by Nikita Singh
It wasn’t him. It was a text from Kishan. ‘I don’t want to be your friend. I want you back.’
Maahi deleted it. ‘I’m sorry’, she texted Siddhant and put her phone away, trying to sleep.
18
Maahi woke up late the next morning and grabbed her phone immediately. She didn’t have a text from Siddhant waiting for her, but there was a missed call, which made her feel a little better. She looked at the time and realized she was running late to meet the broker.
Just then, her phone rang. It was Laila. ‘Are you on your way?’ From the background noise, Maahi could tell that Laila was on the road. She threw away the comforter and jumped out of bed.
‘Are we meeting at ten thirty?’ Maahi asked.
‘Yes. Where are you?’
‘Oh shit. I’m so sorry I slept in. I literally just woke up when you called…’
‘Maahi, what the fuck! It’s ten! What if I hadn’t called?’ Laila asked, her frustration evident in her tone.
‘No, I woke up before you called. I was—’
‘Okay, let’s not do this right now. We have to see five, possibly six spaces today. The broker already has appointments. Could you please hurry up?’
‘Yeah, I’m sorry. It’ll take me an hour,’ Maahi said, calculating the time in her head.
Laila snorted. ‘There’s no way you’re getting here in an hour. The second appointment is at eleven … I don’t think you’ll be able to make it to that either. Meet us at the third place. I’ll text you all the addresses.’
‘Okay.’
Maahi ran to the bathroom. She skipped the shower and got dressed quickly. She shoved everything she needed into her bag and ran out of the door. ‘Sarthak!’ she called from the living room. If she took the Metro, it would take her an hour on the train itself, plus walking to and from the station. There was no response. She peeked into his room; he wasn’t there. No one seemed to be home.
‘Fuck,’ she muttered, running out. She locked the door behind her and ran to Vaishali Metro station. The sun was shining bright, but she didn’t go back to get her sunglasses or a scarf. She preferred facing the sun’s wrath compared to Laila’s.
When Maahi got off the Metro, it was 11.18 a.m. She called Laila, but her call went unanswered. The third appointment was at noon, so Maahi walked towards the second one, hoping they would still be there. She pulled up the address on Google Maps and walked hurriedly to it.
‘Oh, there she is,’ Laila said, coming out of the rectangular 10×15 shop space Maahi found herself in front of.
‘Hey, I’m so sorry I’m late,’ Maahi said, walking to them.
‘You made it just in time. We were about to leave. Maahi, this is Rajesh—he’s showing us the spaces,’ Laila said, turning to the thin, dark man in a plaid shirt.
‘Hi.’
‘Hello. Nice to meet you,’ Rajesh said. ‘Do you want to see the space too?’
They went inside. It was a small rectangular space with a garage door at the front. It had basic concrete flooring, and the walls were painted white over the plaster of Paris. Maahi looked at Laila.
‘We have to really envision it. The good thing is that this space faces the streets on two sides. We could install glass walls or large windows on both these sides,’ Laila said, pointing to the front and side walls. ‘We’ll obviously need to do something with the floor.’
‘A carpet might be the easiest solution, I think. Cheapest too,’ Maahi suggested. ‘We can use our theme colours and really liven up the place.’
‘Yeah, that’s what I thought. We could contrast it with the wall … Let’s see. I’m not very keen on the location though. Shall we check out the next spot?’
‘Let’s. Isn’t that one in Shahpurjat?’
‘Yep. It’s the ideal location, right in the middle of boutiques and restaurants. It’ll be a bit more expensive than Meherchand, but I can see it being a viable revenue model.’
They spent the rest of the day looking at spaces. Rajesh was able to fix a few more appointments, which they squeezed into their schedule for the day. They saw eight spaces in total, three of which they shortlisted. The next step would be to create a positives and negatives comparison list and present it to Mr Jindal.
‘We need to move fast on this. All of these spaces are available for immediate possession. They’re not going to stay on the market for long,’ Laila said as they walked to the parking lot.
‘I’ll work on the list tonight. Can you fix a meeting with Harshita? Maybe we can come out here with her and finalize this?’ Maahi suggested.
‘Yeah, I’ll see if she can meet tomorrow,’ Laila said. ‘Which one do you like best?’
‘I like the fourth one we saw—the little one on the ground floor with one door, next to that bridal boutique.’
‘I like that too. What about the one we saw before that?’
‘It’s on the first floor. Kind of out-of-sight. I feel like, with food, it has to be right in people’s faces, for impulse shopping,’ Maahi said. They reached Laila’s car and Laila beeped open the doors.
‘You’re right. It has a little balcony though. We could put a couple of tables there. Let’s see what Harshita slash Mr Jindal thinks,’ Laila said. ‘Which way are you going?’
‘Could you drop me by AIIMS?’
‘Sure. You’re meeting Siddhant?’ They got in the car and Laila backed out of the parking lot.
‘Yeah,’ Maahi said. She texted Siddhant.
Maahi: Are you at work?
Siddhant: Yeah. What’s up?
Maahi: Can I come over to see you for a sec?
Siddhant: Now??
Maahi: In 20 minutes. I’m in Shahpurjat.
Siddhant: Cool.
Maahi: Great. See you soon.
Siddhant: See ya. :)
Maahi and Laila discussed the pros and cons for each of their shortlisted shop spaces on the way and Maahi made notes on her phone, to make her job easier when she created a OneNote presentation for Harshita. Maahi contemplated telling Laila about the incident with Kishan the previous night, but by the time they were done discussing business, they were close to AIIMS. She saved it for another time.
When she reached the hospital, she texted Siddhant.
Maahi: I’m here. Where are you?
Siddhant: Wait where we met last time. Give me 10 mins?
Maahi: Sure. :*
She waited in the lounge where they had met a few weeks ago. A part of her wanted to tell him about what happened with Kishan at CCD. She was deliberating over it when she saw Siddhant walk towards her. He was wearing his white lab coat and a smile. She watched him come to her and felt guiltier about her angry texts from before.
‘Hey,’ Maahi said softly as he greeted her with a hug.
‘Hey there,’ Siddhant said. ‘How are you doing?’
‘I’m fine. How are you?’
‘Meh. Surviving. We’ve had three traumas already today.’
‘Oh, that sucks,’ Maahi said, as he led her by her elbow to a metal seat against the wall.
‘Sure does. But it’s just how it is. Some days are more taxing than others.’ Siddhant shrugged. ‘How’s your day been so far?’
‘It’s been alright. I woke up late—accidentally slept in. God, was Laila mad! We were seeing commercial spaces for the bakery today and I missed the first one, almost missed the second one too.’
‘That doesn’t sound like you,’ Siddhant pointed out, looking at her closely.
‘You mean the me who has OCD?’
‘I know you like saying that, and you do exhibit some of the symptoms, but you don’t actually have that.’
‘Yes, Doctor.’ Maahi grinned sheepishly.
Siddhant laughed. ‘You’re silly.’
Maahi laughed too, and then paused. ‘I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration about other things on you like that.’
‘It’s okay. I know you have a lot on your plate right now.’
‘That do
esn’t justify using you as a punching bag. I do want to see you more, but right now with our crazy schedules, it’s difficult. I need to be an adult about it,’ Maahi said. She pursed her lips.
‘You can use me whatever way you want,’ Siddhant said sincerely, then burst out laughing.
‘Stop! I’m serious. I feel bad.’
‘Well, I guess it’ll be easier if we didn’t have to sneak around … or we lived together.’
‘As in…’ Maahi gulped.
‘If you’re ready to tell your parents about us, why not? I’ve kind of made up my mind to spend my life with you—I see no reason to wait.’ Siddhant touched her face lightly, looking her in the eye. ‘I hate not seeing you for days at a time.’
‘Me too.’ Her voice was meek.
‘But you need more time?’
‘Just a little bit. They’re only now coming on board with the bakery and everything. I don’t want to stretch it too thin,’ Maahi said, and then rushed to explain. ‘I love you, Siddhant. And there’s nothing I want more than to be with you.’
‘I know. I love you too.’ He took her hand between his and kissed it. ‘Whenever you’re ready.’
They talked for another few minutes before Siddhant was called. He hugged her one last time and she apologized again. She was glad she had stopped by to see him. The agitation she’d been feeling ever since meeting Kishan began to dissipate.
She kept Kishan off her mind as much as she could. Things were finally going well for her, and she didn’t want to risk messing any of it up by even thinking about him and what he’d said. She wasn’t mad at him anymore. She might’ve been, to begin with, but she simply stopped caring after a certain point.
A week went by, engrossed in work. They were able to convince Harshita about the space Maahi liked. Laila organized refurbishing and decorating of the space while Maahi worked with the designers on the website, the menu and flyers. They were also working on the design for Cookies + Cupcakes merchandise.
‘Let’s meet early tomorrow morning to get the appliances and equipment for the bakery?’ Laila asked over phone.
‘We’re ready to install appliances?’ Maahi asked.
‘Yeah, we’re done with painting and cleaning. We can get started with setting up the kitchen while the work continues in the front.’
‘Yeah, makes sense.’
‘I really like the layout. Simple front window and a conventional shop-esque counter, kitchen at the back behind the counter. Perfect,’ Laila said.
‘I can’t wait to start baking in that kitchen!’ Maahi said, excitedly.
‘Yes! I’m excited too. We can start testing out the appliances as soon as we get them installed. It’ll also give us a sense of what else we need—in case we missed something in our list.’
They decided to meet the next day to shop for the kitchen. Maahi called Siddhant, but he didn’t pick up. They hadn’t met since the day she had dropped by the hospital to see him. She tried to find time to call him, but either he was really busy, or simply careless, because she didn’t feel like he was putting in the same amount of effort.
It made Maahi think about Kishan, who had done something similar to her in the past. But he was there, asking for another chance, willing to work with her on whatever needed to be done to fix things between them. The thought made her angrier at Siddhant.
Kishan called Maahi every day. She ignored it most times, but she had taken a couple of his calls, in weak moments when she’d needed someone to talk to and Siddhant wasn’t available as usual and Laila was too involved in work. It was easy to talk to him, because she felt like he knew her well enough to understand what she was talking about, where she was coming from.
Later that evening, when Maahi was looking over the new designs their developer sent her, she got a call from Kishan. She took it on impulse, reasoning that she needed a break. In reality, she wanted to talk to him. He asked her to come out to meet him and she agreed. She knew what he wanted from her, and she didn’t want the same thing. She couldn’t explain how he was able to pull her back so easily.
They went for a movie and ended up talking through it. So much had happened in their lives since they were last close—they had a lot to catch up on. Maahi found herself laughing at his jokes and having a good time with him. She was reminded of why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place, five years ago.
Kishan put his hand on her waist as they walked out of the theatre. Maahi reflected on how easy it was for them to fall back into their same comfort zone, pick up where they left off, before she pulled away.
‘I don’t want you to take the Metro home. Let me drive you,’ Kishan offered.
‘No, I’ll be fine taking an—’
‘Please. I’ll feel bad. It’s not far—let me take you.’
‘Okay,’ Maahi relented. She got into the car with him. The radio started playing the old Shah Rukh Khan song ‘Badshah-O-Badshah’. ‘Oh, I love this song!’
‘Me too.’ They sang along as Kishan drove out of the parking lot, both off key and horrible in general.
Maahi laughed when the song ended. ‘How ridiculous! I don’t know why I love it so much.’
‘Because, sometimes, things that appear ridiculous at first are actually fabulous.’ Kishan smirked. He pulled over on the side, one block away from her house. ‘Like us.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘The idea of us, together. It seemed so ridiculous to you when I first proposed it. But now that we’ve had a chance to talk and spend some time together—I’m sure you can’t deny that we have something. It’s still there.’
‘Kishan—’
‘No, hear me out. Don’t be so quick to discard a notion simply because you’re too afraid to consider it,’ Kishan said. ‘You told me that you have a fiancé. That’s why you can’t be with me. But who is this guy? Does he know you the way I do? Is this like an arranged-marriage type of situation? If your parents want you to get married, I’m down for that. You don’t have to marry this stranger.’
‘He’s not a stranger! I love him,’ Maahi said sternly.
‘The same way you loved me?’
Maahi paused. She looked out of the window at the little kids in dirty vests drawing shapes on the side of the roads with sticks. They were parked outside the corner grocery store, which had been there for as long as her memory went. She waved back at the shopkeeper, Manoj uncle, as she said quietly, ‘No. It’s different. But just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s any lesser.’
‘And your parents like him too?’ Kishan asked. She studied his persistent eyes. He was not letting it go.
‘They don’t know about him yet.’
‘Then how is he your fiancé?’
‘Because he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and I said yes!’ Maahi exclaimed. ‘I’ll tell my parents soon.’
Kishan didn’t break eye contact even for a second. Maahi felt something in her chest she hadn’t felt in a long time; something only Kishan could make her feel. ‘Don’t you think it could be that you haven’t told your parents because you’re not sure?’
‘No. Listen, I’ve got to go. Thank you for driving me here.’ Maahi tried to open the door but it was locked.
‘Please don’t run away like that. Just talk to me.’ Kishan put a hand on her cheek and turned her face to him. ‘I know you want this too. If not, why did you come out with me today? Think about it. Think about us and how great we are together. I let you go once and I’m not going to do that again.’
Their faces were close to each other. Maahi felt his warm breath on her lips. She looked away from his eyes, her gaze dropping to his lips. Those lips that she had kissed uncountable times. The ones that had touched every inch of her. A shiver washed over her body like a wave when she remembered.
‘Give me one last chance,’ Kishan whispered, his thumb grazing her cheek.
‘Kishan…’
‘Shh. Don’t say anything right now. You’re only hurting me m
ore.’
His thumb burned her cheek, as she looked into his eyes, breathing softly. Kishan examined her face intently. Through her glazed eyes, Maahi saw tears shine in his. She shook her head slightly.
Kishan leaned in and kissed her lips, holding her face in place with his hands. His lips moved against hers and paused. She caught her breath. He pulled back and looked at her again. ‘Perfect, like always,’ he said, before leaning back into the kiss.
Maahi couldn’t move. She felt his lips on hers, soft and warm and wet and oh so familiar. He smelled the same, tasted the same. He kissed the same too. Maahi was overwhelmed with memories. He was the first guy she kissed. She was overpowered by the flood of memories—each kiss that they’d shared—and found herself incapable of movement.
Kishan pulled away, her face still in his hands. He met her eyes and said, ‘If you’d let me, I would like to wake up to your face every day, for the rest of my life,’ he said.
‘I have to go,’ Maahi breathed.
‘No—’
‘Please,’ she begged.
‘At least tell me you’ll think about it.’
‘Kishan—’
‘Promise me. Please?’
She nodded slowly. Her lower lip quivered.
‘Sweet dreams,’ Kishan said as Maahi got out of his car and shut the door behind her.
She climbed up the stairs with wobbly feet, trying to make sense of what had just happened. She felt transported back a few years. It had been so easy to go back and pretend that all these years they’d been apart never happened and he’d never abandoned her. That man, he held a power over her that she was unable to comprehend. It made no sense. A few phone calls and a couple of meetings—that was all it took for him to pull her all the way back to the beginning.
How could she let this happen? She was in love with Siddhant. This was wrong. How would he feel when he found out? Her jaw hurt from clamping her teeth together to stop herself from breaking down.
Maahi pulled out her phone, desperate to tell someone, share her guilt before it crushed her.
Maahi: I did something bad…
Rohit: Uh-oh. What?
Maahi: Kissed Kishan.
Rohit: Wtf! NO!!!