covered it up. “That’s still the plan, huh?”
“Looks that way. We’re waiting on Zane to call back.”
“Oh.” She paused for a moment. “That’s good. We need to get them out of there.”
Declan walked back into the house as he was shoving his phone back into his pocket.
“That was Tex,” he announced. “Preston Lockhart is on his way to Cambodia. We need to grab the girls tonight. Anaya, make arrangements for Donny and Camilla to be ready. We’ll hit the house as soon as the last man leaves. Load the girls and get gone. Garrett has three tickets booked for the first flight out of Dili. Oh-five-hundred. That doesn’t leave us much wiggle room.”
“Call Garrett back and make that two tickets. Anaya’s gonna stay,” I told him, trying my best to keep my tone flat even though my heart was pounding.
It felt wrong leaving her behind. It went against everything I wanted and my gut was screaming at me not to let her go. But it didn’t matter how badly I wanted her. She would never be mine. What’s the saying? Right girl, wrong time. Not that it would ever be the right time for me. I’d always known that but somehow Anaya had made me forget.
Forget I was a man who didn’t want commitments or a family. Didn’t want to tie a good woman to me only to have her hate me when she saw the real me later.
We both had lives to live and we weren’t on the same paths. Not even close. I knew myself well enough to know that I would never be okay with my woman traipsing around the world, putting herself in danger. Not without me by her side.
But damn, it sucked having to let Anaya go.
Chapter 9
Why the hell did I feel like someone had kicked me in the stomach?
I was getting what I wanted. Wasn’t I? Camilla and Donny would need help safely getting the girls to the eastern side of the island. I could see for myself they were being left in a good place. That’s why I’d come back to Timor-Leste. To rescue girls from Amisha’s, from the horrific things she was doing to them. I wasn’t supposed to be behaving like some silly lovesick girl with a crush. Hell, I didn’t even know what a crush was.
Boy, I’d been stupid letting my mind go there. Too inexperienced with men to know that Kyle had no interest in me. I read the situation wrong. He was just being nice to me because he was a nice guy, not because he’d felt the same connection I had.
So, so, dumb and very much out of character for me. But there was something about Kyle that put me at ease, made me want to open the padlocks I had around my life and invite him in. Not that it would work between the two of us. I was screwed up with a capital S and exclamation point after the P.
One look at Kyle told me he could have any woman he wanted, and he’d probably had a lot. There was no way I’d be able to satisfy a man like him. At this point, I didn’t even know if I could have sex anymore. I’d allowed myself to slide so far into myself and detach from any physical interaction, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to pull myself back out.
A week ago, I’d been fine with that. It wasn’t like there was time for relationships and sex when I was spending all of my time helping other people. But now, I wished I was normal. What would it be like to have Kyle just once? Feel his muscled chest pressed against mine, without clothes this time. His warm body covering me.
I turned to my side and adjusted the pillow under my head. I should’ve been taking a nap, getting ready for tonight. There was a strong possibility I’d be awake for the next twenty-four hours. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking about Kyle and how easily he’d gotten rid of me.
I picked my book back up and opened it to the beginning, hoping I could get lost in Susan Stoker’s fictional world where there’s always a happy ending.
Why couldn’t I be like one of her heroines? Strong and capable of overcoming all the shit that life piles on them. Why couldn’t I find my hero—possessive and growly and determined never to let me go?
Because it’s not real-life, you idiot. Men like that don’t really exist.
But if they did, Kyle Smith would fit the mold.
But he’d let me walk away. He hadn’t thrown me over his shoulder and carried me back to his mountain home. And that’s what he’d said he do if he found the right woman.
“Hey. Wake up.”
Someone was shaking me. My eyes popped open.
“Time to leave?” I muttered, and felt the bed compress behind me.
“No. You had another nightmare.”
Damn. It was no wo
nder the man wanted to get away from me as soon as possible. I was crazy.
“Sorry,” I grumbled.
“Want me to stay?”
I should’ve said no. My heart was already breaking, but in a few hours I’d never see him again. I’d have plenty of time to nurse my hurt but this would be my last chance to spend time with him. And damn if that didn’t hurt, it killed.
“Please.”
I felt more shuffling behind me, then his warm body molded against my back and his arm draped over my middle.
“Is this okay?”
His strong arm was trapping me to the bed, his hard body pressed against mine all the way down to his long legs tangling with mine. Yet I didn’t feel confined.
“Yes.”
“We have a few more hours. Go back to sleep.”
I didn’t want to sleep and waste what time I had left with Kyle, but exhaustion pulled me under.
Everyone’s mood had sucked when we’d left the house. Something had changed with Kyle. He’d been up and ready to go before he came back into the bedroom and had woken me up. He’d been polite but completely detached. It was like a light switch had flipped and all traces of the man who’d held my hand or cuddled behind me were gone.
Now I was sitting in the passenger seat of a box truck that looked like it’d seen better days. I had no idea where Donny and Camilla had procured it and I hadn’t asked.
Neither Declan or Kyle had made time for pleasantries when I introduced them to the Riveras. They’d gone over the plan, asked if they had any questions, told all three of us to stay in the truck, and told Donny to keep the engine running.
Kyle and Declan had disappeared around the back of the house, and that was five minutes ago. Now I had sweat dripping down my back and I was getting antsier by the second. Donny was as cool as a cucumber, but Camilla was squished between us and she was bouncing her knee.
“Calm down, love, it will all be over soon,” he said to his wife and my heart squeezed.
I didn’t need to look over to know he’d placed his hand on her leg to make it stop moving. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t peel my eyes away from the house Kyle had entered.
Everything was eerily quiet, too silent for this part of the city. I felt like everyone in the area knew we were coming so they’d stayed home and battened down the hatches.
Movement caught my eye as someone got out of the car, but didn’t slam the door closed. He gently eased the metal to the frame and didn’t latch it. Donny and Camilla had gratuitously sunk down in their seats. With the truck running, it was obvious someone was in it.
I watched as the man walked down the cracked sidewalk toward Amisha’s house. I held my breath as he continued up her small driveway, his head swiveling back and forth like he was looking for something.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
My hand went for the door handle and Camilla grabbed me. “No way, Anaya,” she whispered. “They said to stay in the truck.”
“I have to stop him. If he bangs on the door or rings the doorbell the guys will be screwed.”
As silently as I could I creaked the truck door open, which meant the old hinges in desperate need of some WD-40 had probably woken up the neighborhood. I crouched and waited but the man never looked my way. Once he stepped foot onto the porch I took off across a yard and stayed behind the overgrown shrubs.
Damn, the man was too close to the door. I darted from my hidey-hole, not sure what I was going to do to stop him from entering the house. I was half a dozen steps from him when his attention came to me. The front door opened, a figure dressed in black stepped through and the next thing I knew the man in black lunged forward. His arm came up, and in one fluid motion came down, making contact with the would-be intruder’s throat.
I froze. One second my feet had been moving, the next they weren’t.
A set of very angry eyes came to mine and Kyle pulled his knife free, wiped the blade on his pants before he closed the knife and shoved it in his pocket. He did all of that without breaking eye contact.
Holy shit.
Something wholly sinister passed over Kyle’s features before he looked down at the man who was now sagging against his one-arm hold. With a shove, the man fell back and into the bushes that lined the porch.
“Get the fuck back into the truck,” Kyle growled.
Declan appeared behind him, three girls struggling as he herded them out the door.
Without thinking, I rushed forward—ignoring Kyle’s demand—and went to the girls.
“We’re here to help. You’re safe now.”
All three shook their heads and struggled.
“We’re Americans,” I told them in Tetum. “We’re going to take you away from here. You’re safe now.”
Relief was stark on two of their faces but the third was still struggling with her decision.
“Come on.” I gestured. “We have to hurry. She won’t hurt you again.”
I tugged on the girl’s hand and she reluctantly followed. Camilla was already out of the truck and waiting.
“How many more are in the house?” I asked, still speaking in Tetum.
“Six,” one of the girls whispered.
“And next door?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t been there in a long time.”
I rushed back to the house to help Declan and Kyle. There was no way they were getting six more scared girls out of the house.
Declan met me on the porch and yanked me to a stop.
“It’s not pretty in there.”
“I’m fine.”
He let me go and I finally got my first look inside of Amisha’s House of Horrors.
The first thing I noticed was the smell. It was enough to knock you on your ass. Next, there was no living room, it had been partitioned off. I didn’t want to think about why that was, why she needed the extra rooms. I didn’t want to think about anything that had gone on in this house.
I glanced to my right and Amisha lay dead next to two men. Blood surrounded the three on the already-stained floor. I wouldn’t say I was filled with joy seeing them dead, but I did feel the rightness of their deaths. She was gone. Amisha could never hurt a young girl again. Kyle and Declan had made sure of it and for that I was grateful.
To my left, six young girls huddled together. Kyle was standing behind them, anger rolling off him. It was no surprise the girls were scared of him.
I repeated the same speech to the girls and coaxed them out the door.
With the nine girls in the back of the box truck, Camilla had gone back to the cab. I was getting ready to climb in so Kyle could lock us in, when he stopped me and pulled me close.
His strong arms wrapped around me so tightly all the air in my lungs whooshed out. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to my forehead.
“Be safe, Anaya.”
The gruffness of his voice made my eyes sting. This was it. I’d never see him again.
Why couldn’t I just tell him what I wanted? Why wasn’t I strong enough to ask him if I could stay with him?
“You, too, Kyle.” I rolled to my toes and brushed my lips against his. I hadn’t meant for it to be more than that, but at the last second, I realized I’d never see him again and for once in my life I was taking what I wanted. My tongue came out and licked the seam of his mouth, his came out and brushed against mine and fireworks exploded in my chest. One taste, that was all I’d ever have. “Thank you,” I whispered.
He held my eyes for a beat, conflicted and confused, before he cursed under his breath, then let me go.
With a small jump, I was in the back of the truck.
Kyle rolled the door down and I watched as he closed it, unable to look away as I lost sight of him. I heard the latch lock and I scrambled to the door, placing my hand on the metal. The truck jerked and we were moving.
He was gone.
My heart shattered.
Chapter 10
Dec was giving me a wide berth.
The moment I’d closed the
door behind Anaya, I knew I’d made a mistake.
Arguably the biggest one of my life.
I’d let her go even after she’d kissed me.
The only conversation that had passed between me and Declan since I’d watched Anaya being driven away was him informing me Tex had already arranged a local organization to come in to handle the girls who had been left at the orphanage.
I had to stay on target and stop thinking about how sweet Anaya tasted. How hard I’d fought the urge to deepen the kiss. How I’d wanted to throw her over my shoulder and run away with her. How I never wanted her to leave me.
She was gone and I’d allowed that to happen. It was for her own good—now our only objective was to take out Preston Lockhart.
We’d been in Cambodia ten hours and had already recon-ed the area.
“There’s only three guards,” Declan unnecessarily told me.
“I guess they feel safe with the area being so remote.”
“That’s my take, too.”
“Preston will be there for the buy, that makes four. Possibly more if one of the men on the premises isn’t the boss.”
“Tex said Preston is travelling alone. We’ll take him out en route.”
“Agreed.”
Declan leveled me with his stare and I braced. “We should talk about Anaya.”
Nope. That was the last thing I wanted to talk about.
“Nothing to talk about,” I told him.
“You didn’t—”
“I did, Declan. You were right. I wasn’t thinking. Bringing her along would’ve been too dangerous. She’s safer where she is.”
“We’ll be back home in a few days, her a couple more after that. You could—”
“Could what?” I snapped. “Call her? Ask her out on a date? We’ll be in Maryland, she lives in San Diego. Then there’s the fact she’s off to South America for two years and we’re at war with Omni.” I wanted to tug at my hair in frustration but I refrained. “I’m not cut out for that shit anyway.”
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