“You also nearly died on Sat―”
“Tav,” Luca interrupted urgently. He didn’t nearly die, and anyway, he hadn’t died, had he? So there was no point sitting around worrying even if he had nearly snuffed it. Come on, what was the point? “I am so bored I am voluntarily going to school. Do not argue with me. Let’s go.”
Tav groaned, but he grabbed his bag off the bottom step and slammed the door behind him. The good-morning kiss was sharp, but Luca just rolled his eyes and ignored the snit, hitching his bag higher on his shoulder and falling into step with Tav on the street.
“What’d I miss yesterday?”
“Half the year convinced you were dead, and the other half convinced you were faking. And me being pissed off Mam made me go to school and not stay home with you.”
“Aww, princess.”
“Shut up.”
“So, I’m faking or dead?”
“Uh-huh. Samantha Marks said she’d bring over your English homework, I had to go and ask Miss Riley in person for it. She’s a witch.”
“Miss Riley?”
“Samantha.”
“No, she’s not,” Luca said, and grinned. Tav hated Samantha, mostly because Luca didn’t, and it was funny to watch him boil when Samantha flirted. “I’ll have to thank her today.”
“You encourage her,” Tav accused. Luca sniggered, and briefly reached out to squeeze his elbow. “Don’t try and placate me, you do encourage her!”
“I don’t,” Luca wheedled—even though he did—then shoved Tav in the shoulder and laughed. “You’re right jealous.”
“Shut up,” Tav grumbled as they turned onto Ecclesall Road and started heading up the hill. It was late, throngs of school uniforms washing over the pavements, and the rush hour at its gridlocked might.
“Hey! Tavistock! Jensen! Wait up!”
Luca twisted and grinned, and David’s crutch-assisted limp up the hill after them faltered briefly.
“Fucking hell, your face!”
“Wicked, en’t it?” Luca beamed, ignoring Tav’s huff and scowl beside him. It was wicked, Tav needed to chill out. He looked like a battered wife or something.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, mate,” David grimaced. “I never saw you—shoulda looked, I know, but…”
“It’s cool,” Luca said. “Didn’t die. Still got most of my brains. And war wounds, man! I had to have eight stitches. When I get old and bald, I’m gonna look well ‘ard.”
“You wish,” David chortled, falling into step with them. As much as one could with crutches, anyway. “I broke my ankle, if that helps.”
“Kind of,” Luca agreed. “Nice to know my head fought back.”
“Did it fucking ever,” David agreed. “Coach ripped me a new one.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna,” Luca shrugged. “Shit happens, don’t it? They rebooted me okay.”
“Surprised you’re back yet.”
“His mother doesn’t want him to be,” Tav said snidely, and Luca pinched a coat-covered elbow. “Hey!”
“You leave Mamma out of this,” Luca said snottily, and rolled his eyes. “I was going mad with boredom,” he added to David. “Anyway, s’not like school’s gonna wear me out. I’m off swimming for the week anyway, Mamma threatened to lock me in the house if I even thought about it.”
“And football.”
“What are you, my nonna?” Luca demanded, and Tav snorted, throwing a heavy arm around his neck and tugging him in briefly to kiss the top of his head. Luca shook him off, but smiled all the same. Attention was attention, and Tav’s attention in public always came with an exasperated expression. It was fun to provoke him sometimes. And especially after waking up the other night being unexpectedly hugged to death. This was as much about controlling Tav’s freak-out and getting him back to normal as it was about being bored.
“If I was your nonna, I’d have a cat in hell’s chance of controlling you,” Tav groused. Luca smirked, and even David snorted as they passed through the school gate.
“Fat chance, mate,” he said. “I think you’re fucking mental. Why go for Jensen when a nice girl would do?”
“Oi!” Luca objected.
“Sex,” Tav said, quick as a chip off an unattended plate, and David started laughing.
“If we lived together and had a sofa,” Luca said loftily, turning his nose up, “then you’d be sleeping on it.”
“Yeah, yeah. Queen,” Tav said, and squeezed Luca’s elbow at the corridor between the English block and the language block. Luca shook it off and kept his nose turned up. “See? Fucking drama queen. See you both later.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
With those tender words, they parted ways. Luca wasn’t in the same tutor group as Tav—never had been. In fact, even in GCSEs they had no classes together. Tav had been just the tall boy over the road with the brown-blond-ginger-whatever hair and amazing amber eyes for the longest time. Even their friends didn’t cross over very much, what with Tav being allergic to people and all. So when they were together, they were typically alone—and when they weren’t, Tav retreated to Daniel and Jan in his tutor group, and left Luca to this…mess.
Half the swimming club were in Luca’s tutor group, so when Tav abandoned him, it was to a crowd of teasing, jeering lads who were mostly interested in the war wounds and if they’d electrocuted his heart in the ambulance. Nevertheless, they also pulled out his chair for him—before asking if he was disappointed not to be paralysed.
“Twat off,” Luca said, cuffing Sam Davis around the ear. “I won’t be doing butterfly next week, but I can still beat you in the water any day.”
“Keep your hands off me in the water, gayboy,” Sam snorted, cuffing him right back.
“Like you can talk, when’s the last time you got a girl?” Aaron jeered, before ducking the slap his own girlfriend aimed in his direction.
“Never, if that’s how they fucking work!”
“You’re so fucking gay for gays, Sam.”
“Oi, Luca, snog him and see!”
The bell rang, and Mrs. Jones rapped on her desk sharply.
“Knock it off, all of you. This is a school, not a stadium. Luca, feel free to take extra days off if you’re going to cause uproar when you do come back. Maria, put that magazine away. And Emily Fairbairn, if I see you aim one more of those lethal slaps at one of the boys…”
“Aaron doesn’t count, miss, he’s a twassock!”
“Mouth shut, Samuel! Thank you.”
Luca settled back in his seat, and kicked the back of Sam’s chair in a get-the-last-word revolt. Yeah. Chaos, name-calling, and Mrs. Jones’ heavy accent tinged with exasperation. This was way better than being stuck at home in bed.
* * * *
Tav did athletics. Not all the stupid jumping stuff, the running. He was a cross-country runner—he’d even been strong-armed into running for the county last year—and most Tuesdays after school he’d go out onto the field with the athletics team and join in. He was good, but he didn’t really want to do anything with it beyond keeping fit. It was just something to do, yeah? Especially when Luca was usually busy immediately after school anyway, and Tav next-to-never saw him during the school day. No use sitting around pining or something twattish like that, was there? Might as well run.
Only there was something he had to do today, which meant getting changed fast as possible and ducking out of the PE block before club was quite due to start. He wasn’t officially in the athletics team, but Coach Evans let him join in. She’d been pushing him to join proper since he was twelve.
“Maybe today’s the day you sign up for good and get serious about running, eh, Christopher?”
She said it every week; every week, Tav shrugged, elbowed a sniggering Daniel in the ribs, and ignored her. Today, however, he didn’t. He just nodded and made a beeline for the figure at the lockers in the corridor to the tech block, the wiry silhouette with the shaved-down fair hair. Now was the only time to catch him, really, and Tav had to say something
for what he’d done.
“Hey! Jack!”
Jack Collins started. Tav had never spoken to him before, so it was fair enough. He’d arrived in the middle of September without a word of explanation, and as he wasn’t in any of Tav’s classes or clubs, Tav had never bothered finding out why. He was just the new kid.
The new kid who’d saved Luca’s life.
He reminded Tav of Luca’s eldest brother Antonio—that closed, hard expression that was somewhere between impassive and angry. Good-looking in a front-of-magazine, stern-faced model kind of way. The kind of guy people fancied but never tried to actually chat up. He had a tight jaw and thin mouth, and wide blue eyes that were more expressive than the rest of his face combined. In a weird way, because Tav couldn’t actually interpret the look Jack gave him.
“What?”
“Thanks,” Tav said, and stuck out a hand. Jack stared at it.
“For what?”
“Getting Luca out of the pool on Saturday,” Tav said. When Jack didn’t move, he dropped his hand. “Just…thanks. He could’ve drowned if not for you. So—seriously, thank you.”
“S’fine.”
“It was fucking heroic.”
Jack reddened. “Didn’t do it to be a hero,” he mumbled, then squinted. “You were there, weren’t you?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You ain’t…”
“I was watching,” Tav said when Jack trailed off and frowned. “I went in the ambulance with Luca after. I saw what you did, mate, and―”
“Oh. You came poolside.”
“Yeah.”
“You were…”
Tav frowned. So did Jack.
“Are you his…” Jack trailed off again, and waved a hand. “You know,” he prompted when Tav blinked.
“Er,” Tav said, then the pieces slotted into place. Jack had only been here a couple of months, and he wasn’t in either of their tutor groups, or the other sports clubs. He wouldn’t have necessarily noticed. And it was generally old news to everyone else—nobody was interested in bullying a couple of queers, one of whom had like a million fights against his permanent record, and the other with an older brother that would scare Marines. There were jokes, but mostly from mates. It hadn’t occurred to Tav that someone in their year might not know. “My boyfriend?”
“Ye-eah,” Jack said very slowly.
“Yeah,” Tav said, shrugging. Wasn’t exactly a secret. “Yeah, Luca’s my boyfriend.”
Jack’s face twitched. A muscle between the edge of his mouth and his eye seized, and the blank, cold expression shifted for a split second. Then the moment was gone again, before Tav could identify the look.
“Don’t mention it again.”
“I have to,” Tav insisted. “What you did for him―”
“I said don’t fucking talk to me about it again! I did nothing! You get that? I did fucking nothing!”
Tav flinched back as Jack slammed the locker door. The fuck? The twitch was back, and it froze in place, a dark sneer twisting Jack’s stern features. His teeth were jagged and sharp in the gap between his lips. That coldly beautiful face was suddenly hideous.
“Don’t talk to me again,” Jack repeated coldly. “You or your—Luca.”
He turned on his heel and stalked away, leaving Tav alone in the corridor with a headful of ‘what the actual fuck?’
* * * *
“Hey, Luca!”
The athletics club had barely started when his name was called—but from the wrong direction, and in the wrong voice. Luca looked up from his English assigned reading, squinting against the bitter wind, and grinned at Aaron Kowalski’s approaching form.
“Alright, Az? Didn’t think your Emily was out here today.”
“She’s not,” Aaron said, jogging up the stands to sink into the seat next to Luca’s. He looked as cold as Luca felt, red-faced against the wind, but the stands were peaceful and a great vantage point for some perving on the sports teams. “It’s you I need to talk to.”
“Yeah?”
“I need a favour,” Aaron said, brushing his fair hair out of his eyes. “For my drama group, like.”
“Need a rehearsal buddy again?” Aaron was in a local amateur dramatics club thing, and got weird stage-fright on read-throughs. Luca blamed the pretty girl who always got the lead female roles.
“Sort of,” Aaron said. “Actually it’s a part in the play.”
“Not an actor, mate.”
“No, it’s a really small bit part,” Aaron said. “Literally like five lines or something. But none of the other lads at the group are up for it, and, uh…”
“Five lines?” Luca echoed doubtfully. “I don’t really have time for plays and shit, Az.”
“It really wouldn’t be that much commitment. It’s just, uh…”
“Uh?”
“Well. Your boyfriend might not like it.”
Chapter 5: “Kiss me.”
Luca hadn’t always been so lucky when it came to this whole gay thing. His mother was Italian and his father was from an enormous Yorkshire family that generally thought being gay was up there in the wrong stakes with being a paedophile. Luca had had a crush on Tav from the moment he first saw him, but they’d only been seven or eight then, and Luca hadn’t initially recognised it for what it was. When he had, it had been—in his then-thirteen-year-old mind—the worst thing that had ever happened to him.
Aaron Kowalski had helped.
Not that Aaron knew that. He hadn’t done anything. Luca certainly hadn’t told him. But Aaron Kowalski was as straight as they came—just like it had been Tav-and-Luca for years now, it had been Aaron-and-Emily for even longer. Aaron liked girls. It was a fact, just like he was blond and his dad was Polish. Aaron was straight—and yet Aaron fussed over his hair every day more than Emily fussed over hers, and wanted to be an actor. He spent more time at his amateur dramatics club than he did at school.
And Aaron being…well, being a bit gay without being gay, that had helped. It had helped Luca realise he wasn’t going to magically change now he knew he liked guys, and it had helped him tell himself—when the fear got too much—that maybe there was a hope his family would realise it, too. That if Aaron could be gay and like girls, Luca could be straight and like boys.
It all sounded stupid now—he’d been thirteen, give him a break—but some small part of Luca still felt grateful to Aaron for the help he’d unknowingly given. So Luca just shrugged when Aaron said, “Your boyfriend might not like it.”
“He doesn’t like rugby either, not my problem.”
Aaron laughed. His blue eyes crinkled at the edges, and Luca reflected idly that it was probably a good thing he’d never had a crush on Aaron. That would’ve been hell to get over, ever since Aaron had turned seventeen and gone all good-looking. “Nah, man,” Aaron said. “I mean, he really might not like this.”
Luca shrugged. “He’s my boyfriend, not my mother. What’s the part?”
Aaron hunched his shoulders and squinted out at the field. “They’re gonna be ages. Come to the community centre with me. I’ll show you the script and dates and stuff.”
“‘Kay.” His knees had stiffened and his feet were unnaturally cold, so when he stood up, he lurched awkwardly. Aaron laughed and caught his arm.
“Careful! Tosser. You’ve already cracked your head open once, your Tav’ll have a seizure if you do it again.”
“He’d finish me off,” Luca agreed, shaking Aaron off and stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Fucking hell, I’m numb. Is the community centre warm?”
“Warm-ish.”
“Good. Lead on.”
“Surprised Tav’s gone running, to be honest,” Aaron said as they loped off the field. Luca raised a hand to wave to said boyfriend on the track, and made a questioning noise. “Well, he was a right grumpy shit on Monday. Wouldn’t have thought you’d’ve been able to prise him off your arm.”
“He threw a fit this morning,” Luca agreed. “He’ll relax.” Tav was tetchy, bu
t he calmed down quickly enough. Usually.
“Yeah, well, it was pretty freaky.”
“Mm.”
“You’ve talked to David, right?”
Luca raised his eyebrows. “Ye-eah.”
“And you know, you’ve been okay with him?”
“The fuck, Aaron? You turned into a counsellor?”
“Just saying, he was pretty upset.”
“He was fine this morning,” Luca said, shrugging. “It was an accident, why wouldn’t I be okay with him?”
“Well you were a bit…dead-ish,” Aaron said in an inappropriately diplomatic tone. “We were all freaking out. Coach had to call everyone’s parents Saturday afternoon to say you weren’t actually dead.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not,” Luca said awkwardly. He couldn’t remember any of it, and…and okay, it sounded awful and stuff, but he was fine. He just wanted everyone to chill the fuck out already. “I’m not pissed off or anything. It was just a stupid accident.”
Aaron nodded as they passed through the school gates. An icy wind was ripping through the streets, and Luca turned the collar of his jacket up. “So is that split gonna scar?”
“Probably,” Luca said. “I might shave my head when it does, it’ll look awesome.”
“Your mam won’t let you.”
“Can’t unshave a head,” Luca grinned, and Aaron chortled. “Nah, Tav’d do his nut. Likes my hair.”
“Don’t wanna know,” Aaron interrupted hastily, and Luca smirked.
“Likes to run his hands through it while we―”
“Shut up!”
“―watch a film. What? What’d you think I was gonna say?”
“Urgh, why am I asking you to do this?”
“I don’t even know what you’re asking me to do.”
“Kiss me.”
Luca stopped. Aaron kept going for a couple of paces, then twisted on his heel and grimaced.
“Er.”
“Kiss you?”
“Yeah.”
“No offence,” Luca said slowly, “but you’re not my type.”
“Yeah, but…”
“And trust me, I’d know if you were my type.”
Aaron huffed a short laugh and shook his head. “It’s in the play,” he said. “I have to kiss another boy. It’s just the one kiss, but none of the other lads were up for it, and I figured…you know. You’re a mate. And you obviously don’t mind the whole…hooking up with blokes thing.”
The Italian Word for Kisses Page 4