He slouched in the driver’s seat, looking crushed. “Help me out, Quinn. Please.”
She tried to think, but she was only growing more nauseous. “I … I’m sorry Zander. Can we talk about this later? Please? I have to get in to work.”
His hands were tight on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. He didn’t look up at her when he answered. “Whatever. I’ll be here at nine to pick you up.”
She climbed out of the car and closed the door, nearly falling against it as she gulped great breaths of the cold air. Her stomach was still churning, but the sick feeling was subsiding; she probably wasn’t actually going to throw up.
It was still light, she noticed. All winter it had been dark or nearly so when she arrived at work. It was March now; the days were growing longer. Concentrating on the feeble light of the sunshine, instead of on the conversation she had just had, she wiped her face against her sleeve, trying to make the tears go away. It wasn’t very effective on the waterproof coat, but it was better than nothing.
By the time she walked into the library, she was reasonably calm. After she clocked in, she looked around. There were a few patrons, but nobody needed help. There was a cart stuffed full of books near the desk, waiting for her to re-shelve them. Hoping that would keep her mind occupied for a while, she pushed the cart into the non-fiction section in the back.
She tried not to think about Zander – every time her thoughts drifted in that direction, her heart rate accelerated – but it was impossible not to. When she heard the main door open only a few seconds after she’d started putting books away, she jumped and went to look, wondering if it was him, if he would be able to go all the way to the end of her shift without talking to her. Half of her hoped that there was no way, because she still didn’t know what to say, but the other half just longed to be snuggled in his arms, feeling safe.
It wasn’t him, though. The second time the door opened, her heart didn’t respond quite so dramatically, but she still went to look. And her heart stopped completely.
It was William.
At the sight of him, several emotions slammed into her at once, with the force of a freight train, nearly knocking her over. She reached him before he was even halfway to his usual table.
“Look, William. It isn’t my fault that Thomas kissed me. I have no idea what he was thinking. But you can’t just be mad at me and ignore me forever. What in the world is going on with you that you can’t even be bothered to say hi or have a friendly conversation with me in the hallway? I thought we were going to be friends. You agreed. You promised. And now, what? You’re going to be mad at me forever for something that wasn’t even my fault? You’re not even going to give me a chance to explain? You’re just going to punish me? Not even help me out and take care of my arm? What am I supposed to do?”
Tears streamed down her face in earnest, dripping off her chin and landing on the front of her shirt. She couldn’t be certain, but she thought her nose was running, too.
William stared at her, looking shocked. He didn’t say anything for several minutes, he just stared.
Now that she was up close to him, she noticed for the first time that he didn’t look right. His face was paler than she had ever seen it, and there were dark, nearly black circles under his eyes. His eyes themselves were bloodshot.
When he finally spoke, his words were not in response to anything she had said. “Thomas is missing.”
The book she had been holding fell to the floor with a resounding thud. A cold chill ran up her spine, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up straight. “What?”
“Quinn? Is everything okay over there?” her boss called to her from across the room.
“Um, sort of. Is it okay if I go and talk to William outside for a minute? He’s having an issue he needs some help with.” Her voice shook, but a sudden calmness and clarity had overtaken her, and she knew they couldn’t finish this conversation inside, where someone could hear.
“Is it anything I can help with?” Sylvia Williams was nothing if not kind and understanding.
“No, it’s kind of … private.” She didn’t know what the older woman would think of that, but she would probably get away with it since the librarian adored both her and William.
“Okay, hon, whatever you need. Let me know if you need anything.”
She almost ran to the door, expecting that he would follow. A few seconds later, they were on the front sidewalk.
“What about Thomas?” Was it possible for a brain to explode?
“I … we … don’t know where he is. Or at least nobody did when I left Eirentheos on Sunday night.”
“What do you mean?” She had never seen William like this, never heard him so upset he couldn’t speak clearly.
“I mean … When he didn’t come to meet me in Cloud Valley, I just figured that he’d had something else to do, or that he was still mad at me over the way I’d been treating you. Without the birds, there’s really no way to send a message…” he paused, trying to catch his breath. Her heart sank into her stomach as she realized that there might be a completely different reason for his behavior this week.
“And then I got back, and everyone was asking me where he was, why he hadn’t come back with me, and then we realized. Nobody had seen him or heard from him for eight days. Then Nathaniel went, and he came back here on Tuesday night. Thomas still had not returned. Nathaniel went back again last night. I’ve been going out of my mind.”
She did the math quickly in her head, her heart speeding in fear. “He still hasn’t come back from Philotheum?”
“No, that’s what I’m telling you … wait. What did you just say?” His face had gone from bone-white to dusky gray.
“Um,” she tried to speak, her voice suddenly small. “Just before I left, literally right before I went through the gate, Thomas told me he was going to Philotheum to try and find your cousin Lily.”
She really hoped he wasn’t going to pass out, because if he did, she had no idea who was going to pick up either of them. Mrs. Williams was tiny.
“He went to Philotheum? By himself? Without telling anybody?”
“He told me.”
“And you didn’t stop him?”
Her jaw dropped. “How was I supposed to stop him, William? What was I supposed to do? He waited to tell me until the gate was open, and then he kissed me and rode off into the sunset. Literally.” Guilt tugged at her insides, though. She could feel panic setting in. She was suddenly overpowered by a familiar feeling – the exact same feeling she’d been having in her dreams every single night. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He looked stricken.
“When was I supposed to? I’ve been trying to talk to you all week, but you keep blowing me off.” The feeling was growing, like a large, heavy balloon slowly filling her chest, making it difficult to breathe.
“What are you talking about? I’ve barely seen you, and on the rare occasion I do, you’re not alone. Or did you want me to let Zander Cunningham in on the secret?”
There wasn’t time to argue about this now. Along with the heavy balloon was a sense of urgency. They had to leave now. They had to do something. She glanced up at the sky; it was nearly dusk. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter right now. We need to go. Right now. We have time to make the gate if we run.”
He didn’t question her, just followed as she took off at a sprint, his pace matching hers. They wouldn’t have to run far; the library was just off the main highway that ran parallel to the river. In a few hundred yards, they would be able to turn onto one of the many hiking trails that intersected each other, and follow one down to the riverbank.
She was so focused on where she was going, what she was doing, that she didn’t even register the quick glimpse she caught of a black truck turning left into the parking lot as she and William ran out of it.
~ 17 ~
Missing
QUINN AND WILLIAM WERE WELL into Eirentheos before the
exercise had calmed either of them enough to realize what they had just done.
William slowed first. “What are we doing?”
She stopped in the middle of the path and turned toward him. “We’re walking to the castle.”
“I gathered that part.”
Pausing, she stared up at the dark sky, at the blanket of twinkling stars that were beginning to look just as familiar as the ones at home. “I don’t know. I just… We have to do this, we have to find him.”
“You just walked out of your world, Quinn. Nobody knows where you are. You left work right in the middle of a shift.”
“I’m aware of that. I was in the middle of a fight with Zander, too. I didn’t even take my coat or my purse. I’m sure the police are there by now. But what, exactly, am I going to do about it right now?”
“Nothing.”
“Right. I have ten days to worry about how I’m going to handle that situation. So, the only thing we need to think about right now is finding Thomas.” She started walking again, quickly.
William kept up with her easily. The lights of the capital city were appearing on the horizon, the dark outline of the castle rising behind. It was a view that she had come to love, peaceful and breathtaking at the same time. On her last trip here, she had stopped several times just to marvel at it. Tonight, she was focused on reaching her destination.
“So, let me get this straight. Thomas walked you to the gate, told you he was going to Philotheum to find Lily, and then he kissed you?”
“Yeah.”
There was a long pause – too long, but she couldn’t do anything about that now, either. “Did he tell you that he hadn’t told anyone where he was going?”
“Yes.”
“Did you tell him that was a bad idea?”
“Yes, I did.”
They walked in silence for several more minutes before William spoke again. “Quinn?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry for not talking to you at school, and not telling you what was going on. I was just so freaked out and upset; I don’t think I could really concentrate on anything properly.”
She stopped again, taking the time to really look at him. His eyes met hers. The look on his face was one she’d never before seen on him – he didn’t look angry, he was sincere and contrite, and the combination did strange things to her insides, making her look down at the ground before she could answer.
“I’ve been there. I’m sorry I didn’t track you down, corner you, and make you listen to me, to tell you what I knew about Thomas. I just … I guess I just assumed that he had made it back safe, like he promised he would. And I thought you were acting that way because you were mad at me about Thomas kissing me.”
The stress of the situation and the enormity of what she had just done were beginning to weigh on her. She dared another look into his gray eyes, unable to stop her bottom lip from trembling – until that moment, she hadn’t fully realized how much it had hurt her to be estranged from him. “And I thought you had decided we weren’t going to be friends after all.”
He didn’t answer. For a long moment, he stood there, staring at her, but when she could no longer fight the tears that wanted out, he did something completely unexpected – he pulled her into his arms.
Still, he didn’t speak – and neither did she. He just held her there, her head against his chest while silent tears streamed down, wetting her cheeks and her neck – and the front of his shirt.
When she was finally calm, he rubbed her shoulder and then reached into his pocket, withdrawing a handkerchief and handing it to her. His eyes were so kind as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose that she wasn’t quite as embarrassed as she knew she should be. “You even carry this when you’re in Bristlecone?” she asked when she was done.
He shrugged. “You never know when you’re going to need to offer it to a crying girl.”
She chuckled. “I am a total girl, aren’t I? Crying over stupid stuff.”
Again, his reaction wasn’t what she expected. He frowned. “It’s not stupid. It’s a big deal. Any reasonable person would be upset. I don’t know what crying has to do with being a girl, anyway, and I really don’t know why you would think being a girl is a bad thing. You are one. I can think of more than one person who appreciates that fact.”
There was that feeling again – a warm wobbling of her insides that sent tiny sparks of … something … through her limbs. Looking down again, she tried to stuff the used handkerchief into the tight pocket of her jeans.
“Give me that,” he said, watching her struggle.
She looked up at him skeptically. “You don’t want it.”
“It’s okay.” Pulling the little cloth right out of her hands, he tucked it into one of the outside pockets of his backpack. “I have more if you need another one.”
* * *
They followed the path all the way around the back of the castle, where they could enter the grounds through a small private gatehouse, generally used only by the family and household servants. Quinn recognized Paul, the guard who was on duty.
“Master William! Miss Quinn! I wasn’t told I would be expecting you this evening.”
“I didn’t tell anyone we would be coming. Has Thomas returned yet?”
Quinn knew, by the heavy expression in the man’s eyes, what the answer would be. “No, Master William. We’ve not heard a word.”
William nodded. “Thank you, Paul.”
It was dinnertime; they could smell the aromas of the meal before they reached the dining room. Both of them paused outside the entrance, unsure how this was going to go.
“Let me go in first,” William whispered.
She nodded. From where she stood she could hear the uproar when William entered the room. The younger children squealed in surprise and ran to surround him. Charlotte ran to her son and embraced him.
Suddenly, Quinn was aware of someone standing very close behind her, and she spun around rapidly, nearly falling over in the process.
Alvin caught her under the elbow and steadied her. “Careful there, Lady Quinn. It wouldn’t do to have you injuring yourself at the beginning of your journey.”
She looked up at him in surprise, not knowing how to respond. He still had a gentle hold on her arm.
“What are you waiting out here for? It smells like dinner has already been served.” Keeping hold of her elbow, Alvin guided her into the dining room.
Everyone in the room who had still been seated stood as Alvin and Quinn entered. Stephen and Charlotte looked up at them in surprise; William had not yet had the chance to tell them that Quinn had come with him. Nathaniel was there, too. Charlotte rushed over to her.
“Quinn! Sweetheart, what are you doing here?”
“I … I had to come.”
“William and Quinn need to speak to you in private, Your Majesties,” Alvin said, eyeing the throng of younger children surrounding them.
“Of course.” Stephen nodded. “Maxwell and Linnea, please help the children finish dinner and then get them upstairs.”
Linnea’s whole face was chalky, and her eyes had probably been tinged with that red for days. It was clear she wanted to rush over to her and William to find out what was going on, but she obeyed her father and began to guide the younger children back to their seats.
“Let’s go to my office,” Stephen said, as he began walking out of the room. Charlotte, William, Quinn, Nathaniel, and Alvin followed him silently.
Quinn had never been in Stephen’s office before. She was a little surprised by how ordinary it seemed – it could have been the office of any successful man.
It was a beautiful room, as all of the rooms in the castle were. The floor was laid in a deep, reddish wood that matched the paneling and the big, polished desk. Enormous bookcases filled with books and papers lined two walls of the room, but the other two walls held vast numbers of painted family portraits.
One of the paintings caught her eye right away. It was of six very young
children, recognizable at once. Thomas and Linnea were chubby-cheeked, smiling babies. William, a more serious-looking toddler, was holding his baby brother’s hand protectively. Noticing this detail put a hot lump in her throat.
“All right,” Stephen said, closing the door once everyone was inside. “What is going on? William, what are you doing here? And why did you bring Quinn?”
She swallowed back the lump, trying to keep herself composed. “He didn’t bring me, Your Majesty, I just came.”
“Why?” He frowned, looking both confused, and … something else she couldn’t quite decipher.
“She knows where Thomas went.”
Every eye turned to her. Stephen’s expression went from concerned to aghast. He took a deep breath, and Charlotte, standing by his side, gripped his hand tightly. “Tell us what you know.”
Quinn relayed the story for them, just as she had for William, although she left out the part about Thomas kissing her.
Stephen’s gray eyes looked almost black with his distress. Charlotte had to sit down. Nathaniel sat next to her, one hand on her shoulder.
“Why would he do such a thing?” Charlotte asked. “Why would he risk going into Philotheum now?”
“He doesn’t even know how dangerous it is,” Stephen said, his voice catching in his throat. “He came to me, just after the wedding, asking if I knew why Lily and Graeme hadn’t been there.”
“He said he felt like you were hiding something from him; it worried him more.” Quinn felt like she might throw up just saying the words, but instinct told her that keeping back any information right now, regardless of how trivial, would not help Thomas.
“I was.” Stephen sank into an armchair. He rested his head in his hands.
“Things have changed in Philotheum.” Nathaniel spoke now. “Tolliver’s father has turned over control of the Philothean army to him.”
“So, what does that mean? What difference does that make?”
The king sighed. “Both Tolliver and his father have a very different idea of ruling a kingdom than what has been traditional in both Eirentheos and Philotheum for a long time. They believe we are weak when it comes to handling our people, that ordinary citizens have far too much power and decision-making in our policies. He can’t change that in our kingdom, obviously, but he has begun to take more control over the people of Philotheum – or he’s trying to, anyway.” His voice took on a dark tone.
Roots of Insight (Dusk Gate Chronicles -- Book Two) Page 14