Mr. Collins patted her shoulder. “Lady Catherine has requested the midwife visit to ascertain your condition.”
Though she intended on seeking advice from Genie, Elizabeth knew she could not refuse Lady Catherine’s offer. “That is quite thoughtful of her ladyship. I shall be sure to write her a note of appreciation when I am more fully awake.” Her eyes fluttered shut while Mr. Collins continued his raptures over the attentiveness of his patroness. Elizabeth thought she heard Sarah enter and then all was silent, and she was asleep once more.
***********
“Ma’am?”
Sarah’s quiet voice stirred Elizabeth from dreams of sleeping in William’s arms. She stretched and turned toward the young girl with a smile upon her lips. “Yes, Sarah?”
“You are feeling much better now, I believe.” She glanced toward the door and back. “Old Mrs. Rickman is here to see you. Her ladyship sent her.”
“The midwife?” Elizabeth asked.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Elizabeth sighed. “Best to have this done then. Please show her in.”
The door had barely opened than the woman had pushed through and came to stand at Elizabeth’s bedside. “Good day, Mrs. Collins. I am told you suspect yourself to be with child.” Her eyes ran the length of Elizabeth’s figure.
Feeling a bit uneasy, Elizabeth began to sit up, but the woman pressed her back onto the sheets.
“When did you last have your courses?”
“A few weeks before we travelled to Hertfordshire for my sister’s wedding, the beginning of August.”
The old woman nodded as she ran her hands over Elizabeth’s stomach. “It would be full soon to be showing,” she muttered more to herself. She reached up and squeezed Elizabeth’s breasts causing her to cry out. “They are tender then?”
“Yes,” Elizabeth snapped.
The old woman chuckled. “I suspect you will know for certain by Christmas. You must no longer suffer your husband’s presence in your bed. I will tell him that.” Mrs. Rickman’s eyes sparkled mischievously, and Elizabeth suspected the woman would enjoy that part. “I will visit you in a month to see how you are. Have dry toast and tea when you wake until you are no longer unwell in the morning. That should pass within a month or so. If you should need my assistance, I will see you sooner.”
The woman patted Elizabeth’s hand and smiled. “Children are a blessing, Mrs. Collins.”
“Yes.” Elizabeth’s eyes filled with tears.
“Do not be surprised if you cry more or your emotions change rapidly.” Mrs. Rickman opened the door. “It is all normal.” She smiled again and then was gone.
Elizabeth laid her hands upon her stomach as tears coursed down her cheeks. “Well, it is about time, little one.” She bit her lip. “If only we could tell your father. I suppose he will learn of it somehow, but he is very busy.” She was unable to suppress her smile and she continued speaking lovingly as she caressed her stomach. “He will be well pleased.”
***********
Darcy squatted in the stall and ran a hand down the bitch’s back. Her pups sucked heartily or wrestled to find an opening. The runt, however, was repeatedly pushed away, though the mother tried to nose him closer when she was able.
“Oh, he is so small, and they will not let him near.” Georgiana Darcy leaned over the stall door. “Is there nothing we can do?” she asked with tears in her large blue eyes.
“It appears Hera wishes him to come near, but his siblings are too rambunctious for him.” Darcy reached over and lifted the pup, feeling bones just under his skin. He shook his head.
“Could he not be nursed? Like a babe?” his sister asked.
Darcy turned so he could study her. She had changed much over the last year and a half. She was no longer the naïve little girl who was easily led astray, but she still held some of her childlike wonder when looking at a poor runt who would most likely not live out the week.
“I fear it may be too late, Georgie,” he began, but she interrupted him.
“No! We mustn’t give him up without a fight.” She reached out for the small bundle. “I shall take him. He will be my responsibility. I am certain Mrs. Reynolds will know what to do.” She wrapped the pup in her shawl and turned away, moving quickly toward the house.
“What is she up to now?” Richard asked as he entered the stables. “I have not seen her look so determined since she found that kitten with a broken leg.”
Darcy shook his head as he stood. “Another animal. She is seeing to the runt of the litter.”
“Ah!” Richard moved closer. “It always surprises me when I see you with these dogs, Darcy. Most gentlemen allow their staff to watch over their animals. You treat them much like my mother does her Pug.”
Darcy grunted in response as he closed the door of the stall. “Springer Spaniels are far more intelligent. They listen and obey more quickly than an average field spaniel let alone a pug,” he said with some disgust in his voice. Richard was forever teasing him regarding his dogs, but a gentleman understood the value of a good hunting dog.
The men walked away from the stables and toward the house in silence. Darcy noted his cousin’s stiff bearing and was certain there was news he dreaded sharing. They were nearly to the door when Darcy spoke. “Are you going to tell me, or must I guess?”
Unruffled, Richard reached into his pocket. “I received a letter from Anne. She enclosed one for you and asked that I be with you when you read it to stop you from doing something foolish.”
This brought Darcy’s steps to a halt and he snatched the missive from his cousin’s hand. He stared at it, fear clenching his heart, then broke the seal. A quick scan revealed the first paragraphs were filled with the normal family news. When he reached the third paragraph, he was forced to read it through twice before the words settled into his mind. Slowly a smile broke across his lips and he looked at his cousin.
“She is with child.” Darcy embraced his cousin, slapping him on the back as he whispered, “I am to be a father.” He pushed back and grinned. “A child, Richard.”
His cousin’s countenance was sober. “Even if the child is yours, Darcy, you cannot claim it.”
Darcy’s chin dropped to his chest as he inhaled sharply. “I beg you allow me this brief moment.” He lifted his head to meet the Colonel’s eyes and waited for him to give a curt nod before they began walking once more.
“And your plans?” Richard asked as they reached the side door.
“The harvest is in, Pemberley is sound, and my steward has his instructions. I shall return to London.” He pulled his boots over the iron bar by the door, dislodging as much mud as possible before stepping inside.
Richard did the same. “Will people not think it odd? You despise the city and normally spend as much time in Derbyshire as possible.”
“I shall take Georgiana with me.” Darcy shrugged. “There are masters I am certain she would wish to study under.”
“You would use her as an excuse? And what happens when she asks where you go each week? Why you are happily exhausted upon your return?”
“Do not, Richard.” Darcy placed a finger on his cousin’s chest. “I will not have you turn this into something low and disgusting.” He could feel the fire in his cheeks and the burn in his chest. “I love her.”
“But she belongs to another.”
Unable to respond, Darcy turned and continued to his study. He sensed Richard a step behind him and knew the conversation was not over. Once within his sanctuary, Richard took a seat while Darcy poured them each a glass of brandy. He handed one to his cousin, eyed the chair beside him, and then took his seat behind the desk. “Were there any other letters?” he asked as he looked over his desk.
“Mother wishes to know when you will come to Matlock. I believe her niece is visiting and has brought a friend.”
“Please tell Lady Matlock I am unavailable at this time.” Darcy leaned back in his chair. Aunt Valerie was ever trying to match him with someone. She
had finally accepted that he had no interest in her niece who was nearly on the shelf, so she had moved on to her niece’s friends. He could only imagine this one. Probably the granddaughter of a duke, with George III’s nose. He shuddered at the thought.
Richard chuckled. “I do not blame you, but you know she will not stop until you are wed.”
“I will not wed anyone but her.” Darcy stared into his glass. “We discussed it when last we were together.”
“You did?” The Colonel leaned forward in his seat. “How precisely, if you do not mind my asking, are you going to accomplish that feat?”
Darcy laughed through his nose. “As if my minding would stop your asking.” He shook his head. “She insisted I marry; told me I required an heir.”
“Which is true. What did you say?”
“I told her Georgiana would be my heir, or her first or second son.”
“No more Darcys at Pemberley?” Richard appeared incredulous.
“You sound like her.” He opened the top drawer of his desk and withdrew a sheet of paper. “I have written a new will. It has not been signed yet as I am uncertain if it is finished.” His brow drew together as he read. “Should I not marry or have any offspring, my sister, Georgiana Darcy, shall be my heir with the property passing to her second son on the condition his surname be changed to Darcy. If she should only bear one son, he shall become my heir.”
“And if she bears no sons? Or say she does not marry a man of property. Would you pass over the eldest for the second and leave the first penniless?”
“I assumed a first son would wish to carry his father’s name and I doubt Georgiana will marry a penniless man.” Darcy shoved the paper back into the desk and slammed the drawer.
“As she has shown such forethought in the past.” Richard smirked.
“That was not her fault, Richard.” Darcy leaned forward. “She was tricked …”
“I do not deny that Wickham is a smooth-talking liar, but Georgiana knows right from wrong, Darcy. You protect her too much.” He finished his brandy and set the glass on the table beside him. “Well, it appears I am doing nothing but raise tempers.” He pushed out of the seat and stood before Darcy’s desk. “Are you determined to go?”
Darcy stared out the window and took a deep breath. “I miss her, Richard. I wish to share her joy.” He met his cousin’s gaze. “Next week marks one year since we danced together at Netherfield. I believe …”
“What?” Richard asked when Darcy did not show signs of continuing.
“I have often considered that night. The next day, Elizabeth was engaged to Mr. Collins. If I had spoken to her father before …” He swallowed and picked up his glass once more. “But she insists she would have refused me. I can only think that Mr. Bennet might not have forced her hand if he had been aware of my affections.”
“Or,” Richard leaned forward, “he might have forced her to accept you and she would resent you as she does Collins.”
Darcy grimaced at the thought and sipped his brandy. “I hope I would have been able to win her heart as I have now done. I certainly would not have been the brute Collins is. I would have never struck her or forced her to do anything against her will.”
“But Darcy, have you won her as you so assume?” Richard stood. “Has she declared her love for you? I did not remember you telling me that.” He stepped away from the desk as Darcy’s jaw fell open. “I believe I will see how Georgie gets on with the pup.”
The door closed with a soft click, leaving Darcy to his thoughts and memories. Elizabeth had yet to regain what Miss Bingley once called that abominable sort of conceited independence which he loved, but she did at least smile and sometimes even laugh when with him. He frowned as his cousin’s words ran through his mind. Had she declared her love for him?
Darcy lifted his glass but found it empty. He really had no desire for more drink, and therefore stood and carried the glass back to the decanter where he set it down. A glance out the window revealed grey clouds moving slowly across the sky and he contemplated them for some time while trying to sort his chaotic thoughts.
Not an opportunity escaped him to declare his love and desire for her, yet the most he recalled from her was … Had she not once said she would lose her heart if she turned from him? She had declared herself to be his, but he could not remember her voicing words of love. Elizabeth always said she missed him and that her sanity depended upon him but had yet to speak of feelings beyond these.
His gaze travelled over the land before him; meadows, fields, and forest. He would give it all up for her. What would she sacrifice for him? “Sacrifice,” he whispered as the realization came to him. She had given all for the love of her family and it had placed her in such an untenable position that she had sacrificed her very soul for a moment of happiness.
Darcy gasped. What was love but giving all that was in you to the last? All Elizabeth had left was her soul. It felt as though a hand clutched his heart and threatened to pull it from his chest as he realized how desperately she must need him. He returned to his desk, tugging the bell pull as he passed. Anne’s letter remained with a few others requiring answers. As he picked it up, he noted the close and rubbed his chest just over his heart where a dull ache had settled.
“There is much joy during this time and those who would like to share in it with you. Though you enjoy your time in Derbyshire, we could only hope that you might find time to return to those you have left behind in Kent.”
A knock sounded as he reached for pen and paper. “Enter!”
The housekeeper stepped inside; one brow raised in question as she watched him curiously. “Has there been a change to your plans, sir?”
“You know me too well, Mrs. Reynolds. My sister and I will be spending the holidays in London this year. I believe Georgiana would enjoy some time with the masters.”
“She has been at Pemberley for quite some time, sir. I am certain she will be pleased. Is there ought I should know regarding your return?”
Darcy stopped writing and looked at the woman who had nearly raised him and his sister following their mother’s death. “Are you asking if I will soon be wed, Mrs. Reynolds?”
“I would never be so bold, sir.”
He laughed. “No, of course not. I shall not wed at this time, Mrs. Reynolds.” He sighed wondering how long it would be or if he would ever be able to bring Elizabeth to his home as his wife. “You will see to the servants and tenants’ gifts in my name?”
“Of course, sir.” She bowed her head. “When will you depart?”
“The first of December. That should be sufficient time for Georgie to prepare and for letters to be sent.”
“Very well, sir.” Mrs. Reynolds curtseyed and left the room.
“A few more weeks, my love,” Darcy whispered as he dipped his pen and returned to his letter.
***********
The weak December sunlight filtered through the window as Darcy caressed Elizabeth’s slightly rounded bare stomach and cradled her to him, placing kisses upon her shoulder. “And you have felt movement?”
She nodded, intertwining her fingers with his other hand and bringing it to her lips. “They are light and small, almost like bursting bubbles.” He could hear the smile in her voice.
“I am jealous. How long do you think it will be before I will be able to feel it?”
Elizabeth shrugged. “Probably after the new year. Genie believes I conceived while in Hertfordshire.”
“On Oakham Mount?” he asked in wonder and she nodded.
“He should arrive in May.”
“And what if he is a she?” He moved his kisses to her neck as his hand crept higher to gently cradle her tender full breast.
“Bite your tongue. He must be the heir.” A shudder ran through her. “He speaks daily on how I must not disappoint him in this.”
Darcy’s arms closed protectively about her. “You have no control over such things. As a man of God, Collins must realize this.”
�
��It would simply be another sign of how unfit I am to be his wife.”
“That is because you were meant to be mine,” Darcy whispered as he rolled her to her back and kissed her fully.
His motions were less frenzied than they had been when he first arrived. He noticed the changes to her body and how ready she was for him. Expecting had increased her appetite and Darcy was more than willing to satisfy her. When they were once more spent and enjoying those precious few minutes before Genie knocked to remind them of the time, his mind wondered again to the discussion he had with Richard before leaving Pemberley.
“If something were to happen to Collins,” Darcy said quietly, “would you remarry?”
Elizabeth stiffened in his arms. “I would be in mourning for a year.”
“Yes, but after that? Should you have a son and Longbourn is secure, would you marry again?”
The honking of a flock of geese passing overhead could be heard, but silence ruled between them. He wanted to tighten his hold upon her, but fear kept him still. He knew her well enough to understand she would not lie to him.
“I am a selfish being,” he whispered. “Forgive me for asking …”
“No,” she raised up on one arm to look down at him. Her eyes travelled over his features followed closely by one finger which traced his brow, cheekbone, and lips. “I pray my child resembles you, though I fear if he does my sins will be revealed.” She lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. “I do not allow myself to consider what life might be without him. I will not add to my damnation by longing for his demise.”
Her words were a knife in his heart, and he drew her down to him. “Forgive me, my love. It was fear which caused me to speak. I cannot imagine my life without you.” He kissed her hair, her forehead, and her nose before she began to giggle.
“Fitzwilliam Darcy fears something?”
“Losing you,” he whispered and brushed a kiss over her lips. “I would rather have my heart cut from my chest still beating. I am certain it would be less painful.”
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