“Honestly, Dom, I don’t need to here. You get some sleep so you’ll be ready for their kind. Oh, there is one thing I’ve been told I should tell you.”
I found I didn’t have much breath to say “What’s that, Bobby?”
“Could you make sure you get here before the children do? Then there’ll be plenty of time to explain why you’re here and for them to get used to it before we start the session.”
“I’ll be in good time.” I thought of wishing her a sound sleep or words to that effect, but it reminded me of how unaware she already was of her situation. “See you then,” I was reduced to repeating.
That night I slept hardly at all. I couldn’t help wondering whether the Nobles had some trick in mind, as I had. I was going to need to seem gullible, but would they believe I was? Since Bobby had succumbed to their persuasiveness, perhaps they could accept I was just as susceptible. The thought of Bobby revived my guilt over having put her at the mercy of the Nobles, even if I couldn’t have foreseen that she of all people would be. “I’ll get her back as well,” I vowed, though I wasn’t sure I’d spoken, and tried not to think I sounded like a character in a tale for children, or a childish tale, or both.
I left the house soon after dawn. I’d loitered in the shower, hoping it would help to wake me up, but the deserted roads felt like dreams—insubstantial, temporary, distorted by my mind. Set after set of traffic lights appeared to rouse themselves at my approach, toying with amber before rearing up red. From a side street I heard a violent argument, inside a house or otherwise out of sight, but couldn’t tell how many participants it involved: perhaps just a solitary combatant, haranguing himself more fiercely after each pause for breath. As I drove along Walton Vale out of the city, one of the shop windows flared blue—no, a television screen as big as any of the windows—and then the pane went dark as a police car swung out of the street opposite, roof light flashing. Hundreds of yards ahead along an empty pavement I saw a balloon-seller trudging home with samples of his wares on strings, dragging them over the flagstones around him. I was alongside him before I realised he had a pair of leads in each hand and a dog at the end of every lead. Even then I had to peer in the mirror to convince myself.
As I’d driven through the streets daylight climbed the sky, but I had the impression that it was simply coating the vast dark. In the open countryside I was even more aware of the hidden darkness resting on the sky like an oppressive weight supported by a flimsy shell. Lying low in the midst of the land that stretched flat to the horizon was Safe To Sleep, which put me in mind of a spider poised at the centre of a web that had drawn me in. “Stay awake,” I muttered at myself as I reached the gates. “Stay awake.”
The gates swung inwards and then met behind me with as little noise as their image in the mirror. As I drove along the avenue I was conscious of the mounds that infested the grass on either side, because I couldn’t quell a fancy that they shifted almost imperceptibly whenever trees blocked them from view. I tried to concentrate on the house, which felt as though it was growing ever more aware of me, even though I saw not a single face. I was parking near the wide steps when Bobby opened the front door and blinked at the sunlight. “Here he is,” she called over her shoulder.
She sounded far too much like a member of the Noble family, or at the very least an old friend. This made me falter as I headed for the steps, and she held out her hands. “Don’t be nervous, Dominic. There’s honestly no need.”
I wanted to believe that her behaviour was meant to help me trick her hosts, but she would have let me know last night if it were a pretence. I was about to respond, however little I could trust myself to say, when Tina Noble said “That’s the way, Bobby. Bring our guest in.”
She appeared at Bobby’s back as though she was forming out of the gloom beyond the doorway. Her long smooth oval face leaned out to gaze at me, and I was put more than ever in mind of a snake, but she was deadlier still. She looked so much like a threat to my friend that I was provoked to demand “She’s Bobby to you too, is she?”
Tina laid a hand on Bobby’s shoulder, a move I found worse than manipulative. “That’s what she called herself when we first met,” she said.
I remembered the toddler on the swing, who had wanted to be sent past the sky. “Your mother didn’t call her that,” I said in case it made a point somehow.
“I don’t think she liked me to have friends. You’d wonder why as a parent yourself.”
I didn’t need to wonder, I was sure Mrs Noble would have been afraid of how her daughter might affect other children if not infect them. I was trying not to feel the same about my son—surely soon enough I wouldn’t need to—when Tina said “She called you Sheldrake, didn’t she? Not even Mr Sheldrake, the way my father did. You didn’t like that very much.”
This revived the encounter so vividly that I could have thought she meant to undermine my sense of time, “And your other friend was Jim,” she said, “She called him James, of course. Will we be seeing him as well?”
“I shouldn’t think so. He’s moved away, and he’s with the police.” I might have brought up Farr and Black, but there was something else I wanted Bobby to know. “Just remind me,” I said to Tina Noble, “what happened to your mother.”
“She wasn’t strong enough to deal with all the truth. She had a whole series of breakdowns, and they must have been too much for her as well. She took her own life.” As I looked for even a trace of regret in her eyes Tina said “You can see the truth doesn’t affect everyone that way, though.”
When Bobby gave a gentle nod I realised Tina meant her. She still had a hand on Bobby’s shoulder, and I had a sense that she’d reduced my friend to little more than a puppet. In the hope of breaking the tableau I said “You wanted me to come in.”
“Decidedly so. We’ve been waiting for you, Dominic.”
As I climbed the steps she let go of Bobby at last, and Bobby followed her into the house. “Close the door when you’re ready, Dominic,” Tina said.
I shut it behind me, which left the lobby darker than I thought it should be. Although indirect sunlight filled the windows above the half-landing, the lower staircase was little better than twilit, as if a remnant of the night had lingered or been drawn into the house. I found it hard to distinguish Tina’s face as she said “So you’ve decided to give us a chance after all.”
“For the sake of my son.”
“That’s a reason.” I could have taken this for a sly question until she said “You’ll be more equipped to relate to him. You’ll be closer than you ever have been.”
I struggled to pretend that I appreciated her concern. “Like your family,” I said.
She emitted a sound like the beginning of a giggle. “Not that close.”
I hadn’t time to interpret this, having realised I should learn “Does Toby know I’m here?”
“None of us will have told him. Why do you ask?”
“In case it might put him off.”
In fact I was establishing that Lesley didn’t know, which left me feeling more complicit with Tina Noble than I cared to be until she said “I can’t imagine you’ll present a problem. He’s coped with bigger things.”
Rather than answer I swallowed, feeling nauseous with rage. As I searched for some remark that might disguise my thoughts, I heard movement upstairs—footsteps accompanied by scurrying. “Let’s greet the novice,” Christian Noble said.
The source of the scurrying appeared before he did. His infant grandson scuttled out of the left-hand corridor on all fours and immediately reared up, grabbing the banister. His miniature version of the Noble face looked so triumphant that I couldn’t think he was proud just of his antics. While he had to plant both feet on every stair, he came towards me at such a speed that he barely had time to pat each upright of the banister. “Dominic Sheldrake,” he piped, by no means only once.
I could easily have fancied that the repetitions of my name were a summons or a charm, and I found myself maki
ng an effort to resist both. His small but wide eyes were intent on me, and as he came closer their gaze seemed to strengthen, as if they were gathering the gloom into their depths. I had to force myself to look away to find Christian Noble, who was following him at such a stately pace that it suggested a ritual. “Well, Mr Sheldrake,” he said from halfway down the stairs, “have you come to make amends?”
“As I’ve told your daughter, I’m here for my son.”
When he paused I was afraid my words had inadvertently hinted at my plan. “That’s all that will be necessary, then,” he said.
“Can I ask how you mean that?”
As Toph rested a hand on the lowest newel of the banister and gazed up into my face, Noble said “We won’t insist on any compensation for the past. Nothing you can do matters much, Mr Sheldrake.”
“Not big enough,” Toph piped with a giggle very much like the one his mother had curtailed. “Too little in the dark.”
“I still can’t get over how bright he is,” Bobby said to Tina. “Do you think he’s even brighter than you were at his age?”
“He would be.”
“Because he’s had you and his grandfather to help him develop, you mean.”
“You can put it that way if you like.”
I wondered how else you would put it, and felt provoked to ask “How about his father? Doesn’t he come into it at all?”
At once three pairs of eyes were fixed on me. Not just the faces but the intense stares were so similar that I felt as though a single consciousness was observing me from three positions in the dimness. Perhaps the light from the windows over the stairs was interfering with my vision, because the lobby seemed to have grown abruptly darker. As far as I could make her out, Bobby looked bemused by the silence. The lack of any answer to my question had begun to feel oppressive, even threatening, by the time she said with audible relief “Here’s someone else.”
When she moved to open the front door I could have thought she was anxious to let more light in. The sun above the avenue drove the darkness back to loiter in the corners beyond the stairs. A Mini as blue as the cloudless sky was lining up beside my car, and when Phoebe Sweet climbed out she was plainly expecting me. “So you’re joining us like your friend, Mr Sheldrake,” she said as she trotted up the steps.
The succession of guarded greetings had begun to feel like a ritual in which I was trapped. “She’s shown me the error of my ways,” I said.
“And can I ask what you’re hoping for?”
“To be together with my son again.”
“Yes, we heard your family had been split up.” This felt far too much like an accusation.
“Who told you that?”
“Why, Toby did. Who else would you think?”
“What did he say?” I had to ask.
“He’d like you all to be together as you were.”
“Well, that’s direct.” I meant her words, not his. “I’d like nothing better,” I said, “than for us to be a normal family as well.”
Toph giggled as though at a private joke, and I struggled not to clench my fists, having been reminded that Tina Noble had ensured my family was far from normal almost as soon as Toby was born. Phoebe Sweet peered at Toph and then along the avenue. “Is that the children?”
In a moment I heard the bus on the road, and she waved a finger at me. I could have taken this for an admonition if she hadn’t said “How are we going to present Mr Sheldrake?”
For the first time Bobby seemed a little nervous. “Present,” she said.
“Yes, to the children. How do we make sure they aren’t troubled by having him here? You were a stranger they could get used to, but he’s Toby’s father.”
“Make him small like me,” Toph said.
He was sitting on the stairs now. While many toddlers might have done that, his back was so straight and his head so high that he resembled a prince on a throne if not a king issuing a decree. “How would you do that?” Bobby said with a hint of wariness.
“Sit him down like me. Put him out on the steps so they see him.”
“That’s a splendid idea,” Phoebe Sweet said, and I saw Bobby regain her admiration for the youngest Noble. “You won’t mind, Mr Sheldrake, will you?”
“Not if it makes life easier.”
Toph giggled and rose to his feet in a single fluid movement. As Bobby looked no less impressed than Phoebe Sweet did he said “I’ll sit by him so they see I’m with him.”
Both the proposal and the way it was expressed struck me as worse than precocious, but I couldn’t demur when so much was at stake, and I sat to the right of the front door. Though the top step was still chilled by the night, I didn’t shiver until Toph perched beside me, splaying out his legs in a pose more childish than I’d come to expect of him. I’d braced myself against flinching in case he used me for support as he sat down, and so I managed to stay poised when he squirmed to lean towards me and gaze up into my face. “Not small enough. Go down two,” he said.
“I should be on your level, should I, Christopher?”
He didn’t speak, but his unblinking gaze appeared to darken and gain depth. As I shifted to the third step down I took the opportunity to inch sideways, away from him. My head was next to his now, and his scrutiny hadn’t faltered. “Aren’t I meant to call you Christopher?” I felt driven to ask.
“That’s me now.”
“So you don’t mind if I use it.” I couldn’t help addressing him like someone significantly older. “There isn’t a name you’d prefer me to use,” I said.
“You’ll know soon.”
Christian Noble hurried out onto the steps, and I had an odd sense that he wanted to terminate the conversation. Perhaps he was simply preparing to greet the children, since the bus was through the gates. “Here are your companions, Christopher,” he said.
The bus swung out of the avenue and halted parallel to the steps. More than a dozen small heads turned towards me, and an open window let me hear Claudine say “Toby, there’s your dad.”
“It must be all right. He’s with Toph.”
I was appalled to be grateful for the infant’s presence and dismayed by how much trust my son placed in him. I made myself stay seated next to Toph while the children left the bus, though I felt not much better than pinned down by an unspoken command. Toby dodged around several children and ran to the steps. “Dad, why are you here?”
I did my best to think he wasn’t wishing me elsewhere. “So we’re together, Toby.”
“Is mum as well?”
“Perhaps we’ll talk to her about it. You’ve just got me today.”
Claudine advanced to stand beside him. “Doctor Phoebe, can I bring my mum?”
The women had emerged onto the steps. I saw the question take Phoebe Sweet off guard, and it was Tina Noble who answered. “All in good time, Claudine.”
A chorus of murmurs signified the excitement that an older girl put into words. “When can our parents come?”
“We said not yet, Debbie. They’ll learn what you know soon enough. Toby’s father is joining us today because he’s Bobby’s friend as well.”
As I worked on manufacturing an appreciative smile, the children made another kind of murmur. “Don’t say that’s disappointment I hear,” Christian Noble said. “You ought to be glad you’re the chosen.”
“And do remember being chosen means you have to keep our secret,” Tina Noble said. “Some people wouldn’t understand what it’s like for us to go into the sleep, and by the time you found out who they are it would be too late.”
“There are even people who would want to stop it,” her father said.
I felt as if the entire Noble family had focused on me, a sensation like the closing of a cold yet insubstantial grasp. I was keeping my eyes on Toby as I did my utmost to retain my smile when Phoebe Sweet said “So are we all ready for our sleep?”
“Yes,” quite a few children cried, and I told myself the chorus sounded only coincidentally like a hiss.
As it subsided Toph said “What are we going to show Dominic Sheldrake?”
“He means my dad,” Toby said. “Where’ll they take us when we’re asleep?”
A boy some years older than Toby spoke at once. “To listen to the head with moons for all its eyes.”
The chorus of assent sounded more sibilant than ever, not least because Toph had joined in. “Don’t expect too much of Toby’s father when it’s only his first time,” Phoebe Sweet said, though she appeared not to be directing this at Toph. “Remember how that was for you, and he has more getting used to it to do. Line up like good children now, and when you’ve been you can wait in the sleeping room.”
She might have been trying to reclaim the mundane on my behalf if not her own. As the children headed for the toilets, Toph took hold of my shoulder. He could have been supporting himself while he stood up, except that he’d had no need to do so on the stairs. I thought he was treating me like an acquisition, and I had to make an effort not to move out of reach, especially since the small fingers felt as if they were palpating my shoulder. Before they let go at last I’d begun to have the unwelcome idea that the fingers weren’t moving—that their flesh was pulsing like a heart. The toddler rose to his feet and turned to the house in a single apparently effortless movement, and as he sauntered inside I made to follow him. “You may as well stay where you are, Dominic,” Christian Noble said. “You’ll be fetched.”
I felt absurdly like a beggar told to wait outside a palatial residence. I heard children chattering beyond the lobby but couldn’t distinguish my son’s voice. A second minibus arrived, closely followed by a third, and the variously youthful passengers stared at me on their way into the house. I was gazing so hard at the mounds beside the avenue that more than one of them appeared to shift wakefully when Bobby came to sit beside me. “Don’t start getting nervous, Dom,” she murmured. “And don’t try and force anything when you’re in the sleep. You have to let go and then it’ll come to you.”
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