I pumped my arms and legs harder, toes flying across the dirt. Darkness rushed past the corners of my eyes as I ran—rustling in the deadfall, twisting behind trunks, shifting from real shadow to real shadow. I forced each breath through my nose till it burned and ached, and, Lady, no one deserved this.
I’d not been strong enough to outrun them then, but I could now.
I skidded round a bend in the path. Ruby stood in the center of it, expressionless mask staring down at me. I rammed into him, running too fast to stop, and we went tumbling. His hands closed around my shoulders, trying to keep us upright. My elbow cracked against his metal face.
“Shadows!” I crawled to my feet.
Ruby groaned, adjusting his mask.
“Shadows,” I said, my breath catching. “They’re back.”
Soldiers screamed for Ruby behind me. I sprinted away, his red face blurring with the other images of the damned I fled past. A stitch in my side ate at my ribs and stole my breath. I chanced a look back.
Ruby raced back toward Three, toward the shadows, toward death.
“Twenty-Three!” Emerald, mask a bright spot at the edge of the woods, drew her bow.
It would do no good.
I slowed enough to shout, “Shadows.”
She grabbed me. “What?”
“No, no.” I tugged her back toward the palace with me, heels failing to find hold in the dust. “Shadows. There are shadows. They got Three. They—”
I gagged, the weight of my running and her staring eyes bubbling up the back of my throat. Emerald’s fingers tightened around my wrist.
“There are no shadows,” she said. “And there never will be again.”
“No, no, no.” I stumbled and collapsed. I stared at each of them in turn. They had to believe me. “Three’s gone, and a shadow got Four. I saw it.”
Ruby, panting behind his mask and dragging Two by the arm, appeared behind Emerald. “Three’s flayed.”
“See!” I tried to stand, and my knees betrayed me.
“Hush.” Emerald knelt next to me and grabbed my face in her hands. “You saw Three flayed and your mind did the rest. You saw them in Nacea, didn’t you?”
I nodded. “It was morning. I climbed up to get a better look at The Lady’s constellation.”
I’d climbed up. My siblings had played below, too young to do much but stumble. Shadows had ripped through them like thorns through flesh.
“Who am I?” Emerald asked as she gripped me so tight I couldn’t look around.
“Emerald.” I shook my head. “You’re Lady Emerald.”
“The first of the Left Hand and the only one known throughout Igna,” she said softly. “You know I survived them.”
“You tore it in half with runes, but magic’s gone.”
“I tore apart the runes holding it together. Without magic, they cannot exist. Trust me, I am one of only four left living who knows how to create and destroy the shadows.” She let me go and leaned aside. “Look.”
Four stood with Two, eyes rimmed with red and hands dripping blood. He clutched Three’s mask with shaking hands.
“What?” I glanced around. “How?”
“Like I said, you saw Three and your mind did the rest. Three was an auditioner kill. A cruel one but one nonetheless.” Emerald stood. “Lady dal Abreu is a royal physician. Let her look at you, and be polite while she does.”
I nodded, heart still hammering away at what was left of my ribs.
“I do love being right though,” Emerald said as she patted my shoulder. “You are quite the runner.”
I’d thought death was at my heels. “I don’t like being chased.”
“No one does.”
She moved away, and Four took her spot. He gestured to me.
“Two grabbed me.” He shook his head like a mourner trying to keep tears at bay. “Not a shadow.”
“Whoever killed Three was a butcher.” Lady dal Abreu kneeled next to me, her evergreen dress stitched with thick, black thread like a turtle’s shell fanning out around her. She pointed to the strands of hair clinging to Three’s mask. “Not a shadow.”
I took the flask of water from her. Of course everyone here had seen them, been to war against them. She was Rodolfo da Abreu’s twin and knew the shadows just as well as he had. All the stories said she’d offered a fortune to anyone willing to return his corpse for funeral rites—illegal since his vengeance had meant killing folks who’d surrendered. She knew the shadows as well as Emerald—knew how to create and destroy them.
Knew better than me how to tell fears from reality.
Face drawn and gray eyes narrowed, Lady dal Abreu peeled back my soaked shirt and hasty bandage with rune-scrawled hands. The turtle designs inked into her skin—the ones that had granted her healing powers and would’ve severed her arms at the wrists had she misused them—were the only runes I’d ever liked. Now, in the filtered forest light, they were white and dead and useless, drained of everything that had given them life. Just like Three.
Elise’s face, dimpled cheeks smeared with charcoal and blood, flashed through my mind.
I winced.
“Stop it.” She pressed a rag soaked with witch hazel against my side. “Any one of us would’ve been afraid.” She dropped her voice to whispered Alonian. “Most of us can’t even sleep in the dark anymore. Ruby’s hopeless without a lamp.”
I let out my breath in a low, long hiss and scratched at a cut on my hand. “I can’t either. Not back up here.”
How could she stand to stitch me up when I stood for everything she swore an oath to stop—injuries and death?
“Scratch it again and I’ll stitch your fingers to your dress.” The threat of violence assuredly not to come was southern enough. “Scratching will make it worse.”
I nodded. She smiled, thin lips twisting up into a crooked grin so wide it crinkled the corners of her eyes and stretched the runes lining her lids.
Only Our Queen’s most trusted peers—Emerald, Nicolas del Contes, Isidora dal Abreu, and Rodolfo da Abreu—had those runes, the ones that let them see the shadows’ magic.
Rodolfo had been Isidora’s twin, the same hair and eyes, same freckles, all the rumors said, and I’d enough pain simply remembering my dead siblings. Looking in a mirror for her must’ve been torture.
I’d grown up listening to the stories of Rodolfo da Abreu as fondly as most kids listened to bedtime tales. He’d killed the Erlend mages responsible for the shadows to prevent the knowledge of their creation from ever being spread, but I’d never considered the pain his life might’ve left behind. The shadows left nothing but pain in their wake.
Four plopped onto the ground next to me.
“I never saw the shadows,” Four said as he tucked Three’s mask into his pocket. His eyes were glazed, and he was out of it, completely in his own world. He didn’t even notice Two’s worried stare. “I never knew.”
He trailed off. I handed him the flask I’d stolen. If it wasn’t shadows, we’d nothing to worry about. Monstrous people were old news.
Still, seeing your friends like that never got easier.
“I’m sorry you know now.”
Nineteen
Isidora dal Abreu fixed me up with evenly spaced stitches that puckered my skin around the edges. She covered the rest of my hurts in sweetly scented salves, and she slipped me a jar of it with a pat on the hand. I sat with Four and Two in silence, trying to erase the memory of that drip from my mind, and watched the other auditioners race through the gate. Five showed up while I was still getting bandaged, his shoulder already taken care of and his face sporting a black eye I hadn’t given him. Six and Ten stumbled over the line together, their shackles unhooked from each other but still dangling from their wrists. Eleven and Fifteen raced for second-to-last place.
Fifteen won.
Ruby ran circles around Eleven as she finished, tapping her heels with a spear. The familiar, shaky panic of the shadows hadn’t left me, and grim-faced guards filtered i
n from the forest. Three’s death hung heavy over all of us.
Too heavy for Two and Four to even speak.
“With eight left alive, your physical training is now over.” Emerald’s soft voice drew our attention. “Your training is not however.”
Elise had been right: there were rounds, and I’d survived the first one.
“You will cease your attempts on each other’s lives tonight.” Ruby tightened the knots of his mask. “Your servants will help you relocate, and you will be on your best behavior.”
“Your new rooms are as much a test as this run,” Amethyst said. “You will be housed within the true grounds of the palace, beyond the River Caracol, and you will be expected to behave as guests of Our Queen. We will be watching.”
They were letting us into the palace proper? With all the lords and ladies and honorable court members who balked at dirt? They couldn’t let everyone beyond the river and wall, and they’d have to trust Opal to behave properly at court. Which meant our next lessons were—
“Poisons, etiquette, and basic medicine training will begin tomorrow after breakfast.” Emerald had to be grinning like a fiend behind her mask because her voice was laughing at us. “At which point, you may resume the competition.”
“We expect you to kill in ways to reflect your growth.” Ruby gestured for us all to stand. “Those of you taking other lessons will still attend tonight. We’ll explain everything else tomorrow.”
Amethyst nodded. “You’ve all done well. We were trying to break you physically. The next part may let you rest your body but not your mind. Rest well. You’ll need it.”
The Left Hand turned away from us to address a crowd of soldiers all sporting various bruises and scrapes. Isidora and Ruby turned to each other, whispering back and forth.
We were dismissed.
Maud walked me back to my room. She offered me her arm once, after catching sight of the bandage around my side and the dried blood dotting my clothes, but I shook her off. I’d already nearly died and made a fool of myself. The other auditioners didn’t need to see how weak I was.
But Isidora said Ruby slept with a lamp, and the rest of the Left Hand had seen the shadows. Surely they’d understand my panic.
When we reached the room, Maud peeled my shirt away without disturbing the stitches. My room was spotless—the tub tipped in the corner, the mice gone, and all my clever contraptions for keeping people out taken apart. She set a washbasin next to me.
“Isidora gave me salve—in my pocket.”
“Lady Isidora dal Abreu?” Maud rifled through my ruined clothes and pulled out a tiny jar.
“Suppose I should get used to using their titles.” I leaned back, eyes too heavy to stay open. “She was nice. Emerald said she treats the Left Hand.”
“She certainly does.” Maud hummed and checked my stitches. “She and Ruby have been inseparable since he won his mask. Can’t blame her—he’s terrifying but polite and protective if he likes you.”
I snorted. “What else you know about her?”
“Only gossip—married Nicolas del Contes five years ago when she was eighteen, sticks close to Our Queen and the Left Hand, and keeps a laboratory scarier than anything I want to do with. Her husband’s a sneaky one, dressing up like soldiers and servants to keep an eye on things.” Maud pushed a tray of food toward me—a small slice of bread slathered in butter and a smaller bowl of berries. “She’s nice though. She doesn’t charge you anything if you’re sick and can’t afford the medicine.”
I knew of Nicolas del Contes—an Erlend who’d sided with Our Queen—but nothing useful. I’d have to worm some information out of Elise.
Elise. Tutoring. I still had to go to tutoring. How had it only been one day?
“Maud?” I waved my arm, too tired to sit up. “I have to go to tutoring tonight. Can you wake me up when it’s time?”
I’d not really, truly slept in days. Thank The Lady we were safe tonight because there was no way I could stay awake through it.
“Of course,” Maud said. “I’ll take you to your new quarters after.”
The door clicked shut. I meant to say “thank you,” but the words didn’t come. I stared at the closed door from my slumped seat on the bed, cheek pressed to the wall, and closed my burning eyes. Only a moment, one small break while the sun still shone and nightmares couldn’t come.
“Up, Twenty-Three.” Maud touched my arm. “Time to move.”
I jerked awake and swung. Maud lurched backward. At least she wasn’t calling me “Auditioner” anymore.
“Don’t do that.” My mouth was cotton and my tongue stuck to my teeth. I downed a cup of too-hot tea. “Don’t touch me before I’m awake. I might hit you.”
A lifelong habit wouldn’t distinguish between Maud and enemies.
She exhaled loudly through her nose. “Good to know.”
“Good.” I waited for her to pour me a second cup of tea, curling my fingers around the mug. Last thing I needed was to get disqualified for hitting someone I didn’t even want to hit. Maud didn’t deserve a bloody nose and no promotion. “Where’s the new room?”
“The Left Hand have quarters near Our Queen, but each keeps residences in the outer circle for visitors. You’ll be housed on Amethyst’s grounds.”
The River Caracol spiraled out from under the palace, natural springs older than Erlend and Alona combined that had been twisted into shape ages ago. Each loop of the spiral served as an extra level of defense for the main palace walls at its center. I’d only now gotten used to the layout of this place.
That was probably the point.
“And I don’t get to know where everyone else is staying?”
Maud dropped a spoon into the bowl and didn’t answer.
I cracked my sore back and muttered, “Fun.”
She smiled.
I stretched my sore limbs and shoveled as much food as I could into my mouth. If our next test was all poisons and healing, I’d be hard-pressed to find safe food, especially with Eleven—her apothecary sigil and fast fingers were a terrifying combination. We’d be learning etiquette too. I didn’t even know where to start with that.
“I look all right?” I fiddled with my sleeves, the well-tailored lines heavy and unfamiliar. Might as well start being proper now. If I was going to work my way into Elise’s good graces for noble information, I’d have to look good. “Good enough for all those honorable court members I’m going to be meeting?”
“Your hair’s a mess,” Maud said without missing a beat. Fair enough—I’d shaved it last winter and it was growing in wild. “Your bottom lip is split, and there’s a hole in your mask. You don’t hold a candle to anyone at court clothes-wise either.”
I touched my mask. A thin slit gaped under my fingers, and the scratch across my cheek underneath was rough and new. I sighed.
Elise had already seen me at my worst. I could only improve.
“Can you fix my mask without me taking it off?” I snaked my fingers under the mask and held it out. “No stitching it to me.”
“I think I can manage that.” Maud sat down next to me, pulling a needle and thread from her pocket. Buttons, ribbons, rags, and an old thimble tumbled out of her pockets. She threaded the needle and pried wax from the point. “Hold still.”
She stitched it up neat as my side. I could stitch flesh well enough to leave a small scar, but my hands shook too much on normal days to be good at anything other than sloppy darning. I rubbed the thread.
“Sewing part of being a servant?” I asked as I sniffed my tunic.
At least I smelled all right. Bet Elise had a dozen different fancy perfumes. And a dozen different flirts.
Hopefully she liked dangerous people.
“I’m an attendant.” Maud stuffed her collection of sewing tools back in her pocket. “I was a housekeeper, but attendants have a higher rank and better pay, and this was the fastest way to become one.”
I nodded. There was a story there, but she didn’t trust me wit
h her truths, and I didn’t trust her with mine.
“Personal attendants take care of schedules, clothes, makeup, accountants, and such needs,” said Maud. “Everyone at court has one, and if they can’t afford one, they make another servant take the place of one. Appearances matter as much as anything else.”
Great. Another thing I could fail at. I didn’t like depending on Maud for so much.
I walked to the nook alone, smoothing down my hair as best as I could under my mask. Elise was the daughter of one of the old lords who’d bowed to Our Queen—couldn’t be happy about it—and she’d embraced the new court. She’d know all the noble things I didn’t, like which Erlends were unhappy, who knew what about Nacea, and where all of them lived beyond the Caracol.
Where Lord Horatio del Seve was.
Where the lords who’d withdrawn their soldiers from Nacea and left us to die were.
Who all owed me the blood of thousands and had yet to pay up.
Lady, guide me. With the right push, Elise de Farone could tell me everything I needed.
Twenty
Elise set down her pen when I entered. Her hair was loose today and the window behind her open. Tight curls bounced over her shoulders, strands as dark as a midnight pansy, and two pearl combs shaped like Our Queen’s jagged lightning bolts kept her hair from falling into her eyes. She rested her chin on a fist.
Flirting with her would be easy.
I bowed. “Lady de Farone.”
“Twenty-Three.” She nodded to me, the azurite powder lining her eyes tilting up like ocean waves. Silver dotted the tips like salt. “You’re still alive.”
“I’d hate to miss studying with you.” I took my seat and shifted my shoulders back, chest slightly out and tunic falling off my shoulders till the base of my neck was bare. I needed to know if she was truly interested in me or even could be. “You look lovely.”
“Thank you,” she said, “but we’re here for you, not me.”
“And I continue to wonder what kind act I performed to grant me time to see you.”
She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. I let myself relax.
She opened her mouth to speak, shook her head, and laughed again. I picked up the piece of charcoal.
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