by J. H. Croix
“It sure was,” Grace added. “Is there something going on with you and Lucas?”
Seeing as Dani knew a little bit, but certainly not all of it, I figured there was no sense in lying. I lifted one of my shoulders in a shrug, striving to be casual. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” Evie leaned forward on her elbows. “This is huge.”
“Why is it huge?” I asked.
Grace arched a brow, pursing her lips slightly. “Lucas doesn’t get involved with anyone. I don’t know if it’s personal, but ever since everything went down …” she began before looking at Dani.
“She knows,” Dani chimed in, answering Grace’s unspoken question. “They’re about to walk over here, so let’s not make it a thing.”
Evie leaned back in her chair, nodding solemnly. “Of course not.”
“All right, when are we doing the hair dye thing because we are getting the scoop on this?” Grace asked.
“Tomorrow,” Evie said just as Jackson and Lucas turned away from the counter with coffee cups in their hands and walked in our direction.
I had no idea how to handle these situations. I didn’t know what to call what was happening with Lucas and me because I’d never navigated the waters of casual social interactions when it involved a man who knew me intimately.
It didn’t help that my pulse had gone haywire and butterflies were spinning in circles in my belly. It also didn’t help that I could hardly breathe. You’d think breathing would be something I could handle. I shouldn’t have to think about it.
I hoped they were only coming over to say hello, but that hope clashed with the wish that Lucas would walk over and kiss me and maybe even declare to the world he loved me. That was how out of my element I was. I was having fantasies about love when we barely talked about anything.
It had been several days since our last night together over the weekend. There had been the shower night and another night when he sent me flying more than once. I wondered how I had survived without sex this far in my life. He had even sweet-talked me into trying out my pink vibrator with him.
Just thinking about it now made me blush. I didn’t know if I could blush any harder at this rate. Even my toenails were probably flushed. I took a fortifying sip of my coffee, catching one of my curls in my fingers and twirling it.
The couple sitting at the table beside us happened to get up just as Jackson and Lucas arrived. “Hey there, mind if we grab your table?” Jackson asked.
“Of course not, we’re leaving,” the man said.
Jackson and Lucas sat down, mere feet away from us. It so happened that Lucas was seated opposite me. Although I told myself not to look directly at him, of course my eyes went right there. Because I couldn’t help it. It had only been days since the weekend had ended, but I missed him, and it didn’t make any sense.
“Well, hey boys,” Dani said, immediately starting the conversation.
Lucas’s eyes collided with mine again, lingering briefly, the heat in his gaze nearly taking my breath away.
“Hey in return,” Jackson replied. “Was wondering where you were.”
Dani cocked her head to the side. “I do occasionally leave the restaurant, you know.”
Lucas glanced at her, his lips kicking up in a slight smile. “Shocking.”
Jackson grinned. “We’re headed to a meeting at the station and stopped for coffee on the way. Mind if I snag one of those?” he asked, gesturing to the basket of muffins.
“Of course not,” Evie replied, sliding the basket to the edge of the table.
Jackson and Lucas helped themselves, and the conversation carried on around me. I was finding it quite difficult to have Lucas this close and be surrounded by friends, basically forcing me to be socially appropriate. Although I didn’t know what I would’ve done if we’d been alone.
With a mental shake, I sipped my coffee and managed to articulate polite responses during the conversation. Jackson and Lucas stood after a few moments, saying their goodbyes. I felt silly because I wanted to get up and follow Lucas right now and ask him when I could see him again. But that was the thing. He had other priorities, and they didn’t always include nights with me.
I managed what I thought to be a socially appropriate goodbye to both of them, watching as they walked out. Just as Lucas reached the door, he glanced back, and it felt as if a flame licked through the air between us. With just a look, he had me hot and bothered all over again.
After the door closed behind him, I almost choked on my next sip of coffee when Evie turned to me, her brows hitching up. “Whoa. Something is totally going on.”
Dani narrowed her eyes. “If Lucas has the hots for her, so be it.”
In a funny way, I almost wanted to let this keep rolling, if only because I could use the collective wisdom of about a thousand women at this point.
I caught Dani’s eye. “I don’t mind.”
“You sure? Because you will hear more about this than you ever wanted.”
My cheeks were still hot from that searing look from Lucas. I shrugged again. “So what? Here’s the thing, we kissed and maybe more.”
Dani’s eyes widened. “I think I missed half the story.”
Meanwhile, Grace and Evie leaned forward together, waiting for me to fill in the blanks. As much as I wanted advice, I wasn’t going to tell them everything. Somehow, it felt too private, too intimate. I felt protective of Lucas and had no idea what to do with that.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lucas
That evening I sat on the couch, watching Rylie carefully assemble a puzzle. Her dark hair was pulled up in a ponytail held in place with a bright pink elastic. She was a combination of feminine and tomboy and had been ever since she had a preference. Pink was her absolute favorite color, and she loved overalls and trucks. Today, she was wearing a modified pair of overalls cut into shorts with a tank top underneath. They hung loosely over her thin frame. It didn’t seem to matter how much she ate, she stayed skinny. I’d even asked her doctor about it at her checkup last month, but she had assured me Rylie was just fine.
“Daddy, this one?” she asked, holding up a piece.
I leaned forward, eyeing the puzzle. The piece she held was white with a dash of red. Jade sat on the floor on the other side of the coffee table and snorted slightly. “Good luck with that one. I tried to find its spot too.”
Scanning the puzzle, I narrowed down an area and pointed, watching as Rylie studied it carefully for another moment before gleefully fitting the piece into a section.
I flicked my eyes up to the clock. “About time for dinner. You ready?” I asked.
Rylie looked up, her ponytail bouncing when she nodded. “Yes! What are we having?”
I slid my gaze to Jade who replied, “Your favorite potato casserole, sweet pea. Come on.” She stood, holding her hand out for Rylie as I pushed up from the couch and walked toward the kitchen.
“Wash your hands first,” I called as Rylie broke free and started to run to the small round table beside the kitchen. She immediately changed course, veering down the hallway in the back.
“You staying?” I asked as Jade reached my side and leaned against the end of the island.
“Not tonight. I promised I’d cover a shift at Lost Deer Bar.”
“Please don’t tell me you need the money because I’ll insist on paying you more if you do.” The oven timer buzzed right then, and I turned away.
“I don’t need the money. I’m just doing a favor.” Rylie returned from the bathroom, wiping her hands on her overalls. “Gotta go,” Jade said as she knelt and held her arms out.
Rylie skidded to a stop, swinging her arms around Jade’s neck and planting a noisy kiss on her cheek. “Good night, JJ.”
Jade straightened before casting a quick wink and a wave my way as she hooked her purse over her arm.
Some nights, it was damn tempting to sit on the couch and watch television when Rylie and I had dinner, but I didn’t want that to be the only way we spe
nt time together. We were about halfway through dinner when my emergency cell phone buzzed.
Rylie knew what that meant. “You have to go, Daddy. Should I go with you?” she asked.
I kept my “oh fuck” silent as I looked over at her. I wasn’t even thinking when Jade left. Not that I’d have asked her to stay, but I was on duty tonight. I needed to call my mom and see if she could come over. “I’ll figure it out, sweet pea,” I replied, standing from the table and striding into the living room.
After calling in to confirm I’d be there as soon as I could, I quickly texted my mother only to get her reply that she was still running errands in Asheville and wouldn’t be able to make it back for an hour and a half. When we were backup on call, blessedly, part of the team was always on duty full-time, so we had some leeway to get there. That leeway didn’t extend to an hour and a half, though.
My next option would be Shay, Dani, or… My thoughts trailed off. My last option was Valentina. Before I even thought about it, I pulled up her number, and my thumbs were texting her. I couldn’t even admit I wanted her to come over. Because that meant a chance for me to see her.
I reasoned she clearly had experience with babysitting. All she would need to do tonight was the bedtime routine.
Me: Hey, it’s Lucas. I’m in a bit of a bind and could use a favor. I got a call out for the emergency team, and my usual babysitting sources are unavailable. Rylie loved when you helped out with Shay, so I was wondering if you might have a few hours tonight.
I hit send so fast I immediately wondered if I’d lost my mind. Though if I was being honest with myself, I’d lost my damn mind over Valentina weeks ago. Having her come to my house to babysit was another level of crazy.
I ran a hand through my hair, glancing at Rylie who was still steadily eating. She was a slow eater. Most of the time, I didn’t mind, but I’d had to teach myself patience for that. I tended to shovel food in my mouth. That was what happened when your life was a flat-out run just to keep up.
My phone buzzed in my palm, and I glanced down.
Valentina: Of course. Should I come to you?
My heart felt as if it were tumbling in my chest. Out of the blue, or so it seemed, my throat tightened with emotion. Of course Valentina would say yes. She was that kind of person. I doubted it would ever occur to her to say no. I was overjoyed at nothing more than her agreeing to babysit. My out-of-proportion response wasn’t something I could contemplate now.
Lifting my phone again, I tapped out my reply.
Me: Yes. If you don’t mind. I’m not sure what time I’ll be back. This way, Rylie can fall asleep here.
Valentina: OK, what’s your address?
Once again, my thumbs were ahead of the rest of me. I typed it out in a hot second with her reply coming just as quickly.
Valentina: Be there in about 15 minutes.
My mind was jangling with a mix of thoughts and emotions. I was fucking insane. But in the end, I needed someone to watch Rylie or to scrounge someone up to cover for me. My options at this hour were limited for both.
Dawson was often good in a pinch, but I knew he was probably already well into several beers at Lost Deer Bar. I returned to the table, slipping into the chair beside Rylie. She glanced up. “So what’s happening?” Happening was a new favorite word for her, a rather big word.
“Do you remember Valentina? The lady who was with Shay last week when I dropped you off?”
Rylie’s smile split wide. “Valentine. That’s her name, Daddy. You’re saying it wrong.”
I didn’t have the heart to correct her. Not that it mattered. I sincerely doubted Valentina would care one way or the other if Rylie called her Valentine.
“Well, she’s on her way over. She’ll stay to help you get ready for bed. You’ll probably be asleep when I get home. Do me a favor and finish up, okay?” I asked, nodding toward the few bites of potato casserole left on her plate.
Rylie carefully took her remaining bites, her feet drumming on the legs of her chair. I didn’t give myself much credit for it, what with my mom and my sister spending as much time with Rylie as me, but I was beyond relieved she was a social girl. She loved new people and tended to easily adjust as long as she was comfortable.
Not that I had many parents to talk with, but I’d heard my share of stories about screaming tantrums and refusals to go to bed and so on and so forth when babysitters were needed. Rylie had her moments, but they were rare. Her pediatrician had even commented on her laid-back temperament.
Despite my tangled feelings about Melissa, it still hurt she wasn’t here to see her little girl. Somehow, I doubted we would be together if she were, but she had a special daughter.
I shoveled the rest of my dinner in and stood to rinse our plates. Rylie hurried to her bedroom to pull out her favorite stuffed bear along with her two current favorite bedtime stories. When she returned to the living room, her ponytail even more lopsided now, there was a knock on the front door.
“I got it!” Rylie announced as she promptly dropped the bear and the books on the floor.
I turned, about to tell her to pick everything up, but then reconsidered. Not now.
Standing on her tiptoes, she turned the doorknob with both hands. I forced myself to wait in the kitchen because I knew the moment I saw Valentina, I would want to kiss her. Just like I did every time I saw her now. I needed to keep some distance between us to curb the temptation.
The door opened slowly without much momentum since Rylie was only so strong. A blast of humidity came in from outside. Valentina stood in the doorway, her hair more curly than usual, likely due to the lingering heat from the day.
“Hi, Valentine,” Rylie said, sweeping one of her hands in a wide arc.
“Hey, Rylie,” Valentina replied with a smile, kneeling to greet her.
Rylie’s smile went from ear to ear. As Valentina straightened, her eyes caught mine. I hadn’t quite adjusted to it, but I was learning that any time I saw Valentina, it was as if lightning jolted me, the air becoming heavy with a sizzle of electricity following.
I rounded the counter, still holding the dishtowel in my hands. “Thanks for coming over on such short notice,” I said as I stopped beside Rylie.
Rylie wasn’t paying the least bit of attention. She had already turned to gather up her stuffed bear and her two books, carting them over to the couch.
“No problem. Is there anything I should know before you go?” Valentina asked. Her eyes met mine briefly before bouncing away and sliding over to Rylie.
“Not much. She just had dinner. She’s got her bedtime routine down.” Setting the dishtowel on the counter, I walked over to the couch. Resting my hips onto the edge of it, I glanced at Rylie. “Why don’t you tell Valentina your bedtime routine?”
“Valentine,” Rylie corrected me.
I caught the twitch of Valentina’s lips, but she stayed quiet. I was far too aware of what she was wearing. It was entirely unremarkable. She had on a pair of stretchy leggings that fell to just below her knees, and cowboy boots paired with a gray T-shirt. Even though the fabric was loose, her breasts stretched across the front. I swallowed and looked away. I did not need to be lusting after my daughter’s short-notice babysitter.
Valentina tucked an errant curl behind her ear and sat down in a chair to one side of the couch. “Please tell me what your schedule is so we get it right.”
Rylie’s small fingers fiddled with the bear’s ear. “I need to brush my teeth and then after that, I wash my hands and change into my jammies. Then I get a bedtime story. Whoever’s here reads me the bedtime story, so that’s you tonight.”
Valentina grinned. “It sounds like you have it all lined out. What time do you usually brush your teeth?”
Rylie reached for my hand, turning it so she could look at the watch on my wrist. “Seven thirty.”
“All right. We have a schedule. I think I can handle that, and I’m guessing your dad needs to go.”
Rylie leaned over, burrowi
ng her head into my shoulder. As she wrapped her arms around my waist, I held her close. “I do. You be a good girl, okay?”
Leaning away, she nodded, watching as I stood. Valentina stood with me.
“Is there anything else I need to know?” she asked as I strode toward the door where my go-bag was always waiting.
“Nah. That’s pretty much it. Bedtime usually isn’t an issue for her, so it should be fine.” I snagged my keys and slung my bag on my shoulder, glancing down at her. The urge to kiss her was almost overpowering, but we had an audience—a specific, very curious audience of one. “I’m not sure what time I’ll be back. As soon as I have an ETA, I’ll text.”
“I’ll stay as long as you need me.” At the last minute, she reached out, catching my hand and giving it a quick squeeze. “Be safe.”
My heart tumbled again, and I wanted to pull her close. I didn’t go through life thinking much about how alone I was, but it was a bald fact. Oh, I had Rylie, my mother, my father, and my sister, but I didn’t have a partner. Back when I thought Melissa and I meant something, I savored that knowledge.
Swallowing through the thickness in my throat, I nodded. “Always.”
I needed to go, and I needed to get the hell out of this moment before I did something stupid.
Hours later, after helping a pair of idiots who decided to try to rock climb in the dark and got stranded high on a ledge, along with Jackson and Wade, I headed back home. I belatedly realized I needed to let Valentina know I was on my way. Pulling off the side of the road, I quickly texted her and then kept driving.
It was still hot out, but I had the windows open. That was something I loved. After darkness fell, the air was rich with the lingering scents of flowers and greenery as it cooled. The moon was high above the Blue Ridge Mountains, shining in the inky blue night sky with stars scattered amidst the drifting clouds.
Anticipation was humming in my body. I had taken things too far with Valentina, and I didn’t know how the hell to back out. I wouldn’t lie. I wanted her something fierce. Something about her authenticity struck a chord in me, the vibration echoing through my body. I never thought I would want more with a woman. After losing Melissa when she died, it had been hard to think about letting someone matter that much. Life seemed too fickle.