by Octavia Kore
All of these solars, he had thought her beautiful, but seeing her in the flesh had taken his breath away.
When she had ventured up near the small, hard growths of the fosalli plants, Gulzar was entranced by her smile and completely missed the presence of the young shayfia lying in wait. Watching her try to lure the juvenile out had stunned him, but she was a goddess. Surely she could protect herself. His ignorance had almost gotten her killed. He barely reached her in time, and the thought of what could have happened to her made him shudder even now. A shayfia of any age was a master of manipulation and used its innocent appearance to draw in prey before swallowing it up.
She was so small and defenseless that the beast could have eaten her in two or three bites. She shifted against him, resting her hands between her face and his chest. In the distance, a clan of tigearas called to one another, their low growls and chirps bouncing off the tree trunks as he carried her farther into the woods.
He wasn’t going to allow anything to harm her or the budding life he sensed growing within her.
He wondered what had brought her here. What would compel her to risk not only her life, but that of her offspring? Was she meant to breathe new life into a species that seemed on the brink of death? Perhaps she was going to somehow cure whatever it was that had caused his people to decline. Was this the reason he had been connected to her for so long?
His people, the offspring of Nem, had prayed diligently for the return of the goddess. Though his goddess was not Una herself, maybe she would bless them in her own way. Unlike the tainted ones, Gulzar’s people had continued to live as Una commanded for as long as they could and they, more than any others, deserved this blessing for their devotion. While they hadn’t been able to create triads for generations, perhaps his little goddess was a sign of forgiveness. The thought that he might be the one to bring this blessing to his people brought him joy, making each step feel like a leap forward. The elders would have no choice but to finally acknowledge that Gulzar the Damned was indeed worthy.
“You will be safe with me, little one,” he whispered.
She squinted up at him before rubbing her eyes. Her smile was radiant, lighting up her entire face, and it was aimed directly at him. Like she had done for as long as he had known her, his little goddess began speaking, filling the silence with a language he was familiar with but had never mastered. When they were young, he had attempted to teach her his native tongue, but gave up soon after when she could barely pronounce his name.
“Did you know about the Sanctus?” he asked, more to himself than to her. “They were taken from us, stolen away. Very few of us remain who possess the gifts they passed down.”
Her big eyes stared up at him. The little female truly was beautiful; her light skin glowed like the sun in the light that filtered down through the trees as they passed beneath. There was a smattering of light brown flecks along her nose and cheeks that reminded him of stars against the dark sky. Her body was soft and rounded, not at all like the females among his tribe. While some were like Ky and Kyra, with lean, slender forms, there were many others who were more muscular with a firm exoskeleton like Gulzar. This female was ethereal, and a sigh fell from his mouth as he moved his ridges to take in her addicting scent once more. She smelled sweeter than the stagorkike root.
Up ahead, just visible in the dim light, was the outline of the standing caves, a grouping of large, porous rocks that provided shelter for many of the hunters who traveled out this far. They could sleep within the hollow center for the night and continue on in the morning. Gulzar set the little goddess on her feet and pointed to the floor.
“Stay here while I fetch you something to eat. Stay. Do not move.” She just looked up at him and he sighed, crouching down in front of her so that he was looking up into her face. “Please, do not leave this cave.”
Unable to resist, Gulzar nuzzled his face against her rounded stomach, minding his ridges as he rubbed against her soft skin. His tongue slipped out to trail a line from the one side to the other, absorbing her taste. Surprise lit his eyes when her scent shifted, changing from the sweetness he had come to know as distinctly her to a more musky, potent aroma. Was she actually responding to his touch or was this some sort of test? She was looking on with wide eyes, her chest rising and falling as she breathed in and out through her parted lips.
Damned. Shamed.
The voices of the elders floated through his mind, and he cast his eyes downward in humiliation at the memory of the last time he was in the temple with them. He had stood before Una’s statue as they proclaimed him fit to live among them; they hadn’t ever let him forget that this didn’t mean he was forgiven. A small hand stroked his face and he looked up, staring at her quizzically as she mumbled something under her breath. Possessiveness welled up inside him and a growl escaped his throat before he could hold it back.
No. She was not his, and he would not be the death of another female.
“Forgive me,” he whispered as he pulled away from her touch, his hands brushing her hips as he stood. “I forgot myself for a moment.” He dropped the body of the dead shayfia on the ground at his feet, shaking it from the tip of his tail. “I will make you a fire before I leave.”
Gulzar stepped back out into the darkness, searching the trees around him until he found what he was looking for. A large leilei leaf stretched away from the main trunk of the tree, its waxy skin reflecting the light of the moons. Within the cup-shaped top of the leaf, water had gathered, and he carefully funneled it into the waterskin at his side.
He had no idea what the little goddess could eat or drink, but he hoped that they were similar enough that nothing he could provide would harm her. It frustrated and annoyed him that after all this time, he still could not communicate with her.
As he walked back, he rummaged for a few broken branches and twigs, grabbing some of the dried bark off of the chari tree to help feed the flames. “I brought water—”
He came to a stop in the entrance, his eyes darting around. She was gone.
“Gleck!” Gulzar dropped the materials he’d been holding and spun on his heel. Why would she have left? The woods were dangerous, especially at night. She hadn’t even been on the planet for an entire day and this was already the second time she was putting herself in danger. Frustration rolled through him, causing his xines to slither over his shoulders in a frenzy.
Who would have known that one little female could cause so much trouble?
Once he had her back in his arms, he wasn’t going to let her leave his sight again. Every terrifying situation she could encounter on her own flitted through his mind and he snarled, following her scent as it disappeared farther into the woods. Tracking her wasn’t hard since she seemed to have touched everything she passed.
Not far ahead he caught the sound of frantic footsteps and took off. With the noise, she was making, she was bound to attract something big. A scream rang through the forest and his heart stopped when it went silent again.
“No!”
Gulzar rushed in the direction it had come from, crashing through a tangle of vines before he saw just what had gotten her.
A sionaea was tipped upward, its petals closing around the goddess’s kicking legs. The massive carnivorous plant struggled to keep her contained, but she was putting up quite the fight. A growl tore from his throat as he lunged forward, wrapping his hands around the thick brown stem and pulling up, yanking the knotted roots from the ground. The flower released her immediately, letting loose a sharp screech as it twitched, its green lifeblood oozing over his hands and down his arms. When it went still, he tossed the wilted plant as far as he could and turned to the female as she sat crying and trembling on the floor of the woods.
“Do you have no sense of self-preservation?” He crouched down to check her for injuries.
There was a long cut near her ankle from where one of the plant’s teeth must have nicked her, but aside from that and being covered from head to toe in the sticky gold
en nectar, she seemed to be fine.
“Are you testing me? Is that why you did something so incredibly reckless?”
She flinched when he reached for her and he sighed, sitting back on his haunches before closing his eyes.
“You have no idea what you mean to me,” he whispered. “I would give my life for yours without question, and yet you …” When Gulzar opened his eyes, he saw that she had stopped crying and was looking at him curiously.
He held his arms open and sent up a thankful prayer when the little goddess crawled over the ground, tucking herself into his embrace before mumbling something he didn’t understand against his chest. Gulzar lifted her up and stood, turning back in the direction of the shelter where he had left her.
When he set her down inside the cave, his little goddess pressed her back against the wall and watched him with large, teary eyes as he gathered the wood he had dropped on the ground. She was quiet as he stacked the wood and nurtured the tiny spark he created from his flint, feeding it the dried bark so that it grew larger and hotter.
Her lower lip trembled like she was going to cry again, but he didn’t think his heart could take anymore of her tears tonight. Thinking back on how Kyra used to console him as a young one, Gulzar sat down beside her and began to stroke her hair, running his fingers through the dark strands. She froze like prey beneath him, her eyes growing wider as her body tensed.
Well, that wasn’t how he had expected it to go. Forcing air over the ridges inside of his crest, Gulzar did his best to imitate the rattling sound he had heard the crested males in his tribe use to soothe their mates or young.
He dropped his hand to the waterskin at his side, bringing it up between them before offering it to her. At first, she shook her head, refusing to take the skin from him. He brought the opening of it to his mouth and took a drink of the cool liquid to show her she had nothing to fear. The second time he held it out to her, she snatched it from his hands immediately and began to guzzle from it like she hadn’t had anything to drink for days.
“Slowly,” he chided when she started to cough. “You will drown yourself and I will have saved you for nothing.” A soft pat on her back seemed to help calm the fit. “If you are this thirsty, you must also be hungry.”
She watched him closely as he began to clean the carcass of the shayfia, laying out the hide and cutting out the best parts to cook for her. The process was just as natural to him as breathing at this point.
Gulzar hunted and lived in the woods far more than he did within the village, avoiding the painful glares and sharp tongues. Most of the females hurried away, shooing their young out of his path. Out here among the trees and animals, Gulzar was alone.
The strips of meat sizzled over the flames, cooking quickly, and he pulled them off, laying them on a section of dried bark before handing them to the goddess. He popped one into his own mouth, chewing the tender meat to show her once again that it would be safe. She needed little reassurance this time, stuffing two of the strips into her mouth and humming in pleasure. She ate zealously, even accepting the ones he had taken for himself when he placed them on her bark.
As her belly filled, the little goddess relaxed and her eyes began to close. He watched as she sank to the floor of the cave, her arm curling beneath her head as her breathing evened out.
A tickle of awareness brushed against his mind and he rattled quietly, placing his palm against her stomach, feeling the answering mental hum of the young within her. His heart ached at the knowledge that he would never have this experience for himself. The only females within his village who spoke to him were Kyra and Ky, and he wasn’t going to be mating with either of them. Even if he were to find a female who didn’t care about his status within the village, he would never feel comfortable risking her life to reproduce.
The little life within her thrilled when he pushed another rattle through his crest and a small vibration moved against his hand. Choking back the emotions that coursed through him, Gulzar pressed his face against her belly like he had earlier, but this time he felt the gentle ripple of movement.
Two small hands landed on his shoulders, stilling when the little one moved once more. His little goddess gasped, jolting upright. When he looked up into her face, he saw the shock that registered in her eyes as she stared down at him. Perhaps she hadn’t been aware of the pregnancy.
No matter. He would protect them both for as long as he was able. Her fingers played over his xines in an almost affectionate manner, reaching to cup the back of his head and bring him closer with the next flutter. For a moment, he could almost imagine this was his life, that his little goddess was actually his, that they had created this life within her.
This will never belong to you. You are unworthy. You are damned.
Gulzar closed his eyes, banishing the voices as he let her touch soothe him. For this one night, he would allow himself to dream, to pretend that this was his, and he would cherish every second.
Gulzar caught the little goddess by the arm, saving her for what felt like the hundredth time since they had started off on their trek. The sun was still low in the sky, but they had already made many stops. She seemed to be completely oblivious to all of the dangers hidden within the woods around her, and he was certain he had already lost solars off of his life just trying to make sure she didn’t get herself killed. Like Ky had the day she went out on the hunt with him, the little female made enough noise to alert anything within earshot that they were there.
“Sare, sare. Aye doont meen taoo bee ah bhurdin,” she told him, brushing her hair away from her face.
He wished that he had been blessed by the goddess so that he could communicate and understand her, but that was a privilege he would never be allowed. Gulzar ran a clawed finger over her chin before scooping her up into his arms.
“We will travel much faster this way.”
The female kept her eyes affixed to his face like she was mapping all of his features. It made him uncomfortable. No one but her had ever paid him so much attention in his entire life. With her safely clutched against his chest, Gulzar moved quickly over the uneven ground, dodging large rocks and fallen trees, avoiding problem areas where predators liked to converge. He glanced down at her to find her still watching him, but now her brows were drawn together in what seemed to be concentration. Perhaps there was something wrong with his face. Shifting her weight, he freed one hand, pressing it against his chest.
“I am called Gulzar.” He indicated himself. “Gul-zar.”
“Nkoul-zar,” she tried, failing to produce the guttural sound at the beginning of his name just as she had all those solars before.
“Guul-zar,” he repeated, drawing out the syllables as clearly as he could.
“Knoul-zar.” A rumbling laugh vibrated through his chest. He continued on, watching as a female feondour and her young scurried out of his path. The long barbs that covered her back ran along the ground behind her as she led the younglings into the thick undergrowth and out of sight.
“Zar?”
The sound of the old name caused him to stumble. He had been sure she had forgotten about it, but he saw the recognition light her face.
“Yes, little goddess.”
“Yew… yew arr Zar.” Her mouth dropped open as she stared at him. “Holi fhuk.”
He wasn’t sure what “holi fhuk” meant, but he caught his name and nodded. “Yes. I am Zar and you are my little goddess.”
Tears welled up in her eyes as her hands framed his face before she threw her arms around him. His entire life he had wished for this, to be able to actually hold her outside of a dream.
“Ahmaenduh.” She pulled back and moved her hand to a spot just above her breasts.
“Ahmaenduh,” Gulzar grinned with pride at his pronunciation, but her brows drew down and she shook her head, repeating herself.
Pursing his lips, he tried once more, watching her mouth as she spoke her name and mimicking as best as he could. After a few attempts, however, she
giggled and shook her head in the same way she had done when they were young, waving her hand as if to say he should give up. Gulzar forced a rattle through his crest and pressed his hand to her chest as he said, “Mikri thea.” It was an old term in a language they rarely used anymore that meant “little goddess,” and it had become his name for her.
Her slender hand came up to cover his where it rested against her skin, and she gave him the sweetest smile. “Mikri thea.”
Something brushed against the edges of his mind just as she flinched, moving her hand down to rub over her abdomen. The youngling was awake and vying for attention. Gulzar rattled again, sending a mental caress along the link that had already formed between them.
It fascinated him, this bond that he felt with a being that he had no part in creating, who he had only just met. No one in his tribe, not even the ones he counted as his friends, had reached out to him in this way. To have someone so innocent and pure initiate a mental link this strong humbled him in a way nothing else ever would.
They didn’t get very far before it was obvious that she was in distress. She wiggled free from his arms, stumbling over to a small tree before emptying her stomach. He rubbed her back as she bent over, his other hand holding her hair out of the way as she gagged. Maybe the meal hadn’t agreed with her.
When she turned back to him, her complexion looked pale and waxy as she wiped at her mouth. Anxiety shot through him as her legs gave out and she fell to the ground. Something wasn’t right. He gathered her up, ignoring her weak protests. She needed a healer, but he wasn’t convinced she had it in her to make it the rest of the way to the village. His fingertips brushed along her cheek.
He would find shelter and allow her to rest. Tomorrow, they could try again.
Chapter 19
Amanda
A gentle hand squeezed her shoulder, trying to wake her, but she grumbled against the massive body in front of her. This didn’t feel like Oshen, but she felt the pull all the same and snuggled closer, burrowing back into her dream.