***********
Darcy frowned as he read the blotched paper before him. Though Bingley’s handwriting had improved somewhat over the years, he still had a habit of holding his pen in one spot for too long and allowing drops of ink to obscure some of his phrases. From what he gathered, Elizabeth and their children were healthy, but her spirits remained low. He sighed, dropping the letter onto his desk before cradling his head in his hands as uselessness overwhelmed him.
“It appears I am just in time.”
Darcy looked up to find his cousin standing in the doorway. “I am not in the mood for your games, Richard. What brings you here?”
The Colonel approached the desk and snatched Bingley’s letter from where it lay before his cousin could react. “I assume this is the bit of paper that Georgie says you have been reading and rereading for a week or more?”
Knowing it was useless to resist Richard’s ‘assistance’, Darcy leaned back in his seat and stared out the window. “I am master of all that I see, yet I have always felt helpless in anything regarding Elizabeth.”
“I must say, Darcy, I am a bit surprised that you are so quick to surrender. I had a whole series of witticisms prepared to break down your walls.” His cousin dropped into the closest chair. “Pardon me while I find my place in the conversation I had anticipated.” After nodding his head from one side to the other several times, as though imitating a conversation between two people where one wore a decided frown and the other a foolish grin, Richard finally turned toward Darcy with a satisfied expression. “Ah, Anne has come to a decision.”
“And your theatrics were required to pronounce it?” Darcy snorted. “It is a pity the stage is not a legitimate career choice for second sons, Richard. You would have been celebrated in all the best saloons.” He smiled wickedly. “Or perhaps you have just been spending too much time with members of the corps de ballet.”
An uncharacteristic blush covered his cousin’s cheeks. “I am no worse than any other of our set, Darcy.”
“That does not mean much.” Darcy shook his head.
Richard’s brows disappeared beneath the fringe of hair covering his forehead. “Holier than thou already, Darcy? Because your lady is now a widow and will be available in less than a year?” He leaned forward. “Not that long ago, you were a sinner just like us.”
“You misconstrue my meaning, Richard.” Darcy felt his cheeks warm. “I know I have sinned, and I do not place myself above others.”
“But your sin was loving an untouchable woman, where an actress or dancer is little more than a prostitute?” Richard’s lips twitched revealing he was not as angry as his words appeared.
“You are correct.” Darcy bowed his head. “I am no better than any other.”
His cousin pushed out of his seat. “Well, I see that you will not battle me so I will seek my entertainment elsewhere. If you have not received a letter from Anne, you should expect it within a day or two.” He dropped Bingley’s letter upon the desk and made his way to the door. “I will go see Georgie and tell her I have done my best to raise you from your doldrums.” He turned and looked at Darcy appraisingly. “Please make some effort to show her you are well. I will not have our ward lose the bloom of youth for fretting over you.”
The door closed behind his retreating figure and Darcy gathered the unopened letters which awaited his attention. His cousin was correct; there was indeed a letter from Anne. Darcy took a deep breath as he broke the seal, wondering what plan she had concocted. To his surprise, as he unfolded the missive a second smaller letter fell upon his desk. It too was sealed but the direction simply read William. His breath caught in his chest as he realized it must be from Elizabeth and he quickly set Anne’s letter aside and broke the seal.
My Darling,
Knowing you as I do, I am certain that you are besieged with concern for me and the children. Though I must confess to a week of severe melancholy, I will assure you that I am recovering, and we are well. My family has, each in their own way, surprised me. Jane decided it would be best that the children and I remain at Netherfield until ‘I am ready to go to my own home,’ and Papa has forbidden Mama to visit without him. But the most extraordinary has been Mary. My reflective sister who has always quoted the Bible and Forsythe was witness to our encounter upon Oakham Mount all those years ago but, rather than be disgusted, she saw the pain of my life at that time. For years, without me realizing it, she has been my greatest supporter by acting as a shield between me and my mother and, of course, Mr. Collins when he lived.
During my fit of despondency, it was Mary who opened my eyes to the source. It was guilt, my love. Though I love you and count the days until the world will know it, I felt myself unworthy. My sin was a darkness that had filled my heart, driving out any chance of happiness. Mary reminded me of our Lord’s words in the fifteenth chapter of the Gospel according to Luke and I realized that my soul was not forfeit, simply lost. The peace which has since settled over me is a blessing. I long to be in your arms again, my dear William, but I no longer carry the curse of our beginning.
You might wonder why I have written to you through Anne. I knew your cousin would not question my request and I could not ask Charles to support a correspondence between us. I doubt that I shall write again until my mourning has ended, and we can do so directly. Jane is much different than she was, but I will respect her requests. (I suspect she might have seen us together on that last night when the children and I slept in your arms for she has made comments regarding our family and appeared near tears.)
I must conclude, though a farewell will last interminably. I pray you seek the forgiveness and peace which I have found. Our sin was a choice we made together. Our salvation and future happiness must be addressed individually. Know that I love you and think of you every day.
Forever yours,
Elizabeth
A tear struck his hand and, quickly setting the paper aside before it might be ruined, he applied his handkerchief. Bingley’s letter which confirmed the reasons for his concern had kept him from Elizabeth’s missive of hope. Darcy laughed at how foolish he could be at times. Once all moisture had been removed from his face, he took up Anne’s letter to learn more of the plan Richard had mentioned.
Darcy,
I am certain you have now read Elizabeth’s letter so I will be direct. Your assistance is required. Elizabeth will be churched on the 25th of May and my namesake will be Christened that same day. I require your escort to Hertfordshire. I anticipate your arrival on the 20th of May. The Bingleys have invited us to stay at Netherfield Park as I understand that is where Elizabeth and the children are residing. Mother will remain at Rosings, as is her preference whenever I travel. Perhaps Georgiana might join us.
I look forward to your confirmation.
Your Cousin,
Anne
Darcy laughed at the similarities between his cousin’s notes and those he received from her mother. Both women required their way and brooked no opposition. His gaze fell to Elizabeth’s letter and he read it again. She, too, was declaring her terms but in a softer manner.
“You are correct, Elizabeth.” He brought the page to his lips, pressing a kiss against her signature, before folding it and placing it in his breast pocket. “If my repentance is required to secure our happiness, then so be it.”
Richard’s laughter carried from the hallway, and Darcy pushed out of his chair to announce Anne’s plans to his sister and cousin. He would reflect upon the passage Elizabeth had noted and spend time in prayer later. For now, he must assure Georgiana that he was well.
***********
The carriage dipped and swayed as it made the final turn into Rosings. Darcy watched as Georgiana closed her book and placed it in her basket along with a linen cap she planned to personalize for the baby. Her gaze shifted to the open window and she sighed.
“Are you displeased that I have taken you from town earlier than planned?” he asked.
His sister shook her head
. “No. I am no longer impressed with societal affairs as I was last year.”
Darcy bit his lip, but his laugh escaped. “Are you declaring yourself upon the shelf at twenty, my dear?”
“I thought you would understand,” she whispered.
The sad look in her eyes, caused Darcy’s smile to fade. “Understand what, dearest?”
Georgiana shook her head once more. “Though the gatherings are amusing, particularly the theatre, I find the majority of society to be shallow, without purpose or individual thought.” She sighed. “It is tiring being in their presence and being unable to speak my mind.”
“Do you truly feel this way?” Darcy looked at his sister as though he was seeing her for the first time. “I had thought you enjoyed being with others of your age and dancing with young men.”
She rolled her eyes and gazed out the window once more. “There are some I prefer, but on the whole, I find it exhausting.”
“Would you like to retire to Pemberley after we return Anne to Rosings? Forego the remainder of the season?”
Her eyes lit with excitement, but quickly dimmed. “Would it be proper? People might talk.”
“And if they do?” Darcy leaned forward. “Georgie, my priority is your happiness. Would returning home, to Pemberley, make you happy?”
Her lips lifted in a tentative smile, reminiscent of her younger years. “Yes.”
Darcy sat back and smiled broadly. “Then it shall be.” His brow furrowed. “Though I may have to return to town for a day or two to complete some business.”
“Whatever is required, Brother.” Georgiana’s face lit with relief and contentment.
The carriage rocked to a stop and the door was opened. Darcy stepped out and saw his aunt waiting at the top of the stairs. This was highly unusual as Anne normally greeted her guests, while Lady Catherine had always demanded they come to her. Darcy tipped his head in her direction before reaching into the coach to hand his sister out. The siblings climbed the stairs and made their bow and curtsey to their aunt.
“I am pleased you have arrived,” Lady Catherine stated without feeling. “Darcy, I am hoping you will be able to talk sense to my daughter. She is not well and should not take this trip. I am certain Mrs. Collins would be understanding, but Anne is insistent.”
Darcy bowed again, a frown covering his countenance. “Where is Anne?”
“She is in her room, resting.”
“Very well.” Darcy motioned toward the door. “Perhaps Georgiana and I might refresh ourselves and I will speak to Anne this evening.”
A soft huff escaped his aunt before she turned and led them inside. “Kite,” she called as she crossed the entryway.
The butler appeared before them as if by magic.
“See that my nephew and niece are settled, and refreshments are provided. We shall dine at our usual time.” Lady Catherine continued down the hall toward her favourite sitting room without another word.
Kite bowed to her back, then motioned for Darcy and his sister to follow him. They left Georgiana in the room where she always stayed while at Rosings before continuing toward Darcy’s normal suite of rooms.
“Kite,” Darcy called before the butler could make his escape. “A word, if you please.”
The man turned and folded his hands behind his back. “Of course, sir.”
“Has something occurred? Has there been a change in Miss de Bourgh’s health since I was last here?”
Darcy had never seen the man appear so discomposed. Kite shifted ever so slightly from foot to foot and avoided meeting Darcy’s eye.
“Come now. Out with it,” Darcy demanded.
“My mistress has asked that it not be discussed, sir.”
Not wishing to demand the servant disobey orders, Darcy searched for another way to learn what he wished to know until he settled upon a possibility. “Is what my aunt says correct? Is her daughter too ill to travel?”
Kite’s lips twisted as though he considered the correct way to answer without betraying his mistress. “The doctor has not forbidden it, that I am aware, sir.”
“But he has been summonsed?”
“Mr. Bartholomew visits Miss de Bourgh regularly.” He hesitated than added, “Though he seems to come more frequently as of late.”
“Thank you, Mr. Kite.” Darcy nodded, catching a glimpse of relief in the butler’s eyes as he turned to leave.
Once alone, Darcy went to the window and stared out at the gardens. He could hear Nelson moving about in the dressing room and decided a fresh set of clothing and a quick wash might help dispel his unease. Sometime later, he made his way to Georgiana’s room, hoping to enjoy a bit of tea before having to face his aunt once more. As he approached, he heard women’s voices and paused.
“Anne, are you certain?” Georgiana asked.
His cousin’s voice, when she replied, was hoarse and hard to hear. “Yes. I have never seen Hertfordshire and am determined to do so.”
“But is it wise?”
“I am beyond caring about wisdom. I wish only to be with those I love. It has been too long since I have seen Elizabeth and little William.”
“Well, can they not come here?” There was a hint of pleading in Georgiana’s voice.
“That is a grand idea, but it is too soon after the baby was born. Perhaps in the fall …” Anne took a rattling breath, followed by severe coughing which caused Darcy to enter the room without knocking.
“Anne, my word, are you well?” He looked to his sister for direction.
Georgiana was sitting beside their cousin and holding a glass of water as she waited for the coughing to subside. When it did, she helped Anne to drink.
Darcy took the seat closest to his cousin and held her hand. “Forgive me, Anne, but I fear you …”
“Do not say it, Darcy.” Anne looked at him in the imperial manner of her mother. “I am determined to go, and Mr. Bartholomew has agreed that I am capable. It is a reasonable distance and we shall make two stops along the way there and back.” Her gaze was direct and her manner defied contradiction.
“You will not be moved on this?” he asked though he knew the answer.
Anne sat taller and her voice seemed a bit stronger when she replied. “I was there when William was christened, and I will be there for my namesake.”
“Then it is my duty to see you safely there and home.” He bowed his head in acquiescence. “Are we to leave to-morrow morning?”
“Yes. Mr. Bartholomew would prefer we travel during the cooler times of day, so I fear we will be leaving quite early.” For the first time, Anne lowered her head, possibly embarrassed that she must make such demands upon them.
“That is for the best,” Darcy replied as he squeezed her hand. “The horses will prefer travelling during the cooler hours of the day and we will be able to travel farther in less time.”
Anne smiled gratefully at him before rising. “If you will excuse me, I believe I will return to my rooms until dinner.”
Georgiana and Darcy both rose and watched her depart.
“Brother.” Georgiana’s voice was hesitant. “I was unaware that Anne and Mrs. Collins were so close.” She took her seat and poured him a cup of tea.
Darcy accepted it as he sat and debated how to reply. “I believe they spent much time together when Mr. Collins visited with Lady Catherine. They are also both friends with Mrs. Martin. The three are all of a similar age and share interests.”
“Would Mrs. Martin also like to accompany us? We have room to accommodate her.”
It felt as though Georgiana was examining his reaction, though Darcy dismissed it to his own unease of keeping secrets from her. “No, I sincerely doubt it. Her mother is an invalid and depends upon Mrs. Martin completely. I do not believe the lady has left her home for more than a few hours in many years.”
Georgiana frowned. “That is a shame. Now I wish we had thought of it sooner so we could have made arrangements for someone to care for her mother while she travelled with us.”
>
“You are consideration personified, Georgie.” Darcy leaned forward and placed a kiss upon her forehead. “But Anne has already mentioned her intention to invite … her friend here in the fall. I am certain the three ladies will be together then.”
His sister’s frown deepened as she watched him closely. “William, I know there is something you have been keeping from me for some time. Do not fret that I will force you to tell me what it is; I am certain there are things I would prefer not to know regarding your life. However, if you wish to tell me, I would not be averse to listening.” She stared at her teacup. “You are the best man I know and have supported me even when I did not deserve your affection. I would do the same for you, if you would but allow it.”
Darcy set their cups aside and took his sister’s hands in his own until she met his gaze. “There has never been a time in your life when you were undeserving of affection, mine or anyone else’s.” He looked to their hands and swallowed. “There are things that a man does not discuss with his younger sister.” He smiled. “Though I suppose you are no longer a child and I should not continue to treat you as such.”
“That is true, you should not.” Georgiana giggled.
A sudden realization came over him and he held her hands tighter. “Georgie, I do wish to share something with you.” He considered his words carefully and finally met her gaze again. “I am hopeful that much will change in our lives in the next year or two.”
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