Chapter 22
Dawson
The rest of our time in LA passed without incident. Joe had followed up with the police in South Carolina. They had no leads on the motorcyclist with the pink hair. The security footage from my neighbors only showed a figure wearing dark clothes and a hoodie. And of course, the florist had been a bust too. She’d paid cash. They did have a signature from her, but the only letter that was legible was the big C. So, we knew her name started with a C. Not a lot to go on.
Now we were in Ohio about to see my mom. I hadn’t seen her since before I went into rehab. The last time I couldn’t even remember because I was too high. Hopefully, she’d forgiven me. I’d find out soon enough.
Joe, Izzy and I were staying at Mom’s because she insisted. The rest of the guys were staying at a hotel in Cleveland. I just prayed it wouldn’t be awkward.
Joe pulled the rental car into the driveway of the house that had been my home for most of my life.
“Ready,” Izzy asked, squeezing my hand.
Before I could answer, the front door flew open, and my mom bounded down the steps.
I opened the car door and got out, dragging Izzy out behind me.
“Baby, I’m so glad you’re home,” Mom said as she threw her arms around me.
“It’s good to see you too, Mom.” I squeezed her to me. Maybe my worries were for nothing.
After several long moments, she stepped back. “Let me look at you.” She held me at arms’ length and looked me over. “You look so much better than the last time I saw you,” she said with tears in her eyes.
“I’m a lot better now. I’m sorry about the way you had to see me last time. Please forgive me,” I begged around the lump in my throat.
“Of course, baby. Mommas always forgive.” She gave me a big smile then turned to Izzy.
“Izzy, you’re a sight for sore eyes. I’ve missed you so much.” She drew Izzy into her embrace and hugged her just as tightly as she had me. “I’m so sorry about everything you went through. I was so worried about you. But you look good. Are you OK now?”
“I’m better now. Still have bad days scattered here and there. But so far so good.”
“Come on you guys. Let’s go inside.” She looped her arms through both of ours and led us into the house. “You too, Joe,” she called over her shoulder.
“Yes, ma’am.”
He followed with our bags.
“Are you guys hungry?” Mom asked.
“No. We ate on the plane. But thanks for offering,” I said, giving her another hug.
“OK. Well, I’m definitely cooking breakfast in the morning. I know it’s late, and you have an early morning. I’m not going to keep you up chatting. We’ll have time to talk more when you visit again next month.” She patted my shoulder.
We had to leave right after the concert, but the whole band was coming back next month to catch up with our friends and families here.
“You’re right. And I’m sorry we can’t start right now, but we’re exhausted,” I said as Izzy tried to stifle a huge yawn.
“I changed the sheets in your old room for you and Izzy. And I’ll show Joe to the guest room. Richard should be home tomorrow sometime. Goodnight. I love you,” she said and hugged me once more.
“I love you too.”
She pulled Izzy in again. “Love you too, pretty girl,” she whispered to Izzy.
My heart lightened, watching these two women reconnect. I loved them both so much. They were the most important women in my world.
I grabbed our stuff from Joe and led Izzy down the back hallway to my old room. When I opened the door, it was like stepping into the past. Band posters lined one wall and Izzy’s artwork and photos lined the other. Everything was just like I left it, only neater.
“Your room is still the same. Just like mine was,” she said with a giggle.
“Definite blast from the past.”
Izzy took her bag and dropped it in the corner by my closet door, where she’d always stashed her stuff whenever she’d visited me here.
“You know, I never asked, but I always wondered. What happened here?” she asked, running her fingers over the fist-sized hole in the closet door.
“I always expected you to ask me about it,” I admitted, rubbing my hand along the back of my neck. “How about we get ready for bed then I’ll tell you about it?”
She nodded and pulled out her pajamas.
I followed suit. Once we were settled in our customary spots in my old bed, I said, “The whole thing is a little embarrassing now that I’m an adult. But when I was sixteen, I was pretty miserable.”
I closed my eyes and could picture it all still…
When I walked in the garage, I chucked my backpack onto the torn armchair in the corner. Then I swiped my hand across the table where my sheet music lay, sending it scattering all over the concrete. Brooks watched silently as I kicked over the metal music stand. As I drew my fist back to punch the wall, he finally intervened.
“Dude, whatever this tantrum is about isn’t worth breaking your hand over. If you break your hand, you can’t play. If you can’t play, we lose our first paying gig at Casey’s party next week.”
I sneered at him. He was right. But at the moment I couldn’t find a damn to give about ever playing again. I refrained from punching the wall and my best friend. I threw myself onto the couch Mom had discarded out here with the chair. Her new boyfriend, Richard, had bought us new furniture. Better furniture, at least according to him.
“Wanna tell me what has you so bent out of shape that you’re trashing the song you were so happily writing last week?” he asked as he settled next to me.
“It’s nothing,” I grumbled and ran my fingers roughly through my hair. “It’s everything. Nothing is right anymore.”
Brooks let me stew silently, knowing I’d finish my thoughts soon enough.
“Mom’s moving on. Dad’s been moving on. And Izzy’s moving on with freaking Jessie. Prick used to be my friend until he moved in on my girl. The girl he used to make cry,” I growled.
“Whoa, whoa. Your parents are divorced, man, and have been for years. You had to expect they’d find someone new at some point. Do you want them alone and miserable?” he asked seriously.
“Of course not. But I always kind of hoped Dad would grovel, and Mom would take him back then we’d move back to South Carolina.”
“And leave the band behind?” Brooks asked quietly.
“No. Yes. I don’t know. I mean I love playing and writing music with you guys. But realistically speaking music is a pipe dream. For every band who makes it, there are hundreds of garage bands that keep playing in the garage until they’re old and deaf. But Izzy… she wasn’t a pipe dream. But she was a dream I couldn’t realistically pursue with me only in the same place as her a few weeks out of the year. I’ve been biding my time until she and I can end up in the same place together for good.” My fingers tore at the hole in the denim covering my leg.
He raised his brow as he looked at me. “Is Izzy aware of this plan you have?”
“Well, not exactly. She’s my best friend, and we’ve always redrawn that line whenever we’ve ventured even slightly across it. We’re both afraid to risk what we have. But in my mind, at least, the two of us are a foregone conclusion. At least until stupid Jessie rewrote things.” My hands clenched into fists.
“Dude, she’s been dating him for a few weeks. He might not be serious about her. I mean, you’ve been on dates yourself. And you’re certainly not serious about any of those girls,” he pointed out.
“He sent me a text today asking for my help picking out a piece of jewelry for Izzy’s Christmas present since I’m her best friend and all,” I said with air quotes to punctuate the tone I read his message in. “You don’t buy jewelry for someone you’re casual about.”
Before Brooks could say anything else, Wilder and the other guys made their presence known.
“Know what you need?” Wilder asked as he
sat on the arm of the couch.
“What?” I asked, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
“To get drunk.” He pulled a beer out of his backpack and handed it to me.
Without considering how dumb it was to drink under my mom’s roof, I popped the top and took a huge swallow. It tasted like piss, and I’d probably get my car keys taken away if Mom caught me. But the numbing warmth invading my mind by the time the can was empty was enough to make me not care.
We skipped practice and drank beer instead. When the guys finally left and I was alone in my room, I got angry all over again. I punched the closet door. It hurt like nothing I’d ever felt before, sobering me instantly. I collapsed on my bed, cradling my injured hand and nursing my broken heart…
“Thankfully, I didn’t break my hand, and Mom didn’t ground me when she found the hole a week later,” I said as I finished sharing my moment of weakness with Izzy.
“You know, if you’d just told me how you felt about me back then, we wouldn’t have wasted so much time. I was in love with you for years before that,” she said and kissed me.
The next morning, I left Izzy sleeping and went to the kitchen. Mom was sitting in the dim light, sipping coffee.
Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of me.
“Still up with the sun, I see?” I asked and poured myself a cup of coffee.
“Yeah. The question is what in the world are you doing up already, Mr. Rockstar?”
I chuckled. Mornings had never been my favorite time of day. Living on the road hadn’t helped improve that either.
“Just wanted to spend some time with you before everyone else got up and the day got away from us.”
She patted my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m glad you did. And I am so glad you’re back together with Izzy. You are back together with her, right?” Mom asked cautiously.
“Yes, we’re back together.”
“I’m not going to ask what the hell went wrong a couple of years ago. I’m just glad you dealt with whatever was going on and are better now.” She sipped her coffee.
“Mom, do you love Richard?” I asked, adding sugar and creamer to my mug.
She looked at me, confusion on her face. “Of course, I do. I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t.”
“Like you loved Dad?” I prodded.
“Dawson, your dad was my first love. I gave him parts of myself I’d never give to anyone else. And I’m glad for that. Though I love Richard very much, there are times when I wish things had gone differently between me and your dad. I know our divorce hurt you deeply. And I was so hurt, I didn’t know how to help you. I never thanked you for taking care of me when I should’ve been taking care of you.” Sadness covered her face.
“I just don’t understand what made him do it. You know, when Izzy and I were together the first time, there was always this thought lingering in the back of my mind that I could break her heart like Dad did yours. And the thought gutted me. I’d rather die than hurt Izzy. I know that’s ridiculous to say considering how I wound up hurting her anyway, but I never wanted to bring her any pain.” I stirred my coffee.
“Dawson, why on Earth would you think that you could ever hurt Izzy like your father did me?”
“Because if my own dad, who was my hero, could cheat on the woman he swore to love until death, the woman he made a family with, then what could possibly prevent me, his son, from doing the same thing?” My fingers traced the rim of my coffee cup as I stared into its murky depths.
“Dawson, look at me.”
I glanced at her.
“You are not your father. You are your own man, always have been. And let me tell you, yes your dad loved me, but having seen you and Izzy from the very beginning, I can say with complete certainty that your dad never loved me like you love Izzy. He never looked at me like you look at her. Like you’ve always looked at her. I hope you know your heart would never let you betray her like that.” She squeezed my hand.
“I know it now. When we were apart, I could never get past my heart enough to even have a random hookup with a hot groupie.”
“TMI, Son.” She laughed at me. “I’m glad you know you don’t have the capacity for that kind of betrayal in you. You should know, I forgive your dad. Yes, he crushed me. But I let that pain go years ago. And I wish him the best now. You should forgive him too. Hanging onto anger will only hurt you in the long run. I don’t want that for you. Your dad loves you very much.”
“I know he does. And I’m not as mad as I was. I just don’t understand what makes a person cheat.” Tipping my mug to my mouth, I took a healthy swallow.
“Me either. But your dad owned his mistakes, and years ago, he actually reached out to me and asked for my forgiveness. Maybe we were just too young when we got married. Maybe because we’d always been together, he felt like he was missing out on something. I can’t honestly say. But I’m over it. Don’t carry a grudge on my behalf. That’s a heavy burden that’ll make you weary.”
“I know you’re right. I’ll try. Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
The techs just finished setting up all our equipment, and it was time for soundcheck. I stepped up to the mic and tapped it three times then winked at Izzy, sitting in the first row next to Maddox’s friend, Sky. I’d never stepped up to a mic without sending my signal of love to Izzy out there in the universe whether she was in the audience or not.
She beamed at me. And instantly everything was right in my world. I strummed the opening chords to ‘First Kiss’, then I slipped into the verse, singing directly to the muse for it. She was all I saw as the words flowed out of me.
Halfway through, we switched to ‘Party Hard’, an upbeat number the crowd always loved. The two songs were the best options to test the range of the of the instruments. The sound technicians did a couple of tweaks and deemed us ready to perform.
Fans were already lined up outside. This venue was a little bigger than the one we originally planned to use, so there was a mad scurry among fans to get the extra tickets when they released. This was our last scheduled performance for at least a year. Fans were a little rabid, especially over the new single.
I jumped down from the stage and rushed into the seats. As soon as I reached her, I swept her up in my arms and spun her around. The elation I felt over having her back in my arms, in my life, was bubbling up out of me, splashing on everything going on. It was hard to see anything ugly in the world while wearing Izzy’s love like a warm blanket.
I kissed her hard. She pulled back after a moment, laughing breathlessly.
“What was that for?” she asked, her hands cradling my cheeks.
“Because I can. I finally can again, and I’m not wasting a chance ever again.”
“You’re crazy, Dawson Anderson, but I love you,” she shouted in the empty venue. “And you’re mine,” she whispered against my mouth.
♪ Crazy Love by Van Morrison
“Come on. Let’s grab some food before showtime.” I tugged her down the aisle and to the hallway. Everyone else was probably in there already.
As we rounded the corner, I ran right into someone, knocking her to the ground.
“Oh crap. I’m so sorry.” I dropped Izzy’s hand and reached down to help up the woman sprawled on the floor.
Once she was on her feet, she pulled off her toboggan and scarf.
“Cleo,” I gasped.
“Way to knock a girl off her feet, D.” She brushed dirt from her leather pants.
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. Izzy and I were on our way to grab some food. What are you doing here?” I asked, still shocked to see her here in Ohio.
“I couldn’t miss watching my boys perform one last time before you guys take a break.” She smiled up at me, then leaned around me to greet Izzy. “Hey, Izzy. How are you?”
“I’m good. You went back to pink?” Izzy asked.
I hadn’t noticed Cleo’s hair was now a shade of pink similar to Izzy�
�s but not quite.
“Yeah. My agent called and said the guys I’m shooting a video with wanted me back with pink hair. So, looks like we’re going to be twinsies until the music video is shot. Then I’m going back to the blue you suggested. What was the color again? Indigo?”
“Yeah. That color looked really good on you. This pink suits you a little better than the bright pink one,” Izzy said.
“It was good seeing you, Cleo. I hope you enjoy the show. We have to run.” I wrapped my arm around Izzy’s waist.
“Bye, Cleo,” Izzy tossed over her shoulder as we moved down the hallway. “Maybe I’ll see you later.”
“I’m sure you will,” Cleo said then headed in the opposite direction from us.
“Wow, she’s a devoted fan,” Izzy observed as we arrived at the green room.
“Yeah. She used to never miss a show when we were in town.”
As we entered the room where the other guys were already laughing and eating, a chill ran up my spine. A horrible sense of foreboding filled me. I glanced back out into the hallway, but no one was out there. Shaking the feeling off, I stepped up to the buffet line assembled to the side.
The catering team wore shirts with the venue logo on them. “Hey ladies,” I greeted them as I steered Izzy over to the food.
They all blushed. “We’re huge LO fans. It’s an honor to be here,” the oldest of the group said, reaching out to shake my hand.
“Well, thank you for taking the time to look after us today.”
The women stood ready to assist us with everything. They ranged from probably twelve to sixty.
Izzy and I piled our plates with chicken wings, cheese, fruit and cookies. As we reached the beverages, the girl manning the cups spoke up, “What would you like to drink?” She leaned over to grab two cups from the back of the row.
I turned to Izzy, “What do you want, baby?”
Izzy stepped beside me and looked at the options. “Is that sweet tea? Here?” she asked in disbelief.
Lyrical Odyssey Rock Star Series: Box Set 1 Page 73