Hours later, Xtine laid in her bed, caught between the world of sleep and a hangover working its way through her brain. Her cell phone pinged indicating an email. Eyes glazed, she rolled over and found that the Craigslist fellow had responded. Instead of reading the email, her eyes flickered closed as she joined her prince charming on his gallant steed.
#2: What the Elf?
At a table centered in the middle of the restaurant, Xtine sat, anxiously waiting for her date to arrive. Over the past week, Xtine had found herself looking forward to her email conversations with Sherman. He was sweet, kind, smart, and funny. Everything she wasn’t expecting from someone she’d found on Craigslist.
Though they hadn’t actually spoken to each other aside from email, nor had they shared any kind of photographs, Xtine felt as if she’d known Sherman all her life. Their conversations flowed with ease. No topic was left unexplored. Well, except sex. But neither seemed interested in broaching that subject, which was fine for Xtine. She liked that Sherman wasn’t pushing her in that direction. To her, it proved he was a true gentleman. A rarity, in her experience. Every morning, she opened her eyes, excited to see her phone indicate she had a new message from him. They exchanged emails throughout the day and sometimes long into the night. When the message came through that Sherman wished to meet her, Xtine couldn’t get her thumbs to move fast enough to respond. She’d suggested they meet Saturday night at her favorite restaurant. He would recognize her by the copy of Lord of the Rings she would bring. Their first conversation had been spent discussing the intricacies of the novels and how they both loved the movies, but thought the movies could never compare to the books. After a longer than normal pause between messages, Sherman agreed.
Xtine meticulously planned everything down to her dress and which table they’d share. She wanted the center table so she’d have a clear view of him when he entered. He told her he would be wearing a black suit with a LotR tie bearing the map of Middle Earth. She found it odd that he’d own such a thing, but then again, he had professed to being a geek. Though, through all their conversations, Xtine failed to recognize that side of him.
Nervous energy pulsed through Xtine. Sherman was set to arrive at any moment. Over and over in her mind, she envisioned how this first meeting would take place. In her heart, she knew Sherman would be as handsome as his emails. Their eyes would meet and it would be love at first sight. Sherman would be the prince she’d always longed for.
She adjusted the book on the table and watched the door. A handsome man in a black suit entered the restaurant. Xtine began to wave him over, but quickly noticed he wasn’t wearing a tie. That couldn’t be Sherman. Worried he might’ve gotten lost or delayed, she reached for her cell phone to send him a text. From her peripheral vision, she caught sight of the door opening again. She glanced at the person walking in and she nearly burst into laughter. A tall man, wearing what appeared to be an elf costume and thick, black rimmed glasses, entered the building.
Xtine bit her lip, feeling a little embarrassed for the poor elf. The poor guy. He must be lost.
She stared at the man for another moment, the urge to hide him from his humiliation pulsed through her. It appeared she wasn’t the only person who noticed this man. His costume was rather well made, Xtine observed. If she were to take a guess as to who the man was supposed to be, she would’ve said he was the spitting image of Legolas, complete with bow and dagger─minus the glasses, of course.
While watching the man talk to the hostess, she began to feel another sort of unease. One that indicated she might’ve been stood up. Sherman was late. Really late. But she’d give him a few moments more before she became that girl who blew up a guys phone over a few tardy minutes.
Or maybe not.
Xtine dropped her gaze back down to the phone, ready to send a message, but found she had one instead from Sherman letting her know he was running late and he’d be there shortly. She must have missed the indicator while watching the elf-capades. She placed her phone back on the table just in time to see the hostess point in her direction. The elf nodded and proceeded toward Xtine.
No! It couldn’t be.
“Xtine?” the elf called out to her.
Xtine attempted to pinch herself. This had to be a nightmare. Everyone in the restaurant was staring at them. She slinked down in her seat only for the elf to stop right in front of her. Now, she could hear all the giggles coming in her direction. How humiliating. This had to be some sort of a joke.
“Xtine McCoy?” he asked again, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I am saying your name correctly, am I not? Ex-teen,” he enunciated.
She gave him a slight nod, and he released a sigh of relief. “Okay, great. I’m Dr. Sherman Campbell.”
Bile rose in her throat as she mechanically lifted from her seat to greet him in the world’s most awkward hug. “It’s nice to meet you,” she squeaked.
“You, too. I’m so sorry I’m late.”
Xtine returned to her seat, heat burning through her skin. “It’s okay.”
Sherman sat opposite of her, tossing his long, blonde hair over his shoulder. It made Xtine wonder if it was really his or just a great wig. “No. It’s not. I didn’t mean─”
From behind Sherman, a man wearing a white shirt and black slacks appeared. Xtine could only imagine it to be the restaurant manager. “Sir,” he interrupted Sherman.
Sherman turned around to the newcomer. “Yes?”
“Sir,” the manager leaned down to Sherman and began speaking in a low register, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to take your weapons outside.”
Sherman’s brow furrowed. “My what?”
“Your dagger and bow, sir.” The manager pointed to the items strapped to Sherman’s costume. “We appreciate your business, but your weapons must remain outside.”
Sherman’s face turned a bright shade of fuchsia. “Of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think…” He touched his fingers to his forehead. “I’ll take care of this right away.” Sherman stood up and unstrapped his bow and dagger from his body. He glanced down at Xtine and sighed. “I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”
Xtine wanted to be kind and tell him no, but the embarrassment she felt wouldn’t allow it. “I really am sorry,” he stated. “I’ll be right back if you’ll wait for me.”
“Maybe we should both go,” Xtine suggested. “I’m not that hungry anyway.” What she really wanted was to escape the hundreds of eyes focused on them.
Sherman nodded, his eyes downcast. “I understand.”
Xtine stood from her chair, collected her belongings and followed Sherman out of the restaurant. She could almost hear the roar of laughter as they exited the establishment.
Outside, Sherman stopped and turned to her. “I’m really sorry about this.” He indicated toward his garments, tugging off the wig, and attempting to flatten his wild hair. His short locks suited him better, but didn’t change her opinion of him. “I had every intention of changing before we met, but I got caught in traffic and there was no time.”
“Why are you dressed like that?” Xtine dared to ask.
“I was at a convention all day. This is my cosplay outfit.”
Humiliation simmered in her veins. “Then why’d you agree to meet me today? We could’ve waited for a night when you didn’t already have plans.”
Sherman swayed in place, his long limbs moving ever so slightly. “I honestly thought I’d have enough time to get home and change. I should’ve cancelled when I realized I couldn’t change, but I really wanted to meet you.”
“I wanted to meet you, too,” Xtine admitted.
“How about I go home and change then we meet somewhere for coffee. What do you say?”
Xtine shook her head. “I think I’m gonna head home.”
“I ruined this, didn’t I?”
Xtine forced a smile, while mentally kicking herself for not sticking to her own kind. “You’re a nice guy, Sherman, but I think we’re jus
t too different.”
“That’s what I thought.” He tugged at his tunic. “I really am sorry.” With that, Sherman pivoted on the heel of his boot, his cape flapping in the wind, and left her standing in the middle of the parking lot, alone.
#3: Bleeding Hearts of the World Doesn’t Even Begin Explaining the Insanity
It had been six months since Xtine’s disastrous date with Sherman. She’d gone on a few more dates after that, but no one piqued her interest. They were all the same. Conceited. Self-centered. And interested in one thing. A handsome face does not a knight make.
Though she missed the conversations they shared prior to that night, Xtine desperately tried to forget about Sherman. So it came as a surprise to her when she received an email from him. In it, he begged her to please call him. He wished to ask her a question of a time sensitive nature.
Xtine, sensing his urgency in the tone of his email, went against her gut and called the number he’d included. He answered on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Sherman, it’s Xtine.”
A loud rush of air pushed through the phone. “Oh, thank God. I’m glad you called.”
“Are you all right?”
There was a loud clatter in the background and Sherman mumbled a curse. “Not really.”
“What’s going on?”
“Please hear me out before you say no.”
Alarm bells sounded in Xtine’s head. “Um, okay.”
“My baby sister is getting married this weekend in San Diego.”
“Congratulations,” Xtine replied, fighting back a chuckle at the mental image his announcement conjured in her mind. She envisioned a themed wedding where the bride and groom dressed up as Dumbledore and Gandalf, and their nuptials included a wizarding duel to determine who was the greatest wizard of all time.
“Thanks,” he paused. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to put it all out there.” Xtine braced herself. She had no clue what to expect since they hardly knew one another. One date did not a friendship make. “I was wondering if you might be interested in attending the wedding with me?”
“What?” Xtine screeched. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
Another sigh came from Sherman. “I know it’s last minute and if I wasn’t in a bind I wouldn’t ask.”
“Don’t you have friends...a girlfriend you could ask?”
“Truthfully, no. Look, I’ll be happy to pay you. I’ll give you five grand for the weekend, plus all your travel expenses.”
“Are you out of your mind?” Xtine shrilled.
“Probably, but I told my mother I was bringing my girlfriend and they’re expecting me to show up with someone who looks, well, um, like you.”
“Like me?”
A long, awkward silence hung between them. “My mother knew about our date. She was so excited about it. I never had it in me to tell her what happened.”
“So you lied.”
“No. I just omitted some details.”
“That’s a lie, Sherman.”
“Fine. I didn’t mean it to be a lie. My mother harps on me constantly about finding a nice girl, so I embellished a little about our date. I thought by now she would’ve let it go, but when she asked if you were joining me as my plus one, I panicked.” Yet another moment of silence hung between them. Xtine felt terrible for Sherman. It wasn’t that he was a bad guy, she simply didn’t feel that spark she longed for. They were too different. Though she could really use the money. Plus, he was offering an all-expense paid trip to San Diego. Sure, Sherman had his quirks, but she could make it work. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. “You know what, never mind. I’ll tell my mother the truth. I should never have asked this of you. I’m sorry.”
“You say that a lot, you know.”
“Say what?”
“I’m sorry.” Xtine felt a smile tug at her cheeks.
“I know. I’m sorry.” He grunted in frustration as the words slipped past his lips again. “Call it a force of habit.”
“Well you’re going to have to break the habit if I’m going to pretend to be your girlfriend.”
Silence. Dead silence. Not even the sound of his breathing could be heard.
“Sherman, you still there?”
“Yes,” his voice broke. “You’ll do it?”
“I’ll do it.”
“You sure?”
“I said I’d do it! Now, when do you need me ready by?”
They spent the next hour solidifying their plans. Xtine strived to put his mind at ease as to whether anyone would question if they were a real couple or not. She’d faked love enough times in her life to know exactly how to act. The only difference this time was she would be paid to do it.
#4: A Woman Who Fixes Her Makeup…There Goes Believability
The three hour flight to San Diego wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as Xtine had expected, though Sherman wouldn’t have agreed. The whole time he was sweating bullets, terrified that this scheme they’d concocted wouldn’t work. No one in his family would ever believe a woman like Xtine could actually be intimately involved with him. His brother, yes. Him, absolutely not.
Sherman carried the burden of the middle child. He was socially awkward in comparison to his All-Star older brother and his dainty princess younger sister. All his life he was the brains of the family, and for the most part he wore that title with pride. Except when it came to women. Spencer, Sherman’s brother, had a new supermodel on his arm every week. Spencer was the epitome of a man’s man. Every guy wanted to be him and every woman wanted to date him. Sherman’s parents struggled to understand why he couldn’t find himself a steady girlfriend. It was for that very reason he was drawn to Craigslist in the first place. He’d tried all the major dating sites, from Tinder to eHarmony. Bars weren’t his scene, and the women he met at the fandom conventions only wanted his cosplay character. Never him.
When Xtine responded to his ad, he thought his luck might’ve changed. Xtine was educated, funny, and someone who spoke to his fandom heart. He was humiliated at the outcome of their one and only date. Originally he planned to bring clothes with him, but hated the idea of changing at the convention where he wouldn’t be able to shower. So instead he opted to return home to change. What he hadn’t counted on was a huge accident on the freeway, delaying him nearly three hours.
Upon arriving at the restaurant, he was floored at the beautiful woman waiting for him. Her outward appearance was just as beautiful as her inward appearance. A feeling he held even after her rejection. A woman like Xtine deserved a man who wouldn’t humiliate her on their first date.
Sherman cut his eyes to the gorgeous creature sitting beside him in their shared Uber. He’d forgotten all about telling his mother about Xtine, and bathed in the reprieve of her harping on him about dating until she’d mentioned bringing Xtine to the wedding. Sending Xtine the email was a longshot that somehow paid off.
He twirled his thumbs in his lap, his leg bouncing uncontrollably. Xtine reached over and took him by the hand, causing him to jump. “Breathe, Sherman.”
Sherman exhaled through his nose, his nostrils flaring. He wanted to relax, but how could he when he was about to boldface lie to his entire family?
Xtine leaned in, the warmth of her body pressing against him. “Trust me. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“How do you know?”
“Because…”
He turned an incredulous eye to her. “That’s your answer? Because!”
Xtine smirked and dropped her gaze to their now linked fingers. “Yep.”
She squeezed his hand. Sherman lowered his eyes and smiled. “You’re good at this.”
She shrugged one shoulder, giving him a wink. “I know. Now, how long ‘til we arrive?”
“Five minutes or so.”
“Perfect. That gives me a few minutes to fix my makeup.”
A girl who was worried about fixing her makeup. With him. That solidified his fears. No one would ever believe Xtine belonged to
him. How could they when he couldn’t believe it? This weekend was going to be a disaster.
#5. Whoa! Where the Heck Did That Come From?
The Uber driver pulled up to a house on a hill surrounded by gorgeous, looming trees and a beachfront view. Xtine was immediately drawn in by the serenity of the home.
“You grew up here?”
“I did.” Sherman opened the car door and slid out. Xtine followed him and helped him pull their luggage from the trunk.
“This is fantastic. I didn’t realize…”
“That I came from money?” he joked, or at least pretended to.
“You seem so down to earth,” she admitted. Sherman shut the trunk and the driver drove away.
“Wealth doesn’t equal snobbery, Xtine. That’s simply how pop culture portrays it.”
Xtine dropped her luggage on the ground and turned Sherman by the shoulders to face her. “Okay. First, don’t call me Xtine. To you, I’m X. Everyone who knows me well always calls me X.”
Sherman snarled. “I don’t like that.”
“What?”
He shook his head. “Calling you X. It feels like I’m devaluing who you are. I like you…your name.” His face scrunched up as he fumbled through his words.
That was the first time anyone had ever said such a thing to her. She found his sincerity endearing. “Okay. Xtine it is, then.”
He shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Good.”
“With that decided, you might want to get used to me calling you baby.”
“Baby?” Sherman wrinkled his nose again. “Why would you call me that?”
“Because we’re dating, silly.”
“Oh.”
Xtine chuckled. “You don’t date much, do you?”
“That obvious?”
“A little.” She touched his cheek and stepped in closer to him. “One last thing before we go inside. Kiss me.”
Panic surged inside him. “What?”
My Geeky Valentine Page 2