by Allie Bock
“I’ll be fine. Trust me,” he said as he wiped a tear from my cheek.
“What if you don’t come back? I can’t lose you again.”
He pulled me close to his chest and I soaked his shirt with my tears. “I have to try. This is the biggest event of my career.”
“Why can’t you just recover and plan to compete next year?” His hands rubbed up and down my back as my sobs quieted and I hiccupped.
“It’s not that easy. I am ranked fifth in the nation. I have a shot at winning it. Next year, I start over at the bottom,” he explained
“So, I don’t understand. Don’t you have enough money? Kaleb says you have it squirreled away somewhere,” I said as I tried to pull away from him, but he held me tight.
“I’m one of the older guys riding. I’m running out of time,” he said with panic in his voice.
“I don’t want you to go. You need to stay here and recover. It’s too dangerous,” I pleaded with him as yet more tears wet my face.
“Baby, life’s always dangerous.” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “Let’s go home.”
He walked around to the passenger side and slid in. I wiped my tears on my sleeve and sat in the driver’s side. I started the engine and turned my car toward the Kisment ranch. Tears continued to fall down my cheeks as the car fell silent and a pit formed in my stomach. This was bad. He wouldn’t even consider not going.
About halfway home, I gasped and pulled the car over to the side of the road. New fears were threatening to surface. Breathe in and breathe out, Delilah. You can do this. On my third round of breathing, Kade interrupted me.
“Um, Dee, I don’t mean to be dense. But what are you doing?” He reached out to touch my shoulder. I jerked away.
“Trying not to hyperventilate.” I breathed in and out again.
“But why?”
“I may not make enough money!” I said. Desperation pawed at my chest and a large lump lodged in my throat. My chest tightened and I couldn’t get air in and out. I placed my head against the cool glass.
“For?” Kade touched my arm again.
“For the therapeutic riding stable, you buffoon! I’m not able to get paid until you had a full recovery at six months or released from the doctor!”
He chuckled. “I wouldn’t worry about that.”
I shot him a look. Not worry about it!? I was banking on that money.
“You wouldn’t understand,” I said through clenched teeth. I tugged on the blinker to pull back out into traffic. “You never worry about anything.” Silence met my remark. I finished the drive back to Sunnydale.
Chapter 20 November 9th Later That Afternoon
Kade
Zip laid on the plaid comforter with his head on his front feet. His eyes followed my every move as I walked back and forth across the room with my walking boot. My leg still ached with every step and turn, but the pain became part of my life.
“The doc said I shouldn’t ride, and Dee doesn’t want me to.” I passed him on the bed. “But if I don’t ride at the Bull Riding Finals, I’ll lose my chance to win the championship.” I ran my hands through my hair. “All those nights on the road, the rides, the eating fast food...everything here that I gave up with Delilah and my family. What do you think, Zip?”
He jumped up and gave a sharp bark.
“You’re right.” I tossed my old, black duffel bag on the bed. A couple of jeans, T-shirts, and button-up shirts landed next to the bag. I shoved everything in. I wrestled my good foot into the worn-out cowboy boot sitting next to the bed, shoving the other in the bag before zipping it up. “Dee is going to be mad, but maybe she’ll come with me.” A small sprout of hope unfurled in my chest. Then, I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder and dug out my gear bag from the closet.
“Zip, time to go.” He leaped off the bed and trotted to the door. His stumpy tail wagged in excitement. His nails clicked on the floor ahead of me when I opened the door to head down the hall.
Dee’s singing floated from the kitchen when I approached. Her voice blended in harmony with the radio. She stood over the sink, peeling potatoes as a pot of stew simmered on the stove next to her. The aroma of beef and carrots caused my stomach to rumble. I’d forgotten to eat lunch today. Zip ran to the door and barked at the door handle.
“Oh, honey, do you need to go outside?” She asked in a sweet voice. She set the peeler and potatoes down. She turned toward the front door and froze when her eyes met mine. The blood drained from her face when her eyes roamed over my gear and bag. She leaned a hip against the counter and crossed her arms. “Really? Were you even going to say goodbye?” Her eyebrow raised as bitterness dripped from her tongue.
“Hey. Dee.” I set my bags down and stepped towards her. She backed up against the counter and raised her hand, fending me off. “This is something I need to do.” How do I set into words how much this means to me? “You have to understand. I don’t want to have this fight again.”
“You aren’t ready.” She crossed her arms and glared at me.
I guess we were going to have it anyway. “He said I could ride,” I said. The corners of my lips pulled up into a small smile.
“No, he said you could ride a horse, but he wouldn’t recommend bull riding.” Her voice was hard when she turned back to the potatoes with her shoulders drooped slightly. “Don’t let me stand in the way of your dreams, but then again, I’ve never been part of them.”
The bite of her words stung and fractured my heart, causing pain as I struggled with my decision again. “I am sorry, Dee. But I must go. Please, come with me.” I said softly.
She shook her head. “I can’t watch you get hurt or die.”
I wanted to take her in my arms, but everything in her body language said she didn’t want to be touched and she didn’t turn back around. I sighed before crossing the kitchen. The screen door screeched when I opened it, and Zip ran in front of me as we walked to my truck. He put his front two feet on the running boards for me to boost him into the passenger seat before sliding into the driver’s seat. I turned my ancient truck down the driveway just as Kaleb rode up on his horse. He leaned down to peer into the truck window.
“Heading out?” He asked. The black horse he was riding stuck his nose in my hand.
“Yep,” I said. I stared out the windshield trying not to think of how I hurt her, again.
“Delilah mad?” Kaleb lifted his hat from his head to wipe the sweat from his brow.
“Yep.” My voice closed in around the words, and I tried to swallow the lump stuck in my throat.
“Thought she’d be. You still going?”
I nodded.
“In that case, drive safe and call Kurt,” he said. He shrugged and shoved his cowboy hat back on his head.
“Thanks.” I nodded at him.
Kaleb backed his horse away from the truck and rode over to the barn. I straightened the steering wheel to start on my way to the Bull Riding Finals. I messed things up with Delilah, but I needed to do this. I could beg for forgiveness when I got back.
THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS was a long trip, especially alone. Usually, I traveled out with some other riders from my area or met up on the way and we would caravan, but I’d been off the circuit for almost three months now and my usual driving partners were buddied up with other people.
“It’s just you and me, Zip.” I glanced at him. He had stretched out on the truck seat. His nose hung over the edge causing him to snort. He jerked at his name. “Well, and my thoughts.” He huffed and went back to sleep.
There probably was a better way to handle the problem with Delilah but I needed to do this. If I was being perfectly honest with myself, I was getting too old to bull ride much longer. It was harder to stay in shape, I didn’t have as much strength as I used to, and recovery was much longer than when I was younger. Next year, I may not even qualify to go to the Bull Riding Finals. It sucked getting old.
The highway stretched on for what seemed like forever and the markers ticked
on by as the gas gauge slowly dropped until the needle came to rest on empty about an hour outside El Paso. I swung the truck around to park next to a beat-up gas pump. A strong wind rolled off the empty landscape, pulling at my hair and clothes when I climbed out of my truck. The area smelled of gasoline and motor oil. While I filled the tank with gas, Zip trotted to a nearby scrub bush to do his business. There was not much else around besides a little tan house adjacent to the gas station. The desert stretched out for miles in all directions. I squinted into the glare of the sun when a large bird circled overhead. The pump shut off and I headed into the small building to pay.
A bell chimed overhead as I entered. A young boy of eight sat on a high stool at the cash register.
“Mister, do you want a pop or candy?” His thin voice rasped.
“Nah, just the gasoline.” I handed over my credit card. He punched a couple of buttons on the machine. He turned the card over and gasped.
“Mister, are you Kade Kisment, the bull rider?”
“I am.” I smiled at his awestruck face. His eyes were as wide as saucers and his cheeks were rosy with excitement.
“Be right back.” He dropped my card on the counter and sprinted through the back door to the little house. The screen door slammed shut and his high-pitched voice called to someone. Within a second or two, he came running back. A little girl was being dragged behind him, followed by a woman in a flower print dress. I pulled the cowboy hat from my head and held it in my hands.
“See Ma. It’s really him.”
I stretched out my hand to shake hers. “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“This is my ma and my little sister, Sara. We are huge fans of yours.” The boy climbed back on to the stool to continue checking me out. The little girl clung to her ma’s legs. I leaned over and winked at her. She blushed and hid her face in the dress.
“I apologize, Mr. Kisment. We watch bull riding on TV and you’re his favorite.” The woman blushed a little while watching her son finish the transaction. Love and pride shone through her eyes at the little boy. I imagined that’s how Delilah would look at our child if there ever was one. It pulled at my heart that I may never have that family of my own if I didn’t change something.
“Kade is fine,” I said.
“Here’s your card. Mr. Kade. Will you sign my poster?” He pulled out a large poster of a bull kicking up dust.
“Sure thing, kid.” He handed me a marker. I signed the corner of the poster.
“Yippee! Thank you, Mr. Kade.” He beamed at the poster. “I want to ride bulls just like you someday. Are you heading for the Bull Riding Finals?”
I nodded as I placed my cowboy hat on my head.
“Good luck, Mr. Kade.”
“Thanks, kid. Y’all take care, now.” I headed out to my truck. Zip looked at me through the back window, wagging his stumpy tail. I turned my truck towards Vegas as I watched the small family in my rear-view mirror. The woman had her hands on each child as they waved me away. I wished that were how Delilah had watched me go, but she probably never even left the kitchen counter. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel as I thought about how I was going to fix this with her, after the Bull Riding Finals.
ANOTHER NINE HOURS went by before I finally arrived in Las Vegas. The city lit up the night sky like a beacon. Different colored lights flashed. People milled the walkways as I drove my beat-up truck to the hotel where the check-in was held and where all the riders were staying. A smart looking valet hurried to my driver’s door when I pulled up. He handed me a card with a fancy number scrawled on it. I shoved the little card in my pocket and gave him a tip. Zip jumped out and sat next to me on the curb.
“I know it’s tempting but don’t take it for a test drive,” I said, handing over the keys.
The valet laughed as he looked at the rust spots and worn-out seat. “I am holding out at least for a Corvette.” He hopped in and drove away.
Another attendant stood waiting for my bags.
“It’s fine. I got it.” I swung my duffel bag over my one shoulder and hoisted the gear bag in the air. Zip lifted the corner of his lip at the man as we walked on by.
The sliding glass doors opened to the hotel lobby which was decorated in a chess theme. Everything was in black and white, except the employees wore red with black or white pawns on their backs. Alternating black and white tiles ran the length of the floor. In the corners, life-size knights on horses stood opposite of each other. A king and queen sat on thrones above the lobby on each side. Black plush chairs sat around a white table that faced a fireplace. On the table was a game of chess in action.
“How may I help you?” The clerk at the front desk asked.
“I am here for the Bull Riding Finals. My reservation should be under Kade Kisment.” I set down my bags and leaned against the counter.
“Yes, I have you right here. You’re in room 811. Take the elevator on the right and go to the eighth floor. The room shouldn’t be too far down,” he said. He slid the room keys across the white granite. “Check-in for riders is in the White Queen’s Ballroom. Take the hallway to the left and go to the end.”
“Thank you.” I pocketed the keys as a whoop filled the air.
“Well, isn’t it the unlucky Kade Kisment?” A voice called that made my shoulders tighten. I groaned inwardly, and Zip growled next to me. “Are you well enough to hang on for a couple of rides?”
“It’s sure nice to see you too, Garcia.” I turned towards the thin, tightly muscled Hispanic man. His large black cowboy hat sat low over his eyes. His western shirt was buttoned up and closed with a bolo and a large belt buckle graced his jeans. I extended my hand to him. He took it and weakly shook it. “I see you have been cleaning up without me in your way.”
He chuckled before slapping me on the back “May the best or the luckiest cowboy win this weekend, Kisment.”
“Yes, may skill beat out luck.” I nodded to him and walked to the elevator. Zip was still growling at my heels. “It’s fine, boy. He’s obnoxious but harmless.” The elevator door closed around us. “I don’t like him either.” I scratched behind his head as he licked my fingertips. “He has been the luckiest guy on the circuit, but I think his luck has just ran out.”
Chapter 21 November 9th
Delilah
Frustration coursed through me as I ran my peeler around the potato, removing the last bit of skin from it. How could he? How could he just walk out that door like he is healthy as a horse? Did he not care about my feelings? What if he can’t get out of the way and gets injured or killed by one of those bulls?
“Argh!” I groaned in frustration. I slung the skin into the sink, where it landed on top of my growing pile. I threw the clean potato into the other side of the sink well before grabbing the next one. A large rough hand caught my hand with the peeler. “Kade...” I said before I looked over my shoulder into the dark blue eyes of Kaleb.
“Take it easy on the potatoes,” his voice was soft as he extracted the peeler from my fingers. “Everything will be alright.”
“Did you see him? Did he really leave?” I had to ask the question. The ball of pain crept up my throat and my eyes filled with tears. I swallowed, fighting down the emotions.
Kaleb nodded to my questions. All the fears I had been holding in burst out as tears tracked down my cheeks. Looking startled and a little wild-eyed, Kaleb wrapped his arms around me and held me like a big brother would.
“He looked just as broken as you when I saw him,” he said as he rubbed circles on my back.
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” My voice muffled into the soft fabric of his shirt.
Kaleb chuckled and held me tighter, “I tried.”
“What if he gets hurt again? What if he doesn’t come home? He could die!” I said. I leaned away to search his face for an answer. The concern in his eyes radiated out towards me as I wiped at the tears on my cheeks.
“I hope he comes home. Kurt’s flying out to watch him.” He kis
sed the top of my head and headed down the hallway towards his bedroom. “And you don’t have to cook supper.” He called over his shoulder.
I went back to the potatoes. My knife chopped them into small even squares to get dropped into the stew. The rhythmic motions helped to give my hands a task to do as I stewed on Kade leaving. I pulled out my phone from my back pocket and rested it on the counter. Kade’s smiling face from the ride we took a week ago flashed when I pressed the power button. The way the corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled, and the memories of that ride pulled at my heart. Was I foolish to let him walk out the door? Should I have gone with him? He did ask me to go with him. A tear leaked out, rolled down my nose, and dripped to the counter. The phone buzzed and Melanie’s name flashed against the screen. I scrambled to answer it before it went to voicemail.
“Hey girl, how are you? I saw Kade driving through town.” She took a breath. “What’s going on?”
“He left,” I croaked out as the emotions of being left behind and everything the past couple of days welled up again. My hand shook so hard I had to set the knife down on the counter with a clatter. I ran the faucet to gulp some water to ease the knot in my throat.
“He left you?” Melanie’s voice sounded incredulous.
“No, he went to Vegas to ride at the Bull Riding Finals.” A sniffle escaped me.
“Honey, it’s not the end of the world. He’ll come home,” she said.
“But we fought today. What if he doesn’t? What if he hates me? What if he gets hurt? Or worse?” I voiced my worst fears to my best friend. A band of worry constricted around my chest as I gasped for air.
“Honey, calm down. I am sure he doesn’t hate you. Pete’s nanna once told Pete to let them go and if they come back it is meant to be. She is a wise woman.”
“She is.” I nodded in agreement.