I tried to smile at a mother soothing her baby. I saw the worry lines on her forehead.
With every step I took, the hope that AJ was safe faded. He wasn’t here. He was still in the cargo hold. I had no way to warn him. No way to tell him the plan had imploded in my face. The man looming behind me had fucked everything up.
I thought about kicking him in the crotch and making a run for it. I thought about screaming. I thought about yelling for help. But I knew those were all the wrong decisions. The young mother’s face said everything—she was worried about a fussy baby. Throwing my crisis on everyone else wasn’t going to solve anything. Instead, it only increased the risk that more people would be hurt. I couldn’t do that to them.
We reached the galley at the rear of the plane. It was empty. The flight crew was milling about in first class and the rest of the cabin. I understood they were giving Hancock time to deal with me. Only, I didn’t know how far he was going to take things to keep my silence. Was he going to hurt me?
He knocked on both the lavatory doors. The lights glowed with the unoccupied signs. Was he going to shove me in the bathroom?
He pulled a set of tri-fold doors closed behind us, keeping a rough hold on my arm. We were now partitioned from the passengers.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
“Shut up. You don’t want to risk someone hearing you.” He opened the galley door. The same one AJ had told me was the inner entrance to the underbelly of the plane.
I shook my head in defiance. “Oh no. I’m not going down there.”
“I didn’t ask.” He pushed me forward so that half my body was wedged inside the passageway.
I noticed a set of metal steps that were steep enough to be considered a ladder. There was no way I could descend walking forward. I’d fall straight to the floor.
“Keep going.” He pushed something hard into the middle of my back.
Oh shit. Was that a gun? I was afraid to turn around.
I grabbed the railing and carefully maneuvered so that I was now facing Hancock. I lowered myself one rung and then another. I took my time, finding small ways to stall.
“All the way,” he barked.
“I’m going,” I shot back. I wanted AJ to know I was almost on the last step.
I looked up as Hancock started to follow me. There was no mistaking the gun now that I could see it pointed at me.
“Just put that thing away. You can’t fire it,” I argued. “You’ll take the entire plane out.”
He huffed and jumped to the floor. “I don’t miss.”
I crossed my arms, hoping I had been loud enough for AJ to hear me, although beneath the main cabin it was loud. There was a constant roar of the engine. The baggage rattled.
“What are you going to do with me down here? I can’t just disappear.”
“You can’t?” he mocked.
“Someone up there will notice I’m gone.”
“You’re flying alone.” He waved the gun, motioning me to move backward. I sat on a stack of suitcases.
“Are you sure about that? Maybe you should have done more research,” I taunted. “I’m not alone.”
“Shut up. I have no idea why they want you. You talk all the damn time. You’re hot as shit. I’ll give you that. But that mouth is more than I could put up with.”
I didn’t take the bait. I wasn’t going to give up. I still had a bargaining chip to play—my fortune. “Whatever they are paying you, I’ll pay you more,” I pleaded. “Name it. I can wire it here and now from the flight. Let me go. You can walk away with as much money as you want.”
I didn’t like the hollowness in his eyes. It was as if part of him was missing.
“I’m good. I don’t feel like renegotiating. I got a good deal.”
“You don’t want more money?” I tried to keep my eyes on him, but it was tempting to look for AJ. He was still here. I was positive.
“If you’re thinking about personally sweetening the deal, then we can talk. Why don’t you tell me just how far you’re willing to go.”
The nausea hit me hard. “No,” I whispered.
He shrugged. “Your loss, baby.” He revealed a set of zip ties and I froze with horror.
“What are you doing with those?” I stammered.
“Until we land you need to stay put.” He lumbered toward me and I cringed. “Give me your wrists.”
I held them forward as he zipped them together. “Ouch.”
“Stay still,” he ordered. He lowered to the floor and zipped another pair around my ankles. He turned for the stairs once he was confident I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Landings get a little bumpy down here.”
He took the stairs and closed the door above me.
I didn’t know how I kept the tears in. I tried to move my ankles and wrists but they were pinned. My lungs seized when I heard a shuffle in the suitcases.
“Syd, fuck, are you ok?” AJ jumped over the luggage and rushed over to me.
I slid to the floor, unable to keep my balance.
He wiped the tear off my cheek. “I’m going to get you out of this. Ok? Let me find something to cut the ties with. Just hold on.”
I nodded, trying to keep the rest of the tears inside. I knew I couldn’t break down. Not now. We had a long way to go.
AJ rested his gun on the floor next to me. It had been drawn the entire time he was watching us. It was the smart move to resist firing it, although I knew he wanted to put a bullet in Hancock.
He started to open suitcases, digging through them for a set of tweezers or scissors. Anything with a sharp enough edge that wouldn’t have passed the TSA security line.
I yelled to him too late. The door above opened and I saw Hancock. Only this time he wasn’t alone. He was back with another plain clothes passenger.
The men jumped to the floor, but there was nothing I could do to warn AJ. His gun was by my side and the men were armed. There wasn’t enough time. I wasn’t fast enough. I couldn’t outmaneuver them
AJ was outnumbered.
“No!” I screamed helplessly as AJ turned.
Hancock growled, baring his teeth as he and his partner tackled AJ and took him to the floor.
Twenty-Three
His fingers curled around mine. Tight and strong as if he was offering to let me siphon his strength. If we could hold on a little longer this would be over.
Over.
It was a word that had fractured us before. Now, it was more threatening and severe. A finality I hadn’t been willing to face. Not when he slipped out of my life. Not when darkness consumed me. Not when I struggled to carry on. Not when everything barricaded my next step.
He squeezed again. I looked down at the way our fingers threaded through each other’s. It was as if they belonged that way, tangled and meshed. As if they fit together. As if they had never held any other hands but these.
Maybe he clasped with such a fierce grip to siphon my strength. He needed me as deeply as I always had needed him.
Was that our connection? Had it always been? Was it give and take? Need ingrained with want? Or something so consuming we drained each other?
The suitcases and crates rattled across from us. We were wedged in a corner. Our backs against the metal cavern. Our feet tucked under us in an awkward position. I was grateful I wasn’t alone, but I didn’t want it to be like this.
I lifted my eyes to AJ.
There was no explanation for why he was here now. For how we had collided in this cruel joke. It almost didn’t matter. I had gotten past the shock. Enough to realize we weren’t going to have a happy ending.
“I’m sorry, Syd.” The words sounded bitter and full of regret.
I nodded. I didn’t think I could put it into a sentence. “I know,” I whispered. “I know.”
“I should have told you sooner. I should have—”
I stopped him. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“If only I had—”
“No,” I snapped. “Just no.”
/>
“I haven’t given up,” he replied.
“And if I have?”
The only light came from a crack under the door. Our ankles were bound with zip ties. Any movement and they pinched together, cutting into my tender skin. The blood had seeped through my jeans. A few droplets oozed into my shoe.
My head pounded. The cut over AJ’s left eye looked vicious. He needed stitches. I knew the skin over his brow was thin, and the bleeding was naturally worse in that area, but it looked like something out of slasher film. For the time being it had crusted over enough to keep the blood from running into his eye.
That was how I measured our wins down here. The breaths I could still take. The beats my heart could still make. The pain my body still felt.
Pain was good.
Pain meant we hadn’t died.
Yet.
We had no way of knowing what had happened with the marketplace sale. What Beechum had been instructed to do. How many more hours or minutes we would circle while the pilots lied to the passengers. We were helpless and at the mercy of the two sleeper marshals upstairs. There was also no way to predict if there were others like them. I realized the flight crew might also be armed. There were clearly not a regular crew.
They were trained in a level of deception that was frightening.
“I want to tell you about Project Compass.” AJ’s voice sounded certain.
I looked at him. “Why?”
“I told you I would.”
I shook my head. “No. You said when this was over you would tell me.”
“What else do we have to do down here?”
“We could try to find a way out.” I blinked. “You don’t think we’re going to make it out of here, do you?”
He closed his eyes. I saw him wince with the pain. “I didn’t say that. I think you’re going to walk off this plane, no matter what.”
“And what? You’re not?” My voice rose with panic.
“Syd, listen to me.” He rustled enough so that we were facing each other. “I have to plan for all scenarios. One scenario is that we get the bad guys and we leave. Alive.” He cleared his throat. “Another scenario is that they realize how expendable I am.”
“No.” I choked.
“If that happens, you need to know about Project Compass. It’s the only shield you’ll have to protect yourself.”
“No. I don’t care about the fucking file. I want to figure out how we’re getting out of here. How you’re going to do something heroic and amazing to save us. Let’s talk about that. I know I’m not much help without a computer, but I can do something. We need a plan. Tell me the plan.”
He lowered his eyes. “If I did that, I’d be leaving you unprotected.” When he lifted them back to me, I lost my breath.
In that one gaze, I saw our life together. I remembered how he would look at me when he came home at night. How his hands raked over my body when we climbed in bed together. The moment he handed me the first glass of wine on Becca’s new patio. The hunger in his stare when he kissed me, pressing me up against the wall. The laughter when I tried to cook him dinner. The calm we felt on a lazy Sunday on the couch. The pain when he realized I had started hacking. The unbearable grief when he left.
“Wait, wait,” I whispered. “Before you tell me about Project Compass, I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?” He rubbed the pad of his thumb over my knuckles.
“I-I…if something happens to us, I don’t want it to end like this. I’ve hated you since you left, but only because I love you so much.” It was hard to force the words out. But I knew this might be my last chance to tell him. And if I didn’t, I’d live with the regret. The same kind of regret I faced at night when I tried to sleep. Regret for not trying harder. Regret for not tracking him down when I was completely capable. Regret for not fighting for the kind of earth-shattering love we had found in each other. I wasn’t going to live the rest of my life the way I had spent the past five years.
“No matter what I’ve done. Or where I’ve gone, I couldn’t stop myself from missing you. From missing us. From wanting to go back and undo all the stupid shit I did. I know I screwed up. But I still love you. I never stopped even when I swore I did.” I sniffed, trying to control the kind of emotion that couldn’t be contained. “I hated you for leaving. You hurt me. You broke my heart, AJ. I shouldn’t forgive you, but I do. I love you even though I told myself not to.”
What if this was the last moment I ever had to share all of it? The love. The joy. The pain.
He brushed my hair behind my ear, with both hands tied together. “I don’t even care if you’re only saying it because you think I’m going to die.”
I shook my head. “No. No. I don’t want you to die.”
He chuckled. “I know that, babe.”
I blushed, hoping the tears would stop. “I guess it is true that people say crazy things in intense situations.”
He smiled. “It is. So I guess it’s my turn?”
I nodded. It felt like confession, only without the priest and the small wooden box dividing us with a poorly made screen.
“I shouldn’t have left. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life than that day. I would do it over. I swear to you, Syd. I’d change all of it. Everything. I can’t tell you how many times for the past six months I wanted to knock on your door at night. I wanted to walk in and kiss you. Hold you. Tell you I was a fucking idiot. Some nights I had to lock myself in, just to keep my hands off you. Because you’re all I can think about. All I want. All I’ve ever wanted.”
I believed him. Maybe it’s because he said what I had wanted to hear for five years, but I believed the words. I believed the look in his eyes. The warmth in his hands.
He pressed his forehead to mine. I could feel his breath. I swore I felt the rhythm of his heart beat against my chest.
“I still love you, Syd. I always have.”
I nodded as he pressed his lips to mine. I drank in his kiss as if it was our first. Part of me knew to savor it as if it were our last. I wanted to memorize every corner of his mouth. The way his tongue flicked against mine. The way he could make me purr. The feel of his hands on my face. I wanted to live in this moment forever. Even if it meant this was how I died. I couldn’t leave him here. Not alone.
I didn’t care that the tears splashed over my cheeks. I needed AJ’s lips. The fire in his mouth. I had loved him like his soul was a part of mine. Whether this was hello or goodbye, I couldn’t separate it. We were entwined in a way that made it impossible to separate us without shredding a part of each of us.
He broke away. “Babe, I’ve got to tell you about Project Compass. Just say you’ll listen.”
I couldn’t look at him, but I knew he was right. I bowed my head. “All right. I’ll listen.”
Twenty-Four
“I’ve always been a recruiter,” AJ started.
“I know. I remember.”
“It’s changed over the years since we were together. I assemble teams now. I assess talent and recruit agents for their skill sets based on project needs. It’s very specific and high-level. Always classified.”
“Congratulations?”
He chuckled. “Thanks. That’s not where I was headed with that. I was given Project Compass to assemble.”
“Like a super hero gang?” I asked.
“Something like that.”
“I know you didn’t want me for the brawn. Clearly I play the nerdy hacker role.”
“Exactly. The sexy hacker.”
The plane hit a spot of turbulence and we were jostled into each other. I looked around, waiting for a sign that Beechum was going to change course or start our descent, but we seemed to keep the same altitude.
“There is something unique about Project Compass. Different from all the other projects I’ve worked on,” AJ continued.
“What’s that?”
“We don’t want our fingerprints on it. It’s beyond classified, Syd. It’s like it
doesn’t exist.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s spear-headed by the Bureau but only four people know it exists. I’m one of the four.”
“Holy shit,” I whispered. There was no way for me to understand just how far the implications of this reached.
“They need you. Don’t forget that part. You have leverage. You have something to offer that they don’t have.”
I stared in bewilderment. “How can the FBI not have a hacker that can do the same thing I can?”
He laughed. “None of them have the balls to actually hack into the FBI like you do.”
“I did that to find my family. Not because I was trying to steal anything.” It was a defensive response, but everything was intensified in the cargo bay.
He eyed me. “What matters is that you did it. You broke through every firewall. Every security protocol they have in place. You waltzed in there like you had the highest clearance level. They don’t have anyone who can do that, that they can trust. You’re not a criminal. They know that.”
I didn’t know whether to feel honored or ashamed. Everything was a mixed bag of emotions right now. Staying alive was my top priority, and AJ was confusing that with national security secrets I had never considered having interest in before.
“What is it they want me to hack? What’s the point of Project Compass?”
“It’s a takedown, Syd. A takedown of the world’s top criminals. But the U.S. wants to stay clean. They need a team who can track on the ground and on the web the worst of the worst.”
“And you think that’s me? The web part?”
“I know it is.”
I looked away. He turned my chin toward him. “It’s you. It has to be you.”
“I don’t do that stuff anymore. I told you. I want to find my birth family. I’m focused on my art through the podcast I’m creating. I’m focused on this journey. Even if I wasn’t tied up in the bottom of the plane, I still wouldn’t want to help the FBI. No offense.” I grimaced. “I gave it up for a reason. It took me a long time to figure out how to make all this work for me, but I’ve done it. I’m not going backward.”
Damaged Hart: Hart Pursuit Trilogy Book One Page 11