Darcy noted her eyes glistened and he handed her his handkerchief. “I … forgive me, I was unaware.”
Mrs. Abernathy dabbed her eyes before returning the handkerchief to him, then smiled reassuringly. “You were a small lad. I believe your parents attempted to intervene, but Catherine would have none of it. I had stood in her way, and she would not forget. Her good opinion once lost, is lost forever.”
Her choice of words froze Darcy in his seat. He was uncertain why until he remembered an evening at Netherfield Park when Elizabeth had been attempting to learn more of him, specifically his faults. He had used those very words in regard to himself. His stomach lurched and he thought he might be ill as he realized how similar he was to his aunt.
“Mr. Darcy?” The widow leaned forward and touched his arm, drawing him from his thoughts.
“I must beg your forgiveness again. I fear I was lost in thought.” He could barely speak as his mind searched for any other similarities between himself and his least favourite relative.
“You are too young for such things.” She laughed her silent rumble again.
“Darcy?”
Still distracted, Darcy turned to find his cousin and Mrs. Martin watching him strangely. “Yes?”
“I have asked Genie to show us about the home.” Fitz’s voice was low. “There are some repairs that I believe should be addressed. I realize it is outside of Rosings, but it is the Christian thing to do.” The Colonel glanced at the older woman then back to his cousin.
Darcy looked at their hostess and discovered her eyes had fallen shut and her head was leaning further to the side.
“My mother will sleep for some time and we might speak elsewhere,” Mrs. Martin assured him.
The three of them stood and quietly left the room as the maid returned and took a seat beside her mistress. Mrs. Martin led the way to the lower floors and began pointing out things that were needed. Darcy drew a notebook and pencil from his pocket and jotted down instructions. Beyond the normal deterioration, at some time there had been flooding and a few rotten boards needed replacing. The cost would be minimal, but it was clearly more than the ladies could afford.
“Mother will be waking soon,” Genie, as she insisted he call her, said. “We should return upstairs so you can say your goodbyes.”
They were about to re-enter Mrs. Abernathy’s sitting room when her daughter stopped and met Darcy’s gaze directly. “I ask that you not mention what I showed you, sir. Mother is not aware of how things are downstairs. She is no longer able to go below, so there is no reason to concern her.”
Darcy bowed his assent and she led them inside. They took the seats they had previously vacated and the maid removed the tea tray as she left. Conversation continued quietly until Mrs. Abernathy began to stir. Darcy thanked her for a pleasant conversation and he and his cousin took their leave.
As they were returning to Rosings, he confronted the Colonel. “Why did you take me there?”
Fitz stared out over the fields and they rode in silence for several minutes. Darcy was about to ask his question again, when his cousin finally spoke.
“Rosings thrives, but these two good ladies who live in its shadow are faced with such conditions. It is not right.”
“No, you are correct.” They continued riding. After a few minutes, Darcy spoke again. “Lady Catherine will never agree to the repairs and she will note any discrepancies in the ledgers.”
Fitz reined in his horse and turned, frowning at his cousin. “Are you saying you will not help …?”
“I am saying the funds cannot come from Rosings.” Darcy chewed his lip as the men continued on. “Normally, I would enlist the rector to assist in having the work done, but …”
“Collins will not go against his patroness.” Fitz cursed under his breath. “Would … that is … what would be the role of the rector’s wife in such a thing.”
Darcy shook his head. “It would require negotiating with tradesmen. I cannot see Collins allowing … Word would come back to him and Lady Catherine.” He shook his head once more thinking how Elizabeth would be treated if such a thing occurred.
“Anne?”
“No, for the same reasons.” Darcy took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I can only see one solution. A man must be assigned to the task.”
“Would Lady Catherine’s steward consider it? Or perhaps he knows someone we can use.”
“He might. I still worry that it will get back to her ladyship.”
Fitz laughed. “Well it is not as though you could do it. It would require you remain here or in London and travel here frequently. Lady Catherine will see it as a step closer to your proposing.” He sobered and looked at his cousin. “And you have made it clear that you wish to leave here as soon as possible.”
It was Darcy’s turn to spit out an oath. “I will see what I can accomplish before we go.”
***********
Saturday morning found Darcy once more on the path leading to the field of wildflowers. He was uncertain of his intentions, but he was drawn inexplicably to a meeting with Elizabeth just the same. A dull grey light filled the wood with that last lingering clutch of night before it gives way to dawn. Darcy approached the opening but remained hidden just inside the tree line. His eyes scanned the field, searching for her.
“Do not be afraid, sir.” Her voice was soft and nearer than he had anticipated.
Turning, Darcy found her a few feet from the path. She was staring at the point where the sun would break over the trees. Had she not spoken; he would have thought her unaware of his presence.
“I did not wish to intrude upon you again.”
“Yet you came.”
“I was unable to stay away.”
She nodded, then her eyes fell shut and she took a deep breath as the first rays of the sun caressed her countenance. Darcy could not tear his gaze from her. A smile brightened her features more than the light and she swayed as though a tune played in her mind. A tear crept down her cheek followed by another on the other side and joined by a third. Unable to remain still, Darcy stepped closer and withdrew his handkerchief. This time, he wiped the tears away himself, as he had done for his sister when she was a small child.
Elizabeth’s eyes fluttered open and she stared at him. The sun cast his shadow over her, and she shivered so he stepped away. They remained in the meadow, neither speaking as they enjoyed the beginning of a new day and witnessed nature’s awakening. Eventually, she turned toward the parsonage and Darcy walked beside her. She slipped her hand onto his arm.
“Elizabeth …” he began.
“You must not call me such, Mr. Darcy.”
“But I am unable to call you by his name.”
The silence encompassed them again until they reached the spot where they normally parted and Elizabeth stopped walking. She looked toward the parsonage, a soft sigh escaping her lips, and then turned to face him.
“I understand you plan to leave to-day.”
Darcy’s brow furrowed as he wondered how she might have known, but then realized Anne must have told her. “That was my original intent, but I have discovered a situation which requires further attention. I fear I am unable to set everything in place before next week.”
She nodded and glanced down the road once more. “I rarely walk out on Sunday mornings. I am normally indisposed before service.”
“Then I shall see you in church to-morrow?”
“I beg you will not be concerned should I not speak beyond a brief greeting.” Her head dropped as she stared at the ground and she squeezed his arm. “I must leave you now, sir, but your presence was most welcome this morning.”
Darcy lifted her hand from his arm and brushed his lips over her knuckles. “Your presence always brings me pleasure … Madam.”
She dipped a quick curtsey and continued down the road before he had the opportunity to bow. For the third time, he watched her until she was out of sight and then turned back to Rosings. His mind was overset by their
encounter and he tried to make sense of it. Had she been sad when she thought him leaving? Did she believe he had come to say goodbye? What did she mean by saying she was indisposed on Sundays?
He soon found himself on the stone path leading to the kitchens and slipped inside. The servants bowed or curtseyed at his arrival, but no longer appeared surprised. Darcy tipped his head in their direction and continued on his way to his rooms where he found both his cousins waiting for him.
“Anne,” he brushed a kiss on her cheek, “I am surprised to see you up so early.”
“Fitzwilliam said you were not in your room.” She glanced toward the Colonel. “We worried for you.”
Darcy sank onto the ottoman beside her, his long legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankles. His cousins regained their seats and looked at him expectantly. Darcy stared at his hands.
“You told her I was leaving to-day?”
“I rode to the parsonage yesterday while you and Fitzwilliam were out. She asked after you.”
Darcy nodded. “We will be staying for a few more days.”
“Then you have a plan on how to help Genie and her mother?”
Darcy lifted his head and looked at Fitz.
Anne laughed. “Do not be surprised, Darcy. Genie and I were friends when we were children. I know Mother dislikes Mrs. Abernathy, though I know not why; but I have managed to maintain an acquaintance with them.”
“Is your mother aware?”
“Heavens, no.” She smiled mischievously. “Mother demands obedience from our servants; this does not garner devotion. If asked directly, I am certain they would tell her what I do; but none would offer the information when they know I will be mistress here before long.”
“Then they know?” Darcy glanced once more at the Colonel.
“Kite knows. That is sufficient.” Anne smoothed her skirts and waited for him to speak. When he did not, she asked, “How did you find her this morning?”
“She was expecting me.” Darcy felt the urge to smile but suppressed it. As his thoughts continued to travel over their conversation, he frowned instead. “She mentioned she would be indisposed to-morrow and would not walk out.”
Anne nodded. “Elizabeth never feels well on Sundays.”
“I do not understand.”
A blush covered his cousin’s countenance. “It is not something that should be discussed.” She stood and the gentlemen leapt to their feet. “You are well, Darcy? Seeing her was not as painful as before?”
It was clear that nothing more would be said on the matter. “I believe I am becoming resigned to the situation. I take delight in those moments we have together, though they are far too short and lead nowhere.”
Anne nodded. “I will see you at breakfast,” she called over her shoulder as she left the room.
Fitz’s hand came down upon Darcy’s shoulder. “Tell truth, Cousin. How are you?”
“I am truly well.” He smiled at the Colonel. “She was awaiting me, welcomed my company, and advised me of her anticipated absence to-morrow. It appears she has no desire for me to leave her be.”
Fitz frowned. “But nothing can come of it.”
“True.” Darcy moved away from his cousin. “Perhaps it is merely a part of her day which reminds her of her previous life. Whatever the reason, if I am able to bring her any amount of relief from her current situation, I will do so.”
“And when you leave?”
“We will continue on with our lives.” Darcy felt his spirits dip at the idea of leaving her behind, alone. Once more he wondered what his future held without Elizabeth.
Fitz shook his head. “Be careful, Cousin. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.”
Darcy frowned. “Elizabeth is not a whorish woman, Fitz, there is no need to quote Proverbs to me.”
“I only warn you, Darcy, as I see you are weakened by her.” He laid a hand upon each of Darcy’s shoulders and stared him in the eye. “You are the most righteous man I know, yet I fear you would sell your soul to be with her. I saw the look of joy which lit your eyes when you spoke of her this morning.” He shook his head. “She is not yours to have. My God, she is the wife of a rector.”
Darcy shook off his cousin’s hands. “I am not a school boy chasing the skirts of a flirtatious maid in my father’s home. How could you think such a thing of me, Fitz? Am I not the man who reprimands you for your ways?”
“Even David, a man after God’s own heart, was felled by Bathsheba.”
They stood, staring at each other, but neither spoke. Darcy knew his cousin was only thinking of his own welfare. He also recognized that Elizabeth was his weakness; his Achilles’ heel. If it were within his power to make her happy, he could not refuse to do so.
Movement from his left drew his attention and he turned to find Nelson entering the room. He heard the hallway door open and Darcy turned back in time to see Fitz standing in the doorway.
“Tread carefully, Darcy; that is all I ask.” The door closed behind him.
“Will you be breaking your fast with her ladyship, sir?” Nelson asked.
“Yes. Were you able to change our travel plans without issue?”
“Yes, sir. The innkeepers were accommodating. Your horses at Bromley will be returned to London and the stable master will await your word.”
Darcy nodded, though his mind was not on his man’s words. “Very good, Nelson. Shall we begin?” He entered the dressing room and allowed his mind to wander to the meadow while his valet prepared him for the day.
*CHAPTER TEN*
Elizabeth curled tighter into a ball and hugged her stomach as she watched the sun creep over the windowsill. The maid, Sarah, always managed to slip soundlessly into the room on Sunday mornings and draw the curtains so her mistress could awaken to the new day’s rays. Elizabeth thanked God for these small blessings as she did every week before contemplating rising. For the first time in over a month, she feared she would be unable to do so alone. She stared at the sun as her mind drifted.
When she first arrived in Hunsford, Mr. Collins had taken her straight to Rosings Park so that she might be introduced to his patroness. Elizabeth had questioned the wisdom of such as they were covered by dust from their travels, but he was insistent. As she expected, Lady Catherine had not been pleased by their dirty appearance and did not bid them sit. She instead lectured Elizabeth on her wifely duties and sent them off to the parsonage. It had been the first of many such embarrassing interviews to which Elizabeth had been submitted. She was grateful for the arrival of Mr. Darcy and his cousin as her ladyship seemed to have forgotten about the rector’s wife for the time being.
She rolled to her back, pain shooting through her stomach causing her to moan and return to her side once more as tears coursed down her cheeks. Elizabeth allowed herself a minute of self-pity, but quickly wiped her cheeks with the sheet when she heard Sarah enter the room.
The maid tsked and laid a warm brick wrapped in rags upon the bed. Elizabeth drew it to her abdomen and whispered a thank you.
“’Twas especially bad last night?” the girl asked compassionately, but Elizabeth remained silent. “Mrs. Genie would be able to help you, Ma’am.”
“No,” Elizabeth shook her head. “Should Lady Catherine hear of it …” Fresh tears slipped silently from her eyes. “No.”
Sarah bit her lip as she glanced about. “It’s gettin’ late, Ma’am. If you wish to be seated before anyone arrives, you best be gettin’ up.”
Elizabeth nodded, but made no effort to rise. She lay still a moment longer but, seeing the maid’s agitation, she finally pushed herself into a sitting position. After taking several deep breaths, she stood and staggered to the chamber pot hearing Sarah tsking again behind her.
“You bled again, Ma’am. I’ll have to strip the bed.”
“I apologize for the extra work …”
“Nonsense, Ma’am. You do not bleed of your own choice. Besides, I have altered the washi
n’ routine so that you always have fresh sheets on Sundays.” She rolled the bedding into a ball and set it by the door before going to the wardrobe. “What will you be wearin’ this mornin’, Ma’am?”
Elizabeth thought of her clothing, worried lest she began to bleed again while in church. “I believe something dark would be best; perhaps the brown.”
“Your pink and yellow striped fichu would complement it prettily.” Sarah pulled out the dress and hung it on a hook, then went in search of the accessories.
With the maid’s assistance, Elizabeth washed and dressed. The two of them were making their way slowly down the steps when Mr. Collins bustled from his room. Elizabeth flattened herself against the wall, hoping he would pass her by, but he stood and waited for the women to descend ahead of him. After three slow steps, he huffed in impatience. Elizabeth once more stepped to the side, but he insisted she go first, and then proceeded to mutter under his breath over her slothfulness.
They reached the bottom of the steps and he offered her his arm. “Shall we break our fast, my dear?”
Elizabeth shook her head but did not meet his gaze. “I thought I would go to the church and make certain all is prepared as you prefer. I can then spend some time in prayer before the parishioners arrive.”
She felt his hand upon her cheek, patting it in a patronizing manner. “You are correct, of course. How thoughtful you are, dear wife, to set aside your own needs for mine. Perhaps Jane might visit us after all.”
Recognizing this for the empty promise it was, Elizabeth managed a small curtsey, but did not become overly excited as she had in the past. She excused herself, knowing Sarah would have to remain behind to serve Mr. Collins’ breakfast. Taking a few steps, then resting, and repeating this process, she finally entered the church and made her way to the front pew opposite Lady Catherine’s. As always, Sarah had placed a pillow in her seat and Elizabeth sunk onto it with gratitude.
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