“Thanks for that.”
“Anytime.” He jumped off the tailgate. “You gonna be okay tonight?”
No. “Yep. But I’ll probably be hung over tomorrow.” Cal pointed at the Wild Turkey. “And I’m blaming it on you.”
“You’ve done your share of mornin’ after whiskey therapy with me so it’s only fair I return the favor.”
Chapter Nine
Year one…
Kimi doll,
I can’t tell you how big my smile is when I see a letter from you in my mailbox. Folks driving by probably thought I’d won the sweepstakes.
I was glad to hear you found a different place to live after you left Juneau. The landlord sounded like a real piece of work. While I understand Alaska is the last frontier, it can’t be comfortable sleeping with a gun under your pillow every night. A beautiful woman like you is bound to attract attention, so be careful.
Not much has changed around here. Working cattle, getting ready for market. Carson and Carolyn are so crazy about Cord. He’s a cute little bugger. Total chip off the old block. My dad seems happy to have a grandson. Even if he is half West. I guess your dad is acting happy about it, even if Cord is half McKay. Although your brother Harland ain’t happy that Carolyn birthed the first grandchild. Carse has mentioned Eli stopping by their place a time or two. I wish you were around to keep Carolyn company. I know she misses you. If the signs I’m seeing in nature are correct, I suspect it’ll be a hard winter. Yep, you knew I’d get to talking about the weather at some point. I wonder how your sister will fare being cooped up in a trailer out in the middle of nowhere all day with a baby.
I did some improvements around the place, not a lot of other things to do. I tilled up the flower beds in the far back corner the past three weekends. After watching nothing come up in the last two years, I figure I’d start over with the planting next spring. So if you’ve got advice on what to plant, and where, I’m all ears.
Gigi got with puppies again. I had a devil of a time giving away the last batch. Although, I don’t know if I told you that your brother Darren took a male pup. Guess he’s working out well as a sheep dog. But I’ll probably buck up and get her spayed after this litter.
As always I’ve been thinking about you. Hoping you’re finding what you need up there in the frozen tundra.
I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. You know where to find me.
Cal
Year two…
Calvin sugar britches,
You always start with an endearment so I thought I’d follow suit with something new.
I know you’re busy birthing calves and other assorted cow stuff. Carolyn says Carson drops into bed exhausted every night so I’ll bet your nights are even shorter, since my brother-in-law has a wife, and a kid, and you, being the standup guy, probably tell him to go home and you’ll handle it. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and eating more than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Not that my food choices are any better up here—it’s heavy on elk, caribou and salmon. I tried moose. It was the most god-awful stuff I’ve ever tasted. Besides bear. I actually barfed it was so nasty.
Speaking of bears…someone had to kill a bear right in the middle of town last week—Fairbanks does seem like the last frontier sometimes! Locals say that once a bear gets a taste for people food, they won’t go back into the wild. Then they become violent when they’re denied food, so there’s no choice but to put them down. I’ve been careful when I hike to take a gun with me. But with my luck, I’d probably shoot myself.
I realized when I read back through all the letters you’ve sent me, that I never gave you specifics on what to plant, so I’ve drawn up a detailed garden plat. It’s not to scale, but it’ll give you an idea of what goes where, and the ideal distance between the rows and clumps. The time to order seeds is now. I know you’re getting the same seed catalogue I am since I signed you up for it, so I’ve made notes on which seeds you oughta buy.
My job is all right. At least working in the laundry department keeps me warm during the day. The winters up here are brutal with the limited sunlight, but like I told you before, the summers make it worthwhile. I’ve saved up enough money that I can travel to Kotzebue on the coast this year for a whole month. I’m going whale watching, and out on a commercial fishing boat for a week. A friend of mine who did the boat trip last year said they got close enough to Russia to see the coastline and some military ships. So if you don’t hear from me, don’t tell my sister I might be in a Russian prison for trespassing! Just kidding. But since I’m taking off during tourist season, I’ll probably lose my job. I’m ready to move on anyway. I don’t know where I’ll end up—that’s the fun part.
It’s hard to believe I’ve lived here for two years. Sometimes it feels like I’ve never lived anywhere else. And other times, I miss the dusty wind and sagebrush in Wyoming.
I definitely miss you.
XOXO
Kimi
Year three…
Kimi,
Sorry I haven’t written much lately. The days and nights have dragged on in recent months and I’ve been hibernating. Carson says I’ve been grumpy as an old bear, but most days I feel like a snapping turtle that people poke with a stick just to see how long it’ll take me to snap.
When I’m not refereeing my brothers and our dad, I work on projects around the house and out in the barn. Stuff that I hope to show you one day soon. Very soon.
I miss you. I thought you being gone would be hard. But not this hard.
Been forever since I’ve seen your pretty face. Do you look different? Do you feel different? With the way you move around, I can’t help but think that you’re restless. I can’t help but hope that maybe you’ve had enough of moose country and you’re ready to head back here.
I told you I wouldn’t pressure you. I’m trying not to, but I’d give everything I own to hold you in my arms right now.
Take care of yourself. But sweetheart, I sure wish it was me taking care of you.
Cal
Year four…
Cal,
I was so happy to see in your last letter that you were able to take some time off and go to Colorado Springs. I always wanted to ride the train to the top of Pike’s Peak. I imagine the view was something. But I’ve gotta say—we’ve got bigger mountains here in Alaska.
I found it…interesting that you didn’t tell me who you traveled to Colorado with.
With sunlight until almost midnight, the growing season here means I’ve seen some huge pumpkins. There are dahlias the size of dinner plates. If I could, I’d get a job working outside. At least in the summer.
You asked if I went out and whooped it up now that I’m living in the big city of Anchorage. Nope, because I don’t have any free time. But yes, I still have time to be your pen pal. Aunt Hulda sends me long letters about the funny and stupid things she does when she doesn’t have me to watch after her. I know it’s her way of telling me she misses me. Carolyn hardly ever writes me. It seems weird that she has two boys now and I’ve never seen either one of them.
I know it seems like I move around a lot. But it’s what I want after being stuck in one place so long. I’ve seen so many incredible things and I know there’s so much more I haven’t seen. I wish you were here to share it with me.
Behave yourself, cowboy.
Kimi
Year four…
Kimi,
Been a while since I’ve heard from you. Your sister doesn’t say much about what you’ve been up to, so that makes me think that maybe you found yourself a mountain man. I’d worry you’d been eaten by a bear or were lost at sea, but Carolyn did let it slip that you were way far north now in Prudhoe Bay. So being at the North Pole I figured maybe you were working for Santa Claus.
I just keep on, keepin’ on. Dad is buying land left and right and it’s taking a toll on me’n Carson because it seems like we can never catch up. It’s been a lot of driving and that gives me way too much time to think about your last few
letters and how you talk nonstop about how great it is in Alaska. I worry that you’re not ever coming back here.
I need to hear from you. It’s hard not knowing if you’ve moved on with someone else.
Cal
Year five…
Calvin McKay, you jackass,
I haven’t MOVED ON WITH SOMEONE ELSE! Although the accusation makes me wonder if I might’ve been better off if I had.
I can’t believe you
Okay, I had to take a break and have a smoke. During the little time I can stand to spend outside in this frigid air, in the damn dark, I realized Carolyn couldn’t tell you what happened because I haven’t told her. She worries too much and the woman has enough to worry about these days.
First of all, I moved to Prudhoe Bay from Anchorage when oil was discovered up here. I was lucky enough to get in on the first wave of workers, which means we got a tiny house with two bedrooms for four women—sadly that’s more than the shacks most people are living in. I’ve been working in a bar/restaurant 70 hours a week. It is crazy up here. The ratio of men to women is like 200 to 1. There’s not enough housing, food is more expensive here than in New York City, vehicles have to run 24 hours a day or they’ll freeze up, and there’s no sun at all from November to mid-January. So it’s dark, crowded, and cold as a witch’s tit in a brass bra. There’s rumors of a new pipeline that’s gonna be built straight down the center of the state, which means more guys moving up here hoping to strike it rich. The money is out of this world. That’s the only reason I’m staying. But I ain’t gonna lie. I don’t know how much longer I’ll stick around.
Just to clear things up, you haven’t heard from me because there was a screw up with the mail. I swear the Pony Express had better service! I found out nothing got transferred to my new address in Prudhoe Bay from my old address in Anchorage for the last eight months. So I didn’t even get this letter, and the three others you sent before that, until last week. So I understand why you think I was avoiding you. I wasn’t. And when I hadn’t heard from you, I thought maybe you were done with me. But I didn’t have the guts to ask my sister if you were seeing someone. Oh, and I wasn’t screwing around with Santa’s elves either, and I’m sure you’re making a crack about how I’m short enough that I’d fit right in with them.
What happened to you saying that you’ll wait for me? And your claim that we are meant to be together? I oughta come down there and kick your butt for having so little faith in me, Cal.
Kimi
Two weeks later…
Kimberly Jo,
A little bitty thing like you kicking my butt? Not gonna happen, sweetheart.
But you’re welcome to try.
Cal
One week later…
Cal,
I don’t wanna fight with you. I miss you too much.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Kimi
Five days later…a wire via Western Union…
Kimi looked at the message from Cal.
COME HOME NOW
Well, he couldn’t have made it any clearer than that.
And it was clear enough to her that it was time to go home.
Chapter Ten
It’d taken Kimi a month to get everything settled in Alaska and return to Wyoming.
She hadn’t told her sister or any of her family she was coming back.
Not even Cal knew. She wanted to surprise him.
Her stomach had butterflies from the time she’d left Seattle heading east on I-90 until the moment she pulled into Sundance.
She’d never been great with directions, but she managed to find his house, even in the dark.
But there wasn’t a light on and his truck wasn’t in the drive.
Disappointment flooded her that he wasn’t home.
On a whim, she drove by Carolyn and Carson’s trailer. Her gut clenched at seeing her mom’s car sitting there, as well as a pickup. The absence of another pickup meant Cal wasn’t here either.
As much as Kimi wanted to knock on the door and meet her nephews, and see her sister for the first time in years, she didn’t pull in. There’d be time for a reunion after she’d reunited with Cal. They might not come up for air for days.
She drove back into Sundance to look for a place to eat.
During her slow perusal of the four blocks that made up the main drag, she counted two bars and two restaurants. Both the restaurants were closed. Maybe one of the bars served food.
She parked in the middle of town and walked to the first bar, The Golden Boot. But loud, bad country western music blared from inside and it looked like there was a cover charge to get in.
Skip that one.
The next bar was The Silver Spur. It looked equally busy. After spending the last year working in a bar, the last place she expected to find herself on a Saturday night was in a smoky honky-tonk. She hoped the cowboys’ manners were better than the roughnecks’ she was used to dealing with.
Kimi ducked into the bathroom first. She took a moment to check her makeup. After living in the backwoods and dressing for warmth and comfort—in that order—she feared she looked like a lumberjack. She peeled off the flannel shirt and shoved it in her purse. That left her in a sleeveless T-shirt. At least it was low cut so she didn’t look like a guy.
She removed the band from her hair and fluffed it up. It fell nearly to the middle of her back. Most days she just pulled it back into a ponytail to be done with it.
As she applied another coat of mascara, she wondered if Cal would recognize her. With the longer hair and more angular lines to her face and neck. Hard physical work had melted the baby fat off her.
Two women burst into the bathroom, laughing and drunkenly holding on to one another.
Kimi washed her hands and would’ve tuned out their high-pitched chattering, but one word stopped her cold.
Cal.
“Who’s Cal here with?” the blonde asked with confusion as she puckered her lips in the mirror.
“Oh. I don’t know. Seems like he’s with a different one every weekend.”
She didn’t consider that it might be some other guy named Cal. She knew it was him.
If that jerk was rotating girls every weekend after he’d sent her the edict a month ago…she’d gut him just like she threatened to do to his brother.
After exiting the bathroom, she started her search for him down the farthest side of the bar. Her pulse pounded in her neck and her ears, giving her a slightly buzzed effect that sharpened her senses. Or maybe she was delirious from hunger.
A guy grabbed her elbow and said “Hey, sugar, you lookin’ for someone? ’Cause I can be anyone you want.”
His drunken friends laughed.
Kimi smiled at him. “Yes, actually. I’m lookin’ for Calvin McKay.”
Another guy butted in. “Afraid you’re too late, little bit. He’s already made his choice tonight.”
“Sure wish I could cherry pick ’em like he does,” another man grumbled. “Seems all he’s gotta do is say his name and the ladies spread their legs.”
The first guy elbowed him. “Don’t be crude.”
“I appreciate your help, but is Cal still in here?”
“Yep. In the middle booth.” The guy looked at her suspiciously. “You ain’t from around here. What’d you want with him?”
“I’ve gotta give him something.”
“What?”
“A knuckle sandwich,” she said sweetly.
Kimi threw her shoulders back and weaved around the bar. After she stepped around a group of women, she had a clear shot of him.
Her heart leapt, her stomach flipped and her breath caught. The man was such a stunner. That midnight black hair. Those captivating blue eyes. The slight curve to his lips. That square jawline. That damn dimple in his chin. He wore a black cowboy hat and a white shirt that set him miles above the rest of the guys in this place. When he lifted his beer bottle and drank, she shamelessly watched the muscles in his throat move as he swallowed. S
he remembered the feel of those muscles beneath her lips. The taste of his skin in that spot. His fingers tapped his beer bottle with agitation—a nervous tic she hadn’t seen before. Her thoughts rolled back to how those thick, rough-skinned fingers felt trailing over her body. Then Cal smiled at something the person across from him said, and Kimi went hot all over.
Mostly under the collar.
Tempting to buy a drink so she could toss it in his face. But she’d handle this the mature way.
Kimi knew the instant Cal noticed her. He squinted as if he might be seeing things. Then he froze. She slowed down her walk, enjoying every moment of his confusion.
The anger that flared in his eyes surprised her. He lowered his beer to the table.
She managed to keep the quiver out of her voice when she said, “You didn’t really mean come home now, did you?”
Without taking his eyes off of Kimi, he said, “Move,” to the woman sitting beside him.
“Are you always this rude?” she complained.
“Get out of the booth, right fuckin’ now,” he snarled at her.
Kimi couldn’t move even if she’d wanted to.
But the woman realized Cal wasn’t kidding and scrambled away from him.
Cal slid across the bench seat as quickly and efficiently as a predator stalking prey. He loomed over her, his gaze locked to hers. He lifted his hand to her face. The instant his fingers touched her skin he growled. “About goddamned time, woman.” Then he captured her mouth in a kiss that started out sweetly exploring, but became desperate.
Everything faded but the heat of Cal’s body, the hunger in his touch and in his kiss. Kimi clung to him, feeding his desire with her own.
Finally when someone yelled, “Take it outside, McKay,” they broke the kiss. But they didn’t move very far apart.
Cal clutched her hand tightly. “Come home with me.”
“What about your date?”
He frowned. “What date?”
“The woman sitting next to you.”
“She’s a friend of my brother Charlie. She just plopped herself down and I don’t even remember her name.”
Long Time Gone (Rough Riders) Page 9