by S. J. Maylee
“I'm looking forward to it.” She squeezed his hands. “Take care of her, Marcus. She's going to need you.”
“I'll be there for her.”
“Okay you two. Let's go, Marcus. We've got work tomorrow.” Her time with her mom was over again. Each workweek seemed to drag longer and longer, probably because she always worried there wouldn't be another visit.
She wondered how all the changes would weather her. Even as Marcus sat next to her holding her hand on the ride back to the city, she felt more alone than before. She blamed him. He came in with his big presence and awakened so much she'd tried to bury. But there was nothing to be done now. Their hand had been dealt. They were headed back to the city and she had no idea what to expect.
Chapter Eight
All the way back to Chicago, he kept Gina in his peripheral vision. It was like he could see her slip back beneath her veneer.
“You didn't have to tell my mom you'd be back to see her.”
“It wasn't a lie. I'm coming back with you next weekend.” He squeezed her hand. “You might not believe it, but I care about your mom.”
“Well, that I can understand.”
“I care about you too, Gina.” He drew her closer. “I intend to keep my eye on Dale while I'm up there.” The city was getting closer. He was anxious to stretch his legs or maybe it was the thought of leaving her side that waged the war inside him. He'd never had such a problem leaving her before.
“Do you want to get a bite to eat?” He tugged on her hand, which he'd held the whole trip.
“Did you have something in mind?”
“There's a pizza shop not too far from my place. I know they're still open. Interested?”
“Sure.” She shrugged and looked out the window.
Marcus called ahead and a large stuffed crust pizza came out of the oven minutes after their arrival. From their little table at the front of the restaurant, they dug into the pizza.
“This is delicious.” She took a pepperoni from the middle of her piece and popped it into her mouth. “How long has this place been here?”
“They've been open for about five years.”
“I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about my mom.”
“I can understand you wanting some privacy about your mom's illness.”
“Cancer. You can say it. My mom has cancer.” She cleared her throat.
“I'm sorry.” He grabbed her hand when she reached for another piece.
“Thanks.”
“You need to tell Rob.” So much of what he’d learned that weekend Rob needed to know.
“You're right.”
“I know.” He let her go. “You need to tell him about Dale, too.”
“I'm not going to do that.”
“Why not?” He sat back in his chair. “I don't understand you.”
“Well, you don't have to.” She sipped from her beer and set it down, rubbing at the label that was coming loose. “Rob could have something good with Jane, if she hasn't messed everything up.”
“You mean if you haven’t scared her away.”
“Hey, I didn’t tell Jane anything that wasn’t true.” She held up her hands.
“Rob deserves the truth. I don't think you understand the ramifications of your lies.”
“Rob deserves to be happy and my admission will just get in his way. Besides, it really doesn't matter. Who knows how many more days my mom has left?” She scratched at a tomato stain on the tablecloth. “You know I hate it when you call me a bitch. But you're right. That's exactly what I am.”
“For some reason, I only like it when I'm the one calling you names.”
“Hold that thought.” She rubbed her forehead. “I'll give you a reason to walk away from me. Since it seems you're having a hard time.”
“I'm not going to defend how I feel for you.”
“You're free to change your mind.” She slid her empty plate away and turned slightly, crossing her long legs. “The day my mom came home with her diagnosis, she sat me down and I panicked. I thought for sure she'd found out about what Dale had done, or worse the lie covering it up. I thought she was going to kick me out of her life.”
“Shit, Gina.” He reached for her, but she pulled away.
“When she told me about the cancer, I was relieved. I was fucking relieved it was cancer and not my own lies.” She blew out a breath, as a single tear slid down her cheek. “Aren't I a piece of work?” She licked her lips and slowly blew out the breath she must have been holding.
Marcus stood. His chair crashed to the ground and, in the next second, he scooped her up. “Only I get to call you a bitch. Okay.” He dried her cheek. “Honey, it was an honest reaction to a stressful situation. You weren’t prepared for her diagnosis.” He turned and settled her on his lap. “It's fucked up. No one should have to deal with losing their parents so young. You've taken way too much on.”
“You weren't there when my dad died.” She sniffed and hid her face on his shoulder. “I honestly didn't think she was going to get out of that deep depression.”
“Your mother's happiness is not your sole responsibility.” He took hold of her chin, until she looked at him. “You need to go after your own happiness too.” He brushed the tears away. “Let me stay with you tonight. I don't want you to be alone.”
“I'll be fine.” She picked up her napkin and rubbed under her eyes.
“I know, but you don't have to be on your own anymore. Let me take care of you.”
****
The next couple of nights Marcus stayed at Gina's, holding her all night long, in the hopes of reminding her she wasn't alone. He recognized the fatigue etched in the hunch of her shoulders when he walked through her door.
During the day they went their separate ways, but thankfully she kept letting him in at night. He had no idea how she sounded so strong in her evening talks with her mom. After her daily assessment of how her mom was doing, the pair would talk and talk, giggles occasionally filled the room and his heart, but it was the whispered parts of the conversation that always concerned him.
Today, they were holding a launch party for Janna's project. He knew Keller wasn't planning to thank Gina for her part in getting the funding back, per her request. No one around him had any clue how caring she could be. All they saw was the exterior, what she chose to let them see. He'd been debating how to get around her damaging ways. Each time he considered an option, he’d stopped, knowing Gina would see it as a betrayal. The damn woman was a puzzle.
Gina had left that morning quite early. He hadn't expected an explanation, whatever was happening between them allowed him to hold her at night, but it didn't seem to allow him any insights into her padlocked thoughts.
When he arrived at work, he walked into the large open room that housed most of Keller's team, the finest team around for developing applications. The directors and project managers were upstairs near the boardroom. As the server engineer, his cubicle was near the server room. Rob's desk, which was usually empty because he typically worked from home, was positioned in the next section over with all the developers. The technical writers were at the opposite end, with Gina sitting next to Lydia. He used to love that he was far from Gina during the day. Now, the distance troubled him.
He dumped his bag in his bottom drawer and removed the devices he'd need today from the top drawer. The morning system checks kept him busy for a bit. Once done, he turned from his desk, intending to fetch a cup of coffee.
“Marcus, good morning, buddy.”
“Rob.” The men hugged. “I wasn't expecting you in the office today.”
“Keller wanted everyone in today for the launch party.”
“Good. Have you met Janna, yet?”
“No, but Keller says she's planning to use me on this project. I've heard some great things about her.”
He stepped closer. “She's Simon's sub.”
“Oh, okay. She's a trainee too, right?”
“Yes, she's new to Charlie's pro
gram.”
“Jane will probably meet her on Sunday then. Charlie invited her to the B&B for a brunch she's holding with all the trainees.”
“Sorry I didn't call you earlier this week. Things are still going well?”
“Quite well. From the sounds of it, last weekend was just as educational for us as it was for you.”
“What are you talking about?” He lowered his gaze and turned in the direction of Gina's cubicle, finding it empty. “Did Keller tell you what happened?”
“No, Gina did.”
“What?” He leaned in close. “Gina?” When Rob nodded, he waved at him and led him back to the server room. After entering his passcode and fingerprint into the scanner, he held the door open and ushered Marcus inside. “Start at the beginning.”
“She called last night and asked if we could meet her for breakfast this morning.”
“We?”
“I know. Jane and I had no idea what to expect. I was tempted to go myself, but Jane insisted on coming along. I'm glad she did, because I have a witness. You may not believe this, but Gina apologized.”
“For what?” The list was long. “I hope she apologized to Jane.”
“I think that was the only thing she didn't say sorry for. In fact, she was quite adamant about not apologizing for how she treated Jane. The way she sees it, if anything she'd said had scared Jane away then she wouldn't have been right for me.”
“Figures.” Marcus shook his head and chuckled.
“Jane agreed with her.”
“What?”
“I know, but it wasn't the wildest thing Gina said. She gave us the story about Dale. Most of it I'd heard before, but I think she was telling the truth.”
“It's such a mess.”
“Tell me about it. You met Dale. Did she tell you the story too?”
“It's no story. That man is a real piece of work.”
“Oh I know. I wanted to kick him right out of the house, but Gina never let me.”
“Did she never tell you why?”
“At that point, we weren’t talking much anymore.”
“Sorry man, I had no idea.”
“The last straw was the day she spun the cockamamie story I'd first heard from Leslie. The whole thing proved I was no longer her priority.”
“I knew there was something more to your breakup, but you never told me you expected something else had happened.” He looked across the room at the rack of servers. “Or was I not listening?”
“A little bit of both. To be honest, part of me figured one day she'd admit she had feelings for you.” He sat on the one stool in the room. “I never expected our relationship to simply fall apart. She may not have cheated on me, but it broke my heart when our marriage ended. Everything back then was confusing. Gina certainly didn’t make that easy.”
“I couldn't have been much help. Once I heard cheat. I blamed her for everything that was going wrong in your marriage. I'm sorry, man. I don't think I ever let you tell me everything.”
“The woman was my world for so many years.” Rob rubbed his chest. “Losing her father. Dale. Her mom’s cancer. She deserved a happier life than the one she's been given.”
“I know.”
“You know because she's your world too. She creates craziness out of loving her.”
“You're right about that.”
“I'm glad you're finally admitting it.” Rob stood and grasped Marcus’s shoulder. “That's one of the best gifts Jane has given me. The honesty our love has brought makes me weightless.”
A series of beeps rang from his phone. “That's Keller’s ringtone.” Marcus pulled out his phone. “Shit.”
“What is it?”
“It just says, 911 break room.”
The two of them made their way out of the server room and through the rows of cubicles. The closer they got, the louder the voices became.
****
Gina stirred a little sugar in her coffee, determined to make something in her life sweet. Her talk with Rob and Jane that morning might make Marcus happy, but damn if it hadn't made her cranky. It only proved to her she'd never be able to live up to all of Marcus's expectations. Telling Rob the truth had been the right thing to do, but the only reason she'd done it was because she gave a shit about Rob. She knew full well that would not be likely the next time Marcus asked her to do something.
He probably wouldn’t be pleased she snapped at Lydia on the way into work, but she refused to feel bad about it, no matter how long Jake decided to yell at her. She took a sip of coffee and glanced at the clock, wondering when Jake would finish his lecture. There were plenty of other things worth her concern.
It wouldn't be long now before Marcus stopped coming around her place at night. It wouldn't be long now before her mom died too. Even the hospice nurse said she seemed weaker. Last night, she told Gina to prepare for the end. Her mom might be living on borrowed time, but Gina wasn't ready to let her go. The silver lining was when she did pass, she'd be rejoined with the love of her life. Everyone had their special someone. It was the beautiful part of life. Rob had Jane. Even Jake, who was still yelling at her, had Lydia.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jake took a step towards Gina.
“Nothing. There is also nothing wrong with Lydia.” She sipped her coffee. “She's quite capable of talking for herself.”
“She's right.” Lydia tugged on his arm. “It's fine.”
“I'm tired of her stomping all over everyone when she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.”
“You don't know shit about me.” Gina cocked back her head. Not wanting any of them to know she'd found her someone, but that he could never love her like Jake clearly loved Lydia. “I woke up just fine this morning.”
“That's enough, Gina.” Marcus stepped around Jake. “Everyone back to work.” He stared her down. “Except you.”
Once Lydia tugged Jake out of the room, everyone else followed.
“Thanks for getting the monkeys off my back, honey.” She put the spoon she used to stir her coffee in the dishwasher.
“Why do you do that?”
“I didn't do anything. It's not my fault Lydia can't stand up for herself.” She sipped her coffee.
“She shouldn't have to defend herself to you.”
“No, but she needs to think better of herself.” She placed her mug on the counter and crossed her arms.
“I could say the same to you.”
“I'm not broken.” She charged towards him. “You don't need to fix me!” She shoved him, then clutched his shirt in both hands. “Do you hear me? I'm not broken.” She shoved against his chest again.
“I'm in your corner.” He wrapped her in his arms. “Don't push me away.”
“Don't you see?” She bit her lip. “You'll do it all on your own. It's okay. I'm used to it.” She tore out of his grip. “I'm a hard girl to love.”
“Tell me about it.” He picked up her cup and set it out of her reach.
“Don't be cruel.”
“You can't shut me out. Remember what I said. I'm not going anywhere.” He lifted her chin. “I was talking with Rob before I came in here.”
Tears filled her vision.
“You did well.”
“Don't tell me you're proud of me.”
“I wouldn't think of it.” He kissed her cheek. “Finish your work, we'll relax tonight, and we'll head north first thing in the morning.”
“Okay.” She didn't have the strength to fight him. They may be a pipe dream, but tomorrow would be a lot easier with him by her side. A lot of things would be easier with him by her side. An empty ache rolled in her belly. Without her permission, she'd begun to rely on him.
Chapter Nine
Saturday morning came all too soon. He left Gina still sleeping and hoped when she woke that she'd read at least one of the notes he'd left her. Keller wanted to utilize Club Blind that night and asked him to come make a couple of security changes before they headed to Lake Geneva. The changes had
been simple and even sparked a couple of creative ideas. Marcus planned to talk to Rob about creating a simple app, making it easier for the Masters to use the club in different ways.
He ran up the stairs towards the main part of the club, hoping to find Keller for a quick goodbye. He needed to get back to Gina. The repeated checks on his phone gave him no sense of security and he didn't trust her not to leave without him He opened the main door and found a small group gathered around the bar.
“So, I'm not the only one who got called in this morning,” Marcus said.
“Where did you come from?” Lydia blew her nose into a tissue.
“Keller called me in. Did you guys get called in too?” He eventually saw that Jake and Simon were busy behind the bar. He stopped close to Lydia. “What happened?”
“Marcus.” Keller came up behind him. “Is Gina still at home?”
“She was asleep when I left. Why?”
“Her mom died this morning.”
“Shit.” His thoughts went to the delicate woman lying in her pretty room. He hoped her gentle soul was at peace and far from pain. The thought gave him some comfort. He took a deep breath, taken aback by the emotions and thoughts swirling around him.
“I think it would be best if she heard the news from you,” Keller said.
“I'd prefer it that way.” Marcus crossed his arms and rubbed at the ache in his chest. It didn't matter that he'd just reconnected with her mom. He pulled out his phone, knowing he needed to tell his own parents the news.
“Dale just called me and I can't get a hold of Gina.” Keller crossed his arms. “He's coming down with a letter from her mom.”
“Poor woman. She must have been a saint.” Jake wiped down the bar.
“She was an amazing woman.” Marcus needed to move. The last thing Gina needed was to hear about her mom from Dale.
“I imagine that's what it took to have unconditional love for her daughter.” Simon set several different colored wrist cuffs on the bar.
“That's quite enough.” Marcus barked at Simon.
“You can't be defending her. I mean she gives us all grief. Didn't she cheat on your best friend?”