“Let’s find out about these guys who’ve been making music together since they were in high school,” Elle spoke into the camera.
She turned to us, “If I remember correctly, Dawson, you and Brooks started playing together first.”
“You’re right. Dawson and I formed a duo when we were thirteen. Jett joined us three years later,” Brooks said with a smile.
“And when did Maddox and Wilder join the group?” Elle asked leaning forward.
Whenever anyone asked about our past, we always just kind of gave the generic response that we’d been playing together since high school. We’d never really talked about the actual building of our band.
Maddox and Wilder exchanged a look before Wilder spoke up, “We started rocking with these guys a few months after Jett joined.”
“What was it like when you guys first started playing together?”
“Rough,” Jett teased.
We all chuckled. “It took us a while to become a cohesive unit. But when we did, man, it was magic,” Brooks said.
“Making music with these guys saved my life,” Wilder admitted softly.
“What do you mean?” Elle asked curiously.
“I was on a path to self-destruction before I met these guys. No purpose. Nothing concrete to care about. Then one night over dinner Maddox told me he overheard these guys talking about being in a band. Mama Nancy took one look at the interest in our eyes and dragged out some instruments from the basement,” Wilder explained.
“Mama Nancy had been searching for months for anything to draw us out of our shells and motivate us to achieve something,” Maddox jumped in.
“Besides getting kicked out of another school,” Wilder added with a laugh.
“Who’s Mama Nancy?” Elle asked.
I couldn’t believe the guys were allowing the story to go this way. They exchanged a look and a nod before Wilder answered, “She’s our foster mom. She saved us.”
“Wow. That’s amazing and definitely something that hasn’t ever been mentioned before. I’m intrigued, and I really wish we could delve more into that right now. Maybe if there’s time at the end of the show or in a future interview,” Elle said, sounding torn about leaving that line of questioning.
“Sounds like a plan,” Maddox offered with a smile.
“But for now, we have to take a commercial break,” Elle said as the producer signaled the time.
Elle was oddly quiet during the break from taping. When the producer signaled we were about to go live, she put on her classic smile and faced the audience.
“Welcome back. We’re here with one of my favorite bands. As I understand it, Lyrical Odyssey is undergoing some changes. Would you guys care to elaborate and tell fans what it could mean for them?” Elle asked, leaning towards us.
I glanced at the guys to see who wanted to field the question. I didn’t want the interview to be all about me just because I was the front man.
Wilder leaned forward and said, “We, like lots of bands do, are starting our own label. For the fans that means more music like ‘Dear Universe’. It means a different type of access to us because we’ll be managing our own publicity, tours and releases.”
“I’m curious though, why the change? Your original record label has grown your careers by leaps and bounds. You’ve gone from playing tiny stages in bars to arena world tours. You’ve had two album releases that went platinum. And the latest is on its way to diamond status. I’d say your label was doing a pretty good job for you guys,” she said, listing our stats.
“The change is not because of anything the label did wrong per se. You’re right, they did amazing things for us. But we wanted more creative control. We wanted to record some of the songs we’ve been sitting on for years,” Brooks said.
“And we wanted it to go back to being about the music. Not the social statuses and being seen with the right models or celebrities. Not having to worry about being photographed with people we care about. Not having our personal lives dictated by what perception we need to give the fans,” Jett added passionately.
“I can understand that. Speaking of personal lives, Dawson—” I leaned forward preparing myself mentally for whatever she was going to ask. “—your fans have all been concerned about your well-being after your stint in rehab. So, how are you doing?”
Sinking back into the cushions in relief, I gave Elle a sincere smile. “As far as my sobriety goes, I’m doing great. Abusing alcohol and drugs was different for me than a lot of addicts. I wasn’t chasing a high. I was trying to turn off my head, my feelings… everything. Once I allowed myself to just accept things rather than trying to forget them, it was easier to stop using.”
“How was it for you guys to watch him go through that?” she asked my bandmates.
“Dawson and I have been friends for what feels like forever. It was really hard to watch him slip further and further away from us. And I hated that I didn’t realize what was going on sooner,” Brooks said.
“I didn’t want you guys to notice,” I said softly.
“We were all really worried about him. None of us could identify with what he was going through. But we were so relieved when he agreed to get help without a fight,” Maddox added.
“Well, I think it’s a rite of passage for all great musicians to take a detour through rehab,” Wilder joked, trying to lighten the mood.
She laughed along with the audience. “I guess they don’t say sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll for nothing.”
“Exactly. But all kidding aside, using drugs and alcohol to dull your senses, to numb your pain, is not a smart idea. I’ll forever be grateful to these guys and the label for stopping my downward spiral. If they hadn’t, I’m not sure where I’d be right now. Probably dead of an overdose,” I admitted.
Brooks clapped me on the shoulder in a show of silent support.
“If you don’t mind my asking, what were you trying to numb yourself to? Even amid all the gossip when you rescheduled shows to enter a private rehab facility for sixty days, there was never any reputable explanation as to what happened to drive you to fall so deeply into that lifestyle. All indications prior to the six months before the tour went on hold were that you steered clear of the party scene. So, what happened?” Elle asked.
Drawing in a deep breath, I straightened my spine. “You’re right. I did tend to stay away from the insanity of the rocker lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong, when we were first starting out, I did my fair share of partying, but never the hard stuff and never to excess. And then as we started really touring, I stopped altogether. I didn’t need the substances to get the high. Performing did that for me. But then I lost the person who meant the most to me in the world.” I glanced at the camera.
“Can I ask who it was?” Elle asked from beside me.
I answered, never taking my eyes off the camera, “My muse. My inspiration. The love of my life.”
“Oh wow. What happened?”
“You know, I’m not totally sure. Things were great. Then there were some obstacles related to my celebrity status… and the paparazzi didn’t help,” I said with a shrug.
“Damn paps,” Elle chimed in, causing the crowd to cheer.
♪ Everybody Talks by Neon Trees
“Exactly. Anyway, around the time the media went berserk, I lost my cell phone. I was on the other side of the world, and she wouldn’t take my phone calls. I tried everything I could think of. Calling and texting from my new number. Reaching out to my family so they could get a message to her. Sending her a letter. Nothing worked. I was crushed.”
The crowd collectively murmured, “Aww.”
“I held out hope for a year. Then I saw something that let me know she’d moved on with her life.” My throat clogged with emotion, but I swallowed it down. “So, I let go. I started drinking. That escalated to drugs. It got to the point where it took more and more to stay numb. And as you know, rock stars have access to whatever they want. And I tapped into that access.”
; “As a musician, why didn’t you just pour your feelings into new music? Like other artists have after experiencing heartache,” Elle asked logically.
“Believe me, I tried. That was my first route. But I found myself unable to compose anything, which was another devastating loss. I’d been writing songs since I was twelve years old. To lose such a vital piece of myself was something I didn’t know how to cope with. So, I didn’t.” My fingers twisted together as I bared bits of myself to the world in hopes Izzy was watching.
“But now, the music’s back?” Elle asked eagerly.
“It’s getting there.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“As I explained in my video on Facebook, I want my girl back. But I needed help figuring out how to accomplish that. So, in my mind, I started composing a letter to the universe begging for help.” Was she watching at home?
“And the posts about it have gone viral. Your fans are filled with ideas on how to win back her heart. Though I did see quite a few fans offering to heal your broken heart,” Elle said.
“Yeah. I saw those too. And I appreciate all the support. Honestly, that might be a plausible solution if it was any other girl. But it’s not… It’s her. And she’s it for me. I’ll wait for her until there’s no beat left in my heart.” My face was fierce with the seriousness of my vow.
Elle’s hand fluttered to her chest. “That’s a pretty romantic confession.”
I shrugged. “What can I say? I love her.”
“I won’t ask you what her name is, but I do wish you well in winning her back.” Elle patted my shoulder.
“I don’t want to put her in a bad spot. She has a life now that doesn’t include me. And there’s a lot of crap to put up with when it comes to being involved with someone who lives in the limelight. I understand if she doesn’t want to be part of that. I love her enough to want her happiness and well-being above all else. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to let her know how I feel about her.” I turned back to the camera, praying she was seeing this.
“Well, I think you just told her. If she watches my show, that is,” Elle said, glancing in the direction of the camera.
“She’s your biggest fan.”
Elle laughed. “I like this girl already. She’s a genius.”
“Elle, she’s everything.”
“When was the last time you saw her?” Elle asked softly.
“I…um… I’ve actually seen her since I got off tour. But before that, it had been about two years.” I glanced down at my lap, where my finger traced idly over my tattooed thumb ring.
“Wow. So, what was it like seeing her again after all that time?” Elle seemed giddy about the direction the story was going.
I swallowed down the lump of emotion that filled my throat as I recalled our reunion. “Like I could finally breathe again. Like my heart could finally pump out a full beat. Like home. Like heaven. Like hell,” I admitted.
♪ Heaven by Warrant
“Why like hell?” Elle latched onto the negative word.
The answer was simple enough. “Because she isn’t mine.”
“And I take it she broke your heart?” Elle prodded.
“She didn’t break my heart. Without her it is broken. But she’s the reason my heart still beats and my soul sings.”
“That’s profound. We still have some time left before I’ll let you close the show with your new song for the first time in its entirety. How about we lighten the mood?” Elle said, having mercy on me.
All the guys nodded enthusiastically.
“I know Journey was your biggest musical inspiration and helped you guys come up with your name. And I know you’ve covered songs in every genre. I want to know the things no one else has thought to ask you guys,” Elle said with a grin.
“Now I’m scared,” Maddox teased.
“Who’s the biggest slob of the group?”
“Wilder,” Brooks, Jett, Maddox and I all said in unison.
“Hey. Haven’t you heard that messiness is a sign of intelligence?” Wilder defended himself.
“I have heard that. Do you guys ever get into fights?” she continued.
“Of course. We’ve lived on a tour bus together pretty much off and on for the past four years. Buses are small,” Jett said.
“What do you fight over?”
“Who drank the last soda, who left only crumbs in the chip bag, who ate the special cookies mailed from home, who’s turn it is to sleep in the extra bedroom, who gets to pick the movie. Little things really,” I said.
“We bicker like brothers. But we always have each other’s backs,” Brooks added.
“I have it on good authority that you guys have three special shows coming up. One in South Carolina, one in Ohio and one in LA.”
“That’s right. We’re doing a show in each place that’s served as a home to any of us. And all the proceeds from the shows will be donated to local charities,” Wilder explained.
“I love that idea. Speaking of home, are you guys glad to be back home?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” Jett enthused.
“Hell yes,” Wilder and Maddox both exclaimed.
“You know it, Elle,” Brooks said.
“And what about you, Dawson? How’s it feel to be back home?” she asked when I remained silent.
“It feels good to not be cramped in a room where I can touch the walls from my bed,” I offered.
“Will you be home for a while?”
“LA’s not home.” I couldn’t use the word for my house. Not yet. Not without her.
“That’s right. You’re from Ohio,” she reminded the audience.
“That’s not really home either,” I found myself saying.
“Oh?”
“Don’t they say home is where the heart is?” I gave her a sad smile.
She nodded. “They do.”
“My heart’s in South Carolina right now. Maybe one day, it’ll be in LA.”
“Since you mentioned South Carolina, one of our fans told us that you were spotted in South Carolina a few days ago,” Elle announced.
“I went to help some family friends celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary.”
She clapped her hands together. “Congratulations to your friends. That’s quite a feat these days.”
“Yes, it is.”
“As we head to commercial break, let’s take a look at this video clip someone sent us,” Elle said, pointing behind us.
We all turned to watch the large screen behind the couches. After a few seconds, a video obviously shot with a cell phone filled the screen. The clarity wasn’t that great, but since it only happened a few days ago, I was easily able to recognize myself seated at the edge of the frame behind a piano. Then my distinct voice carried over the chatter around the person recording. The camera panned to show Brooks accompanying me as we performed “Mountain of Love” for Nana. Thankfully, the person videoing the performance turned to capture the spry couple enjoying the song. I was so stunned that someone had sent the clip into the show, I didn’t notice that the cameraman had signaled we were no longer live.
Leaning forward, I asked in a hushed tone, “Was that the only video they sent you?”
Elle’s face filled with concern. “No. But this was the one I thought was the cutest. Why?”
Turning to Brooks, I couldn’t keep the panic from my face. “I’m on it, D.” He whipped out his cell phone, no doubt scouring the world-wide web looking for any uploads from the anniversary party. Without explaining my fears, he knew I was worried there might be a video of my duet with Izzy floating around out there.
“Dawson, what’s wrong? I wasn’t trying to create a problem. I just thought you taking a request from an elderly couple would be a great way to show your fans a different side of you,” Elle explained, worry furrowing her brow.
“I understand. It’s just one, I never expected my privacy to be violated at a family function. And two, the girl I’m trying to win back was
at the party. We actually sang together. I’m worried that she’ll be thrust into the limelight against her will, putting her in danger,” I whispered.
“Danger how? The paparazzi tracking her down?” Elle asked, no doubt sensing a story.
“Not just that. Some of my fans are… overzealous and wouldn’t take too kindly to anyone having my heart. I’m afraid someone might target her,” I explained.
“OK. Let me help. I’ll make sure the clip is removed from the upload of the episode to the internet. I’ll see if we can track down who sent the clips plus make sure no one else here leaks them. Is there anything else?” She seemed anxious to help.
“I’m going to get my people, few that I have, to make sure any clips that were uploaded to the internet are pulled down. We have a good relationship with those who manage YouTube.”
“I really am sorry. I had no idea.”
“It’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it. Normally I wouldn’t care. It’s just I don’t want her exposed.” I dragged my fingers through my hair.
“Totally understand. If I can help, let me know.”
The producer interrupted, “We’re back in five, four, three…” He silently counted the rest with his fingers.
“We’re back. And it’s almost time to say goodbye to our favorite rockers. But before they go, they’re going to play the full version of ‘Dear Universe’ for the first time ever publicly,” Elle said to the audience.
The crowd went wild as we all moved to take our positions behind our instruments. This was the first song I’d ever written that started with three E-minor chords. As I strummed my love to Izzy, I closed my eyes and lost myself in the plea of my heart.
Dear Universe
I need your help
to fix my curse.
I held the answer
But in lies I did immerse
Please somebody
don't let me make it worse.
Dear Universe
Lyrical Odyssey Rock Star Series: Box Set 1 Page 52