by Remy Landon
So the new Allied manager was an attractive woman. He would be seeing for himself in about a month at the trade show. In the past, he might have considered this woman as a candidate for the contest. Now, he was done with games and pursuing other women. He knew what he wanted. And he would get it.
chapter twelve ~ Cassandra
She hadn't really been in the mood to go out, but it was Thirsty Thursday, after all, and Teal had been insistent that they go to Bull Feeney's. Plus, one of Cassandra's goals was to make new friends, and Teal was having a few other girls meet them. Absolutely no guys, she had reassured Cassandra. You're not ready. So Cassandra would try to be positive about it, even though Bull Feeney's had been one of the places she had been with Carlo. The night they had ended up in the hayloft.
Nope. Not gonna go there. She stood in front of the bedroom mirror, studying her reflection. She'd straightened her hair tonight, partly because she wanted something different, and let's be honest, partly because it was the opposite hairstyle of what Carlo liked. It fell just past her shoulders, sleek and auburn against the oatmeal-colored, oversized sweater she was wearing. She turned sideways to check out her butt in her skinny jeans. It did look a bit less “out there.” It was funny how girls were always trying to lose weight in that area, while guys seemed to prefer some junk in the trunk.
Cassandra put on a cobalt blue infinity scarf to brighten up her outfit, slipped on her tall brown boots and picked up her phone from the nightstand. She expected to receive another text from Carlo later; he had been texting her every night, usually late, so it was the last thing she had on her mind before she went to sleep (or tried). She had no doubt this was his plan. His messages were brief, but reading them caused a small jolt inside her, no matter how much she tried to prepare herself when she heard the text notification. It occurred to her that she was still somewhat under his control. Fucking annoying.
She walked into the living room, her eyes drawn to the potted orchid on the floor in front of the picture window. Carlo had sent it to her last week, and she had promptly stuck it in the cupboard under the kitchen sink, beside the trash can. Then, guilt had overtaken her, because as stupid as it sounded, it was a living plant, and she could at least do something useful with it. So she decided she would bring it in to Allison, who most likely didn't get flowers too often.
The card on the blooming plant had said he'd searched to find the “perfect” flower to symbolize her, and the orchid apparently represented rare beauty and “proud, glorious femininity.” Whatever that meant. Under other circumstances, she'd be touched that someone would have done this for her. But this felt like more control. And she would cling to that, no matter how many times the thought that he might be sincere wormed its way into her brain.
By the time she got to the pub, she was feeling more upbeat about going out. It wasn't like the feeling you'd get when you were anticipating maybe meeting somebody hot; it was more like an overall good vibe, that it felt right to be doing this instead of moping alone in her apartment with a box of Swiss rolls.
Teal was waving at her from one of the trestle tables in the corner. Good—she was alone, so this would give them a little time to catch up before her other friends arrived.
“Hey, girlfriend! You look gorge! I like your eye shadow—makes your eyes look all smoky.” Teal gave her a quick hug.
“Thanks. You look great, too.” Teal had curled her blonde hair in loose ringlets and was wearing a magenta, off-the-shoulder top with jeans and heels. Cassandra grinned. “Can this be like on Facebook when girls say, 'oh, you're soo beautiful!' and then the other person goes, 'thanks hun, but I think you're perfect.' And it goes back and forth like that for about twenty comments.”
Teal snorted. “So true. But seriously, you look awesome. Trying something different with the straightened hair?”
“Yeah. One of several changes. How are classes going?”
“Fine. Studying for the LSAT has been kicking my ass, though. But I don't want to talk school. I want to hear what's new with you...we have a few minutes before my peeps get here. You'll really like 'em.”
“All girls, right?”
“Well...basically.”
“Excuse me?”
“One of them's a guy—” Teal put up her hand as Cassandra began to protest. “But he's gay. So it doesn't count.”
“Okay. Jesus, I was about to freak out.”
“You know I wouldn't do that to you.” Teal regarded her sternly, her blue eyes narrowing. “So. How are you holding up?”
“I'm all right, I guess.”
“This is me you're talking to, remember?”
She sighed. “It sucks. I try not to think about him, but of course, in trying not to, I am.”
“I get that. It probably doesn't help that he keeps contacting you. He's persistent, I'll give him that.”
“Yes.” Cassandra reached into her purse for her phone and swept her finger across the screen to find his texts. “Check these out.”
Teal took the phone, her eyebrows lifting as she read the messages aloud. “'Remember, I always get what I want...I've been thinking about you constantly, and I have no doubt you've been thinking about me as well...We had a strong connection right from the day we met, one that can't be ignored...I'm not ready or willing to let you go, Cassandra...Let me show you how sorry I am and how much you mean to me...' Jesus, girl, you're up against it, aren't you?
“He's right about the connection. But I have to keep fighting it...try to move on and cut him out of my life. For good.”
Teal's gaze was heavy upon her. “And you're going to do that how?”
“I'm going to keep ignoring his attempts. I haven't been responding to his texts, I don't answer when he calls, and I almost threw away this orchid he had delivered to me.”
“Almost?”
“I'm bringing it in to Tucker's and giving it to Al. No sense wasting a beautiful flower.”
“I see.”
Cassandra straightened her shoulders. “And I mailed back the jewelry he gave me. Taped the shit out of the box.”
Teal laughed. “Good for you.”
Their server appeared to take their drink orders. Teal ordered hand-cut fries for each of them and turned her attention back to Cassandra. “It sounds like you're determined.”
“Very. I'm also trying to move forward in other ways...like going out with you, for example. I need to hang out with people more. I've even been thinking of working on a degree, if I can swing it money-wise.”
“Seriously, Cass? That's awesome!”
“I'm trying to save more money, and supposedly, I'm getting a raise at Windswept. Don't laugh, but I'm thinking of going into equestrian studies.”
“Why would I laugh? It's your passion, so you should follow it. I can totes see you running your own stable someday.”
“Me too. That's my dream. And maybe have therapeutic riding for children. Wilson College in Chambersburg has this amazing equestrian center. They're about an hour away, so I was thinking I could just start out by taking one class, to see how I like it. Or I could always do an online program.” She paused. “And I'm also going to try and find my father.”
Teal's eyes were wide, apprehension crossing her face. “Wow. Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, after the shit he put you through, and your poor mom. Won't it just open up old wounds?”
“I'd like to think of it as healing old wounds. I feel like I have to confront him. Up until now, it's like I've been avoiding the pain in my life.” Lowering her voice, she whipped a napkin out of the holder, feeling dangerously close to tears. “I put on a good front, but inside, I feel so fucking weak and vulnerable. I want what I show people and what I actually feel to be the same thing.”
She had presented a false front to Carlo, acting like she was strong and independent not because she truly was, but because she wanted to keep from being hurt. He had seen through the facade—had seen the real, scared-shitless Cassandra in all her pathetic vulnerability and had
zeroed in for the kill. Okay, maybe not kill, she conceded, but every time she'd been with him, it had felt like a near-death experience.
“I am so goddamned impressed with you, nugget. It hasn't even been very long, but it sounds like you're really on your way. And you know I'm always here for you. You don't have to put on any front for me.”
“I know.” She smiled, quickly dabbing her eyes with the napkin and taking a deep breath. “I'm so lucky to have you. And now can we stop talking about this? I really want to get my drink on.”
Grinning, Teal reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “Let's do it, girlfriend.”
After a couple rounds of Killians, Cassandra's mood had improved immensely. She was relaxed, bubbly—giggly, at times. A good part of this was due to the alcohol, no doubt, but she felt tremendous relief that she could allow herself to let go and just be, not brood. Teal's friends immediately put her at ease: Whitney, a stout, brown-haired communications major and Teal's sorority sister; future lawyer Patrice, a striking brunette with rich, mahogany skin and a quiet elegance; and Kevin, a tall, gangly, bespectacled senior who worked in the campus bookstore and was most definitely gay. She'd been little uncomfortable that they would talk college classes, and while there was a bit of that, most of the conversation involved the Eagles' playoff chances, the best nightspots in the area and Game of Thrones. By the time the evening ended, Cassandra found herself telling them she'd love to get together again soon. They enthusiastically agreed.
Teal walked Cassandra to her car. “I'm so glad you came. And by came, I of course don't mean orgasm. Unless you had one at the table that I didn't know about.”
She rolled her eyes. “Um, no. Haven't been down that road for a while.”
“Maybe it's time you did. Just to keep everything in good working order. Good stress release, too.”
“Is sex all you think about?”
“Pretty much. I'm hoping to get some tonight after Garrett gets done his gig.” Teal yawned. “If I can stay awake. Tired sex is a lot of work. Anyway...stay in touch with me, and we'll go out again soon. Plus, think about going to Thanksgiving with me. I really could use you, you know, as a buffer between me and my mother. You don't have to eat the turkey, Ms. Vegetarian.”
“Pescetarian. I'll think about it. Thanks again for everything.”
She hugged Teal hard and got into her car, the early November wind ruffling her hair. The night was chilly, and she shivered as she started up the Malibu. Setting her phone on the passenger seat, she glanced down at the dark screen. She had turned off her phone so she wouldn't be interrupted by any contact from Carlo, but obviously, she'd find out sometime if he'd texted or called. Better to check now and then decompress, if necessary, on the ride home.
Sighing, she waited for the car to warm up a bit and turned on her phone. One missed call at 9:45 p.m., followed by one text.
I need to see you. And very soon, I will.
Tremors coursed through her body, this time from a chill deep inside. God damn him to hell for persisting.
And God damn her to hell for being even a little bit glad that he was.
chapter thirteen ~ Carlo
If things had been good with Cassandra, Carlo would have invited her along to lunch with him and his sister. She and Gianna could get to know one another, and he could sit back and watch them talk and laugh—be warmed by the bond they had, even after just meeting.
If only.
He still needed to tell Gianna that he and Cassandra were on hold for the time being. Of course, she would want to know more, might even press him on it, but she was usually good about respecting his privacy once she realized he needed her to.
Even though he hadn't heard a thing from Cassandra since she'd mailed him back the jewelry almost two weeks ago, he could not shake the feeling that they were still strongly bound to one another, somehow. His want for her had not dissipated over these past few weeks; if anything, it had grown even stronger. Lately, he'd been waking up with huge erections that he'd had to take care of before he could go back to sleep. He would imagine different ways he wanted to take her: propped up on her elbows in bed, her perfect ass in the air, her lush hair wrapped around his hand...holding her arms above her head as he lay on top of her, pumping...Cassandra bracing herself against the wall as he pounded into her, the force of his thrusts making her gasp...
Envisioning their first time continued to dominate his thoughts. He would see to it that they would have that first time, and many after that.
He'd been sitting in Pepino's, Gianna's favorite Mexican restaurant, for twenty minutes now, waiting for his sister to meet him. It was a cheery, casual place: decorated in lime green and brown, with huge plants in clay pots and brightly-painted ceramic frogs and lizards adorning the walls. He wondered if Cassandra had been here, as it was only a short trip from E-town.
A young woman with strawberry blonde hair caught his gaze as he scanned the restaurant. She was attractive, and his eyes lingered on her face, feeling a bit guilty that he was looking at her mainly because she reminded him of Cassandra. He grinned at her, amused by her flustered response, and looked away to check his phone for the time, feeling the flare of disappointment that he always did when there was no text from Cassandra. But he knew he couldn't expect this of her. He more than deserved her distance, her silence—no matter how much he wished things were different.
The door opened, and in blew Gianna, full of smiles and apologies and looking stylish, as usual, in a long skirt splashed with color, black jersey and oversized cardigan sweater. She came over to hug him, her long, dark hair grazing his face. He kissed her on one cheek, then the other, chiding her in mock disapproval. “It's not nice to keep your big brother waiting, cara signorina.”
“Sorry I'm late,” she said breathlessly. “Traffic from Villanova was awful.”
“I'm teasing. I don't have much going on today, anyway. It's good for me to be forced to sit and do nothing.” He smiled. “Even though we both know that's against my nature.”
“Uh, yes! Very true.” She slipped off her sweater and put it over the chair, her dark eyes shining. “It's so good to see you, Carlo. Have you been busy?”
“Somewhat. A few challenges at work, but nothing I can't handle.”
“And personally?”
“A few challenges there as well.”
“Hmm...I don't know if I like the sound of that.” Gianna frowned, looking at him skeptically.
The waiter, a stocky man with a neat ponytail and goatee, appeared with a strawberry margarita, a Negra Modelo and chips and salsa.
Gianna took her glass and sipped. “Perfect.”
“How's the semester going?”
“It's great, thanks. I love my classes. I swear, if I could, I'd just be a perpetual student.”
“That may very well happen, if you keep changing majors.”
“Carlo! I changed once.” She looked at him indignantly, arms folded across her chest.
Laughing, Carlo shook his head. “I can't take you seriously, cara, when you are trying to be mad at me.”
She made a face at him, tucking her glossy hair behind her ear and trying not to smile. “I never could stay mad at you, even when you used to pick on me when we were little.”
“Pick on you? I seem to recall protecting you.”
“I guess that's true.” She ran her finger around the edge of her margarita glass, licking the sugar off and winking at Carlo. “I know, terrible manners. Mama would definitely not approve.”
“No. You're lucky you are charming enough to get away with it.”
“Yes, I am.” She beamed at him. “So. What would you say to a wedding about six months from now?”
“Six months? Don't couples usually stay engaged for a couple of years nowadays?”
“Not when they're madly in love. Jordan wants to go to Europe for the summer—a combination extended honeymoon and photography venture—so an early May wedding would work for us. We want to get married at the house i
n Maine. With your permission, of course.”
“The house belongs to both of us, Gi. But there's the issue of getting everyone there. How big of a wedding are we talking?”
“A fairly small one, actually. I want it to be intimate. Jordan isn't into anything big and fancy, and I'm good with that.”
Carlo picked up his glass and motioned for his sister to do the same. “To your wedding, then. I'll take care of whatever you need.”
She touched her glass to his, her face flushed with pleasure. “Thank you, my fratello dolce.”
“You know I would do anything for you.”
“I do know that,” she said softly. “Now I want to hear about you—your personal challenges. Those are much more interesting than business ones.”
He sighed. He'd known this was inevitable, and if he was going to be honest with himself, part of him wanted to talk with someone he trusted implicitly. “All right. If you must know, Cassandra and I are on a...break.”
“Ughh, why? Didn't you follow my advice and just ask her out?”
“I wish it had been that easy, Gi.” He hesitated, running a hand through his hair. How to explain this...obviously, he couldn't tell his little sister much. “I don't want to go into detail, but I ended up—hurting her. I never meant to, but my past is still very much with me, and I let it take over, without considering how it might affect her.”
Gianna wrinkled her nose in confusion. “I don't know what you mean.”
“It's best that way, cara. I don't want to tell you any more. But my point is, she has a legitimate right to be very upset with me.”
“Then you need to show her you're sorry and make it up to her. Not only because you care about her, but because you need to do the right thing.” She leaned back in her chair, arms crossed in front of her and looking at him expectantly.
“I'm trying, Gi. She's been very resistant.”
“If there's one thing I know about you, fratello, is that you don't give up easily.”
“True.”