“I understand. I promise it’s safe with me.”
He cringed. “This will be the talk of Lovely within a few hours. Everyone wants to know the details, but they don’t realize that knowing them isn’t all that easy.”
“I admire you. I already did, in so many ways, but . . . thank you for being there to put people back together when they’re hurt.”
“People in the medical field need someone to be open with. We usually can trust our partners with this stuff, but . . . I’ve never had that until now.”
“Not with Kim?”
He shook his head. “She would have repeated stuff.”
I nodded.
“What are you smiling about, Mer?”
I shook my head and looked away.
“What? Tell me.”
“I’m just being a girl. It made me feel good that you called me your partner.”
“You’ve become that in my heart. I’m sorry it’s so fucked up because of my mother.”
“No, it’s my own fault.”
He put his thumb on my chin and turned my face so we were eye to eye. “Nothing is your fault. None of this. This isn’t because you didn’t marry Reed, it’s because my mother carries a grudge over it. Tell me you understand that.”
“I do . . .”
“No. There’s doubt in your tone. Tell me you get that the problem is her and not you.”
“The problem is . . . her and not me,” I said, the words feeling foreign.
“We’ll figure it out. I’ve got no problem telling her to deal with it. It’s mostly the boys I worry about.”
“I know. I’m not trying to rush things.”
He cupped my cheeks and pulled me close for a kiss. “I want you to stay here. Go sleep in my bed, and I’ll take the couch. Find some of my clothes to sleep in.”
“You’ve been up all night. You take your bed, and I’ll take the couch.”
“No. Go.”
I got off his lap and realized the first thing I needed to do was clean myself up. Picking up my clothes from the floor, I kept the blanket wrapped around me and headed for Kyle’s bedroom.
He followed me in to clean up and get fresh clothes for himself. I felt bad for taking his huge, comfortable bed, but when he looked at me from the doorway and I saw his expression in the moonlight, I didn’t feel bad anymore. I felt cherished.
Kyle
The news about Madison Golden left Lovely collectively shocked. It was like a hush fell over the town as everyone processed what had happened. Patients told me they were hugging their children closer now and struggling to find a way to tell them about the robbery of Madison’s innocence.
I’d gone through that myself when Kim left—trying to find the balance between being honest with my boys and not disparaging their mother. I was reminded of the conversations we’d had over it when Jordan turned to me Thursday morning over breakfast.
“Do you like Meredith?” he asked me.
I’d had a spoonful of oatmeal halfway to my mouth, and I set it back down in my bowl.
“Of course, I like her.”
His eyes widened with exasperation. “You know what I mean, Dad. Do you like her, like her? The way you used to like Mom?”
I blew out a breath, trying to think fast. The easy way out would be to put him off. I could talk my way around this. I’d tried that at first when Kim left.
But dishonesty had many forms, and I’d ended up feeling like my sons needed me to be the one person in the world who would always be straight with them, even on tough subjects.
“I do like her, yes.”
Jordan nodded. “Does Mom know about her?”
“No. I haven’t talked to your mom in almost a year. If I did, I’d tell you guys.”
“So you still don’t know where she is?”
“No.”
The disappointment in his eyes tore at me. I hated that my kids’ new reality was having a mother who didn’t seem to give a shit about them.
“Do you love Meredith?” Jordan asked.
“I’d say I really like her a lot at this point. It takes time to know if you’re truly in love with someone.”
He went back to his oatmeal, but I could see the wheels still turning in his mind.
“How do you feel about me liking Meredith?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “It’s cool, I guess. She’s nice. And pretty.”
“I want you guys to know I’d never like a woman who didn’t like you and want to spend time with you. It’s not just me, it’s the three of us.”
“I like her,” Eric offered.
“Good.”
“Does she ever . . . drink alcohol?” Jordan asked.
His brows were knitted together with concern in a way no kid’s ever should be. It crushed me.
“She has a glass of wine with dinner sometimes, but that’s all.”
“I wish she wouldn’t drink at all.”
I nodded. “What’s hard about alcohol is that most people can just have a drink once in a while, but some become addicted, like your mom did.”
“So Meredith could get addicted, too?”
“It’s very unlikely. I don’t want you to worry about that.”
“Are you and Meredith getting married?”
“It’s way too soon to be thinking about anything like that,” I said. “We just like being together, and so we’re seeing where that takes us.”
“I can tell you like her by the way you look at her.”
I smiled. “You’re perceptive, kid.”
“What’s perceptive?” Eric asked.
“It means someone who can figure things out.”
“Maybe you should kiss her,” Eric said, giggling as he said it.
“That’s a good idea.”
The doorbell rang then, and I said a silent thank you to Stephanie for being a little early to babysit today.
I cleared away the breakfast dishes and said good-bye to everyone. I’d told Stephanie to make sure the doors were locked at all times and to keep her eyes on the boys when they were outside. Seeing the evil in the world firsthand had made me more vigilant about my own children’s safety.
My surgery schedule had me at the hospital all day today. The morning passed quickly because the surgical teams had to be efficient with so many procedures scheduled.
I was heading to the hospital cafeteria for lunch when I pulled my cell phone from my pocket to check it and saw several texts from Meredith.
Meredith: I’m worried about my dad. He started having chest pains in the middle of a meeting this morning.
Meredith: I’m taking him to the hospital.
Meredith: We’re here. They took him back for tests, and I’m just waiting.
She’d been trying to reach me for a couple hours, and I hated that I’d missed those messages. I stopped walking and turned around, taking the elevator down to the emergency room.
The ER receptionist told me which room they were in, and I went to it, rapping lightly on the wall before pulling aside the curtain.
“Hey,” Meredith said, smiling through tears.
She was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, holding her father’s hand. When she stood, it didn’t matter to either of us that we were trying to keep things on the down low. I went to her with open arms, and she sank against me, pressing her cheek to my chest.
“I’m fine,” her dad said, shaking his head. “There’s no need to cry, Merry.”
“Who’s your doctor?” I asked him. “In here, I mean.”
“Some young kid. I don’t remember his name.”
“Cartwright?”
Meredith nodded. “Yeah, that’s his name.”
I rubbed my palm over her back. “What’s he said so far?”
“He’s got him hooked up to these machines, and he said so far it doesn’t look like another heart attack. But he wants to keep monitoring him to be sure.”
“Okay, that’s good.”
“I see you didn’t listen to me about
seeing him,” her father said, giving her a pointed look.
“Dad, now is not the time.”
He looked at me. “How does your mother treat my daughter, Dr. Lockhart? Do you insist that she respect her?”
Sam Hobbs had gotten agitated quickly. The waves on the paper readout of the electrocardiogram machine started getting bigger.
“Mr. Hobbs, please stay calm,” I said in a steady tone. “You need to take it easy until all the tests are complete.”
“Just answer me,” he said insistently.
“Dad, don’t.” Meredith lifted her head from my chest. “Listen to him. We’re here because you were having severe chest pains. Now is not the time.”
“She’s too good for you,” he said, dropping his head back against the inclined back of the bed. “Any man who won’t stand up for her will never have my blessing.”
His words hit me hard. He was right. I’d been taking everything I needed from Meredith, while not giving her everything she needed in return.
“What can I do for you?” I asked her.
She sighed heavily. “I’m okay. Just really anxious to find out for sure that he’s okay.”
“Why don’t I go see what I can find out from Cartwright?”
She nodded. “That would be good.”
I squeezed her hand and left the small exam room in search of Lovely Hospital’s newest ER doc. I’d only met him once at a meeting.
I caught him leaving another patient’s room.
“Hey, Jonathan,” I said.
“Dr. Lockhart, hey.”
“Kyle.”
He smiled. “Kyle. What’s up?”
“Sam Hobbs, your patient in room four, is . . . a friend of mine. Just wanted to check on him.”
“Oh, sure. It looks like either indigestion or anxiety. No signs of a heart attack. I’m keeping him on an ECG for a little while longer just due to his history.”
“Okay, good. So he’ll be discharged.”
“Yep. With a stern warning about having bacon, sausage, ham, and eggs for breakfast.”
“Are you shitting me?”
“That’s what he told the nurse he had for breakfast at the diner this morning. That’d give anyone heartburn.”
I shook my head. “Damn. Okay. Thanks, man.”
“Sure.”
When I got back to the exam room, Meredith was back at her father’s bedside, holding his hand.
I pulled aside the curtain and said, “Can you come out here for a sec, Mer?”
“Sure.” She wiped her cheeks and stood up.
Her eyes were red-rimmed and filled with worry when she met me in the hallway. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Everything’s good. Why don’t you go down to the cafeteria and grab some lunch?”
“Oh, I couldn’t eat right now.”
“Just try.”
“I don’t want to leave him alone.”
I rubbed her shoulders. “He won’t be alone. I’ll be with him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good—”
“Just trust me. Please?”
She furrowed her brow with uncertainty. “Okay. I’ll just grab my purse.”
I followed her into the exam room, and she told her dad she’d be right back.
“Grab me a cheeseburger, will ya?” he cracked.
Meredith winced at his remark, bowed her head, and left the room.
I pulled a chair up to the side of Sam’s bed and sat down.
“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” he said.
“Well, I’ve got plenty to say to you. And you’re gonna listen to me.”
He scoffed. “You’ve got a lot of nerve. I guess all you Lockharts do, though.”
“I care about Meredith very much.”
“You got a damn fine way of showing—”
I cut him off. “Stop talking and listen to me, will you?”
He glared at me, his lips pressed together in a tight line.
“Meredith is very important to me,” I said. “I didn’t set out to develop feelings for my brother’s former fiancée, and she didn’t set out to develop feelings for Reed’s brother. But here we are. And she’s amazing and my boys are crazy about her. I just want to say . . . about what you said before . . . you’re right.”
“About you not being good enough for her?”
“Yeah . . . up to now, anyway. And about my mom. I’ve tried to straddle the fence on this point by telling her it was none of her business. But you’re right—Meredith deserves for me to stand up for her. And I will.”
He gave me a skeptical look. “You will?”
“I promise you I will . . . if you do something for me.”
He arched his brows as if telling me he was listening.
“You’re the only family Meredith and Lena have,” I said. “Meredith is fiercely devoted to you. And it’s not fair for her to watch you slowly killing yourself by ignoring the diet you’re supposed to be on. It hurts her. And that hurts me. It should hurt you, too.”
His expression dropped from anger into shame.
“She sacrifices for you,” I continued. “She gave up the career she wanted because she’s got your back at the dealership. You need to show her she’s worth sacrificing for, too.”
“I’d never deliberately hurt her,” he said softly.
“I know that. And she probably hasn’t told you how much it hurts her, because she holds everything inside. She’s had to do that for a long time. But when I saw her face when I walked into this room, those tears hurt me, and they ought to hurt you, too.”
Sam sighed heavily. “I hear you.”
“I want you and me to get along. Not just for show. I want us to genuinely like each other. Meredith has too few people in her life for it to be any other way. So tell me—what do I need to do to make that happen?”
After a few seconds of silence, he smiled. “If you make her happy and stand up for her to anyone and everyone, including that mother of yours, that’s all I ask.”
I held out my hand to him. “Deal.”
He shook my hand and met my eyes. “We’re friends now, then. So the next time you need a vehicle of any kind, you come see me. I’ll set you up.”
“I’ll do that.”
“Can you go ask your doctor friend when I can get out of here?”
“It’ll be a couple more hours. Might as well get comfortable.”
He grunted gruffly. “Damn hospitals. I hate ’em.”
“Let’s keep you from needing to come back, then.”
“I suppose you need to go pass out some aspirins you’ll charge patients eighty bucks for or something.”
I smiled at that. “Actually, no. I’m not due back downstairs for another half hour. I think I’ll hang out here with you.”
He shrugged like he didn’t care what I did. I knew better, though.
Meredith
My dad seemed different on the drive back to the dealership from the hospital later that afternoon. He was quiet.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
“I’m good, yeah. I was just thinking . . . Did I ever tell you how much I appreciated you coming to work for me?”
I snuck a glance at him. Something was definitely up. “No. But you don’t need to. We’re family, Dad. I like working for you.”
“Not as much as you would have liked teaching.”
I shrugged. “Who knows? I’m happy with my job, though, so please don’t worry about it.”
“I’ve taken you for granted. You’re a good daughter, Merry. And I may have overreacted about Kyle before.”
“I know you’d like him if you got to know him.”
“I’d like to do that.”
I smiled at him. “Really?”
“How about a cookout at my place this weekend? We can make one of those fish recipes they gave me at the hospital with my diet plan.”
My eyes warmed with a rush of tears, but I forced them back. “I’d love that, Dad.”
I pulled
into the parking lot, and when we were both out of my Jeep, he hugged me.
“You go home and get some rest,” he said. “And I want you to take tomorrow off.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Go do something for yourself. And let me know when you want to have that cookout.”
He went into the dealership, and I got back in my Jeep. I did feel exhausted. Kyle had told me he was having Stephanie stay with the boys until he got home from work, so I drove home.
I considered painting a bookshelf I’d been wanting to get to for months, but I decided on guilty pleasures instead. I ate ice cream for dinner and binge-watched Netflix until I fell asleep on the couch.
When the sound of an incoming text woke me up, it was dark other than the glow of the TV screen. There was a spoon on my chest and an empty ice cream container on the floor.
I had to squint to make out the message on my phone.
Kyle: Just checking on you.
Me: I’m good. Just being lazy.
Kyle: Glad to hear it. And hey . . . I need a favor.
Me: What?
Kyle: Tell me one of your fantasies. Something doable, so not a gangbang or anything . . .
I laughed out loud at that.
Me: Don’t worry, a gangbang isn’t a fantasy of mine.
Kyle: Really fucking glad to hear that.
Me: This is easy. You in scrubs. Playing doctor with me.
Kyle: Role play, huh?
Me: You look really hot in scrubs, Dr. Lockhart.
Kyle: Okay, done.
Me: Done?
Kyle: Tomorrow night at my place. My parents are taking the kids to St. Louis for the night, and they’re leaving at 3. Can you be here at 6?
Me: Yes. What should I bring?
Kyle: Just you.
Me: Okay. See you then.
Kyle: Looking forward to it.
I went back to sleep on the couch, not even bothering to take the spoon off my chest, and slept until seven the next morning. After I got up, I went for a run, showered, and went to the nail salon for a mani/pedi. Then I got a blowout at the hair salon and went shopping for sexy shoes and lingerie.
It was early afternoon when I finished, and I had to force myself not to go into work. Instead, I took a wreath of fresh flowers to my mother’s grave and sat there for a while. She would have liked Kyle and been happy for me. It was nice just to sit near her marker and think about that.
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