“Yes, now when I dream I feel like I am awake and aware. I can go anywhere I want and do whatever I want. Not like last night. I felt so powerless.”
“Very interesting. I never got around to practicing lucid dreaming or astral travel.”
“Well, it takes a lot of discipline. I didn’t learn it all in one night. In fact, it took about three years.”
“Boy, I don’t know if I’ve got that much discipline in me. It sure would be cool to be able to do that, though.”
“I can help you if you’d like, sweetie. It’s not terribly complicated. I could put you under hypnosis and have you flying all over the place.”
“Hmm. Maybe some time.” He scooped eggs and toast on to two plates and set them on the table with two glasses of orange juice.
“You want your coffee now or later?” he asked.
“Later is fine. I see you imbibed already,” she said, spying his coffee cup on the stove.
“Yup. I need my coffee first thing in the morning.”
They ate their breakfast and discussed any last minute things that needed doing before they left. Everything seemed to be covered. All there was to do was pack and de-fridge the fridge. Shauna decided to pack first and do the dirty work later.
Hawk got up when he was finished and poured her a cup of coffee with plenty of cream and sugar the way she liked it. God they were getting so close so fast, he marveled. He hadn’t been in a relationship in over five years. The last had ended badly. He was the one who ended it. Jill had turned shrewish towards the end of their three year relationship. Hawk felt so bad about himself and knew she was a big part of the why of it. She harped on him about every little thing. He was never good enough or loving enough or demonstrative enough. The experience had soured him on women in general. It took him ages to get his manhood back-- and his self-esteem.
Then there was Shauna. Shauna had no meanness in her at all. She was loving and caring, and he had to throw everything he knew about relationships out the door. He also had to throw out the thought that it was a bad idea to work with someone who was also your lover. Hawk knew he loved her before they ever made love. It was last spring when he was interviewing people for his team. Shauna had the mind of a scientist and the heart of a spiritualist, a perfect combination. In fact, after his interview with her he sent the rest of the applicants away. Both his head and his heart told him she was the one for the position. It took only a little while longer to realize she was good in other positions as well. She moved him. That was the only way to describe how he felt about her. She put him in gear. He felt revved with life around her. He had even made the first move on her, inviting her over for dinner one night under the gauzy premise of discussing their work. But they had, in the end, come together easily. Making love that first night was the most natural thing in the world.
“What are you so thoughtful about?” asked Shauna after a while. “You had a faraway look like you were on the other side of the moon.”
“I think I was. I was thinking of how we got together. That was a good day. If I have ever created anything, it was that.”
“Maybe we did create that day,” she said. “But right now we better get packing, buddy. No more wool gathering. Well, maybe just a little.” She smiled coyly.
– – –
The next day was cool and breezy. The clouds were swirls of white above them. The crew had all met at the Creamery building at eight. They wanted to get to Santa Rosa by lunch time. Hutch and Susan were there to see them off. It was an exciting beginning of a new journey in their quest for what seemed like the answers to the universe, but there was a quietness about them all, too. Within a half hour they were on their way south on 101. Because of the curvy roads that at times went down to two lanes it would take them four hours to travel only a hundred and sixty or so miles. This was the Redwood Highway that twisted and turned its way out from behind the Redwood Curtain. Santa Rosa was the first big city to the South before San Francisco, and it was their first stopover for a planned meeting. Shauna was driving the van out of town and asked if anyone needed to stop off for anything before they got on the highway. Nobody did. There were relatively few little towns between Six Rivers and Santa Rosa, but there were a couple of gas station slash mini-marts along the way.
Hawk road shotgun, Rob and Fern were in the next seat back, and Peter and Noah had the back. Peter was listening to music on his mp3 player. The van was quite comfortable for everybody, having controls for air in the back, and even a small T.V. and DVD player. Shauna supposed that was mostly for kids on long trips when they had nothing to do but look out the windows. But wasn’t that part of traveling- watching the different scenery go by? Shauna thought about having kids someday if she got the chance with the way things were going, that is. She thought of all the pregnant women now whose children might not grow to adulthood. Thinking about it made her feel queasy, so she thought she ought to keep her mind occupied with other things for the time being. This could all just be another end of the world scenario so many had thought up over the years. She’d lived long enough to see many doomsayers get people all riled up like how life as we knew it would end when the year turned to 2000. That was a good one, she thought. Many had taken that very seriously. They believed that the computers wouldn’t be able to handle making the shift and would all crash. She thought perhaps things like that were more like wake up calls.
Was that what the year 2012 business was about, too? Possibly. Were they wasting their time searching for answers? Hopefully. All she knew was that she was committed to digging as far deep down this mineshaft as was humanly possible so she could be at least fairly sure. In the end what possible good could they do anyway. Hawk had hinted at something, but hadn’t revealed it to her yet. She hoped whatever it was could really do something to prevent these coming events. Talk about weapons of mass destruction! Nothing a human could do besides nuclear annihilation could cause what was possibly coming soon to the entire planet.
The trip was peaceful, and Shauna didn’t make anyone carsick with all the turning and hard cornering. She was proud of her driving skills. She’d driven these kinds of roads many times up and down and all around the Bay Area. Hawk broke her out of her road trance.
“I need to use the facilities, Shauna. How about we stop in Hopland?”
“No problem. It’s coming up shortly. Anybody else need a break?”
There were mumblings of “yeahs” and “sures.”
Ten minutes later they were out of the van near a minimart, stretching and getting their land legs back. Shauna wandered over to the store and thought about getting some coffee, but she’d already had two cups before they even left, so she chose a bottle of sweetened green tea. Then she drifted over to the snack section and picked out some nuts. She could only eat lightly when traveling. Although she was a smooth and careful driver, her mother had not been. She remembered many a trip to Half Moon Bay when she’d had to beg her mother to stop by the side of the road and let her out to lose her lunch. Just thinking about those times made her stomach feel queer. After leaving the store she joined Fern on her walk around the little building.
“How’s your stomach?” she asked her.
“Totally fine,” said Fern. “I just hate being cooped up inside anywhere for very long. Did I tell you I spent one whole summer up in one of the giant redwoods near Stafford?” she asked.
“You did?”
“Yeah. Me and these two guys were trying to keep these beautiful trees from getting clear-cut. People came and brought us food and stuff. It was crazy. But I loved every minute I was up in old Betsy.”
“Betsy?”
“That’s what her name was. She was a very old very cool tree. I miss that sometimes. In the end they chopped her to pieces anyway. She was hundreds of years old, ya know.”
“That’s too bad. I had heard how bad it was up here with all the cutting down of these ancient Redwoods just so some yuppie couple can have a Redwood deck. I know the wood is quite durable
and resistant to bugs and fire.”
“But not resistant to the stupid chainsaws unfortunately,” Fern said quietly. “Ya know, a part of me wouldn’t mind if humans were forced off the face of the Earth. We’re like a blight on the planet; like a virus.”
“I think we can all relate to that, Fern.”
“Did you know the dinosaurs lived on the Earth thousands of times longer than humans have?”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s true. And the Earth, she just keeps on going. I think if the Earth was devastated that somehow it would survive. Maybe even some humans. Do you think they would be better people after having gone through something so catastrophic, Shauna?”
“You know, I think I do. I’ve never been a cynic. I think if we learned from our mistakes maybe we wouldn’t even form societies like we have today. Civilization killed an integral part of our nature. We stopped knowing we’re just animals underneath it all.”
Rob called to them, “Are you guys ready to hit it?”
“We’re coming,” said Shauna.
“How do you think Noah will do tonight?” asked Fern, as they strolled over to the van.
“I think he’ll do fine. We’ll be doing things a little bit different, but that shouldn’t stop Jackson. You know how good he is at going with the flow.”
“I wonder how many people will show up.”
“There’s no telling really.” Fern hopped in the side of the minivan and Hawk pulled the door shut behind her and got in.
They made it to Santa Rosa by 12:30 and decided to have some lunch before they hit the hotel.
Chapter Eleven
They had rented a meeting room at the hotel they were staying at. The sun had tried to peek through the clouds all the way to Santa Rosa, but was now shining full on. It was also a bit warmer here as they were more inland. The ocean was far from this place. Their rooms had the toxic smell of newly laid carpeting. Three adjoining rooms were on the bottom floor near the meeting room. The two women would share one, Hawk and Rob would share another, and Noah and Peter would share the third.
Shauna asked Hawk if he wanted to take a walk. After driving she wanted to stretch her legs, get some exercise, and have some time alone with him. All three were taken care of as he accepted her proposal. This was a big city to them. Shauna could feel how accustomed she had become to small town life in so short a time. She realized then that she actually preferred it. Cities that had more than a few fast food chains and mega-department stores seemed seedy and had the smell of too much progress in the wrong direction. Maybe not the wrong direction, but a direction that changed the human animal into something awkward and mutant-like.
For instance, murder was extremely rare in small towns like Six Rivers, while it was a common occurrence the bigger the city was. Shauna realized she had become jaded from living in San Francisco so long, but was slowly, happily losing that jadedness in Six Rivers. Or was she losing something that you needed to survive in such a world, big city or not? Would she be caught off guard and not be in the right state of mind to react quickly if in a situation which required that from her? Was it like a muscle that lost strength and agility without constant use? These thoughts tumbled around in her mind as she and Hawk walked along silently.
Hawk spoke first, “Are you excited about tonight?”
“I suppose so. It certainly will be different than the regular type channeling Noah does. This is for our purposes, not the families and friends wanting to communicate with their loved ones who have passed over.”
“Yeah. We tried to make that clear in the ads, so hopefully we won’t get too sidetracked into what Aunt Sally wants to tell Uncle Ned.”
“Do you think it will be a problem staying focused?”
“I do, actually. I’m not sure how helpful Jackson will be. Noah has made him aware that we need certain information from the relatives. I think it’s only fair that we let them have some say when they’re talking to each other through Jackson, but we will inevitably have to break in and ask the questions we need the answers to.”
Shauna put her arm around Hawk’s back, and he did likewise.
“I have a feeling it could get way out of hand,” she said. “In fact my intuition is telling me it will. We’re going to have to be very perseverant tonight, Hawk. You know how emotionally charged these sessions get. If we don’t let these people have their time with the ones who have passed on we could have an angry mob on our hands.”
“You have a point. Maybe we should do the ‘interviews’ one at a time in one of the rooms then.”
“I’m not feeling we have to do that if we’re vigilant. Besides, where would all the others wait until it was their turn. Plus, they might get irritated having to wait long periods of time to get to see Noah.”
“Another point taken. You’re a smart gal, ya know that?” He stopped and kissed her. They wouldn’t get many chances to be alone on the trip, and sex was definitely out of the question, so kisses like these were treasures. It made Shauna want Hawk all the more. As he kissed her her body remembered the night before all at once and she felt tingles down to her toes. They walked on for a little longer then crossed the street, turning back the way they’d come. Soon it would be “show time.”
– – –
“Where did those two go off to, does anyone know?” asked Rob of the group. They had all come together in Noah and Peter’s room after unloading their gear from the minivan.
“I saw them walking down that way,” said Peter, pointing out the door to the left.
“Is it just me or are those two gettin’ it on?” asked Rob. Laughter filled the air in the room.
“I think they probably are,” said Fern. “But that’s their business, right?”
“I suppose so,” said Rob. “So, Noah, are you up for tonight?”
“Of course, as always,” he replied. “It will be different than what Jackson is used to, though. I hope the people on both sides will be okay with what we’re trying to do.”
“Well, this will be our trial run. It’s kinda good it’s not in a really huge city like San Francisco, which is our next stop. Think of this as a dress rehearsal.”
“Don’t mention San Francisco,” said Peter. “That’s where I have to go on. I’m kind of nervous about it.”
Fern sat down on the bed next to him and put a reassuring hand on his arm. “You have nothing to worry about. You are gonna do great. I know it.”
“But I’m not even a clear channel like Noah. I’ll be the one talking, not my guide.”
“Your guide is going to tell you everything you need to say, Peter,” she said.
“I know, but sometimes I get so mixed up about what she’s trying to show me. I don’t want to look like a fool.”
“Look,” said Noah, “you have an amazing gift and even if some idiot in the crowd says anything stupid, Fern and Rob will be right there with you. Just be yourself like I taught you. It will also be a smaller room than the one I’ll be in, so try to relax. Maybe do some meditation. That helped me immensely when I first started channeling for groups. It’s still two plus days away, buddy.”
“Okay,” said Peter, “if everyone would let me have my room back I think I will do some meditating and talk to my guide.” Everyone got up and left the room for Rob and Hawk’s room next door, leaving Peter in peace.
– – –
After dinner at the diner next to the hotel the group went to the meeting room to set up. There were 50 chairs set up already. None of them had any idea they would need almost twice that many. Peter set up the recording equipment. The microphone and speakers were also set up in advance. Fern would be taking notes as well in case the tape wasn’t clear in spots. You couldn’t tell what the quality would be like from place to place. Best to have backup notes.
At 6:30 the people began to trickle in. By 6:45 almost all the seats were filled. When it was almost time to begin the trickle didn’t stop. People just kept on coming. Some stood in the back, some in the
side aisles. When some tried to sit down in front of the first row they were told they would have to stand elsewhere. There was also a center aisle where nobody was allowed to stand or sit, but towards the back it was getting so crowded that the bodies just kind of smooshed downwards into it.
Noah waited until five after the hour to start. By then the air was thickening with body heat and breath. Of course for Noah, who had been doing group channeling for many years, this was no big deal. But when Shauna looked over their team, she saw sweat beading on Peter’s forehead and start to trail down the grooves of his young face. She felt bad for him, but knew when the time came he would be a natural. She had sat in on a few of Noah’s teach-ins with Peter. She felt his real problem lay with not learning good coping skills as he faced his adolescence with drugs and alcohol, instead of bravery and willpower. He had only learned to kill the pain and fire of that time, not walking through it to the other side and becoming a man.
Chapter Twelve
Noah walked to the center of the stage, wireless microphone attached to his collar.
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I will be your channeler for the evening (laughter). If you think I’m funny, wait till you meet my spirit guide, Jackson. Let me first explain what I do, or rather what is done through me.” Noah told them what a channeler was, the different kinds there were, a little about his own background, and shared a few witty stories with the crowd.
Noah had known his guide since he was around six years old. He remembered clearly the day Jackson came into his life. His parents were alcoholics and he was an only child. He had to find ways to occupy himself in the late afternoons and evenings, and sometimes even the mornings during hangover time. One afternoon he was playing outside when he saw a beautiful butterfly amongst the flowers in the backyard. He chased it all over the yard before it lighted on one particular flower. It began to glow. Fascinated, Noah tried to touch it with his little fingers. It started making a humming noise and glowed brighter and brighter, the brightness growing in front of him. All of a sudden he found himself in a beautiful garden with a small trickling creek going through the middle of it. He found he couldn’t walk, but he wanted to go to the stream. The moment he thought of it he began to drift towards it without touching the ground. A voice said from behind him, “Be careful Noah.” Noah wanted to see who had spoken and his body floated around to look. That was when he met Jackson, a big, muscular black man dressed in a blue robe. Noah wasn’t the least bit afraid. He felt such love and comfort from this man. Jackson told him he was here to always watch over Noah and help him get through some very rough times that lay ahead for him, but he knew Noah was a strong boy full of love and sensitivity. Jackson then took Noah’s little hand in his giant hand and walked with him through the garden.
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