I was speechless. The high I was riding over my upcoming art show crashed with this other prospect for my future.
“Isabelle?”
So many thoughts rioted in my mind. I grabbed one and gave it a voice. “Why did you decide to ask me that tonight? It seems so sudden.”
“Honestly, I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’m tired of only seeing you for stolen weekends once a month. After a day like today, all I wanted to do at the end of it was come home and sink myself into you. Bury all my troubles inside your warmth,” he confessed, his fingers massaging his forehead.
His candor caused heat to rise in my cheeks. He’d never been so vocal about his need or desire for me. I felt bad I couldn’t be there for him when he needed me. And I felt guilty that a part of me was glad I was home.
I stroked my thumb over his cheek on the screen. “I’m sorry I can’t be there when you need me.”
“I know. And I’m not trying to make you feel bad for not being here. Coming home to my empty place after a bad day just made me realize how much I’d rather come home to you. I miss you.” His eyes pleaded with me to understand.
“I miss you too. It would’ve been nice to share my good news over dinner in person with you. So, I understand what you’re saying,” I offered. Long distance relationships were hard and a lot of work. Distance was a different factor in my relationship with Beckett than it was with Dawson. But the miles still complicated things.
“So, what do you say about the idea of us moving in together? And if you’re worried about what your parents will think, I already mentioned it to your dad.” He looked so pleased with himself.
“You did what?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, when we visited, I broached the subject with him.”
“Wh-what did he say?” I stammered.
“He said you were an adult, and they’d support whatever decisions made you happy. He also said I’d better treat you well.” He chuckled at that.
I nodded. “Sounds like Dad.”
“You still haven’t answered me.”
My lungs expanded with a deep breath. I had to be honest with him. He deserved it. “Can I think about it? The timing isn’t good right now. I need to be here with the show coming up. Plus, I have a lot of photoshoots scheduled in the coming weeks,” I explained, hoping he’d understand why I couldn’t answer. Yet.
“Sure, you can think about it. I’d want to think about it in your position too. I know what I want. I enjoy being with you. I want to be with you more, so I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level.” His explanation sounded so simple.
Could it really be that simple for me too? I like spending time with him too. I wasn’t looking to cut him out of my life.
“I know. And I enjoy being with you too. But it’s easy for you to suggest this. You aren’t going to be leaving your job, your patients, your home. You get to keep everything in your life. I’d be leaving everything of mine behind.” He had to see the scales tipped precariously in one direction instead of being even.
“I know you’d be leaving everything but me. And I don’t want to pressure you or rush you into anything. I just wanted you to know where my head was at.” He was so rational in his plea.
“OK. Thanks for telling me.” I stifled a yawn with my free hand. I was ready to crash.
“You look sleepy, babe. How about I help you sleep better?” he offered.
The mischievous look on his face should’ve clued me in, but I was too fuzzy headed to pick up on his suggestion.
“You going to sing me a lullaby?” I joked. It was something Dawson had done for years. I’d always loved it.
“Actually, I was thinking you should switch this call to your laptop and take your clothes off.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
I gasped and blushed. It wasn’t that I hadn’t ever had phone or video sex before. With Dawson traveling the world for a huge chunk of our relationship, we’d gotten pretty adventurous in pleasuring each other from afar. But I’d never done anything like that with Beckett. He’d never even hinted it was something he’d even be interested in.
“I see I’ve shocked you speechless.” He chuckled warmly. “Hopefully, in a few minutes, the only sounds you’ll be making are moans of pleasure. I’ll call you back in five minutes. Get ready and answer on your computer. OK?”
I still hadn’t recovered my voice, so I just nodded.
When he clicked off, my mind raced. Jumping up from the bed, I paced the floor for half a minute, maybe a little more. I wasn’t sure I was relaxed enough with Beckett to let him see me touch myself. We hadn’t even had sex with the lights on yet. I was so inhibited with him. The thought of him watching me made me feel incredibly vulnerable, but I couldn’t come up with a good reason not to try.
And an orgasm would certainly help me sleep better. I looked down at myself. Did I have to get naked, or could I leave on my tank top and sleep shorts? While I thought about it, I darted to the living room to grab my laptop from my desk.
When I got back to my room, I left the overhead light off and dimmed the bedside lamp to its lowest setting. I set the open laptop on the unused pillow next to mine. As I slid beneath my covers still dressed, I opened the drawer on my nightstand and grabbed my hot pink vibrator—a gift from Dawson years ago for us to use together, in person and on calls. It had gotten a decent amount of solo use in the years since our breakup. With it, I’d get off quickly, and maybe the awkwardness of Beckett watching would be short. I chewed on my lip while I waited for the call to come through.
The alert sounded, and my heart raced. My fingers ran through my hair, trying to make myself look pretty. I should’ve checked the mirror. Who was I kidding? Beckett had just seen me on the video call. He knew I was makeup-free and messy-haired. Sighing, I propped up on my side and answered the call on my laptop.
A shirtless Beckett filled my screen. His short hair was slicked back. He was in his bed, where I’d spent a handful of weekends over the course of our relationship.
“There you are,” he whispered.
“Here I am.” I smiled shyly.
“You’re so beautiful.” His hand brushed across his screen.
I swallowed hard, unable to answer through my nerves.
“Thanks for… this,” he mumbled.
I nodded. “Is this enough light? I mean, we’re usually in the dark. But I figured complete darkness wouldn’t quite work for this. So, I left the lamp—”
“Shh. It’s fine. I can see your face in the dim light. It’d be nice if you weren’t wrapped up to your chin but being able to watch your face and hear your little noises will let me imagine what I can’t see.”
With trembling fingers, I pushed the blanket down to my knees. From the angle of the computer, he could still probably only see down to the top of my collarbone. “Better?”
He gave a gruff chuckle and swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“What next?” I really didn’t know how to do this with him. It shouldn’t be this awkward to do this with my boyfriend.
“Slide your computer back a little and angle it so I can see more than just your face. Like this.” He leaned and set his computer onto the bed next to him. Now more of him filled the screen. In addition to his handsome face, I could see every toned inch of his abdomen and his rock-hard cock.
My breath stuttered out at seeing his prominent arousal. I moved my own computer, so he could see more of me. “How’s that?”
“Good, sweetheart. Now, rub your nipples for me.”
Thankful for the direction, I slipped my hand under the satiny hem of my tank top and lightly traced circles around one nipple. My touch was feather-light, barely there. But since my breasts were so responsive, my nipple peaked within a few seconds of receiving attention.
“How’s it feel?” he asked huskily.
“Good.”
“I see your nipples getting hard through the fabric of your shirt. Are you wet?” His face moved closer to the screen.
&nbs
p; I gave my nipple one last squeeze, then let my hand creep down into the waistband of my shorts. With one finger, I delved inside. My teeth captured my lip as my body reacted to my own touch. I nodded to answer Beckett’s question.
“Damn,” he groaned.
My eyes darted to the screen, and I found him proudly gripping his cock and stroking it.
“I’m picturing your dainty hand squeezing me now.” He thrust up into his hand. “Touch yourself more,” he rasped out.
“Hang on,” I said. He was far closer to the end than me. I needed to be closer to coming so he wouldn’t finish first and then be fully focused on me. My fingers wrapped around the item that had never failed me.
“What have you got there?” he asked curiously.
I’d hoped I would be fast enough to keep him from knowing what I had. Though he’d probably be able to hear the hum soon.
I held it up to the screen. His eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open. “Does my sweet Isabelle have a vibrator?”
I nodded as I slipped it into my shorts. I looked back at him.
“What are you waiting for? Turn it on,” his voice was eager.
With a wiggle of my hips, the rubber toy glided between my lips. I positioned it against my clit and turned it on. Scrolling through the settings, I stopped on my favorite pulsating pattern. A sigh slipped through my lips as my pleasure mounted quickly.
“Damn, sweetheart. The look on your face… I’ve never seen you look so… I don’t have the word for it. How close are you?”
“Getting there,” I breathed out.
The vibrator was magic. I watched his hand fisting his cock, his motions nearly a blur. Heat gathered and traveled across my skin. My eyes slammed shut as my hips arched into the vibrations.
It wasn’t Beckett’s face I saw behind my closed lids or his voice filling my ears. I clamped my lips shut, trapping the name that wanted to sneak out and muffling the low moan that erupted from me as my orgasm washed over me.
♪ Go Back to You by Selena Gomez
When I drifted back to myself a few moments later, I self-consciously shut off the toy and pulled my blanket back around me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Beckett.
“Wow. That was amazing,” he breathed out.
I finally looked at the screen. His release was splattered on his belly, and a sated look filled his eyes. A shy smile tipped my lips.
“Watching you like that was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Why in the world did we wait so long to do this?” he asked incredulously.
I shrugged.
“The look on your face when you shatter in ecstasy is stunning. I’m going to go clean up and let you get some sleep. You look pretty worn out. OK?” His fingers brushed down the screen of the computer on his side.
“OK, Beck. Goodnight,” I whispered.
“Sleep well, babe. I’ll talk to you later. Love ya.”
“Love ya too.”
The screen went dark as he blew me a kiss. I shut the lid, stashed my trusty vibrator and turned off the lamp. My eyes drifted closed as I allowed sleep to pull me under.
When I finally woke the next morning, it was after ten. Thankfully, I had no shoots scheduled for the day. With a leisurely stretch, I made my way to the kitchen with my laptop tucked under my arm. The aroma of my favorite coffee filled my nostrils as I padded down the hallway. Thank goodness for a programmable coffee maker.
After filling my mug, I leaned over, inhaling deeply. That one deep breath started my synapses firing enough for me to start the photo edits I needed to complete in the next couple of hours. One image particularly caught my eye. Meg, the little girl I’d photographed a few days ago, had her head thrown back in laughter as she soared ever higher in a swing. The sky and tree branches made a beautiful backdrop. After a little retouching, I had an image I thought would be good for the exhibit. I shot off a quick message to her parents to get their consent to use the image.
Methodically, I worked my way through the remaining photos of Meg’s family shoot and another shoot. Cropping, lightening, darkening, adjusting color, softening focus—making each image a work of art. When I was finally done, I opened a folder I’d buried in a string of subfolders a couple years ago, so it wouldn’t taunt me from my desktop every day. I clicked the button to generate the slideshow of the album.
The first series of images featured small stages with barely enough room for Dawson to work the space after the rest of the band equipment was set up, enthusiastic crowds jumping through a smoke-filled haze, and raw talent. Photographing Lyrical Odyssey at the beginning of their journey the summer after high school graduation had been one of the most exciting times of my life.
♪ All Summer Long by Kid Rock
A carefree summer filled with following the guys around to local gigs, so they’d have images for their website. Late nights, lots of laughs, shameless flirting, stolen kisses and more as we remained more than friends but less than a couple. We had no labels. We both knew once summer ended, we’d be heading in different directions, so we guarded our hearts while we made memories.
I fast forwarded the slide show to images I’d been paid to capture of the guys on their first official tour with the record label. With a few clicks, I placed some of the earlier, smaller gigs on the screen next to their first larger show. Seeing them side by side gave me an idea about creating a piece which highlighted the contrast and growth in their musical identities. Small stages became larger. Enthusiastic crowds that just appreciated live music became frenzied, devoted followers who slept in line to get into the shows. Smoke-filled haze was replaced by flashing lights. And raw talent evolved into a finessed, unique sound.
As the light bulb went off inside, I hastily opened a new window and sorted through a folder of older images. I finally found the ones I wanted. Dawson and the guys playing in his garage when they were still in school. The series from three different time frames could tell the whole story. With the band’s popularity, the images would definitely garner attention. I’d need to contact the guys to get their permission to display the images. Definitely worth considering, even though I wasn’t ready to reach out to them yet.
One image in the series of the tour caught my eye. It was of Dawson center stage before a show. He hadn’t known I was in the shadows. His guitar was nestled in his arms, the case open at his feet. Strumming the strings, he was in his own little world. Whispering lyrics destined to never hit the airwaves because, according to the label, they weren’t marketable. But the words couldn’t be contained within him.
Zooming in, I could make out the drawing attached inside the guitar case. I’d looked at this image a hundred times over the course of our time as an official couple. But I’d always only focused on Dawson’s face, the way his hands held his instrument, his posture, how he as a lone figure still managed to fill the entire stage. With the luxury of time and distance, I guessed I was able to see new details. My heart hammered at the reminder of the first time I’d seen it in his case…
I’d finished all my on-campus courses, leaving my senior year filled with a couple online courses and actual visual arts work. The freedom that afforded me allowed me to go on tour with the guys for a large part of the time. When I met up with the tour bus, they were on stage, just finishing up their sound check. Dawson’s eyes collided with mine as he was coming off the stage. Taking the steps two at a time, he was by my side in an instant, sweeping me up in a scorching kiss. Ever since we’d decided to move officially into couple territory during my sophomore year, the past ten weeks was the longest we’d been without seeing each other.
♪ For the Life of Me by Trent Tomlinson
Somehow, our lips parted enough for us to make our way to the band’s shared dressing room. He tugged me over to an overstuffed chair in the corner. Leaning down, he grabbed a fresh shirt and stripped out of the damp one he had on. Heat spread across the surface of my skin as I took in his rippling muscles. My fingers itched to reacquaint themselves with all h
is delicious features.
“Want to go find an empty janitor’s closet?” I whispered in his ear.
“I wish we could. We have a meet-and-greet in, like, thirty minutes, and that’s not nearly enough time to reconnect with you properly. Half an hour would barely allow me to scratch the surface of what I want to do to you,” he growled back in my ear. The heat of his breath sent shivers down my spine.
I pouted. “Are you sure you don’t want a quickie? I promise it’ll be good.”
He nibbled my pout for a second, then pulled back. “I have no doubt it would be good. And we can have quickies up and down the west coast. And longies and mediums and everything in between now that you’re here. But the first time I put my hands, my tongue, my cock on you, in you, I’m going to need quite a bit more time to savor and memorize you than any amount of time that can be measured only in minutes. You’re going to be so wracked with pleasure that you’re really going to appreciate tomorrow is a travel day, ‘cause you’re going to need the recovery time. Understand?” The rough pad of his thumb rubbed softly across my lips.
I swallowed hard and nodded as heat rushed to my core. I ached with need for him. But if history was any indication, the wait would make it that much hotter.
I tugged his head down and leaned my forehead against him, putting our eyes inches apart. “Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you, Daw. The minute you strum the last note of your encore, you belong to me. And only me. No party, no fans tonight. I need you.”
♪ She’s All I Ever Had by Ricky Martin
“You got it, flutterby. I’ll make sure Steve, Joe and Lila know not to bother me after the show.”
I frowned at the mention of Lila. The girl hated me. She’d been very vocal about how Dawson needed to keep me a secret ever since she found out about our relationship. My unvoiced opinion was that she wanted Dawson herself and was just biding her time to try to make something happen between them.
Over my dead body.
Lyrical Odyssey Rock Star Series: Box Set 1 Page 40