by Roni Loren
What could he say to that? Saying yes threw Taryn to the wolves in front of everyone—her friends, her family. He couldn’t. “Get out of my apartment. You can’t be here. I didn’t invite you.”
“What, you gonna hit me?” the reporter goaded.
Shaw’s fist balled. “What?”
The guy took a step back, knowing he’d crossed a line Shaw could legally call him out on. “I’m only the first, Mr. Miller. Give me an exclusive, and I’ll be kinder than what the others are going to say. The story isn’t going back in the bag.”
Shaw felt like he was going to throw up. It was starting all over again. And he’d dragged Taryn into it. “She didn’t know a thing. Leave her alone. Now get out.”
He herded the guy out, careful not to touch him, and then slammed the door shut.
Sweat rolled down his back, and his heart felt like it was going to give out. He grabbed his cell phone and hit a number, stalking away from the door so no one could eavesdrop.
Taryn’s voicemail answered. He hated leaving a message, but he didn’t have much choice. She might not answer any of his calls, and he needed to warn her. “Taryn, it’s Shaw. I’m sorry to tell you like this, but a story got out about us. A video from karaoke. Don’t answer your door or phone if you don’t know who it is. I told the reporter you had no idea who I was. I’ll be gone before they can get any more information out of me. Just deny everything. Say you never saw me again after that night. We met at the bar, sang, and that was it. Say you were drunk.”
There was another knock on his door. Fuck. “And, Taryn, I’m so sorry for all of this. I never meant to drag you into my mess. I loved the time we spent together.” He wet his lips. “No, I think I probably just straight-up love you. I know that coming from me, it could never be enough, but I thought you should know. Take care of yourself, songbird.”
The confession slipped out, inappropriate as fuck, but he had to get the words out there. He needed her to know that she was more to him than just a hookup. That even if it was brief, their relationship had meant something and he’d forever be thankful for having known her.
He ended the call before he could say more shit to make it worse.
He punched another button on his phone.
Rivers answered. “What the hell, dude? My phone is ringing off the hook. What’s going on?”
“A video of me and Taryn got leaked. Someone recognized us both. I told the reporter who came here that Taryn didn’t know who I was. Stick to that story. I’m going to call building security to get the reporters out of the hallway, and then I’m leaving out the back. I’ve got to get out of town. I’ll call you from the road. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to come back.”
“What? You can’t just leave permanently,” Rivers protested. “Dude, they don’t get to fucking chase you off. You didn’t do anything.”
Shaw scoffed. “I did enough. I’m sorry. I’m heading down to Galveston.”
“Galveston? Why?”
“I bought an RV.” Man, this was not how he wanted to tell Rivers, but he had no choice. “So don’t worry. I’ll have a place to stay. I’ll touch base with you when I get there, so we can figure out what to do with my stuff. Thank you for everything, man.”
“Shaw—”
But he ended the call. All this hurt too damn much. He just needed to get on the road and get the hell out of there. He wouldn’t make it through the goodbyes this time.
* * *
“Whoa, what is going on?” Liv asked, breaking the silence in the room. “You have dog treats in your purse or something?”
Taryn looked up from the laptop they’d set up on Rebecca’s dining room table, her eyes swimming with spreadsheets but the numbers still not making sense. She couldn’t freaking concentrate. She hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything since she’d walked out of Shaw’s apartment. She’d managed to go through the motions, run the fund-raiser, do the press for the event, but her mind was always somewhere else—mainly, sitting in a room rocking back and forth and freaking the hell out. “Hmm?”
Kincaid, who was sitting next to her working on the new blog, cocked her head toward Rebecca’s big, black dog. Knight was nosing Taryn’s purse, which she’d left on the couch, and whining like he was being denied beef jerky.
Rebecca stepped out of the kitchen and frowned. “Knight, don’t do that.”
Knight barked and pulled the strap of Taryn’s purse with his teeth.
“No,” Rebecca said sharply as she plunked down a pitcher of iced tea on the table. “No, sir. You put her purse down.”
At her firm tone, Knight hopped back and dropped the strap from his mouth, puppy-dog eyes in full effect. Rebecca groaned as she walked over. “You are the worst. I will not feel guilty.” She grabbed the purse. “Oh, your phone’s vibrating. Knight hates that noise.”
“Aww,” Kincaid said and made a cooing noise to call the dog over. “Does that hurt Mr. Knight’s ears? You poor baby.”
Knight’s tail thumped on the hardwood floor and his tongue lolled out.
Rebecca handed Taryn her phone. Taryn looked down. “Holy crap. I have, like, ten new voice messages.”
“Uh-oh.” Rebecca glanced down at the screen with her. “That’s not good. From who?”
Taryn scrolled through. “Lots of unknown numbers and—” The name that came up on the screen had her breath stalling for a moment. “And some other ones.”
Kincaid peeked over. “Lucas. The bastard. How dare he call?”
Liv snorted. “How do you know he’s a bastard? She’s never told us what happened. Maybe she broke his heart. Maybe he’s a nice guy and they just didn’t click.”
“I know because of simple math,” Kincaid said matter-of-factly. “Lucas in her life equaled happy, upbeat Taryn. Lucas out of her life equals won’t-stop-working, grumpy Taryn. He broke up with her. Therefore, he is the bastard.”
Taryn stared at her phone. Shaw had left a message. But so had a bunch of other numbers. She couldn’t deal with the Shaw message yet. She hit the button to play one from an unknown number on speaker. “Hi, Dr. Landry, this is Casey Carrigan from Channel Four. We talked at your event a few weeks ago. I was hoping you could make a comment about your relationship with Shaw Miller.”
Taryn’s stomach flipped and she dropped the phone, trying to stop the message from playing. It clattered to the floor.
Kincaid blinked. “Wait, what?”
“Shaw Miller?” Rebecca asked, brow knitting. “What the hell is she talking about?”
The next message started automatically before Taryn could get her phone back in her hands. Another reporter from some website. “Dr. Landry, a video has surfaced. We understand you must be in shock, but we’d like to speak to you about how you’re feeling about Shaw Miller conning you…”
With shaking hands, Taryn hit Pause, her fingers going numb. “Oh God.”
All her friends had stopped what they were doing. Rebecca sat down next to her at the table, eyes wide. “Taryn, what’s going on? What are they talking about? Conning?”
“Shaw Miller,” Kincaid said sharply. “As in Joseph Miller’s brother?”
Taryn put her hand to her forehead, her vision cartwheeling for a moment. They knew. Someone knew. Shaw had been outed. Oh God. That was why he was calling.
She closed her eyes. “No.”
“Honey, you’re scaring me,” Kincaid said, her hand going to Taryn’s shoulder. “What are they talking about?”
There was no denying it now. All these messages. Everyone knew. What video? She couldn’t even begin to know. Them kissing somewhere? At the gym? At the bar?
She stood abruptly, the room tilting. “I need a minute.”
Her friends backed up, giving her space. She put her phone to her ear to listen to Shaw’s message. His words were rushed, tumbling over each other, frantic.
“T
aryn, it’s Shaw. I’m sorry to tell you like this, but a story got out about us. A video from karaoke. Don’t answer your door or phone if you don’t know who it is. I told the reporter you had no idea who I was. I’ll be gone before they can get any more information out of me. Just deny everything. Say you never saw me again after that night. We met at the bar, sang, and that was it. Say you were drunk.” There was a pause, a thumping in the background. “And, Taryn, I’m so sorry for all of this. I never meant to drag you into my mess. I loved the time we spent together.” The phone went silent for a second. “No, I think I probably just straight-up love you. I know that coming from me, it could never be enough, but I thought you should know. Take care of yourself, songbird.”
Taryn stared at her phone. Her heart was racing. Her skin was damp. Someone had found out who he was and had linked him to her. That was enough of a shock. But Shaw’s parting words had her knees going out from under her. She leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. He’d covered for her. He loved her.
Shaw loved her.
But it wasn’t enough.
Her friends hurried to her side again, all crouching down around her. Liv pressed her hand on Taryn’s knee. “Tell us what’s going on. Please. You look like you’re going to faint.”
Taryn stared at their expectant faces. “Lucas is Shaw. Shaw Miller.”
Three sets of eyes went wide. Rebecca made a horrified sound.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kincaid said, standing straight up with murder in her eyes. “Lucas… He pretended…to you…and he’s… I’m going to disembowel the sonofabitch. What’s his address?”
“I’m calling Finn,” Liv said, rising and going into instant motion as well. “This is like…rape or something…something illegal. Oh my God, Taryn. I’m so sorry. What sick bastard would—”
Taryn lifted a hand. Shaw’s words rang in her ear but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. “I knew.”
The quiet words halted her friends’ ranting and moving about. They all stared at her.
Rebecca, forever the calm one, was still crouched in front of her and spoke first. “You knew who he was?”
Taryn nodded miserably. “Yeah. Not at first but early on, before anything got serious. He told me. I’m sorry I kept it from y’all.”
Kincaid collapsed into her chair, looking down at Taryn on the floor, a helpless look on her face. “You’ve been dating Shaw Miller?”
“Yes,” Taryn said softly.
“Why?” Kincaid asked, clearly dumbfounded. “Didn’t he, like, go to jail or something? I heard he’s like his brother.”
“He’s not and he didn’t,” Taryn said, maybe too sharply. “He had an assault charge on a reporter who verbally attacked him. He’s…been through a lot.”
Rebecca exchanged a worried look with the other two women.
Taryn smirked without humor. “Y’all think I’m crazy.”
Kincaid pressed her lips together. “Can we go with misguided for now? Sugar, I get that he’s cute, but the fact that he messed with you at all is…kinda screwed up. What his brother did to all of us…to your family. How could he even approach you?”
“He didn’t know who I was either. The night we met, I gave him a fake name. Then things just…happened before we connected all the dots.” Taryn rubbed a hand over her brow bone. “He’s not his brother. He’s sweet and funny and…kind of amazing. But we both knew it was doomed from the start. That’s why I broke it off.”
Liv groaned and plopped down on the floor in front of her. “Girl. We’ve all been hoping you’d get out there and date, but you went from zero to Romeo-and-Julieting this shit right out the gate.”
Taryn laughed, even though tears flooded her eyes. “Do I get extra credit for that?”
Rebecca settled next to her and put her arm around her. “No extra credit but maybe extra hugs. And wine.”
Wine.
Taryn started crying and leaned in to Bec. “I thought y’all were going to hate me for lying.”
Kincaid’s expression turned sympathetic. “It’s not my favorite thing you’ve ever done, but I get why you did. And if you say he’s a good guy, then he’s a good guy. We’ve got your back.”
“Of course we do. That’s never a question,” Liv chimed in.
Taryn’s chest expanded with their easy acceptance and trust in her, their unconditional love. She knew even thinking about Joseph had to hurt them, but her friends weren’t going to judge her or criticize her. Their only concern was that she was okay and safe. No matter what happened with this huge mess, Taryn found comfort in knowing that these women were there for her always, that she was never really alone. That she was part of this family and no one was going to kick her out.
Taryn swiped at her eyes, looking at all her friends. “Thank you. Y’all are the best people I know.”
Kincaid smiled. “Of course we are. We’re amazing. So are you. That’s why you’re in the club.”
Taryn sniffed.
“But you’ve got a big decision to make,” Liv said gently. Taryn turned her head and met her friend’s worried gaze. “What do you want the public to know?”
“More than that,” Rebecca said grimly, “what do you want your family to know? You know we’ll back your decision no matter which way you choose, but you’re going to have to decide.”
Taryn closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think about it. If she lied to the press, she threw Shaw under the bus and made him look like a sick manipulator. If she told the truth, her family would be devastated and she’d look like a traitor. The internet would eviscerate her and possibly threaten her fund-raising. That chick is crazy. Who wants to give her money? Normally, she wouldn’t care about public opinion, but the momentum she had in the press for her program would be lost because everyone would be digging into her personal life and mental state instead.
Her phone rang again. Another unknown number.
She needed to talk to Shaw but wasn’t sure she could.
I think I probably love you.
What was she supposed to do with that? The words were everything she wanted to hear and the very thing that hurt her the most. Because he was right—sometimes love wasn’t enough.
Sometimes the world took those choices from you. Or worse, it made you decide between different kinds of love.
In this case, only one could win.
She had to decide, and she knew there was only one choice.
She got to her feet and swiped at her eyes. “I need to go.”
Chapter
Twenty-Five
Shaw turned off his phone and listened to music on the way down to the coast. He’d had a little trouble slipping past the reporters at the apartment complex, but he’d learned a lot of tricks over the years and had lost the one who had followed him at a complicated interstate interchange. At the end of the day, this story would be a blip on real media, so reporters weren’t going to hunt for long. But like last time, this would take on a life of its own on the internet. The public shaming would begin. People who knew nothing about his life or his family would deem themselves experts. He’d be diagnosed, torn apart, and called every disgusting name people could think of. His character, already shredded, would be murdered for good.
He needed to get far away if he wanted any kind of peace. The road seemed like the only choice at this point. He needed to do a little preparation once he got to Galveston Island and signed the papers because his new RV needed more supplies if he was going to take the thing on the road immediately, but he’d worry about that when he got there. He could get it ready quickly enough. He’d just have to suck it up and take out loans for living expenses to make it work until he could find a way to earn some money on the road. He wouldn’t be working at the gym anymore now, which gave him a pang of loss, but he’d prepared himself for that. He’d always known it would be a temporary respite.
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br /> Just keep moving. That was what he told himself, but his mind kept looking back, the music not loud enough to drown out his thoughts. All he could think about was the mess he’d left behind for Taryn. He couldn’t bear the image of those vultures going after her, but he hoped that the story he’d given her to tell would turn all the ugly light toward him and they’d leave her alone. Maybe she’d even be able to raise more for her foundation if people felt she’d been tricked by him. That was little comfort, though.
This was exactly why he should never have let himself get involved with anyone. He only brought drama into their lives. Rivers was going to be dealing with it, too. God, what a fucking disaster. When he got to his destination, he’d compose a statement, confess that he’d tricked Taryn and that she hadn’t known any better. Let everyone think he was as sick as they suspected.
What did it matter anymore? The world already thought they knew him. There was no changing people’s minds.
He’d known it from the start. He only messed things up for the people he cared about. First, his brother. Then, his best friend. Then, the girl he loved. He didn’t belong here.
Or anywhere anymore.
He never should’ve tried.
* * *
Taryn stared at her phone before rolling forward when the light turned green. So much of her wanted to call Shaw back, to hear the words straight from him, to tell him everything was going to be okay. But she couldn’t do that. Things were not okay.
All of this was not okay.
Love isn’t enough.
It’d been a lesson she’d hoped wasn’t true. She was a scientist by nature, but her heart had always held on to the hope that the stories were real, that love conquered all, that if you held on to that notion, things would turn out all right.
She loved her sister. She loved her family. She loved Shaw.
None of that love had been enough to keep them safe, to keep them happy.
She passed Long Acre High, now with a different name and look, but always the same in her memory. Her body tensed. She seized up almost every time she passed the high school, even though she’d lived in this town her whole life. The scars never went away. Her sister’s blood was soaked into the sediment of that school, along with that of so many others. She couldn’t change that, no matter how hard she tried. No matter what she did or how much research she completed or how many programs she created, the result was the same.