by Eva Chase
“Baldur,” Aria murmured.
“In my death,” I said, before anyone had to ask. “In the void. It was dark and cold and—after a time it clawed its way into me. I thought I left it behind when I was reborn, but I never let myself look all that carefully. I— After Muninn— I can overcome it. I just have to find the right way.”
I couldn’t quite bring myself to look at any of them, not even my twin. So many threats before us, and I’d brought one right into our midst inside me.
15
Aria
Baldur looked so torn up that my chest constricted. I went to him, setting my hand on his shoulder where he was crouched next to Loki. “We’ll figure it out,” I said.
“Yes,” Loki said, pushing himself to his feet and brushing himself off. “Perhaps we should hold off on further practice sessions until you’ve gotten that little hitch under control.” He glanced at Freya. “You could have that chat with your husband.”
Freya’s mouth tightened, but she nodded.
“Do you need anything from the rest of us?” Thor asked his younger brother. “If I can help somehow—”
“No,” Baldur said quietly. His voice had lost almost all of its usual brightness. “But thank you. It’s in me. I’ll see what I can do to better contain it.”
Loki clapped Thor on the back. “Why don’t you come with me? I can think of a few other ways we might determine what’s shaking up the realms. But people always seem to answer questions faster when you and your hammer are around.”
There wasn’t much humor in Thor’s chuckle, but he followed Loki off the field. Hod knelt down at his twin’s other side.
“What does it feel like?” he asked. “The darkness. Where is it coming from?”
“I’m not sure.” Baldur touched the middle of his chest. “These cold strands of it just keep seeping out from somewhere inside me. They’re too thick for my natural light to burn them away.”
A thought struck me, so sudden and unnerving my throat closed up. “It isn’t because—I encouraged you to explore other sides of yourself. To let yourself be wicked. Could that be why—”
Baldur was already shaking his head. He clasped my hand, lifting his bright blue eyes to meet my gaze. “This isn’t your fault, Aria. Not at all. Whatever’s in me, it’s been there for a long time. I needed to face my past, and this is part of it. I just didn’t realize there’d be so much of it, so deep, to overcome.”
“And I doubt our father will be of much use,” Hod muttered with a sharper edge than I usually heard from him. “For all we know, this is part of his great plan somehow.”
The thrum of tension I’d felt from him earlier shivered over me. Baldur rubbed his forehead, his own expression taut. I groped for an idea to suggest, a course of action that gave me something to do other than walking away and leaving them to deal with this mess on their own.
“Maybe containing it isn’t the right answer,” I said, straightening up. “If you’ve got too much bottled up inside you, then why not let some out? You should be able to control it more if you’re sending it out on purpose.” I glanced over at the gleaming walls of Valhalla to the side of the field. “I get the feeling we might all enjoy blowing off some steam in a more concrete way.”
Hod raised his eyebrows. “What did you have in mind, valkyrie?”
He’d used to call me that as if to distance himself from me. Now, the way he said the word sounded like a caress. A compliment that reminded me of all the powers I had in this new life I’d been given.
“It seems to me there are an awful lot of weapons in the hall of warriors that’ve been so sadly neglected,” I said, allowing myself a smile. “What do you say we hack a few things up with our hands instead of all this magic here and magic there?”
Hod still looked skeptical, but he got up too. He offered his hand to his twin, who took it and pushed himself to his feet. We tramped across the field to Valhalla.
The swords and spears hanging on the walls glinted as ominously as they always had. I looked them over and settled on a short sword with a slightly curved blade and a leather-bound grip. The muscles in my arm flexed with my experimental swing. The sword wasn’t as comfortable as my familiar switchblade, but it had a satisfying heft to it. Maybe it was time I moved on to more powerful weaponry.
Baldur detached a sword of his own, longer than the one I’d picked with a silver sheen that suited his natural light. It sang through the air when he gave it a whirl. For the first time since I’d seen him this morning, a hint of a smile curved his lips.
“I’m not sure giving the blind man sharp weaponry is the wisest idea,” Hod said dryly. He ran his fingers tentatively over the blades mounted on the wall.
“We’ll give you plenty of space,” I said. There was a clear area in front of the hall’s main doors, a span of some twenty feet before the rows of tables started. “If you feel like you want to do some hacking too.”
“The idea is appealing. I’m thinking short would be better in this particular case.” He tugged off a dagger that was only the length of his forearm and took a careful jab at the air in front of him. “I can give us something to fight, too.”
At a wave of his other hand, shadows slipped across the floor and rose into blank human-like forms in front of each of us. Mine sidestepped when I did, following my movements.
“It’ll stay with you,” Hod said. “So I don’t have to keep track of where you are. Do whatever you like to it. It’s only shadow—you can’t hurt it.”
I swiped my sword through the figure’s arm, and a wisp of darkness sloughed off with a hiss. Nice. I caught Baldur’s eye, and he raised his own sword. His posture went rigid for a moment. Then a stream of darkness trickled from his palm down the blade.
I couldn’t help watching as he lunged at the shadowy target. Something flashed in his eyes, fearful but determined. He cut straight through the figure’s torso, the darkness he’d expelled coursing across the blade’s path. The form shuddered, bits of shadow scattering the floor, and reconstructed itself.
Baldur swung the sword again and again, carving up the shadowy form with glints of steel and wafts of his own darkness. His expression became fiercer with each heft of the blade. A sheen of sweat formed on his forehead, dampening his white-blond hair. The emotions radiating off him were so fraught my heart started to ache.
He’d spent so long bottling up everything that had ever bothered him. I suspected it terrified him, letting any of that turmoil out. But what mattered to him most was making sure he never hurt any of us again, even by accident.
I turned back to my own target and gritted my teeth. Slash. That was for Odin and his secrets and his condescending tone. Slash. That was for Surt plotting to slaughter us all. Slash. That was for Muninn and the awful memories she’d thrown in our faces. The growing burn in my muscles brought a rush of relief.
A grunt across the room drew my attention. Despite his hesitation, Hod was tackling his own target, his feet planted in place in the section of the room he’d taken, several feet from Baldur and me. In the moment, my gaze found him, his expression was nothing but smoldering rage. He stabbed and wrenched his dagger through the shadows he could only have felt, not seen. His chest heaved with ragged breaths.
The ache around my heart squeezed tighter. I lowered my sword and set it on the top of the nearest table. Circling the benches, I came around to Hod’s side of the room.
I was worried about startling him, but he must have heard the pad of my feet. He jabbed at his target a couple more times and then turned toward me. His face was flushed, his dark green eyes glittering with silent emotion.
“Are you all right?” I asked. I hadn’t realized he might need the release quite this much.
He rotated the grip of the dagger in his hand as his jaw worked. “I’m fine,” he said. “I’ve lasted this long under the Allfather’s rule. I… I just don’t know if I can protect you from whatever he might lead us into.”
The ache turned into a lump th
at rose to my throat. “Hod…”
“This was good, though,” he went on in a more casual tone, before I had to figure out what to say. “Let it out, like you said. I do feel more grounded. Is the sparring helping you, brother?”
Baldur had come to a stop at our voices. He nodded, wiping at the sweat on his forehead. “I think some of the darkness really is gone. It’s less tangled up inside me right now—less twisted.” He paused, and the corner of his mouth slanted down. “I wish I knew that it wouldn’t come back. That this is all there is, and once I’m rid of it, I’m done.”
That comment sent a different sort of twinge through me. It wasn’t very long ago that I’d admitted to Loki how scared I’d become of the shadows inside me, the ones that could reach out through my body to claim lives as a valkyrie was supposed to. I’d managed to find a sort of peace with that power, hadn’t I?
“Would it really be so bad if you couldn’t get rid of all of it?” I said. “It doesn’t have to hurt anyone. Hod carries darkness with him, and he decides how it acts.” His shadows had proven they could bring pleasure just as easily as they could pain. The memory of them gliding over my skin sent a warmer shiver to my core. “You don’t think of him any less for having it, do you?”
Baldur set down his sword, his mouth twisting but his gaze fond as he looked at his twin. “Of course not. But that’s in his nature. It’s simply a part of him. In me…”
“It isn’t that different.” A new urge came over me, with the release of some of that frustration I’d been carrying. I touched Hod’s arm first, leaned in to brush my lips against his shoulder. His skin tasted faintly smoky. “And it’s not a burden, something meant to be hidden away. It can be beautiful too.” The next words wrenched a little coming out, a nervous tremor passing through my body, but I clamped down on that fear. “I love Hod’s darkness.”
Hod’s voice came out thick with feeling. “Ari.”
He cupped my face, and I gave myself over to his kiss. To everything he felt, dark and light, even if the tenderness of his touch stirred up enough longing in me to scare me. Then I moved from him to Baldur.
“I could love the darkness in you too.”
The glow that came into the light god’s eyes was nothing but hungry in that moment. His hand came to rest on my waist as I stepped right up to him, his breath hitching faintly as I pressed my mouth to his.
I soaked in the heat of his body against mine, the ripple of his muscles as his other arm came around me to pull me even closer. He angled his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue teasing over mine.
Desire flared low in my belly. I kissed the light god harder, running my hands up under his shirt to trace the lines of those muscles skin to skin. A groan escaped him.
He tipped my head back, and his mouth found the sensitive skin at the crook of my neck. His hands eased up my sides, spreading a shimmer of pleasure everywhere they touched. With a hoarse breath, he yanked off my tank top. A flick of his thumb loosened my bra.
Baldur brought his hand to my breast, a glow lighting on his palm. I whimpered as it tingled over my skin. A flicker of shadow joined it, a brief jolt of cold amid the heat. My nipple pebbled at the contrasting sensations. I didn’t jerk away, but pushed into his touch encouragingly.
With a needy sound, he ducked his head to suck the tip of my breast into the wet heat of his mouth. I arched into him, a gasp slipping from my lips. But at the same time, my exposed skin prickled with the desire to be touched even more. To be encircled on both sides by this affection I’d never have dreamed I could have deserved.
Baldur worked my nipple over with his tongue, and I clutched the nape of his neck. I reached my other hand toward Hod. “Please. I want you more than witnessing today.”
He moved to us so quickly I guessed I probably hadn’t needed the plea. The dark god’s lips skimmed the side of my neck, his body pressing against me from behind. “Like this?” he murmured, his voice full of so much promise I all but quaked with longing.
“Yes. Oh!” His hand closed over my other breast, his thumb teasing the tip with another cool flicker of shadow. Baldur suckled me harder, and Hod turned my cheek so he could reach my mouth with his, and right then I was floating on nothing but pure bliss.
Bliss, and the burning for even more. Baldur’s hand slipped down between my thighs. I cried out as he eased his fingers over my core through my jeans, spreading another warm glow flecked with chilly exhilaration in their wake. Hod released my mouth to kiss a path down my bare spine, and I tugged Baldur up to meet me for another kiss. My body rocked wantonly with the motion of his hand. My fingers trailed down his chest to the bulge behind the fly of his slacks.
He groaned again. I stroked him up and down, and a very specific wanting came over me.
I could do this. I wasn’t a victim anymore. What I wanted, I could take—and give. The past didn’t matter if I didn’t let it.
My hand fumbled with the button and the zipper. Then I was tucking my fingers inside his loose boxers to circle the silky hard length of him. Baldur bucked into my gasp, his breath stuttering against my lips.
I pulled my mouth from his and wrenched up his shirt with my free hand. As I kept stroking him, I pressed kiss after kiss down the length of his torso. “Aria,” he murmured when he must have realized where I was heading.
Hod sank onto his knees as I fell to mine. He fondled both of my breasts as he tested his teeth against my shoulder blade, right at the spot where my wings would have emerged.
A fresh wave of pleasure rolled through me. I swiped my tongue around Baldur’s navel. Then I dipped my head and closed my lips around the head of his cock.
Baldur braced himself against the table behind him, his fingers tangling in my hair. I could feel him holding himself back from plunging deeper into my mouth. Every inch of him hummed with longing.
I slicked my tongue along the underside of his erection, drinking in the summer-sweet taste of him. As he shuddered, another hard length brushed my ass. Hod needed attention just as much as his brother. Hell, I was still burning to be filled between my legs as well as my mouth.
I shifted my ass back against him as I sucked Baldur down deeper. Hod nipped my back, and one hand dropped to the waist of my jeans. He trailed his fingers over my skin, tracing the hem of my panties, until I tugged his hand to my fly to show him I was all for this direction.
With a flutter of movement from his fingers and his shadows combined, he peeled my clothes down to my thighs. His fingertips circled my clit. I moaned around Baldur’s cock, arching my back to give Hod better access.
He didn’t need more of an invitation than that. With a rustle of his own clothes, his naked cock nudged between my legs. I gripped the base of Baldur’s erection and gave him a firm pump as I edged my knees apart. Hod and I gasped together as he slid into me from behind.
Oh, Lord, yes, I loved this—being worshiped and worshiping in return. Hod moved inside me with smooth, steady thrusts, his mouth searing my neck, and I set a rhythm working my mouth and hand up and down Baldur’s length. The light god’s legs trembled as I took him even deeper.
“Fuck,” he muttered, the first time I could remember hearing him swear. I took that as my cue to pick up the pace. His fingers tightened in my hair, holding me but not directing me. Letting me keep control the way I needed to. “Aria. I’m almost—I’m going to—”
He came with a rush of salty fluid and a wash of light that tingled from him through my entire body. As my lips clamped and swallowed, that energy seemed to burst between my thighs. Hod’s thumb grazed over my clit, his cock filling me even more deeply, I tipped over the edge in turn, clutching Baldur’s hip for balance.
My body clenched around Hod, and his movements turned jerky. He looped his arm around my waist, holding me to him as he spilled himself inside me. His mouth feathered kisses along my shoulder.
Baldur sank to the floor to kiss me on the mouth. I ended up tucked between the two of them, my head on Hod’s shoulder and my ha
nd on Baldur’s thigh, as we lingered in the afterglow.
“Maybe you’re right. A little darkness isn’t a bad thing,” Baldur murmured in a wry tone.
I laughed a little breathlessly. “No. Not at all.” I squeezed his leg affectionately and snuggled closer to Hod’s chest. In a minute or two, we’d have to break out of this joyful state and go back to reality, but I was going to enjoy this moment for as long as we could drag it out. “And three can definitely be more fun than two.”
Hod snorted. “Suddenly I’m very glad there’s only the four of us—unattached, anyway—in all of Asgard.”
I swatted him. “I wouldn’t want anyone else anyway. Four is more than enough, thank you very much.”
His comment started my thoughts spinning in a totally different direction, though—to Freya, soaring home after her search for her daughter. To all those empty halls where Asgard’s other inhabitants had once lived.
“The other gods who did used to live here,” I said slowly. “Most of them are still around somewhere, right? They just took off to take an extended beach vacation or whatever?”
“As far as we know,” Hod said. “Why, are you rethinking that ‘four is more than enough’ remark?”
I rolled my eyes. “No. I was just thinking that more gods would be helpful if we’re supposed to be taking on a giant and his entire army. Shouldn’t we go looking for the others? If Surt takes over the only stable realms left, it’ll affect all of them too. This is still their original home.”
Baldur shifted. “We could mention it to Odin.”
Every nerve in my body balked. “No. Do you really think he’ll say okay when he’s shot down every other idea we’ve given him? He’s too stuck on whatever he thinks is the right way for this to all go down.”
“I won’t argue with you there, valkyrie,” Hod said. “But we do need him.”
I tipped my head up to look at his face. “Do we really?”