by Kai Michaels
My life is so pathetic, I thought as I sat by myself eating a wilted school salad. Out of nowhere in the hall two guys started yelling at each other. It was RJ and Ryan. RJ pushed Ryan and told him to stay away from Tatum.
Ryan pushed back. “Make me.”
Kids immediately circled them both excited to see a fight.
“Dude, you don’t scam on another bro’s date,” RJ said.
“I’ll do what I want!” Suddenly, they were shoving each other into lockers and causing a commotion.
Coach Watkins was between them in an instant breaking it up. Grabbing each of them by the arm, they headed for what I assume was the office.
“Wow, that was the second fight today,” I heard someone say.
The afternoon was even worse. Morgan and Kennedy ignored me the rest of the day and left me again in the parking lot after cheer. I called my mom who came and picked me up.
My face must have said it all. “I’m so sorry,” Mom said. She drove me through the drive through at Smoothie Heaven and we sat and talked in the car for almost an hour. I didn’t want to cry, but I couldn’t help it.
She tried to tell me more stories about similar bad days she had now and then when she was dating Dad. I told her I didn’t want to hear it. After all, things worked out in the end for her. My life was crumbling.
I moped around the house all evening. Finally, at around eight-thirty, I went to bed. As I plugged in my phone for the night, a text popped up. It was Carver. I didn’t even read it. I was not going on another secret texting date tonight, only to be ignored in public. Then I changed my mind. I was going to read it. I was also going to answer. In fact, I was going to tell him exactly how mad I was and that I am nobody’s secret friend. Then I would tell him goodnight and good riddance.
I picked up the phone. It was the longest text I had ever received.
“Hi Tutor,” it began. That made me even more mad. He thinks he can be rude to me in public then just throw out the “Hi Tutor” crap like everything is all right. I read on. “Hi Tutor. I’m so sorry about lunch. I needed to have a serious talk with Logan. We’ve been friends forever. I think you know how I feel about you, but I also didn’t want to hurt Logan. I have never pictured you and Logan together and was just waiting for him to figure that out first. But three months on a claimed list is a long time—longer than I can take. But I couldn’t do anything without letting Logan know that I was about to break his code. Not that I needed his approval, but out of respect for his feelings and our friendship, I felt I needed to talk to him. That’s what I was doing for lunch. I know this is a long explanation to say sorry for lunch, but I really am sorry. And I’m happy to say that he and I are still friends and, more importantly, that I am ready to make good on my tutoring debts, plus perhaps make a prepayment on future tutoring sessions! What do you say?”
My phone seemed to melt my hand and my entire body. “What do I say?” I repeated out loud. “I say YES!” I yelled. I jumped out of bed and ran to my door to tell my mom. When I opened the door she was already there.
“I heard you scream! Are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m all right! I’m more than all right!” I handed her my phone and she read the text. We both jumped up and down together. Then my brother came in from his room. He didn’t even ask what was going on but just started jumping with us.
“It all makes sense now,” I told Mom. “I knew it wasn’t like him to act that way today.” Cam kept jumping and jumping. Finally he jumped back out the door and into his room.
Dad was next to come down. “What’s going on?” Then he saw Mom and me gathered around my phone. “Is this a relationship, boy, um, thing?”
We smiled and nodded.
“Great. Well, if you really need me, I’ll be upstairs.” He turned and left.
Mom and I chatted for a few more minutes and then she left. I couldn’t sleep at all. About an hour later I realized I hadn’t even answered his text.
“Oh my gosh!” I picked up my phone and replied with twenty smiley faces.
Chapter eighteen
Dad drove me to school on his way to work. Grandma was cooking again, so we stopped and got a bagel on the way.
“Tell me again why your friend can’t drive you anymore?” Dad asked.
“I don’t know. They’re upset at me. You don’t want to hear about it.”
“You’re probably right,” Dad joked. “But you know you can tell me anything, right?”
“I know, Dad.”
“And this has nothing to do with that boy who wants to kiss you, does it?”
“No, Dad. It doesn’t involve anyone wanting to kiss me.”
He looked relieved. We pulled up to the front of the school and I got out. “Thanks, Dad. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Maddie. Have a great day.” He drove off and I walked in.
I couldn’t wait to get to math. RJ and Jack were walking into the classroom just ahead of me. Jack turned and winked at me.
“Yo, fellow classmates, I have an announcement I will be making at Lunch. Everyone be sure to meet me in the courtyard.” Then he came and sat right next to me where Carver usually sits. He leaned over and whispered, “Just go with me on this one. It’s perfect. I just have to say, I am definitely a genius.”
“What’s perfect?” I asked. He just winked again. I wondered if he had heard about Carver and me. Maybe he was announcing that he was moving or something, after all, he had accomplished all that we asked of him. Morgan and Kennedy were off the Lip List, even though they were furious about it, and Carver and I are together.
Carver came sliding through the door. He looked at Jack sitting in Carver’s seat and then at me. I shrugged my shoulders and mouthed, “Sorry.” He smiled and found an open seat in the back.
I couldn’t focus on math or anything else. After class, Carver and I walked out together. Logan passed by. He gave me a smile and Carver a pat on the back. Maybe he was more of a gentleman than I gave him credit for.
“So, how about lunch today? It’s my first down payment on my tutoring debt.”
“Of course!” Then I remembered Jack’s big announcement. “But we have to stop in the courtyard first. Jack has some big announcement.”
“See you then,” Carver said. I watched him walk all the way down the hall. I wanted to find Kennedy and tell her everything, but she didn’t even look at me in math. She was obviously still upset.
Jack must have announced it in every class, because once lunch finally came, no one left campus. Everyone had gathered into courtyard to hear from Jack. I felt good, like this was a good way of wrapping everything up.
He jumped up onto the small concrete wall and whistled. “Attention, attention,” he said. Everyone quieted down and stared. “I guess you’re all wondering why I gathered you here today.” Then he paused. “Sorry, dudes, but I always wanted to say that.” He laughed and everyone cheered. I don’t know why, but they did.
Then he started by saying, “Come up here with me Maddie.”
I tried to say what are you doing? with my eyes, but he wasn’t catching on. I stalled and just stood there. Suddenly the crowd was chanting, “Maddie, Maddie, Maddie.” I could tell this wasn’t going to stop until I went up, so I stepped up and stood next to him on the wall.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“Trust me. You’ll thank me later. Just follow my lead.” Then he turned back to the crowd. “Bros and babes, I would simply like to announce that Maddie has agreed to be my girlfriend.” I almost fell over. Before I could do anything he continued. “She is the bread to my butter, the waves to my sand, the . . . lemon lime flavor to my snow cone, the . . .” There was a long pause. “Well, you know what I mean.” Then, right there in front of everyone he kissed me. Not just a quick one either, but a long, take-you-in-my-arms, mushy, slobbery kiss.” The courtyard echoed in cheers. It took a few seconds to pry his lips off of mine, but I finally did.
“That’s all folks!” He announce
d. “Class dismissed.”
“What was that?” I demanded. “I can’t believe—”
Morgan ran up to me shouting. “So that’s how it is. You get us off the Lip List so you can jump right on it.”
“I’m not jumping on it. This wasn’t my plan.” I turned to Jack who was high-fiving the few remaining guys. The rest of the crowd had disappeared to get something to eat before lunch ended.
“Whatever,” Morgan said. “Come on Kennedy.
I slugged Jack in the arm.
“Whoa, a little feisty,” he said with a laugh, directing himself to his buddies.
“Congrats, bro!” RJ said before leaving with Braden and Zach.
I tried to slug him again, but he blocked me with his hand.
“Hold on, hold on. Let me explain.”
“Explain what?” I shouted.
He looked around smiling until the last person had left. “Explain how I just initiated a plan to get you and Carver together. It’s a perfect. I break the bro code by going out with you, so then you’re not claimed anymore. A couple of days later we break up, and voila, you are single, unclaimed, and available. You and Carver can be together in a week!”
“You idiot! We ARE together! He called me last night. He and Logan talked and everything is great!” Suddenly, it hit me. “Carver!” I spun around to find him. The courtyard was empty. “I’ve got to find Carver.”
“What? I had no idea!” Jack said.
I didn’t care about his excuse. “I’ve got to go find him,” I said.
“Let me help!” Jack pleaded. “I really had no idea.”
“No! Please don’t do another thing. Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t try to fix anything. Just don’t.”
“But—”
“Look, I know I brought you into this. I should have never done it. It’s all my fault. I know all you were trying to do was help. Although that kiss seemed to be a little overboard.”
“Sorry about that. I get a little carried away when I’m in character.”
Despite my pain, I had to smile. “That’s all right. But, promise me you will not do anything else.”
He lowered his head and nodded.
I spent the rest of the afternoon texting Carver when I could. I told him that we really needed to talk. But he never replied. He must have turned his phone off because when I called it went straight to his voicemail.
After school I ran to his car hoping to catch him, but he was gone. Tatum told me she saw him leave early. Mom sent me a text asking if I needed a ride. I decided to walk home instead.
Once I got home I went straight to my room. Mom came down.
“What’s wrong, Madds?” She asked.
“Can we talk tonight after the game? I just want to be alone for a while.”
“Of course,” she said.
I called Carver again but his phone was still off. I left a message saying, “Please call me. Can we talk after the game?”
After an hour of feeling sad I came upstairs.
It was a madhouse. Cam was begging mom to have a party for Zane since he didn’t get to have a birthday party with friends this year. Mom finally agreed and called Dad to bring home a cake and a pizza.
“Mom do we really have to have a party tonight?” I asked. It was the last thing I wanted to do.
“I’m sorry, Madds. It’s just pizza and some cake for Cam and Zane,” Mom said. Then, trying to get me to smile, she added, “It’s not like having Zane join us for dinner is that uncommon.”
I forced a grin, “That’s true. He’s read my diary, worn my skirt, and has seen me in my pajamas more than once. I guess he’s like family.”
Dad brought home a pizza and the cheapest cake he could fine at the grocery store.
“What’s this, dear?” Mom asked.
“What do you mean? It’s a cake.”
“This is not a birthday cake.”
“It’s a cake!” Dad insisted. “You didn’t specify birthday cake.”
“But it’s a spice cake. No one likes spice cake. Cam is going to be so disappointed. Plus, it looks old. The frosting is all crusty. How much was this?”
“Fine, you don’t want the spice cake, I’ll go back to the store and pay twenty dollars to get a different cake.”
Dad didn’t go back. No one ate the cake except for Dad and Grandpa.
Cam and Zane whined until everyone was gathered around the kitchen table to play crazy eights and other card games for their party. Since I would be leaving soon for the game, I didn’t play. Grandma and Mom got out of it by telling them they make some cookies since we didn’t have real cake.
Mom made Dad play and Grandpa was more than excited to play. He vowed that he would finally beat those two boys at something. He claimed to be the best card player that ever walked the planet.
“Do you want to bet?” Cam said.
“Absolutely! What do you say? Five bucks to the winner?”
Cam and Zane looked at each other. “We don’t have any money. How about the loser has to wear—”
“Hey, you’re not wearing my cheer skirt again!” I interrupted. “I have a game.”
The two weasels huddled together and whispered.
“I know,” Cam said. “The loser has to wear a pair of underwear on his head during the next game.”
“Cam!” Mom said. “That’s disgusting. Don’t even joke about—”
“You’re on!” Gramps shouted. The two boys cheered. Dad didn’t know what to say. Gramps left the room and returned with a pair of his old underwear.
“Ooh, gross!” Cam and Zane yelled.
Grandma gasped, “Earl!”
But there was no stopping him, Gramps had lost at Space Masters to those two boys one too many times. This was his revenge.
“Are you guys chicken?” Gramps taunted.
Cam and Zane put on their meanest game faces.
“Then let’s go,” Gramps said. “Deal the cards!”
Around they went, each one laying down a card. I had about an hour before I had to leave, so I helped Mom and Grandma. I was getting eggs from the refrigerator when I heard grandpa scream, “Confound it! You two are cheating!”
“A deals a deal,” Cam said.
I turned to see Grandpa pulling the underpants over his bald head. “All right! Deal the cards.”
For the next hour the underwear passed from head to head. I was embarrassed to be part of this family.
“How can they do that?” I ask Mom. “It is so repulsive.”
“Boys will be boys,” She replied with half a smile.
Grandma even had to chuckle. “Earl hasn’t changed a bit since I met him sixty-one years ago.” Her eyes lit up as she talked about Grandpa. “Actually,” she added, “I think Earl has had those underpants for almost that long.” She and mom laughed.
It was strange, but looking at three generations of boys, each taking their turn at wearing a fifty-year-old pair of underpants on their heads, something hit me. I noticed how they were laughing, playing and having a great time—even Dad and Gramps.
It was something beyond what the female mind could comprehend. How could they possibly find putting underwear on their heads as anything but disgusting. I was totally amazed. Yet, there was something so naturally male about the scene. It was the essence of bro-ness. While a moment ago I wanted to rip those underpants off of my dad’s head, now, as strange as it sounds, there was something endearing about it. Not only that, but I could picture Logan, RJ, Carver and the rest of the guys all sitting around laughing and doing the same thing.
I went downstairs to get ready for the game. I questioned my efforts to destroy the guys’ bro code. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be tampered with. Surely girls better than I have tried, without success, over the centuries. Like Mom said, maybe boys will be boys. I realized right then that I had gone too far in thinking I could change what guys were all about. It was clear what I had to do. I got dressed and asked Mom for a ride.
Chapter nineteen
&nb
sp; This was an important game and Myrna decided to hold a pep rally an hour before. I showed up just in time. I knew Myrna would be upset, but I didn’t care. Myrna could do whatever she wanted to me.
When I walked into the gym she gave me a nasty look. “It’s about time,” she said.
“Were you too busy making out to get here on time?” Morgan said.
Aubrey gave me dirty look. She was mad, too, because she had just gone out with Jack just yesterday.
“Yeah, is he as good an actor when he’s kissing,” Kennedy said.
The rest of the girls looked confused.
Just then Jack walked into the gym. He delighted the crowd by doing a cartwheel in the middle of the basketball court on the way to the bleachers. As he passed by the cheerleaders, his friends started chanting, “Kiss her, Kiss her,” over and over referring to our public display of affection during lunch. I looked for Carver, but he wasn’t anywhere in the stands. We began the pep rally with the Coach saying a few words. He got everyone riled up.
Then we passed the microphone around among the cheerleaders. Each of us would yell something like, “Who’s going to win?” and the crowd would yell back, “We are!” When it got to me, the crowd went crazy making kissing sounds and whistling. I wanted to turn and run. Tears were building up in my eyes.
Jack jumped down out of the stands, ran up and grabbed the microphone. The students went nuts.
“Yo,” he said. Then he held up his hands to silence the crowd.
“Hey, I just want to say something serious.” He paused. His smile faded and I could see in his saddened eyes that his days as Jack Fabrizio were about to end. “I made a mistake today,” he continued. “A very big mistake. I shouldn’t have done what I did at lunch.”
“Go for it again, Jack!” RJ yelled from the bleachers.
“Look, I’m serious. And the truth is . . . my name is not Jack.” The audience fell silent. Some were still laughing thinking he was joking, while others were struck with confusion.