by Mabie, M.
He leans his shoulder into mine as we round the corner and walk up to the door of the restaurant. The smell of cooked lamb is strong, and it makes my stomach growl.
“Yes. I'm a small-town boy. How about you?”
“We've always lived in a borough somewhere around here. Yonkers when we were young. My brother, Cooper, and I are Shore kids.”
We stand in line at the counter and look at the menu board, waiting to place our lunch orders. Then Ben moves to put his arm around my shoulder. It surprises me, and I look up into his face to see what the sudden contact is about. He nods over my right side and says, “Excuse us.”
I turn my head completely so that I can see what's just out of my peripheral. A man stands there, brooding with his hands full and looking quite put out that I am in his way. “Sorry. Excuse me,” I whisper, and I step closer to Ben.
The guy huffs, “I guess so.” Then he rushes past.
I didn't even notice he was there. It's just another reminder that my world is getting smaller around me.
“Don't worry about that, Tatum. What looks good?” Ben brushes it off like it's no big deal that I plainly didn't see the guy standing right next to me and somehow keeps me moving forward.
After we order and receive our food, we grab a small table on the sidewalk and eat in a somewhat comfortable silence. That is, until he clears his throat and begins talking.
“I was fun talking to you last night.”
“Yeah, it was? You flirted with me.” I smile, teasing him to see what will happen. I'm the girl who pokes wild animals with sticks.
“No, I don't remember that. I think you were flirting with me.” His eyes lift up from where he's just about to take a bite of his gyro. “Do we need to talk about that?”
“I don't think so. Especially not while you’re working. That would be inappropriate.” I can't help it. I feel my face warming.
He smiles. “I'm on my lunch break.”
“A little flirting is only natural, Ben. Last night's phone call between two single... Single?” I question, and he responds silently with a long blink and bowing head. “Single adults was just that. The gentleman was clearly just too attracted to the woman to help himself. Happens all the time.”
“Happens all the time.” His head bobs and he puckers his mouth. His eyes look up in the air as if to confirm that he feels the same way. “All right. I'll buy that. Are you always so honest?”
I think about it. It seems like such an easy question to answer, being that I just totally owned up to my almost wanton behavior from last night. But I don't know what to say. Saying yes feels like a lie.
“I don't know. I suppose it depends on who is asking.”
“So that happens all the time, huh? You casually call men you've just met in the middle of the night.”
“Not just men.” He chokes a laugh through a mouthful. “I'm an equal opportunity conversationalist.” I laugh, too. This is fun. This is easy. He's so fine.
“Clearly. I'm sure your phone rings off the hook.” His features are so much more youthful today.
I all-out giggle now as my cell goes off. We look at each other and both of our mouths fall open in surprise. Perfect timing. I couldn't have scripted it better if I tried.
I reach into the pocket of my trousers and see that it's Winnie calling.
“Excuse me,” I say to Ben as I answer. “Hello?”
“Did you fire him?” I hear the excitement in her voice.
I turn and lower my voice a little so that it isn't obvious that we are talking about Ben as he sits there looking at me. “Of course not. I'll be back in a while. Do you need something?”
“No, Cooper brought me lunch. But we think you should bring your new personal assistant up when you get back so we can meet him.”
Shit. “I'm sure that he is busy. We can arrange that some other time. We have the show to get ready and this afternoon is going to be busy, Gwendolyn.” That's right. She got full first-named.
“It will only take a second, and we are part of your personal life, and you said he was going to be helping you with your maid of honor duties. We'd like to meet him. Ask him.” She puts me on the spot.
I cover up the speaking end of the phone and ask in a not-too-enthusiastic way, “Ben, would you like to come up and meet Cooper, my brother, and my asshole best friend Winnie?”
“I would. We're done here. We can leave now so we don't push back your afternoon.” He puts his thumb in his mouth, licking off the dressing he found there. I almost lose my train of thought.
“We'll be right there.” I hang up on her.
Ben picks up our trash, darts around to the trash can, and returns to my side for our walk back. “You don't want me to meet them or something?”
“No. It isn't that. It's just that it is only your second day. It seems rushed. Don't you think?” I don't know what my problem is. I almost feel like Ben is mine, and if he's exposed to them, he'll be one of them. I'm batshit crazy.
“I don't know. Rushed seems to be working all right for us. Considering how yesterday almost escalated.” Damn, he's cheeky today.
“Fine. Just none of that shit when we get up there. It's my office and my family. Put your damn game face on and wipe off that shit-eating grin.”
“Yes, ma'am.”
As instructed, Ben exudes nothing except polite professionalism. I introduce him to Cynthia as my new personal assistant and walk him past the pit, pointing out the faces that are visible on the walk to Winnie's office.
I knock once and open the door. No doubt awaiting our arrival are Neil, Winnie, Tilly, Wes, and Cooper.
“Jesus.” I stop and get a load of them all hanging out as if it were just a normal day at the office in Winnie's ten-foot-by-ten-foot space. Her office is the smallest one on our floor. She likes it because it’s easier to keep clean.
My head falls to the side of its own accord and my eyes roll as we're met with five wide smiles.
Cooper stands up to walk over to Ben and moves to shake his hand. “Ben, is it? I'm Tater's big brother, Cooper Elliot. It's nice to meet you. I hope she's treating you well.”
Ben's face lights up at the mention of my brother's nickname for me. I meet his gaze and scowl.
“She is. It's nice to meet you, too. Tater has said so many nice things about you. I'm sure she's taking them all back right now.” Everyone laughs. Strangely, this pleases me.
They take turns introducing themselves—all but Neil, whom Ben says is nice to see again. Tilly, Wes, and Neil leave us four in the room and Winnie goes on to say, “Ben, if you're not busy later, we could all go get drinks after wrapping up the show? I'd be fun if you'd join us. We are interested in getting to know you since you'll be working so closely with our girl here.”
I butt in. “Oh, I don't know, guys. I was thinking about skipping that tonight. I'm a little tired.” Immediately, I want to retract that last statement. Winnie and Ben lock eyes and the bitch winks at him, making it obvious that she knows more.
Cooper chimes in. “Oh, just one drink. You'll be home by ten thirty. Suck it up.” He just wants an opportunity to chat Ben up more at the bar.
“Well, if Tatum feels up for it after the show, I'd be happy to join you guys for a drink.”
It's settled. We're all having drinks after the show.
Winnie happily mentions, “Great. You can either meet us at Matty's down the street after the show wraps at about nine or come by the twenty-eighth floor around seven and watch the taping.”
I glance at Ben to see what he decides. I don't expect him to look at me for acceptance, but he does.
“I guess I will see you at seven?” It is more of a question in my general direction, but Winnie and Cooper take it as a confirmation. I just stand there like a freaking dummy.
“Yeah, sounds good. First round is on me,” I say, aware that I've been railroaded by the three of them.
By six, we are going through the dress rehearsal and everything is on. The punch lines hit
their marks, the cast—including Wes and Winnie—is in great spirits, and there is a cool buzz in the atmosphere. It's almost my favorite time—showtime.
I'm perched up on my chair, talking to the guys in the booth with my headset, when I see Ben walk in around a quarter before seven. He's changed his clothes. He looks divine in jeans and a black fitted t-shirt, but he's added a tan jacket since it's a still a bit brisk at night even for almost May.
I don't realize how long I'm staring when Wes saddles up next to me in his chair. He only has two scenes tonight—one in the opener and one towards the end of our hour.
“So what's the deal? He's your personal assistant and you're looking at him like he's dinner. You're going to get into trouble.” Wes's tone is warning, but he's just teasing me like usual.
I snap out of it and turn directly to face him. “Whatever. He's only been my PA for two days.” I admit, “He's just so fucking handsome. I'll get use to it in a month or so. Or a year.”
I've known Wes for years. We even fooled around a few times way back when, but nothing ever came of it and we are much better suited as friends. There isn't any reason to hide my blatant attraction, especially when I've been caught staring so hard.
“Mmm-hmmm. You gonna fuck him?” He's a straight shooter, just like me. He stands in front of me pretending like he's leafing through his script one more time.
“Probably not. That isn't really conducive to an employer-employee relationship. But I can still fantasize about it. You know, now that you've mentioned it, I've always had a fantasy where you and I and some other guy have hot sex in my office. What are you doing later?” I make kissy lips at him.
He coughs through his laugh. “You're such a dude. Just watch out, Tatum. You don't know that guy. He has access to all of your shit. It isn't smart to shit where you eat.” His face turns serious before he parts with, “Think about it.”
Now, there's a thought. Wes has a good point. I don't know much about Ben. I don't even know how he knew about the interview. When Neil called the agency to cancel the rest of the applicants' appointments, they didn't have anyone named Ben even considering the position.
It's possible that he just heard about it from a friend who was though. Neil called a reference on the resume Ben emailed him since he hadn't brought it to the interview. They said positive things about him, so who knows?
Maybe he's a stalker. Like, a real one. I'm both turned on and intrigued by this mysterious employee of mine. Maybe I'll just have to have enough cocktails to get to the bottom of how he knew about the job opening tonight.
The show is smooth like butter. Time runs perfectly. Nobody fucks up, except big Devon, but who cares? It's more fun to watch when the actor is just as affected by the joke. The audience eats it up when they crack just a little.
Everyone says their “great shows” and the crew begins tearing down a few of the bigger sets to make tomorrow morning a little easier on themselves while the cast gets out of wardrobe. I wander over to where Ben is patiently waiting. He gets up as I approach.
“So what did you think? Looks different from back here, huh?” I ask him.
The first time I was behind the camera watching a show taping, it was like seeing behind the curtain at Oz. I know everyone doesn't get their jollies like I do, but I'm always interested to hear what people who are out of the business think of the whole thing.
“You're fun to watch working.” He pockets his hands and shifts towards me a little, rocking on his heels. “You're good at your job.”
“Thanks, but I meant the show. Did you like it? Big Devon is a riot. Well, actually both Devons are, but the fat one gets me every time.”
“Big Devon? Does he know you call him big and fat?” He feigns offense to my rude pet name. “Can't you get into trouble for speaking to him like that?”
“Not as much trouble as he's gonna be in if he doesn't lay off the shit he eats. Seriously, it's their shtick. Big Devon and little Devon. They are best friends and writing partners. It's totally his preference to be big Devon. I've seen pictures of him in high school when he was just tall, average Devon. He got the name after they met in college.”
“Oh, well, all right. They play well off each other. They're hilarious.” Ben scans the set that is already almost vacant. “Are you almost ready to go? Do you want to grab a jacket or something?”
“I don't need one. I'll just forget it at the bar. I have a few there already if I need one when we leave. True story.” We go to Matty's every Thursday night when the show is in season. Even before we were Thursday-night regulars, Winnie and I were there a few times a week since we worked in the same building.
I send a quick text to Cooper saying that I'm heading down the street with Ben and that we'll see them there.
Ben and I talk about the show, and he is interested in all the ins and outs. I promise him that he can come whenever he wants, and he says that he will.
When we get to Matty's, Ben holds the door for me, and as I walk through, he runs his warm hand down my back. He leaves his fingers spread at the top of my hip as he follows me in, and we make our way to the bar. My body naturally goes where he steers me.
The moment is broken when I stiffen at seeing Kurt sitting at the bar where we all normally congregate. This should be interesting.
Ben must sense the change in my posture because he tightens his fingers into me. I remove his hand and quickly pull Ben with it back outside. I nearly trip on the uneven doorstep and Ben steadies me, clutching my elbow.
I say, “Wait a minute.” Because I'm trying to figure out how to play this one out.
“If you're really tired, I can take you home, Tatum.” He thinks that I'm tired and he wants to take me home. Wants to take me home. He wants to... Ahh!
Shoving the impulsive thought of letting him take me home and mount me on the counter, I say, “No, I'm fine. There just someone in there that I know.”
“Right. Everyone from the show is coming. Someone you don't like? What?” He's totally lost, and his brow creases.
“No. My ex-boyfriend, Kurt, is in there. He sometimes meets all of us here after the show and he's here now. But we are broken up.” Fuck. Where in the hell are Winnie and Cooper?
“So what? You've both probably moved on from it. Just say hi and play it off? It's fine.”
“You don't get it. We broke up on Friday. Last Friday. On my birthday.” Finally, recognition spreads across his handsome face that I'm telling him our breakup is still in its infancy.
“Oooh. Well, do you want to stay? Or go somewhere else or something?”
I don't know what to do. Just then, I hear Winnie's laugh coming down the street and I turn all the way around to see if Cooper is with her. He is.
I whisper-scream, “COOOOOOPER!!” and stomp my foot. “Kurt. Is. Here.”
“No fucking way? Well, let’s go in. You can introduce him to Ben.” Cooper smiles and his eyes widen like this is all going to be fascinating. Winnie playfully smacks his arm and gives me a ‘he's your brother’ look. Cooper loves drama more than fourteen-year-old girls apparently.
“Are you serious? This is too messed up. I think I might just go. I don't want it to be awkward. Ahhh... This is going to be a train wreck.” I can't decide. If I stay, it could get uncomfortable. If I go, I might end up fucking my new employee on his second day.
I look at Ben, who is only feeding off of Cooper's reaction, and he smiles like I'm overreacting. That damn smile.
I choose the train wreck.
“Cooper!” Kurt yells as soon as he sees him walk in with Winnie on his arm. “Where's Tate? I wanna to talk to her.” It sounds like Kurt has been saving our seat for a few hours now by the slur in his voice.
“She right here, bud. Are you cool though? We are all here to have a good time. Right?” Cooper sees that this isn't the situation he thought he was walking into and squares his shoulders to make his point clear.
“Yeeeeah, we are all friends here. Me and you are friends. Me and W
innolyn are friends. You and Winnolyn are friends. Everys-bodies friends.”
Cooper looks at Nick, the bartender who is usually working when we come in, with wide eyes and Nick just shakes his head and raises his shoulders in an apology.
Cooper turns to face me and appears to be deciding if leaving would be a better idea.
“Who is that? Is that my friend Tatum? Tay-Tum!! You're my friend, Tatum. See all friends, Coopie.”
As funny as it is, it's not. Cooper seems a little pissed, and Winnie isn't saying anything. She's watching and waiting for the second our other colleagues come in so she can run away from this whole situation.
I can't even look at Ben. I'm embarrassed, but mostly for Kurt. I told them about how he took it and all about our breakfast, but they didn't see it firsthand. They were mostly just witness to his dicky behavior towards the end of our relationship. I need to say something.
“Come here, Kurt.” And I move in to hug him. It will only be more uncomfortable if I pretend it isn't happening, but it is happening and I know best how to handle him. Kurt isn't a raging alcoholic by any stretch of the imagination, but I can tell that he isn't himself. I'm a little worried. “When did you get here? You should have come by the show.”
“I came here earlier. I was going to leave before you got here. I was, Tatum. Then I just wanted to see you. You're so fucking hot right now. You look so good.” His hands wrap around me, and I'm okay with it. It hasn't even been a week since I broke up with him mid-blowjob. I can't really play the ‘I have a physical boundaries’ card.
“Come on. Let's go sit over here for a minute. Then we'll get you a cab. Hmm?” I decide that if he wants to talk to me, I can handle it. What's five minutes with a drunken ex-boyfriend in the broad scheme of things?
Quickly, I sneak a glance at Ben. His eyes are narrowly pinned on Kurt. But I tell myself that he's just my assistant, not my boyfriend.
With my right arm wrapped around Kurt's waist and my left arm straight out as counter balance, I try to wade us through the small crowd that has filled Matty's. He is really plowed. He's not walking that great, and he's sharing more of his weight than I can really manage.