“It started with ‘fal.’”
“North Star used to—” Seve cleared his throat, hands trembling. “North Star calls it the Fallow.”
I saw red—blood streaking the farmlands, handprints pressed to shattered doors, stains beneath my nails I couldn’t scrub free no matter how many years I scoured my skin. The rush of my blood roared in my ears and raced in my veins. I flipped my knife around.
“We are only what you made us.”
I rammed it hilt first against his temple.
He slumped forward, head lolling, and collapsed over my feet.
Fallow.
We weren’t fallow. Our home wasn’t a field left bare so they could profit. I squeezed my eyes shut as the word ripped its way through my chest and burrowed into my heart. They killed us and had the arrogance to call our blood-soaked lands “fallow.” I crumbled, sure I’d split in two with each shuddering gasp. My mask caught in my mouth.
I ripped it off. The weight of everything—Nacea, the shadows, Seve, his information—pressed into my back, digging into my bones like burrs I’d never be able to unhook. I curled up in the garden, muffling the sobs with my arms.
I didn’t feel better. I didn’t feel better at all. I had their names, but Nacea was still there, looming at the edge of my mind, threatening to remind me of pain and fear and blood with each glance toward Seve’s still hands. I couldn’t leave him here.
He didn’t deserve dying in the comfort of his own home, and I couldn’t leave it looking like a murder.
I dragged myself to his belongings and found a bottle of vile-smelling brandy wine. I poured out a measure in the glass next to the bottle and dribbled more into his open mouth. A fall would snap a neck.
He drank. He fell. He died.
It could happen to anyone.
I set everything up to look like a late night drink, fingers trembling as I straightened his sleeve and pulled him back up to the ledge.
“You’d best hope your Triad are more merciful than me,” I said and shoved.
He landed headfirst with a bone-snapping thunk. I leapt down next to him and sprang to my feet. The guards pacing around the area didn’t change course, no footsteps running toward me. I stared down at Seve, legs splayed and neck bent unnaturally. His neck was caught in the ivy scaling the bricks, tangled leaves holding tight to his slack face. Red spittle leaked from the corner of his mouth.
I checked his pulse and found nothing. “Blood owed, blood paid.”
The forest felt like home. Lights flickered from above, filtering down through the leaves, and guards patrolled the other edges of the forest with lanterns no larger than my hands. The familiarity of the leaves crunching beneath my boots, the darkness pressing down around me as I fled, ached in my chest, and I hid behind an old creaking oak, tears and laughter burning in my chest.
I’d done it.
I didn’t feel better, but it was done. Surely the terrible memories would ease the closer I got to the others. Seve was only one among many.
And I was still in the running to be Opal.
I stumbled toward my room, exhaustion crashing into me. Only Four was about, walking down the path from Emerald’s residences. The sound grated, and I groaned. My head ached with all that had happened tonight.
Four spun around. I dove to the side of the path. I couldn’t be seen, couldn’t let anyone know I’d been awake while a lord was murdered. They’d suspect the killers first, never one of their own, and they’d be right, but I couldn’t let them have me. Seve was only one.
North Star. Winter. Caldera. Riparian. Deadfall.
Four moved on down the path. I pulled myself from the underbrush, thorns stuck in my hands and the rotten scent of molded leaves clogging my throat. I shuddered.
The shiver stayed in my bones till long after I was curled up under the blankets in my bed, shadows with Seve’s hands clawing at my back.
Twenty-Eight
A streak of sunlight from the finger-thin slats in the ceiling seared my arm. I rose slowly, arms and legs heavy with sleep. The jaw-cracking yawn of a deep night’s sleep rattled me awake and cut Maud’s morning knock in half. I took my time telling her to come in, limbs wobbly as a kitten’s, and rolled out of bed. The moment she entered, mouth set in a sober line, I knew.
“What’s wrong?” I pulled on clean clothes and hoped my nonchalance sounded honest. “You’ve got that gossipy look about you.”
Maud glanced at the door and the slats in the ceiling before ducking her head down to speak—everyone did it when sharing secrets. “Lord del Seve died last night—fell off his roof.”
“What was he doing on the roof?” I pulled on my boots, furrowing my brows enough for her to see. “Thought all the people here had parlors and such?”
“Roof gardens are popular. Our Queen started using them when the school was besieged and they’d nowhere to grow food. The habit stuck.” Maud gathered up my clothes, eyes narrowed on my face, and looked me up and down. “You need to bathe eventually.”
“Do I?” I sniffed my shirt. “Smell like soap.”
“Disgusting,” Maud said. “I’ll draw a bath after breakfast. You’re not going to all your training, are you?”
“How’d you know that?”
She glanced at me over her shoulder. “It’s my job to know where you are and anticipate what you’ll want.”
“You should think about auditioning for Opal,” I said.
She laughed till we parted ways, and I ducked into the breakfast hall.
Only Amethyst was there, working her way through a stack of papers and a cup of tea. I sat at the other end of the table. Might as well let her drink in peace.
Eating with the mask on was a trick. I’d not caught them doing it yet, only the moments after.
“Your eating habits are worse than my brother’s,” Four said as he poured himself a cup of strong tea before he sat across from me, “and he’s barely five.”
I scowled, my third fat-fried flat cake hanging out of my mouth.
Two sprinkled a bowl of grits with butter and laid a thick slice of fried ham over it—comfort food if I ever saw it. Her hands shook. Four didn’t eat.
Something was off. I swallowed my last cake, unfurling my legs and sitting up straighter. Ten and Eleven showed up next, bandages on their arms from Isidora’s training, and Fifteen strolled in well after they were done eating. Five entered last.
Charcoal dust spotted his clothes and gathered in his chair. Crescents dark as the new moon shadowed his pale eyes. The whites were spotted with pink.
Good. He was exhausted and scared, and he’d make a mistake.
“I had thought,” Emerald said loudly, sweeping into the room, “we were teaching you all how to kill in secret, but you continue to disappoint me.”
My nails tore through the cheese bun. They couldn’t know.
“Six is dead.” Ruby sat next to Amethyst and let out an exaggerated sigh. “Someone better have an alibi.”
I glanced around, and only Four wasn’t watching the Left Hand.
“So,” Amethyst said as she laid down her papers, “do you have one, Twenty-Three?”
Everyone turned to me.
“What?” The world dropped out from under me. All the happiness, all the joy at Seve’s death left me in a breath, and Amethyst’s words burned in my ears. I’d forgotten Six was even still alive. “I didn’t kill Six.”
“A denial is not an alibi.” Emerald gestured for me to stand, brass nails glinting in the light.
I’d been set up.
“I can’t have an alibi for something I didn’t do.” I stood and braced myself against the table. “I can’t prove I wasn’t somewhere at some secret time if I don’t know when and where it happened.”
“The proof of your innocence is your business.” Ruby shrugged. “Where were you last night?”
I gritted my teeth together. I’d only passed one other auditioner last night, and he wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Sleeping.”
“Alone?” Emeral
d asked. “Did anyone see you?”
“No.” I shook my head, every thought and hope crashing in my mind. They couldn’t disqualify me. They couldn’t. I’d given up everything. I’d no money, no way back south, and no home left. I couldn’t face Rath if I failed. “I sleep alone. My servant didn’t see me till the morning.”
“Unfortunate.” Ruby clucked and beckoned a guard near the door.
I was enough for Opal.
“You lying little meddler.” I clenched my hands into fists to keep from leaping across the table and punching Four. “You’re using me as your cover, and it’ll come back to bite you.”
I’d only one way out of this, one possible way to keep them from disqualifying me. I might die outright for even trying it, but that was hardly worse than disqualification.
Emerald tilted her head to the side. “How do you know it was Four if you were asleep?”
“Because he’s the only one fiddling with his hands and not watching on with glee,” I said.
“I saw you.” Four nodded to me, still not meeting my eyes. “It’s a better way to go than dying.”
Ruby’s hand closed around my arm.
I flinched and turned toward Ruby. “I thought you were better than them.”
“What?” Ruby dragged me out the door, nails digging into the thin flesh of my upper arm, and motioned for Emerald to wait. “Better than who?”
“Your noble friends.” I pried myself from his grip. “None of them would get tossed out or sent to jail with no evidence of their crime. Would you disqualify Five and all your invited noble favorites on nothing more than heresy and lies?”
This always happened. I should’ve known. Two and Four weren’t as rich or as noble-blooded as Five, but they were handpicked, and nobles never let their kids or favorites wait for a real verdict in court. They got lawyers and trials and motions and apologies. People like me got court-paid folks who couldn’t tell the judge from their chair. We got punished.
Truth and justice be damned.
Ruby shoved me against the door, slamming it shut and looming over me till his chest hit mine with each unsteady breath. A knife slipped from his sleeve to his hand and nicked my chin. Blood dripped between us. “Let’s clear up whatever misconceptions you have rattling around that cracked skull of yours—you don’t know me. That’s the point. You don’t know me, what I’ve done, or what I did. So don’t come whining to me about the fairness of courts and the priority of laws. I know. I gave up everything I’d ever worked for to make sure all those nobles and their favorites received their dues. I lost my life to see justice done. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
The silence between us tightened till it snapped. Ruby laughed.
“Delightful.” He sheathed his knife. “And you do bring up a good point.”
I swallowed, heart racing. Ruby had been many things, but he’d never been cold like that—voice low and hands calm while ready to slit my throat from ear to ear.
“What?” I said, wincing as my voice cracked.
“Your disqualification.” He patted my head like some bemused master consoling a dog who’d lost their stick. “Do you want to have some fun?”
“It involve me getting stabbed?”
“Probably.” He opened the door and nodded me through it. “But not by me.”
I slunk through the door, back of my neck prickling at the echo of his footsteps behind me, and Emerald cleared her throat. Amethyst set down her tea.
“New plan!” Ruby clapped his hands and tilted his head to Emerald. “Because none of us saw the alleged murder and we’re who matters—not the singular account of someone who wants the other auditioners dead and gone—Twenty-Three is on probation.”
The cup in Five’s hand cracked.
Probation. I could work with that. I’d get back to being Twenty-Three and the Left Hand would be all the more impressed for it. No hard feelings.
Ruby and I were even.
Emerald and Amethyst looked at each other. Emerald sighed, long and loud and annoyed.
“Twenty-Three will be banned from killing other auditioners and will have until tomorrow at sundown to prove his innocence—exactly like a real court of law would work.” Ruby gestured to Emerald, some secret hand signal I’d not seen them use before now, and turned back to me. “And anyone who kills Twenty-Three before then, with proof provided, will be granted immunity for one day—no one will be allowed to harm them.”
I swallowed down the shuddering fear taking root in my spine. Chin up, shoulders back. I would never let them see me tremble.
I stared down Four till he looked away.
“You’re dismissed,” Ruby said with a wave of his hand.
I slipped back outside and touched my blood-damp chin. Ruby’s words lingered. He could threaten me all he liked as long as he followed through on probation. Whoever he’d been before he was Ruby would’ve been a good person to know though. He wasn’t nice, but I was fine with that.
Except now there was a price on my head.
I’d killed Seve and gotten blamed for Six.
And if I couldn’t prove Four was lying, nothing mattered.
I’d done everything as planned, and it was all for nothing. Maud had trusted me to be Opal, and I’d let her down, not just me. I might as well be dead to Elise because I’d no chance of seeing her again.
No Opal, no Elise, no Maud, and nowhere to go that was safe.
I needed a place to hide—a place the others wouldn’t look. I sprinted from the inner circle of the grounds, through the woods and over the river, back into the buildings where we’d slept on our first night here. The guards only glanced as I raced past, and the burn in my legs overpowered the spreading panic in my chest. I need to live, and Twenty-Three wasn’t going to. I had to be someone else.
I could panic later.
Steam clouded the horizon to my left. I took off toward it, clawing my way onto the roof of a neighboring building. The little pathways and alleys around the laundry were crowded and well lit, servants scurrying about, and I circled the roof till I spotted the carts full of dirty clothes at the back of the building. I darted to the unguarded carts near the edge and fished out clothes that looked like they’d fit me. Red spotted the shirtfront and dirt hemmed the pants. I climbed back onto the safety of the roof when no one was looking.
“Thank you,” I muttered and checked the name sewn on each sleeve. “Lind.”
Noon came and went. Footsteps and laughter drifted up through the air and lulled me into an uneasy half sleep in the shade of a chimney. The other auditioners wouldn’t come here, and even if they did, none would scour every nook and cranny of these buildings to find me. I’d no way to prove I’d not killed Six and no way to find the other lords if I wasn’t Opal. A cold emptiness twined between my ribs like the ivy around Seve’s neck.
All because Four wanted me gone but not dead for some half-brained reason.
At least I could’ve fought back if he’d tried to kill me.
Except now, I had a chance to prove my worth, to prove exactly how good I was. If Ruby wanted fun, I’d give him fun.
I’d make him proud in the worst possible way.
By proving him wrong.
By surviving.
Maud would know about my probation by now, know that if I failed, she’d be back to her old job, no higher pay and no new title. I had to apologize to her for losing it if this failed.
And Elise—I needed to apologize to her for lying. I’d lied to her for nothing.
She’d be in the parlor, and I owed her the truth about who she’d been tutoring at least.
Twenty-Nine
I strolled right past the guards and servants, face bare so the auditioners wouldn’t know it was me if they were watching, and none of them spared me a second look. Getting across the Caracol bridge had been tricky, but I squared my shoulders, walked with purpose, and told the guards I’d information for the Left Hand about an auditioner while gesturing toward the blood
on my shirt. They paled and let me through.
The paths were empty of auditioners. An odd, anxious fear bubbled up in my chest the closer I got to the parlor. I shook out my arms, ignoring the flash of purple in my periphery and bowing like soldiers did when Amethyst passed me by. She didn’t even spare me a glance.
Maybe Elise wouldn’t either.
“You’re early, Fifteen.” Elise didn’t look up, brush pen gliding across her paper and lips rolling into an ever more severe line. Her hair was bound today, braided tight and coiling down her back. Silver pins cluttered her dark hair like stars, and her long purple tunic glittered with silver thread. A constellation incarnate. “While I appreciate your eagerness, I’m not beginning your lesson until it’s time.”
“What about mine?” I clenched my hands together, trying to hide my shaking.
Elise’s head snapped up. Even through the thick glass of her spectacles, the redness of her eyes and puffy tinge to her cheeks were clear. “What?”
I half-bowed and my heart leapt in my throat. The words didn’t come. She didn’t recognize me. Of course she didn’t recognize me.
“Explain yourself, or I will have you removed and reassigned to the coldest, barest outpost in Igna.”
“I doubt you could reassign me.” I straightened up. “You couldn’t even have me arrested for robbing you.”
She didn’t answer. She might not want to see me at all. She might not have cared a lick about me lying to her. Lady, what if she’d been playing me? Pretending to like me and getting in my good graces like Maud had said, and I’d played her right back and neither of us wanted to be here—
“Twenty-Three?” Elise whispered, pen clattering to the floor and ink speckling her hands. She rose slowly to her feet.
“I wanted to apologize.” I licked my lips, cheeks warm—she was staring at me, wide-eyed and lost, like travelers finally finding their way home, the look burning within me. I could only nod. She wasn’t mad, but she wasn’t saying anything. I was too hot, too tight, and everything was new and odd. My own skin was ill fitting. I wanted to strip off the coat, put on a mask, and go back to yesterday. I didn’t know why I was here. “But I can go if you like.”
“No!” Elise dashed toward me, catching my shoulders in her hands. She ran her hand down my arm, silver ring pressing into my skin. “They said you were gone. I thought they meant dead. An auditioner died, and you were gone.”
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