Four Decades And A Poem

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Four Decades And A Poem Page 6

by Lencio Rodrigues


  Dj

  It’s gonna be alright,

  By the time the sun touches the horizon

  By the time, it’s time for us to sleep,

  Situations forgotten,

  Troubles, lost in the dead of the night.

  The rhythm of the night will play you a melody

  While your troubled soul will waltz

  to the ballads in your dreams.

  I am persuaded to believe

  your heart has begun to smile,

  and see rays of the next sunrise,

  as I fight to understand what made you so

  restless at the mistakes we made today,

  Those, usually overlooked

  and I wonder if I have said or done anything wrong.

  I don’t recollect…

  Cause I am so used to saying things

  and doings

  that I don’t have to think you can tolerate.

  I feel the silence as Fausto Papetti

  plays Emmanuelle in my ears,

  To finally see peace on your enchanting face,

  your light snoring, confirming

  you’re not troubled anymore.

  My job is done,

  I fade the music and switch off the lights

  I have been your DJ for the night

  Playin’ you the tunes you so needed…

  Cherry Blossom

  Trains slide to and fro,

  station crowded

  as if to watch a rare solar occurrence,

  jostling, rushing

  feet stamping…

  My right foot goes up his pedestal

  for the third time today

  “Sahib, extra shine?”

  He asks, catching the tossed coins…

  Accompanying

  My soul wanders

  like a thirsting eagle

  over lands far and near

  and beyond cosmic horizons.

  I emerge from deep oceans

  and disappear into somber clouds,

  I appear to the raindrops

  crying over your pain

  and fade with the rainbow,

  I dance to the sunrays

  and vanish like bubbles

  of waves upon the shore,

  I swirl with the whirlwind

  to be found in your thoughts,

  I whisper to your sighs

  and alleviate the sore winds…

  What would I not lose

  to win your love but this life

  that I can regain no more?

  When your dreams die out

  and your heart has come to life,

  ready to love again,

  ~ I’ll fly away…

  One Sided

  When life is a one sided game

  we’re left to contemplate

  who the winner is.

  Though one sided,

  the game does have two players

  both strong, headstrong.

  Today there is turmoil on the board

  you played your move

  while I am playing mine

  alone, one sided.

  On your subsequent move,

  I’ve decided neither to attack you

  nor to play my move

  but simply move on and let you win.

  ~*~

  sand tickles pebbles

  running to shore now and then

  ~ waves laugh and crash.

  ~*~

  A Mother’s Lament

  Sleep little ones, this night will be long,

  Let peace not be disturbed with light of day,

  Sleep gently, until angels sing a song

  and heartless men come to take you away.

  Staring at your sleeping remains tonight,

  Frail bodies wilted in profound slumber

  Like flowers trampled in a horses flight,

  Deafened evermore to bombing thunder.

  Sleepy guiltless faces soft with sweetness

  Strength curled up in the stiffness of battle

  Blood run deep beneath the soil so ruthless

  While tanks and arms roll over and rattle.

  So sleep now in my arms like a kingdom,

  gently, until you soar to your freedom…

  ~*~

  without complaining

  blossoms give birth to sweet fruits

  standing in the sun

  ~*~

  The Strength of a Man

  The strength of a man lies in his dreams,

  Dreams fantasized from the strength of reality

  Bodily strength can achieve these dreams

  With the strength of his soul guiding him.

  The strength of a man lies in his heart,

  A heart built on the strength of his love

  Love, bringing comfort and strength to others

  The strength needed to live from day to day.

  The strength of a man lies in his hands,

  Not in strength and sharpness of swords

  Not in the strength and impact of his blows

  But in strength and power of his soothing touch.

  The strength of a man lies in his tongue,

  In the strength of the words he speaks

  Revealing his strength and stability of mind

  The strength needed to control his dreams.

  The strength of a man lies solely in him,

  In the strength of his dreams and goals

  In the strength of his beliefs to overcome

  and the strength that is bestowed upon him.

  The Yellow Leaves of Autumn

  Summer’s gone,

  and every morning I now see

  new leaves adding to the sidewalk,

  The older ones turning crisp,

  crushing under my feet.

  Some look like crescent moons,

  others like stars,

  and I wonder why

  when the weather is so pleasant

  they can’t cling on to the trees?

  Why, when the sun burnt them,

  they danced so merrily in the summer breeze?

  Is it the winter they dread?

  And then I guess the purpose of life,

  How everything must come to an end…

  Relationships, seasons,

  fame, life’s games,

  and at last, life itself.

  The leaves of autumn,

  they thought me to bear the pain

  that comes with everything that ends,

  I could hear the leaves whispering

  as they rustled

  in the soft morning autumn breeze.

  Soon there’d be a spring

  and a memory to go with every tear…

  Beyond the Horizon

  In the quietness of my solitude I see,

  a soldier, a mother: streams of emotions,

  nameless, unfamiliar faces.

  Beyond the horizons of my mind,

  where the sun never sets,

  and the dreadful dawn deafens

  the laughter of his children.

  Beyond the horizon, a season of fear,

  rage and uncertainty,

  blows winds far over his home.

  In the quietness of my solitude I hear,

  a soldier, a father: a falling tear

  innocent familiar voices.

  Beyond the horizon, sacrifices

  turn into joy or pain,

  when he returns home,<
br />
  ~ loser or a valiant fighter,

  amidst smiles or tears,

  into arms stretched out or holding…

  The soldier, in every way, a hero.

  Evaporating

  I stepped into the garden this morning,

  while the dew

  was still on the flowers,

  Basking in the soothing sun,

  catching glimpses of nature’s exquisiteness,

  buried bottomless by my busy life,

  as drops glided like children over slides

  on merry evenings.

  Each drop like a universe,

  held a marvel of its own,

  feeding my arid soul.

  S

  l

  i

  d

  i

  n

  g

  like teardrops

  over smooth delicate rosy cheeks

  and evaporating.

  Off Balance

  Our love has turned me into an acrobat,

  and I am walking the tight rope

  every second of my life,

  keeping equilibrium

  so my mind may not explode,

  spilling sparks of sorrowed solitude,

  throwing me off this thin-skinned twine.

  I wonder where and what I am,

  As I am holding on, onto this fragile rope

  and walking on it at the same time

  balancing frustration, anguish and loneliness

  with fake satisfaction, delight and company of strangers.

  Silently I beg unto you

  to have pity on me

  and make me suffer no more,

  but you can’t hear me…

  no more.

  ‘cause,

  you have reached too far

  that the voice of my insufferable soul

  doesn’t resonate to where you are – in a world of your own.

  Soon I will fall off balance,

  the weight of despair and isolation

  has taken its toll…

  An Ode to Myself

  I followed the sun, crossed the rivers,

  Scaled the mountains,

  Stumbled, scraped and bruised.

  In my younger days

  The mountains seemed so high

  and the rivers, deep.

  I grew,

  These mountains too

  and the rivers grew even deeper,

  Washing me out into the vast ocean.

  The feelings, haunting, tormenting,

  The people I used to die for,

  Changed.

  And my feelings for them changed too.

  Even though in their own time and phases

  of torment and vulnerability.

  Many times I died

  and resurrected,

  Because the world I live in

  Never got enough of me.

  ~*~

  chime of falling pins

  sound like rude thunder

  ~ meditation

  ~*~

  Love and Lust: A Perfect Spell

  (Shakespearean Sonnet)

  Left on edges of very sharp pieces

  Mistaken visions drowned by unflawed lust,

  My heart followed all your whims and wishes

  The fire of one night turned all to dust.

  Soul and body fluttered to touch your face,

  And gravity failed, to keep me aground

  Flying in cloud nine as my heartbeats raced,

  Hearing your whispers like spring breeze around.

  The farewell has left an endless simmer

  Our time together doesn’t seem squandered

  Passion still wakens from its slight glimmer

  Coming back from wherever it’s wandered

  Our bodies and soul cast a perfect spell

  Love it was, our heartbeat and eyes could tell

  ~*~

  calm nocturnal hours

  watch cicadas one-eyed

  awaking the hills.

  ~*~

  Lost Pages

  Life is at the centre of its reading

  taking a bit too long,

  Suspense,

  protracted in the face of complexity,

  Halting, wasting time to find meanings.

  Sometimes the pages are dog eared

  and we have to unfurl

  the surprises it holds for us

  waiting at the corners.

  But what can we say of life,

  when the thrilling chapters read

  spending half our lives

  are forgotten,

  Pages torn, lost and dampened

  on the green grass of yesteryears?

  And then, how can we complete this story

  with missing pages?

  Love has no appearance

  I have not been pained to see our feelings fading and dying,

  From a purest, my love flowed and pierced your once seeking heart,

  Overwhelming every love and nature’s altruism.

  I have not known a world existing of shame or fame,

  Oblivious to labeled facets of love, but one.

  Love is for those to take and for whom it is given freely,

  Without complaint, without expectation, without hesitation,

  Not for the refusing, but for the bruising.

  You can’t blame if love doesn’t know how to stop,

  As much as I want you to go away, that much, I want you to stay.

  Finding new happiness is not finding love,

  For happiness is but ephemeral, fleeting like the dawn,

  Like a bad dream, that has no connection with love,

  And fades before the sunny morning comes

  But love is buried like a tuberous root waiting for the rain.

  If love was of one kind and for just one creature of this cosmos,

  I’d lock my heart and wait for an echo, of one who holds the key,

  But love is supremely vast and with no form,

  Like the source of creation I acknowledge with every tick of time

  and bow before you as though you were my God.

  A Life Still Beautiful

  Thank you for saving my life,

  It was vital then.

  In those critical moments,

  - all I needed was life…

  My death began as your blood

  ran through my veins,

  Slower than tongues

  spreading news I had AIDS.

  I became the child whore,

  punished by God’s wrath,

  and this scourge, my fault.

  How could anyone hold you responsible?

  How could anyone victimize me?

  Terrorize a life I still found beautiful.

  They have been terrified

  of touching the mud from my grave,

  Truth unknown, my story unforgotten,

  Even though my body has long been rotten.

  Thank you for saving my life,

  You were not responsible then,

  Not now or ever.

  - For all I needed was life,

  and you gave it to me…

  The Unsung Village Hero ~ For Dileep

  The folk made your life a mystery,

  A legend to travel down the generations.

  A child trapped in a man’s body,

  intoxicated in a world of your own

  with nothing to blame the
end.

  The folk made your life a mystery,

  Possessed by the devil who stole and

  flew you into the depths of the black forest,

  where the village could hear your wailing

  and the sound of beating - far, near, then far…

  A legend travels down to the generations

  of your brilliance, and what became of it,

  The part of the village life that you were

  The life of the village that you were –

  A mere Market Square entertainer.

  A child trapped in a man’s body,

  You loved the company of children.

  You desired to go to school it seemed,

  Going there while the children returned home,

  Crying to see no students or teachers anywhere.

  Intoxicated in a world of your own

  where everything seemed senseless

  to you and to those around you,

  “Taking” to smoking two cigarettes at a time,

  Offered by cocky brainless fools.

  With nothing to blame the end,

  your end ended everyone’s burdens,

  As an angel of mercy led you to that black forest –

  to be lost and found in your usual tattered suit,

  decomposed and resting in peace…

  Leaving No Spaces

  When the eternal daylight fades

  turning into Eden, your brief absence

  like delayed creation finds me by myself,

  Lured to eat the fruits of my own accord.

  Spaces among sheets feel like your subtle skin

  My own breath clenching as you leave me naked

  in craving that will never be lost or faded,

  Our hundredth moment feeling like the first.

  I, no stranger to the soles of your feet.

  your every curve and nerve visible or not –

  Those that speak your demands to my soul.

  My brain cells daubed by your perfume

  replays our last refrain of last morning,

  While your perfume in the room enhances.

  The Builder

  Death,

  warrants him hope, a new promise.

  It isn’t his childhood horror-tale-terror anymore,

  With illusions or shadows walking

  into the midnight until dawn,

  fears of silent nights,

  and whispers of the dark wind,

  or the qualms of another dying soul.

 

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