“That was it?” My voice trended towards disappointment.
“Of the ceremony.” Janna nodded. “I meant to translate for you, but...” She sighed, letting the thought go. “I’m sure you didn’t understand any of that.”
“No,” I agreed, looking over her shoulder to recall James standing there, the words drifting like snow flurries off his tongue, blanketing me in peace. “But I didn’t need to. It was...” I groped for words to do the speech some fraction of justice, “It was hauntingly breathtaking.”
Janna smiled her agreement and stood, her eyes fixed on someone behind me. Following her cue, I stood up as well and turned to see James. He said something to his mother still in that silvery foreign language and then turned to Janna. There was such a familial intimacy between them that I felt like my very presence was an intrusion.
James must not have felt the same way, though, because his gentle voice called me out of my thoughts. The warmth of his hand resting upon my shoulder matched the warmth in his eyes, as though he could sense the shift within me. My walls had begun to crumble just the slightest bit, but James seemed to sense that. I wanted to let him know how beautiful his speech had been, but suddenly the entire English dictionary seemed inadequate so I found myself watching him, wordlessly.
James leaned into me, and I felt my breath hitch as his sent chills down my neck. “Are you ready for this?” With his lips so close to my ear, we surely looked like the lovers we meant to portray, and I looked up at him with eyes full of unspoken question. “We’re going to be under a lot of scrutiny tonight. You, especially, seem to have piqued the interest of our guests. Can you handle it?”
I flashed a smile and moved closer to him, so that no one could hear when I said, “You almost make it sound like I have a choice.” He smiled, offering up a genuine reward for my wit.
I had never been to a funeral before, but my idea of them must have been a misconception. There were no pictures all around, no weeping women clutching a box of Kleenex, and thankfully no depressing music. Following James’ speech, the tempo of the gathering jumped up from solemn to lighthearted as the guests clustered into groups and broke into conversation. Nobody cried after that. Instead, they laughed. And danced. And drank.
As it turned out Delilah had an incredible voice. It was melodic and sweet, the polar opposite of herself. She sang words that, to my untrained ear made no sense and harmonies that I didn’t recognize. They were beautiful anyways. Everyone danced and moved in time with her, moving more quickly and fluidly each time Delilah finished a glass of wine.
The confusion was overwhelming, so stark in contrast to what I had anticipated, that I was more or less lost in a swirl of action all throughout the night. I shadowed James, moving when he did, laughing with him, and looking at him for direction in the moments in between. We answered question after question about everything from how we’d met, how remarkably I was adjusting, and even a few of a political nature. James was always quick to remind the guests that they would have all of tomorrow to learn of the plans he had in store. Whenever anybody spoke they did so in English, but they made it known that their queries were intended for James. Every once in a while, somebody would get too comfortable with the exchange and look to me to start answering questions, tired of James’ explanations. So occasionally I would chime in, attempting to rescue some of my dignity. I would give the same answers as James, usually truncated for brevity, and smile a lot. When they shot questions at me rapid-fire, one after another, James—coming to the rescue—would assure them that we had to go speak with someone else, but that we’d be more than happy to share stories at dinner. The night went like that, over and over again until Janna showed up after what felt like ages, but was invariably only a couple of hours.
“I’ve come to whisk you away,” she whispered, placing a light hand on my arm to steer me the opposite direction before James could realize I was gone.
“Thank God.” I muttered once we were free from the group of middle-aged men who had been either avidly listening to James talk about his plan for the vampire relocation or intently watching me like something amazing would happen.
“No, thank Janna.” She corrected, flipping a sheet of dark hair over her shoulder. She handed me an intricate, gold-rimmed goblet from a nearby table and grabbed one for herself. “Toast with me.”
“What’s in it?” I asked nervously, peering down into the chalice. The dark pewter of the glass made it hard to see the color of the liquid within it. The fact that Janna had just picked them up from the table was disconcerting to me, as most discarded glasses at my father’s home were laced with blood and other drugs. Janna seemed not to share the same concern.
“Champagne,” she said, as though it were fairly obvious.
The grapey smell was pretty telling, now that she said so. Though I was accustomed to harder liquor than that, when I took a tentative sip, it burned my mouth. “This is disgusting,” I placed my goblet down upon the table again and looked up to see Janna giggling. Her cheeks were flushed, and I didn’t doubt that this wasn’t her first taste of champagne that night.
“Not if you keep drinking it.” She giggled. “I do have to say, you’re doing very well at this whole pretend thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“I almost believe you two are actually star-crossed lovers. The doe eyes are particularly convincing.”
I laughed, but whether it was because I was glad I was capable of spinning a convincing picture or because Janna was just naive enough to hope it was actually true, I didn’t know. “I hate to force you back to reality, but you must be deranged if you’re actually falling for our charade. How much have you had to drink?”
“Not enough.” A devilish grin tipped her lips. “I hope you’re hungry.”
“Famished,” I told her honestly.
“Good.” Janna smirked. “Mother has ordered a feast to put all others to shame. Tonight we indulge in sin…gluttony.” Her voice carried an ominous tone, as though gluttony were unforgiveable, an offense that bore the same weight as murder.
“Well, seeing as how I’m on the highway to hell anyways, I may as well enjoy dinner.”
“You’re going to Hell?” Janna arched an eyebrow. It was a delicate gesture, but she seemed on the verge of laughter.
“Yeah, seeing as I’m bound to it and all.”
“You’re bound to Hell?” Janna leaned into me, realizing she’d spoken a little louder than she’d wanted. Apparently this was news to her. She cracked a grin. “Are you referring to my brother?”
I rolled my eyes. “You know—the whole vampire thing.” I whispered ‘vampire’ like it was a dirty word. “When I die in 14 days, I’m going to join with my long lost Father Lucifer in the fiery pit below your feet.”
“You’re so cryptic, Lilith.” Janna shook her head. I shrugged and took a large sip of champagne. I wasn’t fond of the taste, but I liked the way it sent fire chasing through my limbs, as though it had the power to control my extremities.
“I’m honest.” I objected.
Janna made a noncommittal noise and, looking like she was fighting off the urge to smile, asked, “What makes you so sure you’re going to go to Hell? I think you’ve overlooked one tiny detail.”
I waited for her to go on, but when it was apparent that Janna would say nothing more without being prompted, I decided I would just have to draw the answers from her. “Which is...?”
“You aren’t a vampire.” She said it simply and the corner of her mouth twitched, threatening a smile, even despite her wary voice. “You are a hybrid…a mix. Blood still courses through your veins. I know you think that the devil has some kind of claim over you, but you are half His.”
Silence flickered between us like candlelight while I considered the gravity of her words. “That’s ridiculous.” I dismissed her after a few moments, attempting to sweep that notion under the rug. But even as I said that, I didn’t believe it was all that ridiculous at all.
“
You’re neither good nor evil. The Creator and The Devil both have claims over you. In the end, you choose where you’ll go. Not James, not Lucifer, not even God. Just you.”
“Janna, has anyone ever told you that you are—”
“Brilliant?” She flashed a toothy smile.
“Insane is the word I had in mind.”
“I second that notion.” A new voice broke the veil of our conversation. I turned towards James with a smile, and saw that he had a similar gesture on his face. I couldn’t help but wonder how he kept finding us in that mess of people, but the answer to that one was as obvious as I was. “Sorry to interrupt the philosophy lesson,” James teased. “I figured it would be best if we walked in together. You know,” He mumbled, “For appearance’s sake.”
“That’s ok,” Janna said with a quick grin. “We were done talking anyhow.”
“We were not!” I objected. “I still had questions for you.”
“I’m sure James can answer them.” Janna said, looking at her brother from the corner of his eye. “You know, later.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
James glared murder at Janna, who shrugged. “Well, with all the guests who came in from out of town, we had to make room for them to stay. We sacrificed your room, so you’ll be sleeping with James tonight.” I gaped at her, trying to justify the words. She laughed. “Just sleep.” She threw her hands up in a show of surrender. “Unless you want to do something more, in which case I promise not to judge.”
“Janna.” James warned.
“What?” She grinned.
“I-” But I didn’t complete the thought, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention our way. We had reached the door of the house and people were dotted all over, watching us and undoubtedly listening for any hint of gossip. I swallowed back my objections and followed them into the opulent old home, my eyes taking in all of the shadows on the walls around us.
The marbled entrance hall was littered with people standing in clusters, carrying on private conversations. As James and I passed the little groups, they stopped talking and turned to watch us expectantly. James kept his eyes fixed on the doors to the grand hall, which were thrown open in a welcoming gesture. I sneaked a look at Janna, who nodded her head forward, silently guiding me along.
The grand hall was nothing like it had been the day I had been brought here to determine where my fate lay. That day the room had been empty; the king and his council and his family (minus James and Julius) had all sat at the front of the room in their fancily carved chairs, watching me warily as though they thought I might all of a sudden make a break for the door. That day the room had echoed with the king’s deep, soothing voice. Now the room was so stuffed with tables and people that an echo was impossible. The tables covered every square inch of floor available, and in turn, every square inch of the tables was covered with food.
It was clearly standing room only, as there were no chairs set up. As more people began to filter into the room, my anxiety mounted, and I held tighter to James before I really considered the action. I didn’t have a chance to speak to him, though, because within a matter of moments a small party came up and immersed him in conversation. Julius soon entered and joined us.
The queen entered when the room had filled up, her head held high and her vibrant hair stacked higher. She joined our group, and I stood a little straighter.
When I thought the room could hold no one else, James stepped apart from the crowd, and no one followed. He spoke a few short, eloquent words that made no sense to me, and then lifted to his lips a goblet that had somehow found its way into his hand. He drank, and the entire room followed suit. The solemn atmosphere lifted with an explosion of chatter, and people began to turn toward the tables set against the walls, helping themselves to the variety of appetizers.
I suffered through the night in similar fashion, following the conversations gracefully, smiling when it seemed necessary and looking out into the crowd when the chatter drew to a temporary halt. I drank when it was expected of me, and looked to James and Janna as my life preservers, following their cues.
I’d be lying if I said I remembered any of the things we discussed, or even that I cared. All I knew was that the way James was smiling at me, I had to be doing something right.
I followed James back to his room, half afraid that my red face could catch the building on fire. If he was embarrassed, he didn’t let on. In fact, he seemed very nonchalant about letting me into his room. “I’ve got the floor.” He said, nodding at a pile of blankets on the ground a few feet from the bed.
I’d been here the other day, but hadn’t bothered to look around. Now I wanted to look anywhere but at James. The room set up was similar to mine, though it felt bigger. It was much like Julius’ in the sparing decorations and the minimalist grey sheets. The walls were a navy sort of color that didn’t look too dark considering the white furniture.
“Janna said she put out clothes on the bed,” James said, unbuttoning the black shirt he wore. He faced the wall, but even from behind, he had a really good-looking physique. I tore my eyes from him and looked for the clothes that Janna claimed to have set out, but there was nothing other than the crisp and neatly made bed. I wondered whether someone came in and did that for him…mine was certainly never made.
When James turned back around, I swallowed. This was too much too soon. “Nothing?” He asked, looking at the dress that I still wore. I shook my head slowly.
“Well, if you want, I can go grab something from her? Or, I could offer you a shirt and sweatpants?”
A shirt and sweatpants. Sloppy, big, and zero sex appeal. “That’s fine.” I smiled. James rummaged through his dresser, pulled out a stack of clothing, and handed them to me. “I’ll be in the hall. Just yell when it’s safe to come back in.”
I shimmied out of the dress as soon as the door was closed, grateful for the loose shirt. I had to knot the pants at the waist to keep them in place, but at least they were comfortable. I opened the door to find James sitting with his back against the wall. “I’m decent.” I said, and then cringed because that was an awfully outdated way of saying that I was covered. James stood up and turned, and then he laughed.
“What?” I looked down at myself and crossed my arms.
“I guess I wasn’t thinking about the size difference.” He shook his head and looked at the ground, where the extra fabric pooled at my feet. “You could trip over those.”
I shrugged. “Luckily, I don’t sleepwalk.”
His bed was even more comfortable than mine. It was bigger, for one thing, and the sheets were softer. I pulled them up to my shoulders and rolled on my side, facing away from his makeshift cot on the floor.
Sleep didn’t come easily. I kept feeling guilty for casting him out of his bed, and I kept seeing him every time I closed my eyes. It was odd, knowing that he was so close, and yet there may as well have been a million miles between us. We feigned a relationship. We were connected by an otherworldly bond. We were matched. But we couldn’t hold a conversation without his guilt or my anger getting in the way.
I stared at the ceiling for a long time before finally finding my voice. “James?”
But he must have been fast asleep, because he didn’t make any noise to indicate he’d heard me. I rolled over, burying my face in the cool pillows. They smelled like him, which was a really pleasant smell, but not conducive to getting him out of my mind.
I fell asleep hours later, practically encompassed by him.
Chapter Seventeen
James was gone when I woke up, but Janna greeted me within minutes of my eyes fluttering open. She smirked a lot and asked how I’d slept and winked as if she were in on a secret that I wasn’t. After a torturous hour of her poking and prodding me with different makeup utensils and styling tools, we went down for breakfast.
James met us there with his eerily-keen ability to search us out, which was quite remarkable considering the hall was crammed. If it was possible,
there were more people present now than there had been for the funeral. They lined either side of the doors, a sea of faces wearing an array of expressions. There was awe, and eagerness, and surprise, and...Unmistakable envy. The werewolves may have been creatures of the Lord or whatever they thought they were, but they were not above sin. The throne was definitely coveted, even in their world. A divine set of morals did not put them above the desire for power, and it was clear on some of their faces. I suspected a few jealous glares from girls were intended for me, but the knowledge didn’t make me as angry as it previously had when it had come from Delilah.
Today, the chairs had reappeared, crammed side by side along the long tables. There were only two at the front that were removed from the rest, elaborate enough to be thrones. I made to follow Janna into the crowd, but James turned to me gently and clasped my hand, leading me to the front of the room with him. The second chair was undeniably mine, and I sat in it gingerly, hoping my cheeks were not as red as they felt. I was sure to keep my spine straight, looking prim and proper...or at least, I hoped. I did not miss the queen’s cool eyes sliding over me from where she stood idly listening to a rambling young man.
James did not sit, which made me feel like I’d been in the wrong for doing so, but his position before the crowd elicited a sort of awed silence. He held onto it for a few moments, then spoke with such a steady confidence it almost gave me chills again. “Today marks the day that I give myself to you, to my brothers and sisters, to the humans, to the Creator. Today I swear before you all my unwavering attention, my dedication. I promise here and now to protect you from our enemies, to protect the innocent at all costs. Our lives exist because the humans exist, and I will not see them harmed by the devil’s brood. Today marks the day that our world changes. I swear eternal devotion on your behalf, on the human’s behalf, and on the Creator’s behalf. No cost is too great in regards to their lives, and as such my oath today is to protect you with my life, my sanity, and my blood, so that you may in turn continue to protect them with yours.”
The Celestial Kiss Page 20