She then glided herself over the top of me and sat on my cock, continuing our rocking motion, digging my cocker deeper and deeper until I saw her face twist with ecstasy. She moaned and writhed and ground down until her pussy sucked at me, tightening around my shaft as she shivered through her orgasm.
“Ah, Sage …” She bit her lip and cried out.
That was all I needed. I grabbed her hips, threw her back over onto her back, making sure to stay firmly planted inside of her, and I let my tensions fly through my body to my cock as I laid my weight on her and pulsed in and out until my balls clenched, my temperature rose, and I exploded. I came so hard, I nearly passed out. What this woman did to me … it was sinister. I rolled off her and watched my cock spew the last of its seed onto my belly. I found it fascinating that it had such a mind of its own. I wanted to stay in her longer, but I felt possessed. I wondered if I stayed seated in her if I’d ever want to leave her body.
Her sweet hand coursed over my chest, and I moaned with delight. She massaged my muscles and eased my tension. I still felt rock hard and agitated, but I realized it was probably just the drugs. I focused on breathing and her warm body next to mine.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” she whispered in my ear, coming down off her own high.
“Yeah, I know,” was all I could say before she fell asleep by my side.
I stayed up staring at the wall for a while before the drugs cooled in my system, and I was finally able to sleep.
Chapter 16
Melody
Sage wasn’t himself that night. Our sex was rough and soul-less. While it felt amazing to be taken so roughly, there was only one moment when I actually felt connected to him emotionally; the rest of the time, I could have been anyone. I don’t know why I stayed, I shouldn’t have. It was a weakness on my part. I was grasping for Sage, the man I was falling in love with. This man high on drugs throwing a rager wasn’t someone I knew. I was hoping I could find him again, but I should have just gone home. I would have been better off if I had.
When I woke up next to him that morning, I looked at the clock. It was almost eleven. Even though we were up most of the night, and we were technically “rock stars,” it felt weird to sleep so late. I was usually up early writing songs. I didn’t have a day job; I wrote songs for things, played gigs here and there, and lived off of a trust my grandparents had set up. It wasn’t as much money as Sage had by any stretch, but it was enough monthly income to live on if I watched my spending.
Even though I didn’t have to work for a living every day, I liked to be up writing and working on my career because I was headed for greatness … at least I hoped I was.
I looked at Sage and remembered when I was sleeping so soundly after my successful gig, he made me breakfast. I thought if I could make him breakfast, sober him up, and heal his wild ways, he could be the man I dreamed he was. I set out to do the same thing he had done for me and went into the kitchen to make him breakfast.
When I walked into the living room I was sickened. It was truly a disgusting mess. There were beer bottles and empty liquor bottles and leftover food everywhere. It was going to take a monumental effort to clean all of it up. I closed my eyes for a moment and didn’t think about it as I walked to the kitchen and found it equally, if not more disgusting. I hoped there wasn’t a mess in the other rooms, but as I did a tour of the house I found rumpled sheets in guest rooms littered with bottles and discarded food plates. In the music room were more liquor and beer bottles and a table laid out with the remnants of quite a drug binge. Coke powder and straws were all over the place as well as some used needles. My stomach churned at the sight of it all.
I didn’t even know where to begin. I couldn’t cook in the kitchen warzone, so I started there. I put on a pair of latex gloves I found under the sink and got to it. First, I collected dirty plates and glasses and piled them into the dishwasher. Then I got out some garbage bags and began my march around the house getting all the trash. It was a huge undertaking, but after working at it for an hour, I’d managed to make a dent.
I peeked in on Sage, and he was still fast asleep like a baby. I decided to let him sleep and just finish the job. I was starving, so I found odds and ends in the fridge and made myself a sandwich. I then hopped back to the job and had the whole loft cleaned three hours later. I’d scrubbed tables of sticky nasty stuff, picked up trash, mopped, swept, washed, and rearranged. In doing this laborious act of love, I was struck by how much drinking and drugs had taken place the night before.
I knew musicians, and I understood they needed to get lost at times, but if this was the real Sage coming through, I had to know. I’d dated drug addicts before, and Sage was starting to seem like he was someone who did more than a recreational amount of drugs. I liked to smoke weed and drink a nice Cabernet every once in a while, but the hardcore stuff wasn’t for me, neither was a druggie’s life. As much as I didn’t want to seem like a stick in the mud, I had to know if this was Sage’s usual thing. He was able to pull a party together late in the day without any notice and it became a drug and booze bash. It didn’t look like much of a fun way to honor your music.
By five o’clock in the evening, he still hadn’t woken up. I started to worry about him, so I made some toast, eggs, and bacon thinking a simple breakfast for dinner might perk him up. I assumed we probably didn’t fall asleep until six in the morning, so sleeping all day really wasn’t a problem, but I worried just the same.
“Hey, Sleepyhead,” I whispered in his ear as I set the tray on the table next to him. “The day’s almost gone. I’m just checking to see if you made it through the night.” I smiled when I saw him reluctantly open his eyes.
“What time is it?” He seemed so small and boyish with his face full of scruff and his rumpled hair all over the place.
“It’s about five o’clock. I thought you might want to get up before dark or you might turn into a vampire. I made breakfast … or dinner, whatever.”
He ran his fingers through his hair and stretched. “Wow … five. Okay.” He shook his head. “Yeah, thanks.” He looked at the food without much interest. “I really have to piss.” He got out of bed and stumbled toward the bathroom.
I had awoken with him in this bed several times, and he had never seemed so out of it. When he came back, he sat on the bed still looking out of sorts.
“I also cleaned the house for you. Boy, your friends sure know how to mess up a place,” I teased but hoped he got my veiled meaning.
“Thanks, babe,” he said, still groggy.
Wow, ‘thanks babe’ was all I was going to get for all of my hard labor. That alone was enough for me to get angry. He hadn’t even seen the work I’d done, nor did he want to see it; he just laid back in bed, left his food untouched and grabbed my arm pulling me toward him as he dug his boner out of his pants.
“Could you give me a little BJ action? I need to feel your mouth on me …” He was trying to sound sexy but, instead, he seemed lewd and commanding.
I loved the taste of his cock, and I didn’t mind taking his load in my mouth and doing things I normally wouldn’t because I was starting to really love him, but the man yanking on his cock asking for a blow job was not the man I was head over heels for. The man demanding oral attention … was an asshole.
“Hey Sage, it’s late. I’m sure you and your right hand can get the same thing done my mouth could. I want to go home. I have stuff to do, and I need to get back to my songwriting.” I pulled my arm out of his grip and stood up.
“Hey, don’t leave me this way,” he quoted an old seventies song.
“Sorry, but if I have sex with you right now in your condition, I’d lose all respect for myself. I need to leave ... and that’s what I’m going to do.” I hope he was coherent enough to hear the meaning in my words.
“Why? Why not stay here and chill, give me a BJ and I’ll return the favor, just like we do.” He was still angling for sex.
“Did you snort coke and shoot stuff last night?” I had to
know if he was the one doing all the drugs I found.
“No, babe, that’s not my thing.”
I looked at his bloodshot eyes and had a hard time believing his words. His breath still smelled like whiskey and weed. “You sure? I mean I’d rather you be honest. If you had a bender, fine, you deserve to party and have fun. I just want to know if this is coked-out Sage or just … I don’t know, a tired guy who tied one on too hard last night.”
“I’m tired, with a stiffy that wants some love.” He wiggled his cock, and I almost laughed, he was being that ridiculous.
“They always say, you can’t love someone else unless you love yourself. Maybe you should practice,” I said as I turned to leave. I grabbed my backpack and headed for the front door.
He forced himself out of bed, ran out behind me naked with his cock bouncing, but there wasn’t much he could do to stop me.
“Come on, baby, don’t be like this,” he pleaded, but I couldn’t be swayed, something had changed, and I needed to figure out what my next steps were going to be.
“I’ll call you later,” I said, holding back the tears.
I opened the Uber app and ordered a car to take me home as I rode the elevator down. I was almost certain he was going to follow me, but as I waited on the street corner in the middle of downtown Los Angeles, he never showed up. So, I got in the car and left. I felt sad, shattered, and actually relieved. I was leaving, that was healthy; I was making a good choice … and I was losing him, and that felt like shit.
He wasn’t himself and had probably done a lot more drugs than I could imagine last night. I didn’t want to judge him. For the two weeks, we’d been exclusive in each other’s lives he hadn’t done anything but a few hard cocktails, weed, and wine. Perhaps this was the real Sage finally leaking through the facade of the perfect man he was trying to present himself as.
I arrived home and was so glad to see Charlynn sitting there on her computer.
“Ah, my long lost roommate has returned.” She got up and gave me a great big hug.
I was so confused and exhausted; all I did was let her hold me.
“Are you okay? Did you come here yesterday? Someone was in the house, and I hope it was you.” She seemed worried, but not that worried; she was almost positive it was me who had come home.
I lived there full-time, and Reyna still had a set of keys. I just hadn’t been there in a while because I was spending so much time with Sage.
“I came home for a bit yesterday. I guess I’m okay, but I’m mostly not okay … I think.” I was usually more direct and forthcoming with my feelings, but they were all over my head, and I couldn’t wrangle them together enough to tell her how I really felt.
“Okay, well something is definitely going on. What did Sage do?” She directed me to the couch, and I sat with her.
“He didn’t do anything, I guess, I’m not sure.” Ugh … these feelings were so prickly and awful I hated them.
“I’m going to make us some tea, and we’ll talk about it,” she said leaving me there to stew while she brewed us some tea. Chamomile with honey sounded like just the thing I needed at that moment … and food, I needed food.
“Can we order Chinese or something?” I begged in a weak, exasperated voice. “My treat.”
“Oh, delivery sounds great. What about Indian this time? I could go for some Aloo gobi.”
Indian food did sound delicious. “Great, let’s order from The Taj Palace. I love that place,” I offered.
“Done.” Charlynn grabbed the phone and placed our order. “Okay, so food is ordered, tea is made … tell me what’s going on.”
I told Charlynn about the song, the party, and the cleanup, the drugs and how Sage was mostly not there this morning.
“Last night, too, he just … the sex was so hard, and it was like I didn’t exist; it was just my body. He’s been a crazy guy before in bed, but this time it just felt like … I don’t know … like he was just humping a hole.” I hated to admit it, but that’s what had hurt the most. I could have been anyone to him as if his new toy was no longer new and he was looking for something else to hold his attention.
“Well, your relationship is still sort of in the budding stages and yet you two have known each other for a long time. So, you know what you’re getting into if you pursue this. I would say either fight for him or back away. This might just be a fluke, an overindulgence for a special moment in his life,” she rationalized.
“Yeah, but if that’s how he rolls, I’m not sure I want that. I mean what if we have a baby … he snorts cocaine and parties till he drops? We get married, buy a house, kindergarten graduation, a record deal, I can’t have him throwing a raging bash for every cool thing that happens in his life.” I know I was being overdramatic, but I was so twisted up inside, I didn’t know where to go with any of this.
“You’re gonna have to get him to be honest with you, and if you believe him, then you’ll have to trust him. Relationships are about communication and trust. Just be honest about your feelings and your worries and listen to what he has to say. Ask him for the truth. If he tells you he likes to party and this is just his thing … you’re going to have to figure out if that’s what you want in your life.”
“I guess you’re right. It’s not what I want, that’s for sure. I mean, I just …” I sighed.
“I know. And you should get what you deserve. Just before you jump to conclusions, give him time. Sage is a playboy. You knew that going in. He may never get over that part of his personality. You might just be a notch on his bedpost one day and that’s the way it will be for every woman he meets. If you can’t land him, I doubt anyone else will. You’ve been going pretty hot and heavy these past weeks, and I think you’re in too deep to see clearly. Just let this sit for a while and see how you feel later. I know it’s intense with Sage being Sinclair’s brother, so just chill and focus on you for a while.” She handed me the tea, and about thirty minutes later, the food arrived.
We ate, watched a new movie on Hulu, and just hung out like we used to. It felt good to feel normal again. While this was happening he called twenty-seven times, and I let them all just go to voicemail. I was in hiding, and it was wonderful just to be tucked away for a while to gather myself back together again.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to end it with Sage; I just had to get a better point of view, so I spent the time with one of my two best friends and let the power of womanhood and the bonds we had with each other heal my indecisiveness.
Chapter 17
Sage
Fuck … I’d been calling Melody all day. My insides were completely in knots. I was so hungover and still probably a little high when I woke up in the early evening. I hadn’t realized she was gone until I looked around the loft, which was spotless, and realized I’d fallen asleep naked on the couch. I woke up freezing and starving, and I found a plate of stale eggs and toast she’d made me in the kitchen. Everything, the entire nightmarish mess left from the night before had been scrubbed and swept away.
Now Melody wouldn’t answer her phone, and if I were her, I wouldn’t either. I thought about going over to her apartment, but I could bet Charlynn was there ready to butcher me with an ax. Charlynn scared the shit out of me. Especially if Melody told Charlynn how crazy I’d been last night, there was no way I was ready to face the two of them, but I missed Melody. I also felt like crap. I had done a ton of drugs the night before, some of this, a little of that, and too much whiskey. I’d already puked once, and I was feeling rather leathery and dehydrated.
I had lied to Melody and told her I hadn’t done drugs, but in truth, I had done so much everything inside ached. She wasn’t judging necessarily, but I could tell she didn’t like it. I hated lying to her, but damn it, it was my life. I didn’t need to be held accountable to her for anything. I hated that I felt like I did have to be responsible. It was this rage that got me up and moving. I fixed myself a plate of pasta, all I really knew how to cook other than toaster waffles and eggs, and I
scarfed it down with some Pinot Noir I had left over.
Somewhere in the far recesses of my mind, I did want to be held accountable to someone. I wanted to be a loving, responsible man for Melody, but I wasn’t ready for that, and I wondered if I ever would. I knew how to handle drugs, and I should be allowed to dabble when I wanted to. I was still very single, since Melody and I hadn’t declared anything officially between us, and she probably had just left me anyway.
I knew how she felt when she barged in on the party the night before, thinking I was hurt or dead. I sort of feared she’d met the same fate, but she had people. I’m sure she was safe with her girlfriends. Unlike me, she wouldn’t be engaging in anything risky, only getting the support from people who most likely hated me by now. I know it was a long shot to go from love to hate, but I had a feeling Melody was distancing herself from me, which usually meant the beginning of the end.
I needed to get my mind off Melody who still hadn’t answered any of my calls or texts. I was about to lament ever getting into this mess, but this mess had been really amazing, so I told my brain to shut up and drink. I decided I needed to sow some of my wild oats, perhaps then I’d knock some sense into my own head.
I called Tony, and he was in much the same state I was … we both needed a jump start so we hit the town together. Roger and Alan, our two other bandmates were too hungover and lifeless to be revived for the day, so Tony and I went to Rick’s, our favorite downtown bar. The next day we were going to debut Ever After at Zebulon, an exclusive live music venue. Sinclair knew the owners. We gave them an exclusive premiere. We’d film it and put it on our YouTube channel and hope that would start the buzz we needed. Perhaps this was our ticket out of YouTube and into the real world. I was excited and ready to chase the hair of the dog with another night out.
“Oh, the Mojitos here are really good, or maybe a Bermuda Triangle. I’m kind of in for something lighter.” Tony was vacillating on his beverage of choice for the night.
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