Whatever that was, I realised it was someone I didn’t like very much.
JANIE HUNG OUT of the car window, waving to me like a lunatic as I heaved my bag down the stone steps. “Come on!” she shouted. “What the hell have you been doing?”
“I had to wee, Janie. I’d never get there in one piece otherwise.”
“Shit! You’re in your twenties, not your bloody sixties.”
I glared at her as I threw my bag into David’s car boot and slid into the backseat with her and a girl I presumed to be Beth. “You just wait until you’ve had kids and then tell me your bladder still loves you!”
I froze. Janie stilled and Bray turned to stare at me from the front passenger seat. “You have kids?” Janie and Bray both asked together.
I winced and coughed to clear my throat. “I did. He… he uhh, died.”
The atmosphere plummeted and the icy chill of sympathy swirled around me. This was the very reason I hated people knowing. Ignoring them and desperate for a subject change, I looked around Janie and smiled at Beth. “Hey.” I stuck my hand out. “Alice Bird.”
She smiled back, but for some strange reason, I could sense an instant dislike from her. Her eyes were cold and her hand shake was stiff. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Alice.”
“All good I hope?” I laughed to try and ease the tension.
She just shrugged and turned to look out of the window.
Right. Okay then.
Janie slapped at Beth’s arm playfully. “Behave.” Then turning to me she rolled her eyes. “Of course all nice.”
“Then you don’t know me well enough yet,” I teased.
“That right there is why we love you,” Bray commented from the front passenger seat. “Your sarcasm.”
“Who said it was sarcasm?” I winked as David pulled away from the house. Then, leaning towards Bray, I handed him Carter’s phone. “Could you give this to Carter for me please? He left it at mine and I haven’t seen him yet. I meant to ask you the other day but it slipped my mind.”
“Ahh.” Bray nodded. “I wondered why I couldn’t get hold of him.”
I frowned, looking at the back of his head. “He hasn’t been in the garage?”
He turned to look at me over his shoulder. “Came in one day last week. Dunno what happened but he was talking to someone out front then came in and told me he was taking a few days off.”
“Strange,” I muttered. I also noticed that he hadn’t been on the beach for the last few nights. “Has anyone seen him?”
I noticed Beth staring at me and I shifted uncomfortably when she said, “He was at mine last night. I’ll give it to him if you’re not going to be seeing him.”
Something inside me tensed. I didn’t like how it felt and I scolded myself for it. Carter couldn’t have been clearer about what had happened between us and I knew I should have let it go, put it down to a one night stand, but I couldn’t. He was hurting as much as I was, and stupidly I had hoped that our joined grief might have connected us in more ways than just sex.
“Oh aye?” Bray chuckled. “And dare I ask what he was doing at yours?”
“You dirty bitch,” Janie teased and gave Beth another slap.
Beth gave me a smug smile and I rolled my eyes. It was obvious she thought I was competition. If I’d known her better I would have told her good luck, but I didn’t, and it angered me slightly that she had already made her mind up about me. I did wonder how she was aware of mine and Carter’s relationship though. I knew without a doubt she did, and that was why she was already brushing me aside.
“And why do you have Carter’s phone, Alice Bird?” Janie’s eyes were probing, accusation thick in her gaze.
Childishly, I grinned inwardly at Beth’s body tensing in expectation.
“Because he left it at mine.”
“And what was he doing at yours?”
I gave her a knowing wink. She gasped and squealed, making us all jump. “You dark horse! How long have you and Carter being banging?”
I stared at her. Bray just laughed. “Always subtle, Janie!”
“We’re not ‘banging’,” I laughed. For some reason I didn’t feel right about discussing our night together so I shook my head and told her a half-truth. “I got a leak. He came to fix it for me. I think the phone fell out of his pocket.”
Janie narrowed her eyes on me. I could feel David’s stare through the mirror but I didn’t look at him. “Bullshit.” Janie nudged me. “There’s more to it than that. He bought you a puppy for Christ’s sake.”
“He bought me a puppy so we must be sleeping together?” I quirked an eyebrow at her. “That’s the worst excuse I’ve ever heard. We’re just friends.”
I frowned when I heard a slight huff come from Beth but the others didn’t seem to hear it.
The banter continued until we pulled up into the hotel car park. David and Bray lugged all the cases inside as Janie, Beth and I checked us all in. I was silently glad that Janie had booked us separate rooms. I was always a sickly drunk, and there was nothing worse than having a roomie peer over your shoulder and rubbing your back, thinking they were helping you. I wasn’t ungrateful for the support but I was embarrassed when I puked. My moans were always louder than my puking and it was shameful. I also tended to cry which I wasn’t too keen on people knowing either.
My room was basic but clean which was okay with me. I was only there for the bed, not to lounge around in. The shower was hot, and within an hour of checking in I was already perched on a stool in the bar with a Guinness, waiting for my friends.
“Someone’s eager.” Bray laughed as he slid onto the adjacent seat.
I grinned at him and slid out my purse. “First one’s on me.”
“Ohhh.” He grinned at the barman. “In that case I’ll have a double Jack and Coke.”
“Cheeky sod.”
I laughed as I passed the barman – Cooper, according to the tiny embroided name tag on his t-shirt pocket - a twenty. David came to sit on the other side of Bray and I told Cooper to take his drink out of the money I’d given him.
“Cheers,” they both said as they held up their drinks.
“To a fun night out,” Janie butted in as she leaned against the bar with Beth by her side.
“Oh God, I love your dress,” I said as my eyes skimmed over Janie’s amazing figure. She wore a tight vivid blue dress, the colour bringing out the blue of her eyes.
She grinned and stuck out her boobs as I paid for her and Beth’s drinks. “Discount shop in Truro. A fiver!”
“Bloody hell, you need to take me shopping! I’m shit at finding bargains. Especially ones that look that good. Your boobs look amazing.”
She scoffed. “They should. Four grand these cost me.”
“Eh?” My mouth fell open as my eyes landed on her chest. “You’ve had a boob job?”
She nodded and grabbed my hands, placing them firmly on her breasts. “You’d never tell. Feel how real they feel.”
I was impressed, nodding my head as I squeezed them tighter. “Wow.”
Bray groaned beside us. “Is it me or is it getting a bit hot in here?” He coughed and pulled at his shirt collar.
“You remember when we went shopping in New York, Janie?” Beth said before she looked at me. “You should come with us next time.” She clicked her fingers and pouted. “Unfortunately though, it’s probably out of your price range. But we’ll definitely take you to Truro. There are some really good discount shops there.”
I wasn’t sure if she was saying I was cheap. David scowled at her but the others seemed to take her with a pinch of salt, so I ignored her and pulled at my dress self-consciously. It had been a tenner around five years ago, but I loved how it wrapped around my body snuggly, and the deep green calmed the fiery colour of my hair. I thought I looked pretty good anyway.
“Ready, ladies?” Bray asked as he scooted off the stool.
We all downed our drinks and nodded. “Let’s get this party started!” Janie declar
ed as she fist pumped the air.
I had a feeling it was going to be an adventurous night.
By midnight we’d found a club that played good music, and the price of beer was decent enough. We found a booth for the men to settle in while Janie and I danced, and Beth went on a manhunt.
“Ignore Beth,” Janie shouted into my ear against the throb of the music. It was the first time we’d been alone and I had a feeling she’d been slowly becoming aware of Beth’s digs at me. “I think she knows what went off between you and Carter.”
I leaned back and frowned at her. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, come off it, Alice. I know you slept with him.”
The blush on my face confirmed her beliefs.
“Beth seems aware of it too,” she added with a grimace.
“But why is that a problem?”
“She’s had a crush on Carter for years. But she can never get anywhere near him.”
“But according to her they were together last night,” I argued, the pang in my gut back at the thought of her and Carter spending the night together.
Janie shook her head slowly. “She wishes. Carter hasn’t been near anyone since Liz died. He’s been completely off the radar for anyone, other than as friends.” She leaned closer. “There’s rumours that Beth even came on to him when Elizabeth was out one night. Carter walked in from work and Beth was sat on his sofa, naked, with one of his ties around her neck, and without a hint of embarrassment.”
I gawped at her. “Why would she do that if Elizabeth was her friend too?”
Abba’s Dancing Queen came on and the dancers whooped in delight. Even Janie grinned and grabbed at my hips, turning me around so she could grind against me to the music.
“Beth is Beth. I can’t tell you whether Carter reciprocated or not, ‘cos, like I said, it’s just rumours but there’s this atmosphere between them now, and not a good atmosphere. So I reckon he turned her down. Then, here you come and all of a sudden he’s jumping into bed with you, after years of her trying and getting nowhere.”
I felt bad – sort of. Well, I would have if she had been nice to me. Instead I just nodded and focussed on a couple dancing in front of me. Janie went quiet as we lost ourselves to the music.
I’d been regretting telling her I would come but, apart from Beth, it had turned out to be a good night. A couple of men had flirted with me, giving me a confidence I had lost months ago. Bray and David had been protective but kept their distance. I liked that they were close enough to watch out for us but not enough to ruin our fun. It felt like taking your brother out with you; protective yet considerate. I had, however, noticed Bray’s eyes on Janie most of the night.
My eyes slid to our booth and I smiled when, once again, Bray was watching Janie behind me. Noticing me looking, he stood up and walked over to us. “Mind if I take her off your hands for a little while?”
I grinned at him and moved away from Janie. “Be my guest.”
He gave me a wink and just as I made to move off the dancefloor, hands gripped my hips and a mouth rested on my shoulder by my ear. “Stay and dance.”
I peered back and smiled at a man. He was good-looking enough so I let myself go and danced with him. The music thrummed in my ears and the alcohol allowed me to loosen up enough to sway with his rhythm behind me. I could feel his groin press into the small of my back and I paused. The last thing I wanted was random sex, and non-verbally telling my dance partner that, I nudged myself away from his expanding crotch.
His hands gripped me further and pulled me back again. I looked over my shoulder and mouthed ‘no’.
He laughed and grabbed me tighter, angering me when he forced my backside against his erection. He was ignoring me and I hated that. If he couldn’t respect my wishes then he didn’t deserve my attention at all.
I pulled away properly, wriggling out of his grasp. “Sorry, wrong girl,” I said as I made to move away.
His hand snatched at my wrist and he hauled me back against his body. I placed my hands on his chest to stop him from stepping into me again. “I said no.”
“Your tight ass rubbing my cock wasn’t saying no, princess.”
I pulled away from him but he wasn’t letting me go anywhere. His hold was firm and painful, and I pulled at my arm to try and free myself. “Will you let me go, please?”
His eyes were glazed over and hatred suddenly seeped into them as he looked at me. “You shouldn’t tease, bitch. It’s not nice.” Then he pushed me hard. I fell backwards, my arse hitting the dancefloor with a heavy thud and triggering a pain to ricochet up my spine.
It all happened so fast that I couldn’t make sense of it. Carter, coming from nowhere, was on him within seconds. His fist pounded into his face and blood sprayed everywhere as I tried to get to my feet.
“You fucking cunt!” Carter hissed as he laid another blow to the man’s face.
“Carter!” I yelled. “Stop!”
He didn’t appear to hear me. His barrage of hits grew worse, each sickening crunch forcing an explosion of panic through me. Bray and David grabbed at both of his arms and, thankfully, pulled him off.
I didn’t know who to look at first; Carter or the guy now laid on the floor with his hands covering his face in an attempt to stop the blood flowing. Both were in as much of a mess as the other. Carter swayed between Bray and David, his eyes hooded and unfocused as he seemed to hunt for me.
I walked towards him, my stomach twisting with anguish. “Are you drunk?”
On hearing my voice he looked at me with so much pain on his face that my heart faltered and crashed against my ribs.
“I’m so sorry. So sorry, Alice,” he whispered.
My lungs cried out in sympathy with the amount of agony that looked back at me through his eyes and I couldn’t seem to draw breath. His sadness consumed me and I reached out, cupping his face softly as I wiped a tear away from under his eye with my thumb. “It’s okay. It’s alright, Carter.”
He shook his head firmly, the action causing him to stumble in Bray and David’s fierce grip. “No, no. I hurt you. I’m a dick, and I hurt you.”
I stiffened at his declaration. I had thought he was apologising for his drunkenness yet the remorse in his eyes was compelling, grounding.
“I know, and it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”
He nodded, another tear drifting down his flushed cheeks.
“We need to get him out of here,” I said to Bray and David, glancing at the guy still rolling about on the floor as if he’d lost his head.
They both nodded and hurried after me as I went out front to hail a taxi. “I’ll take him back to the hotel. Try and sort the guy out. I have money,” I told them. “See how much his silence is and get his address.”
David stared at me in shock but Bray nodded. “Okay. You sure you’ll be okay with him. He can get pretty aggressive when he’s drunk.”
I laughed, nodding. “So can I.”
Bray chuckled as he and David pushed Carter into the back of the cab. “Why does that not surprise me?”
I winked at him and pulled the door closed. Leaning forward I gave the cab driver the hotel address and as he pulled away I froze when my eyes caught a movement. Straining to look out of the steamy side window, quickly wiping at the glass with my hand, I saw a dark figure move into the shadows of the alley by the side of the club. It was a short, wide silhouette and my heart stilled. Craning my neck, I strived to see out of the back window but the figure moved farther back. A cold trickle ran through my bones and I sank down into the seat.
I’d recognise that figure anywhere. There weren’t many five foot four stocky men about, especially not in Cornwall.
The rampant beat of my heart echoed eerily in my ears and my eyes started to sting as Carter mumbled something incomprehensible where he lay across my lap.
Shaking my head and stroking my fingers through Carter’s hair to try and soothe his moans, I told myself I was being stupid, that I’d had too muc
h to drink.
Niall wouldn’t find me, not here. And especially not in a backstreet club in the middle of Newquay.
“Alice,” Carter groaned, distracting me from my thoughts.
“Nearly there. Shh.”
He nodded vaguely. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” I whispered. “Me too.”
And I was, because I’d dragged him into my life. I’d pushed and he wasn’t ready. I looked down at him and wondered if he’d ever be ready to move on. The answer lay heavy in my chest and I sighed. It wasn’t so much moving on, it was stopping yourself from trying to claw your way back that we both had to figure out.
CARTER LAUGHED LOUDLY when I finally managed to drag him up to my room and he fell on top of my bed, rolling on to his back as his arms flung into the air. “Alice, sweet Alice!”
I rolled my eyes and blew out a breath when I saw the state of him under the bright ceiling light in the room. Vomit covered his t-shirt, the mass of it crusty and obviously days old. His jeans resembled a night out at a mud-wrestling charity auction, and the thick growth on his chin appeared to have a serving of yesterday’s supper hidden inside.
“Jesus Christ!” I cursed under my breath as I went to pre-heat the shower. Steam filled the small bathroom and I took a few seconds to compose myself before I walked back into the room.
Carter was now snoring loudly, his face possessed by such peace that I regretted waking him to bathe. He mumbled something as I yanked his t-shirt over his head. His firm stomach muscles rippled deliciously as I scrambled with the buckle of his belt and I allowed my fingers to linger a little longer so I could appreciate the display.
“Alice,” he whispered with a soft sigh, the sound activating a strong thud of heat between my legs.
This was going to be harder than I thought.
“Help me, Carter,” I urged as I pulled at his jeans to slip them down his legs. Thankfully he lifted his hips for me and I took the opportunity to slide down his briefs at the same time, killing two birds with one stone. I forced my eyes upwards to his face as I pulled one of his arms around my shoulder and scrambled to help him up with an arm around his waist.
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