According to the timetable at the bus terminal, there were no overnight buses to Surfers Paradise. The first available was at nine o’clock in the morning, so I fed some coins into a vending machine and brought some chips and a coke. I sat on a wooden bench and began to consider my next move.
I had to be careful now that the others had been caught. When Davey was reminded of the seriousness of what we’d done, even if he was able to convince the police we’d all gone willingly, he might think twice about withholding information about where I was. And who knows what Mr Romanov might say. I tossed things around for an hour, maybe more, but I was still hungry. The salt and the fizz had done nothing to get rid of the rumble in my stomach, and thanks to the sunburnt family, the only thing on my mind was pizza.
It didn’t take long to find the pizza place. I cased it out from the other side of the street then crossed the road and walked through the door. After a quick look at the menu, I ordered a meatlovers special, extra hot, and sat myself down on one of the chairs lined up against the wall. I picked up an old Country Style magazine from the rack beside me then flipped it open and began to read. Ten minutes later she walked in. She looked different without the uniform, but even with her hair out and dressed in a pair of jeans and t-shirt, there was no mistaking who it was. I sat there frozen and my heart began a drum solo in my chest so loud I could hear it.
‘Hey, Jen.’
Jen, the lady behind the counter looked up and smiled.
‘Hello, hello . . . if it isn’t Coffs Harbour’s finest. Aren’t you the hero, then?’
‘Hardly.’
‘Too right you are, Cath. Found those missing kids, didn’t ya?’
‘Only one, I’m afraid. There’s a girl still unaccounted for.’
‘Poor dear. Still, you got the boy, he’ll know where she is. God, it makes my skin crawl. You’re giving him the treatment, obviously? The old bloke, I mean?’
‘The detectives are in with them now. They’re not saying much though. Just between you and me, I think it’s been blown out of proportion.’
‘What do you mean?’
Cath, the policewoman, shifted up closer to the counter and leaned forward.
‘Well, we got talking,’ she said. ‘At a station level, I mean, and the boys who dealt with the old bloke reckon he didn’t have a bad bone in his body. He was just old, they said. Old and confused. Had a little turn as well, so they reckon. Angina or something.’
‘Yeah?’
My heart sank and I let out a tiny gasp.
‘Yeah, and the young boy was an absolute sweetie,’ continued Cath. ‘A little odd, mind you. When I drove him back to the police station, he was . . .’
Cath took a moment, as if she was having trouble remembering.
‘He was what?’ asked Jen.
‘Well, besides knowing everything there is to know about police procedure, he was adamant that they were friends. Best friends, the three of them. And no one forced anyone to do anything. They were on a secret quest, he said.’
‘And you believe him?’
‘Yeah, I do. It’s all perfectly harmless, I reckon. But get this, Jen, you’ll like this. When I was driving the boy to the station, he asked me the strangest thing.’
‘He did?’ asked Jen. ‘What did he ask?’
‘Out of the blue, just like that, he asked me what it felt like to be in love. I nearly drove off the road.’
‘No.’
‘It’s true.’
‘And what did you say?’
‘What do you think I said? I told him to mind his own business.’
I hadn’t meant to lower the magazine from my face. I only realised I had after Cath gave her order and turned around and saw me staring. She sat herself down on the seat a few places down.
‘Nice boots,’ she said.
‘Thanks.’
‘Leather?’
‘Yeah.’
She nodded her head then shifted her eyes up to my face. I looked away.
‘On holidays?’ she asked.
‘With my folks,’ I said.
‘Nice. Where you staying?’
I’d never had trouble with lies, but Coffs Harbour’s finest had me rattled. I went to blurt something out but was saved by a brochure that was pinned to the notice board on the opposite wall.
‘The Four Seasons,’ I said.
‘Ooh, The Four Seasons, very nice. Near the beach. Awesome pool, right?’
‘That’s the one.’
I wasn’t supposed to be talking. I tried to look away but Cath shifted closer to the seat next to me.
‘I’m Cath, by the way.’
‘I’m . . . Sharelle,’ I said.
I dropped my eyes to the magazine and pretended to read, but it seemed like Cath was up for a chat.
‘Do you mind if I ask you something, Sharelle?’
I looked up and found a smile.
‘Sure.’
‘Are you okay?’
The question surprised me.
‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ I said.
‘You don’t look fine.’
‘I don’t? How do I look?’
‘Well, you look kind of sad.’
All of a sudden I felt the old Lexie kick in.
‘Mum and Dad are fighting,’ I said. ‘This holiday is supposed to fix things.’
‘And it’s not?’
‘Not really.’
‘But it’s better than home, right?’
‘I s’pose.’
Somewhere to my left, a tiny bell went ding and when I turned my head, Jen appeared behind the counter with a pizza box in her hand.
‘It’s ready, darling,’ she said. ‘One meatlovers, extra hot. Yours is nearly ready, Cath.’
I was desperate to get out of the shop but I played it cool instead and made my way slowly to the counter. I thanked Jen for the pizza, then I turned around and headed for the front of the shop. As I walked past Cath, our goodbyes butted heads. We threw each other a smile and I spilled through the door, into the cool night air.
A wave of relief washed over me as I walked. I dropped my guard and smiled, then lifted the lid on the pizza box. I breathed it in, plucked a piece of salami and heard a familiar voice behind me.
‘Lexie?’
I stopped walking and froze again. I couldn’t move, couldn’t bring myself to turn.
‘You are Lexie, aren’t you?’
A few seconds later, Cath appeared beside me but I refused to look up.
‘I’m Sharelle,’ I said.
‘I don’t think so.’
‘I am. I’m Sharelle Smith-Jones.’
‘Lexie, look at me.’
‘No.’
I went searching for lies, began to dig at the arsenal in my head.
‘I have to get back,’ I said. ‘Mum and Dad are waiting.’
‘I know, Lexie. I know who you are. Please look at me.’
I dragged my eyes from the ground up to Cath’s face.
‘How did you know?’ I said.
‘You looked familiar,’ she said. ‘I thought I’d just seen you around, but the clincher was the Four Seasons.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘There is no Four Seasons in Coffs, Lexie.’
‘Oh.’
‘Yeah, oh.’
I was shattered. I looked down at the pizza box, couldn’t meet Cath’s eyes.
‘I think you and I should have a talk, Lexie,’ she said, softly. ‘Somewhere quiet, hey? We can eat our pizza while we chat.’
Cath’s zippy looking Honda was parked down a side street. As we walked up beside it, she clicked it open with her keys and we climbed into the front seats. Cath put her pizza box down between us. I rested mine on my lap, felt it warm against my thighs and waited for the lecture to come.
‘Lexie.’
Cath’s voice was a whisper, so soft and small I wondered if she’d even spoken at all. When I turned my head and looked at her, she was fiddling with a silver love heart that was ho
oked to the chain around her neck.
‘So what happens now?’ I asked.
‘Huh?’
‘What happens?’ I repeated. ‘Are we in trouble?’
Cath tucked the love heart back under her t-shirt.
‘Yeah, you are, I’m afraid.’
‘Big trouble?’
‘Two-missing-teens-and-a-nationwide-search trouble. You should have made a call, Lexie.’
‘We did, sort of.’
‘Davey?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I talked to Davey in the van, Lexie.’
‘Yeah, I heard.’
‘He’s a classic, all right.’
‘Yeah, he is.’
‘He told me all about you, actually. About home, about your mum and dad.’
‘He wasn’t supposed to,’ I said.
It was awkward now. I wondered how much Davey had said, how much Cath knew.
‘I remember it, Lexie,’ she said. ‘The accident, I mean.’
I was shocked by what she’d said. I was shocked at how easily she’d said it, how easily the words had come when so many other people hadn’t bothered to try. Something dragged me back through the years, back to the ache of not knowing, and somehow Cath seemed to read my mind.
‘I’d just been posted here,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t on shift, but I remember it.’
The tears came quickly. They spilled from my eyes and I raised a hand up and wiped them away.
‘It was an accident, Lexie,’ she said. ‘Your dad fell asleep at the wheel.’
I nodded my head and heard a tear hit the cardboard box in my lap.
‘An accident,’ I said.
‘Yes, Lexie. An accident.’
I can’t remember who it was that said it, but after my father died, someone told me to soldier on. They said that things would get easier with each new day. But it didn’t get easier. It got harder. With each new day, the colours continued to fade. The world turned to grey and I dragged myself through it alone and tried to find a place that felt safe.
‘Lexie.’
Cath’s voice brought me back and all of a sudden I felt lighter. She put her hand on mine and I gripped her fingers and looked up.
‘Is my mum okay?’
‘She is, Lexie. I made some inquiries, as it happens. She’s doing fine. They discharged her from hospital and into rehab this morning.’
‘And Davey told you about Surfers Paradise too?’
‘Not in so many words, but I figured it out. The quest and all. It’s where your dad was headed, right?’
‘Yeah. Stupid, huh?’
‘Not at all.’
‘Yeah, it is. And I was even more stupid to think I was going to get there. You know, I actually stopped swimming for a bit there. I could actually breathe.’
Cath looked at me confused.
‘Swimming?’
‘It’s something my dad told me once,’ I said. ‘About life.’
‘Sounds interesting,’ said Cath. ‘Why don’t you tell me?’
‘You won’t get it.’
‘Try me.’
‘Okay, then . . .’
I went back to my room, to that last time we camped and tried to remember everything dad had said.
‘Life is full of ups and downs and twists and turns,’ I said. ‘One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you’re going for dear life trying to keep your head above a rising river of shit. But it’s the shit that makes life worth living, makes you appreciate the smell of . . .’
‘. . . roses,’ said Cath.
I’m not sure how she knew, but when I turned towards her, she seemed to be someplace else.
‘Ain’t that the truth,’ she said.
We talked and ate, ate and talked, and when we were finished, Cath started the car and threw me a sad looking smile. I didn’t feel like smiling, so I gazed out the window as we motored off. A little way down the road, Cath began to fidget and mutter things under breath.
‘Don’t you dare, Cath Clements.’
When I turned my head, she was fiddling with the locket around her neck.
‘Why do you always do this?’ she said.
‘Who, me?’ I asked.
It was like I wasn’t even there. She drummed her hands on the steering wheel then dropped her head and groaned.
‘Oh God, I am so dead.’
I didn’t have a clue what was going on, but whatever it was, it seemed important.
‘You’re an idiot, Cath Clements. What are you? That’s right, an idiot. Oh God, I am so, so dead.’
She seemed to be talking to herself, and although I knew something about that myself, it seemed a little rude to just sit there in silence.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.
‘Nothing.’
‘Really? It kind of seems like something.’
‘Stop, Cath Clements. Stop the car, right now.’
Cath didn’t stop. In fact, she put her foot down a little harder and the police station flashed by on my right.
‘Oh God, Lexie . . . you gotta promise me.’
‘Promise you what?’
‘I’m serious, you gotta promise me you won’t tell anyone.’
‘Tell anyone what?’
‘Tell anyone I drove you to Surfers Paradise.’
I cocked my head and my eyes popped.
‘What?’
‘Surfers Paradise, Lexie – oh God, I can’t believe I’m saying it.’
I was having trouble believing it myself. Cath wasn’t making any sense, so I shifted back against the door and took her in.
‘Hang on,’ I said. ‘Let me get this straight. You’re a policewoman, right?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘And did you just say you’re going to drive me to Surfers Paradise?’
‘Did I? No . . . Hang on, yes, I think I did.’
‘What, you mean now?’
‘Yes, now. Unless you’d prefer to go back to the station?’
‘Are you serious?’
‘No, of course not. I mean, yes, yes I am. In fact, I’ve never been more serious in my life, Lexie. It just so happens I’m on days off and I’m totally up for a secret quest, so what the hell, hey? After everything you’ve been through, you deserve roses.’
‘I do?’
‘Yes, Lexie, you do. And I wouldn’t mind a whiff myself.’
It was pretty much what you’d call a police escort. I didn’t have to worry about hiding anymore, so I reached down to my backpack and retrieved my gold cowgirl hat. It was a little crumpled and worse for wear, but it felt good to have it back on.
It took me a while to get my mind around the fact that it wasn’t over, that I was heading north in a policewoman’s car, the same policewoman that had only a few hours earlier taken my two best friends into custody. I suppose what made it especially strange was Cath herself. She didn’t act like a policewoman with me. Before, in the pizza shop and in the car, there was a softness about her, a kind of motherly concern that seemed to contradict the no-nonsense attitude I’d seen at the police check earlier that day. Maybe switching on and off like that was something police officers learnt over the years, but with Cath there seemed to be more to it than that. Still, none of that mattered right now. The quest, as Davey called it, was alive and well, so I sank into my seat and lifted the lid on the pizza box. I looked inside at the half pizza still left then I glanced over at Cath beside me.
‘Do you want to trade?’ I asked.
‘Sure,’ she said. ‘What’ve you got?’
‘Meatlovers. Extra hot.’
‘I got the same.’
I missed the others. I missed Mr Romanov’s quiet calm, Davey’s infuriating chatter and his intermittent telling of interesting facts. I even missed the battered Merc. But one thing I didn’t miss was the smell. I’d noticed that afternoon, an unpleasant odour inside the Merc, a kind of sweaty boy smell that had reminded me of a post-lunch classroom at school.
But Cath smelt like vanilla. Her gol
den hair hung down below her shoulders and her smooth, shiny skin was a deep chocolate brown against her white t-shirt. I wanted to know more.
‘Have you lived in Coffs for long?’ I asked.
‘Just over a year,’ said Cath. ‘I got posted there out of the academy.’
‘Do you like it?’
‘Yeah, what’s not to like? I’ve taken up surfing. It was either that or golf.’
‘You surf?’
‘Yep. Well, I try to anyway.’
‘And have you . . . have you got a boyfriend?’
‘Hell, you don’t muck around.’
‘Do you?’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘I’m not really looking, to be honest.’
‘How come?’
Cath glanced my way and smiled.
‘You sound like a copper,’ she said.
‘I’m just interested, that’s all. Anyway, it doesn’t seem fair. You know all about me and I know nothing about you.’
‘It’s complicated, Lexie. My life, I mean.’
‘Yeah, so’s mine.’
The headlights from an oncoming car lit her up and all of a sudden the smile disappeared from her face. Her fingers wrapped tight around the steering wheel then she locked her arms and pushed back in her seat.
‘I lost a baby,’ she said. ‘A little girl.’
After all my prodding and prying, I didn’t know what to say.
‘She lived for three days,’ said Cath. ‘Fought like hell, she did, but her heart wasn’t strong enough. There was nothing they could do.’
Sorry got ready in my mouth, it shifted forward to the tip of my tongue and tried to force itself out. But sorry wasn’t enough. It was polite and proper. It was the thing you said, the thing my mother said when she didn’t know what to say.
‘What was her name?’ I asked.
Cath turned her head and found my eyes.
‘Her name was Alexis,’ she said.
‘Really? Oh God, I’m think I’m going to cry.’
And we did for a bit. We cried and we laughed, laughed at the fact that we were crying. And after we did, I thought about Cath’s little girl, about Mr Romanov and his angels, and Davey and his dad. It was hard for everyone, just like my father had said.
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